All I See Is You

24. The Painter

Chapter twenty-four

The Painter

Hux

T he afternoon sun beat down on me. One could argue it was too early to call it quits already, but this god-awful heat made it damn near impossible to do a good portion of my chores, and besides, with the entire bunkhouse gone at the rodeo—along with their horses—I only had a couple to clean and feed for the evening.

Normally, I didn’t mind working, it was one of the few things that I could still do that didn’t make me feel like a complete invalid. I guess all the muscle memory of growing up in the saddle and just sheer stubbornness had its perks. But the idea of getting to see Quinn sent my pulse rate quickening. I hadn’t hardly spent any time with her the past few days, and I’d be lying if I said I’d been good company for most of it, what with all this rodeo talk going on around the bunkhouse.

It shouldn’t have the pull over me like it did. It wasn’t even like they were competing in one of the big rodeos. But still, just the thought of the word rodeo made my blood both freeze over and boil in my veins at once.

It had taken so much from me. Robbed me of my success, my younger years, my vision. Hell, it damn near took my life. But as much as I hated it, a part of me would always love it. It had shaped me, molded me into the man I was today—for better or worse.

My relationship with the rodeo was toxic as hell, but what a part of me—a deep, forbidden part of me—wouldn’t give to have the chance to suit up and ride one more time.

I blew out an angry breath and a moment later a familiar pressure appeared at my right side. “I’m okay, boy,” I huffed, even as I pulled a dog treat out of my back pocket and held it down at my side.

Rusty took it gently, not even skipping a beat or step as he continued trekking on alongside me. I’d owned quite a few dogs in my life, but none as smart as Rusty. He just got me. My mom and dad had gotten him for me shortly after the accident. He’d been about six months when they’d given him to me, so he was potty trained and had some basic obedience training on him, but any other training was from me. They’d urged me to get him properly trained, even so far as got into contact with an agency to work with him and I, but I didn’t want a seeing eye dog. I didn’t want a cane. I didn’t want anything that let anyone know I was different. I didn’t want to be singled out or judged or pitied, I just wanted to be left the fuck alone.

Silence descended on us as we walked the familiar path—and I mean silence in the loosest terms. Cicadas screeched in the trees, grackles cawed and flapped about, my boots scuffed against the ground, while Rusty’s toenails clicked against the concrete or asphalt beneath my feet. From how goddamn hot the ground was, I’d say asphalt. But none of that would matter soon. Because soon, I’d have the sweetest distraction. Just the thought of Quinn had me quickening my pace.

I mounted the stairs of the porch and bent down to grab the key from beneath the welcome mat before the door. A random thought of what the welcome sign looked like went through my mind. Was it plain or did it have some cutesy little saying on it. Quinn hadn’t replaced this one yet, I’d have felt the difference from all the wear and tear of it, but I bet if she got around to changing it, it’d have some cute little saying on it. Maybe not so generic as live, laugh, love but probably something like Welcome. Hope you brought wine. Which would be pretty ironic, since she was such a damn lightweight.

Feminine laughter trickled through the house from the back bedroom as I opened the front door, letting myself and Rusty in.

Sounded like Whit was here.

I liked the girl. She was a bit—okay, a lot much personality-wise for me, but she was nice and a good friend to Quinn, so who the hell was I to judge? Rusty’s presence disappeared from my side, his footsteps echoing on the hardwood floor as he trotted away from me, no doubt to find Quinn. He was slow to trust, but not with her. Seemed she had him wrapped around her finger as easily as I was wrapped around hers.

Her excited gasp trickled through the house a moment later, followed by a drawn out “awww” by Whit. “Hi, Rusty. I’m guessing your dad must be home.”

Home.

Was it preemptive and pathetic that the single word stirred a whirlwind of emotions in my soul? I might be an idiot, or a glutton for punishment at the very least, but I could envision coming home to her every night. I could envision a life with her. And it would be good. Amazing even to get to love her everyday.

Swallowing down the sudden lump in my throat, I shook off the wave of longing and closed the door. Two pairs of footsteps, accompanied by Rusty’s claw taps, grew in volume as they made their way toward me. A ripple of anticipation welled in my veins moments before her scent hit me. It was the same as every day so far, but the calm that settled over me, curling around my limbs and wrapping around my heart, didn’t cease to amaze me. No one had ever left such a visceral impact on me. Made me feel so deeply. I was painfully aware of Quinn, and I don’t think it would ever change. Not that I minded. Not one damn bit.

“Hi, cowboy.” Her voice was light and warm, matching her touch as she wrapped her fingers around my bicep and drew me into her.

A sigh of approval escaped me as I pulled her into my arms.

Holding Quinn was like holding a piece of heaven. The whole damn world could fall apart right now, but it wouldn’t matter. Every worry, every fear or frustration turned to ash in her soft, soothing wake.

Whit’s squeal of excitement gave me pause. “Ugh, stop it. You guys are just too damn cute!”

Drawing back, I pressed a kiss to the top of Quinn’s head and aimed my attention in the direction of Whit’s voice. “Howdy, Miss Whit. Pardon the intrusion.”

She giggled once more, making my ears ring. Fuck . The sound was so opposite of Quinn’s—louder, more high-pitched, whereas Quinn’s laughter had the same soothing effect as listening to a soft flowing stream.

“You cowboys and your manners. Are you always so polite?” she asked.

I chuckled and removed my ball cap for a moment before running a hand through my hair—god, it was getting long. Righting it on my head once more, I replied, “I try to be, ma’am. Did you have a safe flight?”

For a few moments we just stood there talking—well, Whit talked, Quinn and I just listened, all the while, I held her in my arms, savoring the feel of her. A loud knock on the door interrupted us. Quinn withdrew from me, and then the door creaked open.

“Hey, y’all!” came a familiar, deep voice, just as Travis’ fresh woodsy scent filled my nose. Hellos were tossed around, and even though I mentally prepared myself for his infamous shoulder clap, it never ceased to shock me with its intensity.

“Good luck tonight, man,” I said, trying to shake the shudder that went through me.

If he noticed my nerves, he didn’t let on as he squeezed my shoulder and said, “Well, shit, old man. I didn’t think you approved of this whole thing?”

It’s not that I didn’t approve of it. Hell, I understood the want, the drive, the urge to compete. Even three years later, I still longed to. I’d always want to—as long I was alive and breathing. It was the fact that I couldn’t that made me hate it so much.

I ignored the question in his words and offered my hand out between us for a handshake. “Go kick ass tonight.”

He chuckled and clasped his hand in mine for a firm shake, and when he spoke, his tone lacked any of the humor he usually possessed, a raw vulnerability lingering there instead. “Thank you. If y’all want, we still got some time if you wanna tag along.”

I ignored the guilty sting appearing in my chest and forced an apologetic grin to my lips. “Thanks, man. Maybe next time, though.”

“If you boys are done with your little bromance moment…”Whit’s teasing tone forced me to take a step back and clear my throat.

Travis’ easy-going demeanor returned, any trace of gentleness or vulnerability disappearing as I felt the air shift as he moved through the room—closer to Whit, I assumed. “Aw, you jealous, sugar? Was I not payin’ you enough attention?”

“Maybe.” She gave an indignant huff before the sound of their hushed laughter and teasing filled the room. I fidgeted, feeling like I was intruding on a private moment. Had Quinn and I made Whit feel like this a moment ago, cuz damn, this was weird. It didn’t last long though, and within a moment, we exchanged goodbyes and the two of them were off.

Not even a heartbeat passed after the door closed, and Quinn’s arms snaked around my neck. God, she smelled so fucking good. “How was your day, handsome?” she asked, her lips brushing against mine.

“It was good, darlin’. And yours?” I replied, sliding my fingers in her soft, silky hair.

“Good. Just did some wedding planning stuff and picked Whit up from the airport. Wanna shower and figure out what to do tonight?”

And despite her tantalizing touch, despite the warm, seductive implication in her words that it wouldn’t just be a shower, I found myself saying, “You should go to the rodeo, Quinn.”

She stilled in my grip, and if I could see her face, she’d probably be scowling at me. As it was, I could feel the heat of her confused stare. “What? No. Why would I do that?”

“Your friend just flew here to see you, and you’re gonna stay here, leavin’ her all alone? I might not be the worst company, but I wouldn’t blame you for pickin’ a night of excitement over hangin’ out with my old, boring ass.”

She didn’t move out of my embrace, but something jabbed into my chest—her finger I realized after a moment. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re fine company. Besides, Whit can make friends with a wall. In fact, I guarantee that when they all come back tonight, she’ll have made at least three new friends, and probably twice as many clients. She’s going to be absolutely fine without me.” The stabbing pressure on my chest disappeared as her soft palm replaced the spot her finger had been. “I don’t want to go to a rodeo, Hux. Not unless you’re going with me.”

Her words, her tone, her touch, they were all so reassuring. It should’ve made me feel better, except the knot of guilt in my stomach writhed and tightened in response, like a snake coiling to strike. With a sigh, I asked, “Alright, so if you ain’t goin’ to the rodeo, what do you wanna do?”

A soft, feminine hum fell from her lips as the hand splayed over my heart began a lazy but sure path down my stomach and towards my pantline. “I can think of a couple things,” she whispered against my lips.

Well, if she was trying to get my attention on something else, it was working. Desire sprung to life like a wildfire through my veins, my cock jumping at the touch. “You mentioned somethin’ about a shower?” I asked.

Her warm, lyrical laughter floated around me as she grabbed my hand and led me along. But as she turned on the shower, as I peeled off my dirty clothes, as I stepped under the spray of hot water and Quinn pressed her plush, velvet lips to mine, a single thought kept swirling in my mind.

“We should go to the rodeo,” I finally grumbled out begrudgingly.

She stilled beneath my touch, her words ringing with concern. “What’s going on?”

I sighed and tilted my head back beneath the spray of water before pushing the excess back off my face.

How the hell did I explain this to her? I didn’t even know what was going on, let alone where to begin. I’d avoided rodeos like the plague for the last three years. Sure, I’d experienced the familiar longing, the wistfulness that came along with thinking of my glory days, but never anything like this. The want, the need, the compulsion of being there, even if I wasn’t competing was so strong and visceral I couldn’t ignore it. It was an ache in my chest that I couldn’ get rid of..

“You’re in Texas, darlin’, and what’s more Texas than a rodeo?”

She humored me with a soft laugh, but I still sensed her confusion. Her hands splayed on my chest held more tension in them than usual. “Hux…” she began, but I cut her off.

“Besides, look at you goin’ and plannin’ this wedding for a woman you hate. If you can do somethin’ like that, I think I can go to a damn rodeo.”

She was quiet for some time—a really long time—the only reminder of her presence that of the soft feel of her against me. The hot water had started to cool a bit by the time she spoke. “You don’t have to do this on my behalf. I promise.”

I slid my teeth over my bottom lip before blowing out a breath. “I want to. Let me do this, Quinn.”

Another moment of still silence from her. I felt her nod and then press a soft kiss to my chest. “Why? Why now?”

It was a good question. One I’d been pondering these past few minutes as well. Why now? I pulled Quinn into my arms, felt her soft skin against mine, inhaled the scent of her vanilla body wash mingling with the steam, focused on the reassuring pressure of her hands on my chest. I trailed my fingers up the curves of her hips, along the dip of her shoulder and the column of her neck before settling a hand on either side of her face. A satisfied smirk threatened my lips at the breathy gasp that escaped her.

It was all so clear now.

It was her.

With her, things felt easier. Brighter. Livelier. With her, I found myself wanting to do things. Wanting to go out, wanting to face a new day. Before Quinn’s arrival, I’d just been existing—in the most basic sense. Wake up, go through the motions, contemplate the point of it all, drink myself to sleep a good portion of those nights, then start it up again. And I knew it probably seemed rash or forward or unbelievable, but in a couple short days Quinn had made me want to live again. I wondered what a few months with her would do? Years? Hell, maybe the rest of forever.

Dating had never really been my thing. I’d always been more driven by my career, by making it than finding love along the way. Not that I hadn’t had any relationships, but I’d never dated anyone that made me think of forever when I thought of them.

I thought that with her. I felt it when I kissed her.

I wanted forever. And I wanted it with Quinn.

“In therapy,” I managed to croak out, “Doc talked a lot about motivators for facin’ our fears, and how it’s different for everyone. For some people it’s faith or religion. For others it’s just time. And sometimes it’s an event or a person.” I blew out a breath, completely unfazed as the water continued to drop in temperature. “I thought it was a bunch of bullshit. I wasn’t about to go to church and have people recognize me. It’s been almost three years since the accident and time hasn’t lessened the hurt of what happened. And no job or event or anything like that helped. But then you came along.” I leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before resting my head to hers. “I don’t know what the hell you did, or what kind of magic you possess, but I want to take you to the rodeo. Show you that part of me…even if it hurts.”And I knew it was gonna hurt. I swallowed past the lump in my throat before continuing, “But it’s okay if it does, because I know…well, I know I got you to lean on.”

The admission rocked me about as much as it did her, making my chest tight, and my pulse quicken. But if this stupid accident had taught me anything, it was that time was not promised, and if you wanted something, you should go for it. Who knew how long you’d have it.

The soft pressure of her hands cupping the backs of my wrists greeted me. “Hux, I….” her words washed away like the water down the drain. When she spoke next, her voice quaked, “I’m here for you. Through all of it. I want to see every part of you. Every single piece.”

And then her lips brushed against mine with an intensity I happily matched. For a few long moments I lost myself in the feel of her and how perfect she felt in my arms. But as her fingers danced dangerously low on my waist, brushing against my cock, I let out a groan. “Fuck, Quinn,” I breathed. “Careful, or I may just change my mind.”

Her laughter was light, lyrical, and full of mischief as she toyed with my cock once more, eliciting another growl from me. “You sure you wanna go? We could stay here. I could make you dinner and you can fuck me all night.”

She really wasn’t the innocent little angel I’d pegged her for, that was for sure. And despite the fact that all of that sounded like a damn dream, despite every fiber of my being wanting to do exactly that, I grabbed her hand and pressed her up against the wall. “Darlin’ as nice as that sounds, I wanna devote every single ounce of my attention to making you come again and again, and I want to do this.”

My heart clamored in my chest. I hoped she understood. She lifted her hands to cup my face and I reveled in the feel of her slick body sliding against mine as she rose up on tip-toe to kiss me lightly before whispering, “Take me to the rodeo, Hux.”