All I See Is You

38. Whisper

Chapter thirty-eight

Whisper

Quinn

W hatever shred of control either one of us possessed vanished in that moment. Our mouths clashed once more, a battle of tongues and teeth as our hands grappled at clothes and tangled in each other’s hair. I urged us back toward the truck bed on stumbling feet—it was hard to maneuver us both when neither one of us could keep our hands off each other for more than a second.

The cold metal of the truck bit into my back as Hux grabbed the back of my legs and hoisted me up onto it. I clung to him, my fingers knotting in his hair as I kissed him like my very life depended on it.

It might have.

Nothing mattered, nothing existed in this moment but Hux. The entire world could be ending right now, but I didn’t care. Not when each touch felt like he was worshiping my body, his kisses filled with a ferocity I couldn’t help but match.

One of his rough, calloused hands scraped up the sensitive skin of my inner thigh and dipped beneath the fabric of my lacy underwear.

“Fuck, darlin’, your so damn wet for me.” His words were like a purr in my ear.

A whimper ripped from my throat as he swiped a finger over my clit. I arched into the touch, wanting—no needing more. I needed him. All of him. Anything he would give me. “Please, Hux,” I breathed.

A growl of approval reverberated in his chest. “That's my girl. Use those manners of yours and tell me what you want.”

His finger teased and taunted me, sparking my desire like throwing a match into a vat of kerosene. I burned. Burned so brightly, so damn high that I hoped I never came back down.

I gazed up into his face, the smirk on his lips, the look of fierce determination blazing in his amber eyes. I pulled his mouth down to mine and kissed him, dragging my teeth over his bottom lip as I finally pulled away. I reveled in the growl that escaped him. “Give me more, please. Give me everything you’ve got.”

A shiver rolled through me as he groaned and forced me to lay back on the blanket. Pulling my underwear off, he rumbled out, “Then be a good girl and hook your legs up over my shoulders.”

I didn’t hesitate, obeying the command in his voice. My eyelids fell shut with the first brush of his lips against my thigh, his stubbled jaw tickling my skin. And when he dipped his mouth to my pussy…

Fuck .

I moaned, my fingers darting into his hair as I held him to me. My back arched up off the blanket and little stars winked in and out of existence in the corners of my eyes. “So good,” I breathed, unable to even form full sentences anymore. Not when his tongue did wonderful, dangerous things.

Each stroke was like fanning the flames, until every nerve ending in my body felt like it was on fire.

“God, you taste so fuckin’ good, darlin',” he murmured, head still between my thighs. His breath tickled as it washed over me, the words a hum that sent shivers dancing over every inch of me.

I’d been reduced to nothing more than a whimpering, trembling mess, hovering right on the precipice of an orgasm. It was so close, it almost hurt. My hips rolled as he dipped his mouth to my pussy once more and all but fucked me with his tongue.

So close. So damn close.

But Hux didn’t seem to have any plans on letting it end. Not as he worked me up, up, up, before drawing back enough to let me slowly simmer down only long enough to catch my breath. Then he’d start the infuriating, seductive process again. It was maddening, and so fucking hot.

“Baby, please,” I begged as I shivered beneath him. It hurt. It hurt so good, and I wanted, needed, to crash and burn.

I think he sensed that too. He slid a finger inside of me, pumping in slow strokes as he lapped at my pussy. My head fell back, eyes rolling shut as a cry fell from me.

Holy God. Yes. Yes. This was just what I needed. The cliff I teetered on the edge of cracked, and I waited for the inevitable fall. For my orgasm to overwhelm me.

Except, he paused.

My gaze shot to his face and I swear, the sexy, satisfied smirk on his mouth was almost enough to make me come. “You wanna come, darlin’?”

“Yes. Fuck yes.”

“Foul words from such a pretty mouth.” With an approving growl, he descended on me once more, his tongue darting over my clit as he slipped not one, but two fingers inside me.

A scream tore from my throat. And then I was falling, crashing, burning as my orgasm ripped through me and my very soul. My vision flooded with black, every nerve ending in my body igniting as I rode the wave of pleasure. All the while he never relented, prolonging it all as his fingers pumped in and out of me.

“Good girl, come for me, darlin’...just like that.”

When my orgasm finally ebbed, I found myself paralyzed in place. My skin felt like it was on fire, but the cool breeze floating on the wind sent a shiver through me. Hux gently, so gently, lowered my legs and righted my dress. I felt the truck shift as he hopped up beside me, and then he was pulling me into his warmth. Cradling me to him as he peppered kisses along my shoulder and neck.

My eyes fluttered open and I turned to face him, embers of desire already sparking once more in the wake of his teasing touches. I wasn’t done. The need, the want, the thirst for him was insatiable.

With a newfound ferocity, I sat up, pushed him onto his back, and kissed him while fiddling with his belt buckle and then the button and zipper of his jeans. I managed to pull them down enough to let his cock spring free before straddling his waist, the rock hard length of him poised against my entrance.

The groan that escaped him and the punishingly tightgrip on my hips left my body trembling once more.

“Fuck, Quinn.”

My name—the way he said it… A shiver rolled down the length of my spine and I slowly seated myself onto his cock. Inch by inch, reveling in the growls and hisses and curses that escaped him.

He tried to sit up, probably to kiss me or pull me into his embrace, but I found myself rather enjoying the view. Of him struggling with the lack of control, struggling with letting his desire overtake him completely. The first rock of my hips had his mouth falling open and his eyes rolling back into his head. By the third, he slammed a fist down onto the truck bed.

I giggled at the lack of restraint. I’d never seen him like this. At my mercy. It was always the other way around. I feel like I normally melted with just the simplest touch for him. It was nice to know I had this effect on him. It was empowering, even.

“You like this?” I asked, my voice far more confident than even I expected.

He gripped my hips, helping me pick up a steady rhythm as I rode his cock. “Fuck, yes. You’re so fuckin’ good at this.”

I hummed, his approval warming me to my soul. I never realized how much I needed his praise. But being showered in it, being loved and worshiped like I was a goddess…it did wonders to my confidence. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah, darlin’. Keep doin’ what you’re doin’. Ride my fuckin' cock.”

With a hand still gripping my hip, his other drifted up to grab one one of my breasts. A ripple of desire speared straight to my core, forcing a moan up my throat. My head fell back to the darkening sky.

“Fuck…that feels…so good.” I could barely get the words out as a new orgasm flared to life and rose from the ashes. He kneaded and squeezed my breast, only stoking the flames more. God, I was so close again.

So, fucking close.

He shifted, sitting up fully, and then his mouth met the column of my neck before trailing down, down, down over the curve of my breast. When his mouth found my nipple, his tongue swirling over the peaked bud, I nearly came undone.

“I’m so close,” I managed to bite out as our hips rolled in time with one another.

His teeth grazed over my nipple before he released it with a pop, sending a surge of pleasure so white-hot and vicious through me I almost fell apart right then and there. I didn’t know whether to sigh in relief at the slight reprieve of sensation it gave me or cry out in mourning from him stopping his unrelenting teasing.

“Wrap your legs around me, darlin’,” he growled out, the words low and husky.

I did as I was told, pleased with how filling this position left me feeling. It put him in more in control once more, but I didn’t mind. Each thrust of his hips sent my orgasm blazing brighter. Any second I would catch fire completely and combust. I liked the intimacy of this position too. The closeness I felt to him. He peppered kisses along my jaw, my neck, my chest, while one of his hands stroked up and down my spine gently, while the other speared into my hair, tilting my head up to give him better access to my throat.

“You feel so fuckin’ good. I love the way you ride me.”

His words flooded me with warmth. “I’m so close, Hux.”

Black dots dotted my vision once more, and my body quaked with the need for release. His thrusts sped up in tempo, turning more rushed and violent.

“Come on, darlin’. Come for me,” he murmured against my skin, before nipping at the chord of muscle on my neck.

The mix of pleasure and pain was like an explosion of sensation that detonated through me. I screamed his name as my orgasm tore through me with a vengeance.

I writhed on his cock, clutching to him as if my life depended on it as I rode the blaze searing through every inch of my body. He roared his own release a moment later, his hips bucking and twitching as he came inside me.

We sat there, tangled up in one another. My body had turned to jello, putty, mush. Every limb in my body was suddenly too heavy to move even an inch. Resting my head into the crook of his shoulder, I listened to his racing heartbeat. His fingers brushed up and down my spine—soft, reassuring strokes meant to calm and soothe.

I don’t know how much time had passed, but when we’d righted our clothes and laid out on the blankets and pillows night had fully taken over the sky. Stars shone like diamonds against a canopy of black. I’d never seen so many stars before. His music still played softly, accompanied by the soft chirping of crickets and an owl in a nearby tree. It didn’t feel real how perfect the moment was. One of his strong arms cradled me to his chest, while he had the other propped behind his neck, his gaze toward the stars.

But even though I had a the most beautiful night-time sky above me, all I could look at was him.

“It’s rude to stare,” he huffed, a lopsided grin pulling on his lips.

“I wasn’t staring, I was admiring,” I teased.

He chuckled, running his fingers lazily through my hair.

I bit my lip. I probably shouldn’t ask this, but I was curious. Watching his face to gauge his reaction, I said, “I’m sorry if this is rude. You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable. But…well, what do you miss most about seeing?”

He didn’t even miss a beat. “Tits.”

I gasped, bolting upright and pegging him with an exasperated stare. “What?” I giggled. “ That is what you miss most?”

He laughed. “What? It’s true.” He pushed up onto an elbow and traced my curves with his calloused hands as his mouth found mine. I got lost in him so thoroughly I almost forgot what we were talking about. His hand skimmed up my breast before cupping and kneading it, sending bolts of desire straight to my core.

“I bet yours are fuckin’ gorgeous,” he murmured against the curve of my jaw as he kissed a path down toward my throat.

As turned on as I was, I found myself laughing. “You are terrible.”

“I’m honest.” His mouth dipped lower, his teeth scraping along my collarbone.

“So, tits is your final answer?” I asked, the words a bit breathless.

Another laugh rumbled out of his chest and I reveled in the way it floated over me. I don’t think he realized how incredibly sexy he was. Everything he did made me want him. All the time.

He blew out a sigh, some of the playfulness sobering within him as he settled onto his back once more and said, “I used to love watching the stars at night. This… What we’re doin’ now. It was my favorite thing to do on a nice night like this one.”

I smiled softly, glancing up at him. There was a wistful twist to his lips, a sad smile, like he was remembering those nights. I placed my hand on his chest, the steady pulse of his heartbeat thumping beneath it. “It’s beautiful out tonight. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Are the stars shining?” he asked, and I didn’t miss the longing note hidden in his words.

My bottom lip trembled as I tried and failed to imagine how I’d possibly feel if I could never see the stars again. If I could never see again in general. He was so much stronger and resilient than anyone would ever be able to comprehend. I sat up and leaned over him to kiss him gently. “Brightly, Hux. So brightly.”

I settled back against his side, and for a time we just laid there once more, content to enjoy the peacefulness of the evening.

“So, I’ve been thinkin’...” Hux’s voice startled me with its depth after so long in silence.

I traced patterns with my fingertips over his chest. “About?”

“About if your dad sells the ranch.” He sat up higher, propping himself up against the back of the cab of the truck.

I stilled, my gaze flicking to his. “What do you mean?”

“I could buy it.” He said the words so casually I almost thought he was joking. But something in the set of his jaw gave me pause.

“What? How?”

With a shrug, he said, “I’ve got quite a bit saved up.”

I mean, I had no doubt he’d made a lot from riding, but… “My dad paid like ten million for that place. You have that?”

He nodded, completely unfazed by the disbelief coating my words. “I’ve made a lot over the years, and you’ve seen this place. My parents didn’t need the money. They helped me invest it. If your dad wants to sell the ranch, I’ve got the money to buy it.”

Holy God. He was that wealthy? I couldn’t help but wonder why he would even choose to work, but the thought was so painfully obvious I could have slapped myself. He didn’t work for the money, he worked because it made him feel useful. It gave him a purpose. But then a bigger, heavier realization struck me square in the chest. He was willing to buy my dad’s place for me. Just because. My heart clenched tightly in my chest to the point I couldn’t breathe.

“You…you can’t do that for me,” I whispered.

“Yeah, but it wouldn’t just be for you, darlin’. I’ve worked there since after the accident. That place means something to me too.”

How was he real? How did he exist?

“You’d really buy it? What would you do with it?”

“ We .”

That made my heart skip a beat. Two. Three, maybe. We . I mean, I knew we were together. Knew that what we shared went so much deeper than the short amount of time we'd been together, but still. Hearing him so casually talk about us as a pair, it hit me on a whole new level.

“I liked your dad’s idea to do events at the ranch, but I have another idea as well. A bigger one.”

“Like…”

“Like makin’ it an in-patient therapy center focused around equine therapy. Ridin’s helped me more than I could ever explain. I know the healin' effects it can have on a person’s soul. We could convert the main house into a therapy center, but I’d rather build a new structure on the property somewhere. That way you’d still have the main house to use for whatever you want. Us, events, retreats. Whatever.”

The plan was… It was brilliant. There was so much thought and care already put into it, and just looking into his eyes made me realize how much he wanted this. Needed this.

“You thought this all up today?”

He nodded.

I sat up, chewing my lip as I thought of the possibilities. I still couldn’t believe he’d come up with such a brilliant idea, but…. “It’ll be a lot of money to expand building, not to mention hiring more employees to upkeep the ranch, buying horses for the program, and getting all the permits and licenses and all that. Can you…can you afford all that?”

“Well, that’s what got me thinkin’ about the party too.”

“What about it?”

“I know your dad said to throw a party, but…I don’t know. That just seems like a waste of money to me. Why not have something good come out of an ugly situation? I was thinkin’, let’s put on an event to help with some of those funds? Between me, my dad, and the Mooneys, we have an awful lot of connections in the rodeo and horse world. When people find out I’m hosting an event, especially after announcing my comeback, everyone'll wanna be there. We could have an auction—my dad would probably throw in, like, some lessons, or, hell, maybe even a stud service from one of his roping horses. Mr. Mooney would probably throw in something as well. Hell, Cash would probably auction off himself if we let him.”

I snorted. “That’s honestly not a bad idea. He’d probably fund the entire damn thing all on his own.”

Hux chuckled. “Fuck, never mind, we’d never hear the end of it. He’d think he was god’s gift to the damn earth or something.”

“Doesn’t he already?”

He laughed once more before turning more serious. “And if we raised enough money, I’ll ride my last ride.”

My brow furrowed. “Last ride?”

He nodded, and I watched in silence as a myriad of emotions rippled across his face, the strongest of them all being the resolve shining brightly in his eyes. “I realized today that I don’t need to ride bulls the rest of my life. I just want the chance to face my fear, get on its back, and ride the hell out of it one more time before walkin’ away.”

My heart squeezed at that. With a hint of sadness, but mostly heaps and heaps of pride. What he’d just said couldn’t have been easy. Giving up that part of himself. But I was so, so proud of him. “Are you sure?” I asked, the words little more than a whisper drowned out by the crickets.

He chewed his lip a moment before nodding, reaching out to touch me, like he needed the reassurance. I grabbed his hand and held it in both of mine, kissing his scarred knuckles as he said, “You know, for the last three years I’ve been strugglin’ to find my place, my reason for livin’. I didn’t know what the hell I was doin’ other than just existin’. I couldn’t understand why I was spared that day, while still losin’ so much of myself. I couldn't see, couldn’t ride bulls. What was the point of livin’? Then you came here and you made me feel good. Alive. You made me wanna be better. And after the rodeo…well, it’s all I’ve known my whole life. I felt like ridin’ again was my purpose.” He blew out a breath. “But I don’t think it’s my purpose anymore. Not in the long run, anyway. The more I get on bulls, the more of a chance I don’t make it out of the arena back to you. And I don’t wanna—no, I can’t lose you, darlin'.”

My breath caught, tears springing to life in my eyes before slipping down my cheeks. I held his hand like it was a life preserver and I was lost at sea. There were so many things I wanted to say flowing through my head, but it’s like the connection between my mind and my mouth had been severed. “Hux…” I choked out, my voice wobbly and weak with emotion.

Hux reached out a hesitant hand, searching for my face before wiping at the tears on my cheeks. “So, that got me to thinkin’—”

“Lot’s of thinking today,” I managed to say past the lump in my throat, earning a chuckle from him.

He kissed the tip of my nose. “I was thinkin’ of how far I’ve come since the accident. How much therapy I’ve been through—both physically and mentally… And I don’t know, I like the idea of creatin’ a place for people like me to come and heal. I’d get to ride and work still, and I’d come home to you every evening and not have to worry about dyin’ and never seein’ you again. I think… I think this can be my new purpose.”

I couldn’t see him clearly through my tears anymore. They fell unbidden; it was like trying to hold back a waterfall. I didn’t have words to adequately explain how fiercely proud I was of him. Of all of this self-reflection he’d gone through in just a few hours, and the strength and courage he possessed.

A broken sob escaped me.

Hux’s voice was a soft rumble, but I heard the hint of worry in it. “Well, what do ya think?”

I sniffled, wiping my tears and leaning forward to kiss him softly. “I think that your idea is brilliant and beautiful, and I am…so, so incredibly proud of you. I think that regardless of if my dad ends up wanting to sell the ranch, you should pitch this idea to him. And if he doesn’t bite, then hell, I’ll help you find another ranch. You deserve that dream.”

“We, darlin’.” He pulled me into his lap so that I straddled him. One of his hands danced paths up and down my spine while the other cupped the side of my face, his thumb wiping at the tear stains left behind. “I can’t do this without you, Quinn.”

If I had even a shred of doubt that soulmates were real, it would be gone now. Turned to dust or ash fluttering away on the wind. How was he so perfect and kind and reassuring?

And even though I wanted everything he said, even though I couldn’t imagine my life without him despite the small amount of time I knew him, a trickle of worry filled me. What if he got tired of me? Would he always feel this way?

I looked at him. Really looked at him. The earnest set of his mouth, the warmth and desire written into the brutally handsome curves and lines of his face. But the look in his eyes—the determination, the need, the love in his whiskey-colored gaze erased any lingering doubt.

“You sure you want me to be a part of it?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. But I needed to hear him say it.

“I’m positive, Quinn.”

My heart just about exploded in my chest. I kissed him—slow and soft, but no less intense—before resting my forehead against his. “Good. Because I want to be part of it. Wherever you go, I’ll go. They can say we’re crazy, they can think whatever the hell they want, but what we have…it’s different. It’s special. And it’s real. I… I love you, Huxson Lane.”