All I See Is You

43. East Side of Sorrow

Chapter forty-three

East Side of Sorrow

Hux

W orry crept through me at the tone Quinn used. It was hopeful on the surface, but lurking just beneath was a hint of hesitance. Almost like she was afraid of what I’d think.

“I wanted to make sure we had a backup item in case we were shy of the goal. So, I um…I brought up one of your paintings.”

My heart stuttered in my chest. I shook my head. “No. No one’s gonna want that.”

Emotions roiled within me. Not necessarily anger, but maybe frustration for sure. That and, let’s face it, a hell of a lot of anxiety. No one but her had seen my paintings. Not even Mom and Dad. Sharing that part of myself with the world…I don’t know. It scared the hell out of me.

“You don’t know that, Hux,” she replied back, a note of desperation thrumming in her words.

“I do. No one’s gonna pay five grand for a finger painting.” My words came out low, bitter, little more than a growl.

Quinn’s soft hands slid up the planes of my chest before trailing up the column of my neck and resting on either side of my face. “Hux, your artwork is beautiful. I’m not just telling you that.”

Her soothing touch warred with the anxiety writhing in my chest. Something about the feel of her…I was helpless to it. My hands drifted to hold her waist. “Quinn…”

“Do you trust me?” There was no missing the desperation now. But she sounded determined too.

I didn’t even have to stop and consider her words. I did trust her. Wholeheartedly. Sighing, I raised a hand to cup her cheek, savoring the feel of her smooth skin against mine. “I do.”

I felt her nod. “Good. Because it will sell.” There was a fierceness to her words that made my lips curve upward.

I kissed her before asking, “It ain’t the picture I—”

“No,” she cut in, not even letting me finish. “I’d never sell that one.”

Good. That painting she’d seen me making had a special place in my heart. And since we’d spent the evening in that exact same field a week ago… I couldn’t imagine giving that one away.

“Which one is it then?” I asked.

“It’s a bull.”

I painted them a lot. But I wondered which one exactly. “You’re gonna have to be more specific. Actually, here, let me have it real quick.”

She left my side, and a moment later I felt the weight of the canvas against my hand. I held the painting in one hand and brushed my fingertips over the dips and curves, the rises and falls of the paint strokes. A wistful smile formed on my mouth. “This is Lights Out,” I murmured. “The bull who made me go blind.”

It seemed kind of ironic, selling this painting. Lights Out ended my career three years ago, and very well could be the reason it started back up again.

“Well, let’s see what we can get for it.”

“ D o I hear five thousand once? Five thousand twice? Sold to…well, I’ll be damned? Is that Reid Wilson? I'm a huge fan.”

I think my lungs seized up on me. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get air down my throat. I hadn’t talked to Reid in years. Not since that last day he’d come to visit me at the therapy center. I’d been a fucking prick to him. To be fair, I was a prick to everyone back then, but I was by far the worst to him. Which wasn’t fair. He’d been by my side through it all. In the ambulance taking me to the ER. He’d been the first person after my parents in my hospital room. He came and watched me at therapy. Brought me anything he could think of to help.

And I’d driven him away because I was a jealous asshole. Jealous that he could still ride. That he could still see. Jealous that he’d gotten my spot as top rider and made it to NFR that year and won the whole damn thing.

I’d pushed him away because he reminded me of everything I should have been, but wasn’t.

I didn’t even know when the auction ended, I was so far into my own thoughts. Applause and cheering finally broke through my mind, drawing me back to the present. I didn’t know why exactly they were cheering, though.

Quinn's presence disappeared from my side for a moment, and then her voice rang clear over the din of the crowd. “Well, that’s all for the auction. Will the winners come forward to claim their prizes? The dance floor will be back open in a few moments. Get yourselves a drink and some desserts, and thank you so much again for coming tonight and spending your time with us.”

I could sense movement all around me as people went back to conversing with one another.

“You okay?” Quinn asked, her tone as gentle as the soft hand she placed on my arm.

I opened my mouth to respond when I heard a voice drawing near. “Well, damn…I didn’t know you painted too, man.”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat and turned in the direction of Reid’s familiar, lighthearted tone. Holding my hand out, I said, “Reid.”

His handshake was firm, but he went even further and pulled me into a rough embrace. “It’s been too long, man.”

I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I didn’t know what to say. So many different things swirled around in my mind, but when I tried to get them out, they just wouldn’t come. “Um…” I cleared my throat. “It has. Thank you for comin’...” I pulled out of his embrace and reached for Quinn. She was there in an instant. “Uh, this is, well, this is my girl, Quinn. Quinn, this is uh…this is Reid Wilson.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Reid,” she said back sweetly.

“This is a beautiful event you put on.”

“Thank you.” Quinn’s name was called and she sighed. “Excuse me really quick. Walker needs my help.” She brushed a soft kiss to my cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

My body mourned the loss of her warmth, and I found myself wishing I’d gone with her. Shame hung like a shroud around me at the thought of facing Reid.

“She’s beautiful, man.” A sense of awe coated Reid’s tone. “I always figured you’d settle down at some point. She seems good for ya.”

“Thanks. She’s really something. I’m lucky to have her.”

We fell into stilted silence for a moment, the weight of what I needed to say hanging like a storm cloud above me.

“Look, man,” I began, “I’m sorry for—”

“Hux, you don’t have to apologize.”

I held out a hand. “No, I do.” I swallowed past the lump of guilt in my throat. “I do. I was an asshole to you. I was bitter, broken, and I fuckin’ hated everythin’ about my life. And I wanted to hate you too,” I croaked out, my words breaking a bit at the end. “You represented everythin’ I wanted, but didn’t have anymore. And you always came around, you were always there for me, always tryin’ to make me feel better. And I just…” Blowing out a breath, I shrugged and hung my head. “I’m sorry.”

Reid’s grip on my shoulder was firm. “I appreciate it, but I’d probably react the same way if I were in your position. I don’t blame you pushin’ me away. I didn’t stop comin’ because I was upset with you or anythin’ like that. I stayed away because I knew that’s what you needed.” He gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “You’re always gonna be my best friend.”

My throat squeezed shut tight, and unshed tears stung my eyes. Fuck, the last thing I wanted or needed, for that matter, was people to see me getting all sappy and shit.

I cleared my throat and clapped him on the shoulder before pulling him into a hug. “Thanks, man,” I whispered, before pulling away. “So, uh…how’ve you been?”

“Good. I’ve been good. Got signed with a Pbr team this year.”

“Well damn,” I scoffed. I remembered one of our last conversations before he’d stopped coming around. He’d been talking about wanting to get onto one of them. “Which team you ridin’ for?”

“The Twisters. They’re new. Based outta Oklahoma.”

“You livin’ there now?”

“Fuck, no. I mean, at least not full-time. I go there to train and then go on tour with them, but I always come back home.”

I nodded. “That’s awesome, man. I’m happy for you.”

“When are you gonna ride again?” he asked me.

With a shrug, I blew out a breath and said, “I’m not sure. I gotta get back in shape first. Talk to someone and figure out how to get me on a bull. I want it to be somewhere big. Somewhere loud. I want it to feel as real as possible.”

I could practically feel the excitement coming off of Reid as he said, “Let me talk to my team manager. He’s a good guy, and I bet he could get us some answers.”

I couldn’t stop the smile spreading across my mouth.

“Reid Wilson! Is that you?” Mama’s voice rose over the commotion of the party.

Reid chuckled beside me. “Hi, Miss Dotty. You’re lookin’ beautiful as ever.”

“How’re ya doin, sweetheart?” she asked, hijacking the conversation.

“Doin’ good. Just, um…wait, is that…” His voice filled with disbelief. “Is that Walker?”

Walker laughed somewhere off to my left, the sound getting louder with the footfalls of her boots against the ground. “Hi, Reid.”

Was I hearing things, or did he sound a bit breathless as he said, “Well, damn. You’re all grown up.”

I didn’t have time to dwell on it further as the familiar scent of lemongrass and vanilla drifted on the breeze followed by a soft, lyrical voice that made my heart hammer in my chest. “Sorry about that. I’m back.”

I reached out for Quinn, drawing her against my side to press a kiss to the top of her head.

It was crazy how quickly things could change. I was no stranger to that, and yet it still amazed me that the tables could turn, the winds could shift at the drop of a hat.

A few weeks ago, I hated my life, and now…well, now I was on cloud nine.

None of this would have been possible without her.