All I See Is You

45. Open The Gate

Hux

E ight seconds .

All I needed was eight. Damn. Seconds.

I’d forgotten how loud it was down in the thick of all the action. The other contestants shouting orders and cheers and words of encouragement to those listening. The roar of the crowd and the thumping beat of the music. The bulls thrashing against the pipe-stall. The smack of the gate as it slammed open.

I could see everything in my mind. I’d been to this arena before. Ridden here. The setup was always the same.

Rolling out my neck, I gripped the collar of my Kevlar vest like my life depended on it while I tried to focus.

You got this. Breathe. You got this.

A wave of déjà vu overwhelmed me so thoroughly I struggled to suck down enough air in my lungs to keep from passing out. Doubt clawed for purchase in my chest. Was I really going to do this? Was I really going to risk my life, my relationship, my dream with my future wife for just eight damn seconds?

But this was so much more than eight seconds.

It was a defining moment. A final ride. A death of an era.

It was my one shot to face my fear, sit on its back, and ride it one last time.

I’d demanded they let me ride Lights Out—who only had three scored rides on him since I last rode him. In some weird, cosmic way, him and I were connected in all this. He’d been what I thought was the end of my career once before. It felt fitting to end it all on his back.

A hard smack to my shoulder startled me from my thoughts. I fought back a cringe and gritted my teeth, hating that I would likely never get used to some things now that I couldn’t see.

“You ready?” Reid asked.

I chewed on my bottom lip a moment, sucked in a deep breath through my nose, and blew out slowly, letting all of my worries and fears out with it. “Yeah,” I nodded.

I could sense the pride in his tone, in the way he gripped my shoulder. “I just gotta say, I’ve been waitin’ for the day to do this again. Us here, together. I’m glad I get to be here for this. You’re makin’ history, Hux.”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat and nodded, gripping his shoulder right back. “Thanks, man.”

We shared a moment of quiet, and then he said, “Whenever you’re ready.”

My nerves sloshed through me like an angry sea as he helped guide me to the chute. My legs felt wobbly, my hands trembled as I climbed over the pipe-stall and slid onto the bull’s back. I tried to force air into my lungs as I settled myself, noting the twitch of Lights Out’s muscles as he tensed and shifted beneath me.

I fumbled with the bull rope, but Reid and a few others were there to help me. All of them offering words of support and encouragement.

“You got this.”

“Come on, man. Ride that sonofabitch.”

“You’re a fuckin’ legend, dude.”

Forcing air into my lungs in slow, deep breaths, I let the world wash away. For once, I was grateful for the darkness. I focused on it, urging the sounds of the arena to fade. One by one, it all left me, until all that was left was the feel of the bull beneath me and the sound of his fast labored breath. My heartbeat danced to the same pace as it.

I’d never been too religious, that was Mama’s thing, but I’d be a fool not to send up a silent prayer to the big man upstairs.

Please let me get back to her.

A rush of warmth that reminded me of her light, loving presence trickled through my veins and determination replaced the fear. Her words echoed through my mind. “Go ride that bull. Face your fears, Huxson Lane. Then come back to me. We got a wedding to plan.”

With a final exhale, I nodded.

I was ready.

The gate slamming open sounded like the boom of a cannon. Lights Out lurched beneath me, and I squeezed my hand tighter around the bull rope. Each buck and twist held the power of a fucking hurricane in it, ripping the air from my lungs while I clung to the bull’s back. My arm screamed in protest with the movements, but I wasn’t about to let up or let go. I knew that any second now, he’d pull out that move I was all too familiar with, and I’d be damned if I fell for that shit again. Holding the rope tighter, spurring him onward, I rode Lights Out like my life depended on it.

It only spanned seconds, but it might as well have been a lifetime. A lifetime of just me and him. Our movements, our breaths becoming one.

The buzzer cut through the heavy silence in my mind, just as he lurched himself forward like a tsunami crashing against the shore. But I rode the wave, disentangling myself from the bull rope, and all but jumped from his back, hoping, praying I didn’t land on my head or break my damn neck.

I had a girl to marry after all.

Despite the tons and tons of dirt they used to fill the arena, it still hurt like hell when I landed on my side, my arm caught beneath me. Pain erupted in my wrist, and even amidst the chaos, I didn’t miss the pop it made. Well, at least I wasn’t dead.

I hopped up, hoping like hell that the rodeo clowns kept Lights Out away from me. I had no fucking clue where I was in the arena. Was the bull chute behind me? Ahead of me? Left or right? Where the hell was the bull?

“Here! Here, Hux!” Reid’s voice was nearly drowned out by the roar of the crowd and the music. But clutching my broken wrist, I hurried toward the voice.

A moment later, a rough hand grasped me by the shoulder, Reid's familiar voice in my ear. “You’re good, man. He ain’t gonna getcha.”

I stopped in the middle of the arena, all of the adrenaline washing away like a receding tide. In its place was a sense of accomplishment, pride. With a huff, I struggled to pull the helmet I’d worn off—a difficult feat with my wrist screaming in pain. I dropped the helmet, and with a deep, shaking breath I turned my unseeing gaze skyward.

I’d done it.

Moisture slid down my cheeks and a laugh escaped me.

“Thank you,” I whispered to the sky.

I’d never know why life happened the way it did. But I was thankful for this moment. For this opportunity. For this chance to end things on my own.

I was more than a two time World Champion bull rider. I was more than a cowboy. I was a survivor. I was a son and a brother. I was the owner of a ranch and a project that gave me a purpose. And I was the lucky guy who got to love and marry the most amazing woman in the fucking world.

I was Huxson Lane, and I was lucky as hell to be alive.