All My Broken Pieces (FindingLight #2)

Chapter 1

Fallon

Present day

Ohmygod she’s gorgeous.

I can feel tears pricking behind my eyes as I watch my best friend walk down the aisle. The long fluffy dress accentuates her beautiful curves. Curves I would kill to have. The bodice of her dress dips low between her full breasts, forming a sweetheart neckline. Her long auburn, perfectly curled hair drapes over her bare shoulders.

I bite my lip as I study her.

The first time I laid my eyes on Ava, my heart stopped. She was equal parts beautiful and…awkward. Just like me.

My lips twitch at the memory of our first encounter and the ball of nerves I was. I almost didn’t acknowledge her existence again after that, too embarrassed by my whole thing . But I’m so fucking glad I did it anyway.

My eyes drift over the crowd watching my best friend’s descent down the aisle. I scan over the faces until I find the one I’m looking for. Until I find her .

Arriana is already watching me, her gaze running hungrily down my body. My eyes widen when they meet hers, bringing a smirk to her face as she slowly licks her lips.

Fuck me.

I fiddle with my glasses, needing something to distract me from the heat blooming low in my pelvis.

Even though it’s been two years since we met, I still get butterflies every time she looks at me like that. Like she wants to eat me up. My very own big bad wolf.

A shy smile covers my face at the thought, straining as my cheeks bloom. A mental image of just how my wolf likes to eat flashes into my mind.

So not the time.

I mentally shake myself and return my attention to Ava. Before I can look away, I catch Arriana throw me a wink, as if she can read exactly where my mind is at. I shudder and quickly turn my head away.

This is going to be a long night.

I’m so beyond ecstatic for Ava and her man, but if I’m honest, all I want right now is to meet Arriana somewhere and beg her to tongue fuck me until I’m screaming.

Shifting my thighs against the growing pressure, I glance to my left. Killian stands next to the officiant, his eyes glistening with unshed tears and genuine adoration as he watches his bride. His fingers twitch like he’s having to force himself to remain in place.

My smile widens at the sight. I’m so happy they have each other. Even though it took some shit to get here, the two are made for one another.

My eyes drift back to Arriana, the thought crossing my mind again. Like it does so often.

Are we meant for each other?

Before I can get too lost in the whirlwind of my anxiety, I return my focus to Ava and Killian as Ava comes to a stop before him.

“Hey, firecracker.” Killian murmurs, brushing his fingers down her cheek. He leans in to whisper something in her ear, making her shiver. Chuckling, he pulls back and holds out his elbow, escorting her to a stop before the officiant.

Clearing his throat, the man looks over the crowd. “Ladies and gentleman,” He starts, his voice booming in the large church. “Please take your seats.” As one, everyone sits down in the pews.

The officiant proceeds with the ceremony, but I don’t hear a word he says. My focus is on the way Ava and Killian are watching each other, the love shining in their glistening eyes. I gulp, trying to blink back my own tears.

I want that.

As the thought slips through, I find myself reminded of all the ones that have come up throughout the whole process leading up to the wedding. Thoughts that grow louder as the familiar church setting only serves to give them strength. Reminders that, while Ava and Killian can have this beautiful moment together, I can’t. Not really. Not in the way I would want.

“It’s just a phase.”

My mom’s words run through my mind.

“You’ll grow out of it. Settle down with a nice man.”

I bite my cheek, fighting back the emotions.

“Girls aren’t made to be with other girls. Man and woman. That’s what is right. Now get those thoughts out of your head.”

I can feel Arriana’s eyes on me, but I don’t look at her. I can’t look at her.

“You may kiss the bride.” The words float through my subconscious and I bring myself back to the present. My heart aches once again as I watch my best friend and her new husband lean into each other, my heart aches once again. I ignore it and clap wildly, letting the tears flow down my face.

People cry at weddings all the time.

Ava and Killian pull apart, panting for breath as they resist the urge to devour one another. A watery laugh bubbles from my chest, drawing their attention to me. Ava smiles, throwing me a wink.

Love you. I mouth at her. Her smile widens as she mouths the same back. Some of the heaviness on my chest lifts. This is her day, and I’m going to celebrate damnit.

“Hey, gorgeous.” Arms slip around my waist from behind. I lean back into Arriana’s embrace, releasing a sigh at her comforting touch. “Your poor friend.” She whispers, nuzzling my neck.

I dart my gaze around the room in search of Ava, Arriana’s cryptic words sending my thoughts into overdrive.

Does she know something? Did Killian do something stupid again?

My eyes narrow at said man, flashing back to the pain he had caused Ava. When she finally broke down several months after it had happened and told me about his punishment , I wanted to rip his head clean off his shoulders. A pure hatred like I’ve never known filled me at her confession.

“It’s okay, babe.” Ava consoles me, like somehow I’m the one who needs it.

I shake my head, looking around for the asshole. “No. It’s not.”

“Fallon.” She pleads, grabbing my hands. “He’s more than made up for it, please trust me.” I glare at our connection, trying to breathe past the rage. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” She mumbles, releasing my hands and tossing back the rest of her drink.

Slowly blowing out my breath, I grab her face between my hands. “Ava. You can tell me anything. ” She blinks at me, her eyes filling with unshed tears. Smiling to try to alleviate some of her concern, I release her face and place my hands on my hips. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to rip his balls off though.”

She stares at me for several beats before bursting into laughter.

My mind returns to the present, watching the two with hawk eyes.

If he did something again, I will chop off his balls.

Chuckling at my furious state, Arriana runs her hands down my body. “I love when you get all protective.” She murmurs, placing a kiss on my throat. “No need for the claws though, mi vida .”

I shiver at the term, still having just as strong of an effect on me now as the first time she used it.

“I simply meant that you are the most exquisite creature in this whole place.” She hums on a breath as she nuzzles my neck. Her hot breath against my skin has a shiver running down my spine.

I suck in a breath when she flicks out her tongue. The sensation of her subtly licking up my throat has me clutching the champagne flute in my hand.

“No offense to the lovebirds,” Arriana whispers, her lips brushing against my skin. “But you are the star tonight.”

I gasp as her fingers drift across my hip, brushing over the spot between my legs that is screaming for attention. “Ar-Arriana, we can’t.” My protest is barely a whisper, the need building inside so distracting I can hardly think of the words to stop her.

“Oh baby,” She chuckles, brushing my hair back and running her nose along my jaw. “We can and we will.”

Before I can protest again, she releases her hold on me, pulling an involuntary whimper from my throat at the sudden loss. Her husky laugh fills my ears, sending a thrill down my spine.

A smirk lifts her lips as she notices my shudder. The devilish look in her eyes has my stomach flipping and I try to subtly shift my legs to alleviate some of the growing pressure. “Here, let me help you.” Arriana slips her hand into mine, leading me through the throng of guests.

My heart beats erratically in my chest as we cross the room. I can imagine just what Arriana has in mind, and I want nothing more than to beg her to do just that. But as we pass by the officiant, who stayed long enough to snag some food, a familiar wave of guilt and shame wells up.

This is wrong.

Before I can get too lost in the thought, Arriana drags me into the bathroom. She flicks the lock shut behind her before turning toward me, her eyes on fire as she slowly walks us across the tiled room. My fluttering heart stops when my hips bump against the sink counter, the cool surface sending a thrill down my spine as the thin fabric of my dress does little to guard against the chill.

Arriana gently takes the glass still clutched in my hand, her fingers brushing against my skin. A jolt sparks at our connection, my oversensitized nerve endings lighting on fire at her gentle touch. Reaching behind me, she sets the champagne flute down.

I gulp as her chest brushes against mine with the movement, the sensation nearly too much. A persistent nagging tries to break past my overwhelming need, a reminder of where we are and what this moment promises to be.

My eyes dart toward the door, needing the confirmation that it’s locked. The thrill of possibly being caught is at war with the shame I feel at my excitement.

We shouldn’t.

Before I can voice my defeated thought out loud, I glance back at Arriana and find the words get caught in my throat.

Her heated gaze trails down my body, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth. “ Te necesito, mi vida. ” She murmurs, her voice almost pained.

I don’t know Spanish, not really. But the way she says the words, I don’t need to. Because I know. And something about the desperation in her tone has the guilt fading away.

“Please.” I beg, reaching for her as I give in to my own carnal desires.

In an instant she’s on me, pushing my hips back against the counter, her mouth slamming against mine. We groan into each other, a desperate need funneling into the shared connection.

Arriana breaks the kiss, trailing her lips down my neck and chest. Hovering over my breast, she takes my pebbled nipple in her mouth, biting down hard over the fabric. I gasp, lifting my hips into her. “Please.” I beg again, lost in the sensation of her hot breath and warm tongue gliding across my covered chest.

I bite back the disappointed noise as she sinks to her knees, the momentary loss of connection almost too much. My disappointment is quickly morphed into nervous anticipation as she grips the hem of my dress, slowly pushing the fabric up to my waist.

“Baby,” She groans, her eyes hyper focused on the space between my thighs. “You’re not wearing any underwear.”

I can’t stop the smirk that lifts my lips at her strangled words. Despite my earlier protests, I might have gone commando on purpose, hoping for a little fun later.

Glancing up at me, Arriana’s eyes are on fire with the desire burning within her. “Fuck, you’re going to be the death of me, mi vida. ” On the last word, she leans forward and flicks her tongue on my clit.

I cry out, digging my fingers into her hair as she proceeds to devour my pussy.

This is what I needed.

My hips buck against her face, seeking more, seeking everything she’ll give me. She chuckles against me, the vibrations sending a jolt to my core. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” She hums, shifting the dress to one hand. Sliding her free hand down, she pushes a finger inside of my aching pussy.

I groan loudly as her finger slowly slides inside, the feeling both too much and not enough. “More.” I whimper, rotating my hips.

Fueled by my desperation, she adds another finger, curling the digits until she finds that spot . The one that has me seeing stars. I bite down on my lip, trying to stifle the cries of pleasure she is drawing out with each flick of her tongue and pump of her fingers.

She shifts her eyes up to mine and I get lost in the chestnut orbs staring at me with something I can’t accept. Something I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to accept.

Squeezing my eyes shut to push off the unwanted thoughts, I focus on the feeling of her worshiping my body. I clear my mind of every thought and allow the sensations to take over.

“That’s it, baby.”

A moan slips through my lips at her praise. Her loving attention bringing me closer and closer to the release I so desperately crave.

“Come for me.”

My body tenses at her whispered command, only a few more strokes of her fingers needed before I cascade over the edge. I shudder through the orgasm, clinging to her as the sensations wrack my body. My heart aches as the last of the trembles stop, my mind replaying the look in her eyes as she stared up at me from her knees.

This isn’t fair to her.

I try to push aside the thought, not wanting to ruin this moment.

Movement pulls me from my thoughts and I blink my eyes open to see Arriana gently placing a soft kiss on my hip before pushing to her feet. She pulls her fingers from me in the same motion, and I find myself riveted by the sight of her slowly pushing the same fingers into her mouth. My eyes widen, another wave of desire welling up at the groan she releases at the flavor of me .

“Exquisite.” She hums, leaning forward to capture my lips with hers. “So fucking perfect.”

Arriana readjusts my dress, effectively hiding away what we had just done behind the lush fabric. After a quick inspection, she takes my hand in hers and turns to leave.

“Wait.” I call, planting my feet. “What about you?”

Arriana stops, turning back to me and brushing my hair back. “I’m fine, this was about you . ” Leaning close, she whispers in my ear, “I’ll get my fun tonight back at home.”

My thighs shift at the promise of just what kind of fun she has in mind. Swallowing down the excited anticipation, I bob my head and wordlessly follow her out.

Home.

The word repeats in my head the rest of the night, each time our eyes meet or she brushes her fingers over my body.

She feels like home.

I shake my head, wishing I could keep her, keep this little fairytale we have going.

“It’s just a phase.”

“It’s not real. You’ll find a decent man one day and settle down.”

Each whispered memory drags me down from the high of our shared moment. The cold splash of reality a painful reminder of who I am, who I’m destined to be.

It’s not real. It can’t be.

My eyes drift to Ava and Killian once more.

One day I’ll have to do that, have that.

Glancing at Arriana out of the corner of my eye, I chew on my bottom lip.

This isn’t real. I can’t be in love with her. It’s just lust.

With my heart breaking, I down glass after glass of bubbling alcohol, praying it will dampen the suffocating emotions.

“It’s just a phase.”