All My Broken Pieces (FindingLight #2)

Chapter 19

Fallon

I shouldn’t be this happy. It’s really fucked up the amount of enjoyment I got out of watching Arriana break Scarlett’s nose. I felt like a kid on Christmas Day.

It wasn’t necessarily the actual broken nose that I loved so much, even though that was also satisfying. No, it was seeing her stand up for me. Something I’ve witnessed once before, but that memory is filled with too many negative ones to really give me the same satisfaction I know this one will.

A chill runs through my body as the wind whips around us, blowing my hair into my face. My knees ache from the hard concrete and my right eye throbs, a painful reminder of the hell I’ve found myself in.

I’m not getting out of here.

Tears stream down my cheeks at the thought, the hopelessness I’ve been fighting back creeping up once again.

“Glad you could make it.” The evil man’s voice rings out moments before he sighs and grips my hair. I can’t stop the pained cry that sounds as he yanks my head back.

“Don’t touch her.” My eyes widen, darting toward the voice.

Arriana.

My heart thunders in my chest, drowning out everything around us.

She’s here.

Another sharp tug on my head has me crying out again. “Ple-please just let me go.” I beg.

Arriana takes a half-step toward me, trying to sooth me with her words. Making promises I don’t know if she can keep. “It’s okay, baby. You’re gonna be okay.”

I shake my head, trying to clear the memory before it brings about worse ones. Ones that still feature in my nightmares.

“Baby, are you alright?” Arriana’s concerned question pulls my attention back to her.

I blink several times, pushing away the emotions threatening to overwhelm me. Squaring my shoulders, I tip my chin. “Yeah, I just…let’s go see Hudson.” I chicken out, not wanting to get into all of it right now. The need to hold onto this bubble of happiness we’ve found amidst the chaos of everything else fuels my decision to swallow my feelings.

Peeking at Arriana out of the corner of my eye, I can feel the nerves build up, getting trapped in my throat and making it hard to swallow. I know I’m not going to be able to hold in all the emotions, but I don’t want to ruin what I’ve just gotten back.

I’m going to need a girls night with Ava. And soon.

At the thought, I pull out my phone as we make our way into the hospital.

Me

Wine and Bachelor soon?

Bestie *double pink heart emoji*

Yessss. Tomorrow?

My eyes flick to Arriana as I chew on my lip. A gnawing guilt churns my stomach as I turn to my friend instead of her. It’s not that I think she would have an issue in me seeking the comfort of my friend, but rather that I don’t want her to think I’m distancing myself again. Especially not after we just got to a decent place.

Sensing my gaze, Arriana glances at me with a quirk of her eyebrow. “What is it, mi vida ?”

I glance at my phone and back again. “Um, so this is totally not related to all the stuff that just happened because that was hot. Like it shouldn’t have been, but it totally was.” I take a deep breath, wishing I could talk like a normal person, but when I get nervous it’s like I lose complete control over my brain and my mouth just kinda spews everything.

Arriana chuckles, brushing her fingers down my neck. “Tell me what’s going on.” Her eyes are twinkling with humor at my word vomit and it helps alleviate some of the anxiety.

“I kinda need to talk to Ava.” My voice trails off as Arriana’s expression falls.

She quickly recovers, masking whatever reaction she had and smiles at me. “Whatever you need.” Leaning over, she presses a soft kiss to my forehead.

My heart blooms at her easy acceptance, even if she’s not thrilled by it, she wants me to be happy. To have what I need. “I love you.” I whisper, losing myself in her dark eyes.

“I love you too.” She breathes, brushing my hair behind my ear. “So fucking much. Te amo, mi vida .”

I smile at her, my heart beating wildly as I enjoy this moment. Having her back in my life once more. And despite everything else happening, I find I’m happier than I have been in a long time.

I stifle the noise that threatens to escape at the sight of Hudson.

His dirty blonde hair, closer to a light brown than blonde, is a disheveled mess on top of his head. His face is covered in bruises and cuts, most of which still look painful despite the worst of them being covered in gauze and bandaging. His left arm is covered in a cast along with his left leg.

The part that looks the worst isn’t the physical injuries, it’s the emptiness in his pale blue eyes. Like his soul has checked out and left behind the empty shell of a man before me.

My mom is sitting in a chair beside his bed, chirping on about some gossip. She’s so wrapped up in her story she doesn’t notice our entrance.

Ignoring her, I walk up to Hudson, taking his unwrapped hand in mine. “Hey.” I whisper, waiting for him to turn to me. My smile strains at the unfocused look in his eyes.

“Hey.” He mumbles, his voice hoarse from the anesthesia.

My eyes tighten at the sound. Noticing a sheen of sweat on his forehead, I look around for something to dab it away. Coming up with nothing, I pull down the sleeve of my shirt, holding the fabric in my fist as I dab my wrist on his skin. “Have they given you anything for it?” I ask, leaning forward to whisper the question in his ear.

Hudson shakes his head, his face cringing at the movement. “No, they tried, but…” His eyes shift to where our mom and Arriana are having a hushed conversation in the corner of the room. My chest aches at the realization Arriana did that for me, she pulled my mom away so I could have this moment with my brother.

Shifting his focus back to me, Hudson lowers his voice further as he continues, “Mom threw a fit about it when the nurse tried, and she just won’t leave .”

My teeth grind. How dare this woman continue to cause pain to her own children, all because of some archaic beliefs. “You’re an adult now.” I remind him, my heart breaking at his flinch from my words. “She can’t make choices for you anymore.”

He shakes his head, a haunted look on his face. “That’s just it. I know that, but I can’t…” His voice trails off.

My heart spasms, knowing what he means without him having to voice the words. Turning my attention to the two women in room, I call out, “Hey, Arriana?” She looks at me curiously. “I’m kind of hungry, would you be able to get us some food?” I look pointedly between her, my mom, and the door, hoping she’ll get the hint.

And she does. Because that’s how she is.

“Of course, b-” Catching herself, she clears her throat. “Fallon.” Turning her attention toward my mother, Arriana offers a blinding smile. “Would you care to join me…?” Her sentence hangs, an invitation for my mom to offer her name.

“Penelope. But call me Mrs. Huxley.” My mom replies, watching Arriana with barely concealed suspicion.

“Of course, Mrs. Huxley.” Arriana gestures toward the door, not missing a beat. “Would you join me?”

My mom looks over at us, her forehead creasing. “I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t leave Hudson…”

“It’s okay, Mom.” I cut in. “I’ll be here with him.”

She narrows her eyes before sighing. “Okay. I could use a break from this place anyway.” Her nose ticks up as she looks around the hospital room. As they leave the atmosphere physically changes with the woman, who gave birth to us but could never be classified as motherly outside of that fact, exiting the room.

Turning my attention back to Hudson, I look around until I locate the call button. Giving it a couple minutes to ensure they’re gone, I push the button and wait. A few moments later a tired voice filters through the speaker. “Everything okay in there?” The nurse asks, an anxious edge to her tone no doubt due to my lovely mother.

“Hi, yes. Well, no. Can we get some of the meds to help my brother with his come down?” I ask, keeping an eye on him. His eyes tighten but he doesn’t otherwise react, staring off into the distance again.

The nurse’s voice comes through again, softer this time. “Let me talk to the doctor.”

I press the button once more. “Thank you. And, if you could hurry before…” I trail off, not wanting to air our dirty laundry for the hospital staff but not sure what else to say.

Her quiet laugh sounds through the speaker, “Yes. I know exactly what you mean. I’ll put a rush order on the request.”

A smile spreads on my face at the response, grateful to have someone in our corner. Looking back at Hudson, my grin fades, worry bleeding through at his continued checked out state. “Hud?” I say softly, brushing his hair back from his face. He rolls his eyes in my direction but doesn’t respond otherwise. “Are you okay?” I don’t know how else to ask the burning questions inside of me.

Why he got on that bike? What’s going on in his life that he still feels the need to destroy his body with the harmful chemicals? Why he had reached out? Why he looks so goddamn empty ?

He blinks at me and sighs. “No, Cher, I don’t think I am.”

My breath catches at the nickname. One we haven’t used in years. “Do you wanna talk about it, Egg?” Hudson’s lips tick up at his nickname.

Cher for cherries. Egg for eggplant. It was a silly little secret we shared before things went sideways, the nicknames a reflection of our preferences. Before they sent him away and he came back a shell of who he was before.

Hudson opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by a quiet knock on the door. We turn toward the sound, watching as someone wearing a white lab coat walks into the room. I excuse myself to give Hudson some privacy to speak with his doctor alone.

My mind races as I lean back against the wall outside of Hudson’s room. Something about the look on his face, it reminded me of Ava’s after she…I shake my head, scoffing at the idea. What are the chances I almost lost two people to that? Even still, a small nagging voice in the back of my mind doesn’t let up on the thought.

Whatever happened, I’m going to be here for him. I’m not going to let him go through this alone. Not anymore.