All My Broken Pieces (FindingLight #2)

Chapter 21

Fallon

“Ugh, he’s so hot .” Ava groans, shoving a small handful of popcorn into her mouth, her eyes glued to the TV screen.

I laugh, taking my own handful of buttery goodness. Popping one kernel in at a time, I admire the man candy that’s the star this season of the Bachelor. While I like to watch more for his counterparts, I can appreciate a fine looking man from an outsider perspective.

Ava and I bonded over our love of reality TV before I brought her into my smut addiction. Now we enjoy both pastimes together.

“He is.” I agree, flopping back on the couch. I’m grateful Killian and Arriana had somewhere to be tonight because I really needed some alone time with Ava.

“Mmhmm.” Ava hums, her hand reaching blindly for her wine glass. “Oh fuck!” She gasps, watching in horror as the red wine tips and spills all over the hardwood. Leaping up from her seat, she runs to the kitchen, grabbing an armful of towels from a drawer before sprinting back toward the spill. “Shit. Shit . Please don’t stain.”

I watch as she frantically soaks up the red liquid, definitely staining the towels. A laugh bubbles up from my chest, earning me a sharp glare from my friend. I hold up my hands in surrender, trying to force back the giggles.

Ava narrows her eyes at me before cursing again and resuming her attempts at cleaning. “It’s not funny.” She grumbles, effectively spreading the liquid further with her hurried movements.

“I think you’re making it worse.” I chuckle, tossing a popcorn kernel into my mouth and munching as I split my focus between her and the TV.

Sighing, she throws her hands up in the air and sits back on her heels. “If you’re such a fucking expert then you deal with it.” She snaps. My eyes widen at her outburst.

Her breaths come in short pants before her own eyes widen slightly and she closes them. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she whispers something too quiet for me to hear before her breathing begins to even out.

I watch her curiously, tilting my head. I can only assume she’s trying to calm herself down, but I can’t understand why she had this level of freakout to begin with. “Oh shit.” I breathe, realization dawning on me. “God, I’m such an idiot. Is this one of your things?”

Ava nods her head, continuing to focus on calming herself.

“I’m sorry, babe.” I murmur, slipping off the couch to join her on the floor. Taking one of the unused towels, I begin to mop up the wine.

Ava takes several more minutes before she blows out a heavy breath and joins me in the clean up. “I never realized how often I overreacted to things before I started therapy and had to really look at my life.” She explains, pushing to her feet and scooping up the soiled towels. “Usually it’s triggered by something.” She shrugs, turning to the hall.

When she returns to the living area and snatches up her now empty wine glass to refill it, I finally respond. “Wanna talk about it?” I take my seat on the couch again, curling my legs underneath me.

Ava pauses her steps, her shoulders tensing before slumping once more. “My mom used to scream at me if I made a mess as a kid.” She shrugs again, moving to pour more wine into her glass. Taking a sip of it, she looks over at me. “Guess I just reacted out of habit. Sorry.”

My heart breaks for the little girl Ava was. The little girl who should have been shown love, but was instead subjected to verbal and emotional abuse. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.” I assure her. “I love you. All of you .” Patting the seat beside me, I offer her a smile. “Now, do you wanna come lose ourselves in Tucker and all his delicious muscles?” I wink at her, my smile widening at the watery laugh she lets out.

“Fuck yeah.” Ava giggles, rushing back over to the couch and flopping down next to me, her earlier outburst forgotten.

“I don’t know, I just feel like there’s something more going on.”

We’re now curled up with mugs of hot cocoa, having replaced our wine with something a little more comforting as we talk. I find myself grateful to have this moment with her, but also dreading voicing my concerns out loud.

“Have you asked him about it?” Ava asks, sipping on her cocoa.

I nod my head, watching the small marshmallows slowly melt into the chocolate. “Yeah, he said he wasn’t okay and was going to say more but never got the chance.”

“Mmm.” She hums.

I wait for her to elaborate, but she doesn’t. “Mmm?” I repeat, quirking an eyebrow at her. “That’s really all you’ve got?” Ava shrugs at me, her lips ticking up in a smirk as she tries to hide behind her mug. “So helpful. Thank you.” I sigh dramatically.

Ava giggles, feeling the effect of the bottle and a half of wine we polished off together. “Look, I never said I was some great advice giving person or anything.” She laughs harder at the look on my face.

“I know that, but…I really could use a little more.” I try to hide the desperation in my voice, but fail.

Ava studies me before setting her drink down and clasping her hands in front of her. “Okay. Sorry, Fal. Let’s look at this again. So, your brother had a real shitty ass childhood, then found some…unhealthy ways to cope, and now he’s in the hospital as a result.” I nod my head solemnly, somehow hearing the words summarized makes them sound both not as bad and infinitely worse all at once. “Okay.” She says slowly, rubbing her chin. “And you’re worried there’s more to the story?”

I nod again, fidgeting with my glasses. “Yeah. He looked at me like,” Biting my cheek, I glance up at her, feeling terrible for bringing it up but needing someone to know. Someone who might understand. “He looked like you did. You know, after .”

Ava looks at me confused for a moment before realization sets in. “Oh fuck.” She breathes. My head bobs once more, my shoulders slumping. “ Fuck . That’s really not…” Running her hand through her hair, Ava’s eyes fill with a pained understanding. “Oh Fallon, I’m so sorry.”

I don’t realize I’m crying until a teardrop falls into my cocoa with a splash. “Yeah, it’s whatever.” I mumble, averting my gaze from her concerned one. “I just don’t know what to do, you know? Like, how do I help him?” My heart aches as I long to make this better, to do something .

“Sometimes all you can do is be there for him.” She reassures me, reaching forward to take one of my hands in hers. “Just know, whatever he says, whatever happens, none of this is on you.”

I bite my cheek harder, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth as I break the skin.

“Hey.” Ava directs my attention back to her, waiting for me to meet her gaze before continuing. “ It’s not your fault .” Her eyes are filled with tears, threatening to overflow at her insistent words. Her and I both know she’s not just talking about Hudson in this moment, and it’s almost too much.

My mouth opens and closes silently, unsure how to respond because, yeah, I did blame myself. A part of me still does.

I should have known.

What if Killian hadn’t gotten there in time?

What if…

I shake my head, pushing aside the familiar thoughts. Ones that often plague me in the worst possible moments.

“Yeah, I know.” I mumble instead of voicing any of the anxieties.

Before the conversation can go any further, the distinct sound of the elevator dinging fills the space. Ava and I meet each other's gaze as we wait for the doors to slide open. When they do, the sounds of a heated argument filter into the room.

“It was fucking reckless and stupid.” Killian growls, stomping inside.

“Yeah, well, how was I supposed to know, old man?” Arriana retorts, huffing as she follows him.

Spinning on his heels, he runs both hands down his face. “We can’t afford this kind of thing to come back on FindingLight.” He sighs, his face showing the weariness he feels.

“You think I don’t know that?” Arriana snaps, throwing her hands in the air. “What about me, huh? What if it comes back on-” Her words cut off when she sees us sitting on the couch, watching them intently. “Oh, hey, baby.” She forces a smile on her face, unable to hide the worry in her eyes.

Glancing at Ava, I find her brows furrowed, a slight frown on her face. I turn my head back to our other halves. “What’s going on?” I ask, unable to push down the uneasiness building inside.

“It’s nothing to worry about.” Arriana reassures me, coming up to place a kiss on my forehead. “You ready to go home?”

I blink at her, trying to keep up with the conversation changes in my buzzed state. “Okay.” I draw out the word, looking between the three in the room as I push to my feet.

After saying goodnight, I follow Arriana into the elevator, trying to keep the panic at bay. It’s not until we enter our apartment before I say anything. “Arriana,” I start, watching her closely as I ask again, “What’s going on?”

She studies me for a moment, her eyes flashing with worry and…fear.

I gulp, not liking the emotion on her. She’s fearless, not whatever this is.

“I fucked up.” She admits, dropping her eyes to the floor. “You don’t know what I do, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

I flinch at the reminder her words bring, my mind flashing back to the last time I was involved in her so-called work .

“What’s such a pretty girl doing with someone like her anyway?” The evil man asks, running his hand down my chest and stomach. I flinch back from his touch, cowering into the wall in hopes he’ll just leave.

It’s a stupid hope.

“Mmm, maybe you just need the right man to remind you what you’re missing out on by being with some other bitch.”

My eyes widen as I take in his meaning. Shaking my head, I curl into myself, tugging at the rope that’s keeping my wrists behind my back. “Don-don’t touch me.” I whisper, trying and failing to make my voice strong.

The man huffs a laugh, his expensive suit and perfectly polished appearance a stark contrast to the monster I’ve met that lies beneath the surface. “You think I would want you?” His laughter grows at the thought, as if he couldn’t imagine a more ridiculous concept. “Sweetheart, I don’t do sloppy seconds to one of my employees.” He runs his eyes down my body, making me shudder under the predatory gaze. “Even ones as exquisite as yourself.”

Much to my relief he pushes to his feet and leaves the room, flicking the light off and closing the door behind him. I’m left in complete darkness, my breathing speeding up as I try to figure out what the fuck is going on.

I shudder, still able to feel the weight of his gaze on me even now. The man who claimed to be her boss, the man who threatened me, kidnapped me, just by association.

Yeah, really don’t want to get involved in that again.

Noticing my reaction, she sighs, running a hand through her hair. “That, that right there is exactly why I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to cause you pain, mi vida .” Looking up at me again, she holds her hand out. “Just come lie with me.” Her words hold a plea that I don’t understand, but I’m too tired and emotionally drained to try to look into it further.

“Okay.” I agree, allowing her to lead me to the bedroom.

She proceeds to carefully undress me before doing the same to herself. Climbing into the bed, she pulls me back against her, nuzzling my neck and placing soft kisses on my skin. “I love you.” She whispers, something about her inflection makes me agitated, but the feeling subsides as she strokes my hair.

She begins to hum, the sound of her voice lulling me into a sense of comfort. Before long, I find myself drifting off to sleep. Comfortable in her arms.