All My Broken Pieces (FindingLight #2)

Chapter 27

Fallon

My phone buzzes, rousing me from my restless slumber.

I haven’t gotten much sleep without Arriana.

It’s not like this is the first time we’ve been apart, but something about this feels so much heavier, like we’re fighting against forces beyond our control that are hell bent on keeping us apart.

Groaning, I slip on my glasses and pick up my phone, blinking at it several times until the screen comes into focus. My brows furrow at the caller ID. Sliding to answer the call, I press the phone to my ear, “Hello?”

“Hey, Cher.” Hudson’s voice filters through the speaker.

At the sound of his tired voice, I’m hit with a pang of guilt. In all the commotion with Arriana, I had completely forgotten my brother.

God, I just keep failing the ones I love.

“Hey, Egg.” I whisper back. “How are you feeling?”

A quiet laugh sounds, breaking as he groans. “Like I got hit by a truck, and then it backed over me to finish the job.”

“I’m so sorry…” I don’t know what else to say. What else can I say?

“Yeah…” Hudson mumbles, his voice trailing off. There is an uncomfortable silence before he clears his throat. “Look, um, I called to ask a favor.” My eyebrows raise in response.

“You need me to do you a favor?” I clarify, unable to hide the incredulous tone in my voice.

“Don’t sound so surprised, sis.” He chuckles. “You don’t give yourself enough credit, you know.” He inhales a sharp breath, cutting off his quiet laughter.

My lips tremble as I try to keep back the well of emotions once more. “What-” It’s my turn to clear my throat as I push past the lump in my throat. “What do you need from me?” There’s a brief moment of awkward silence after my question. I pull the phone away from my ear to make sure we didn’t get disconnected. “Hud?” I try again.

“Can, um, can you come stay with me for a while?” Hudson whispers, a hint of shame in his tone. “I…I need to get clean, I can’t keep doing this . But…I can’t do it alone.”

I sit in silence as I process his words.

He needs me?

My first reaction is to say no, that I need to be here for Arriana. But then I remember the conversation with Ava and Killian, the one that proved there was nothing I can do but sit and wait.

Maybe it would be good to focus on something else, on someone else. Just for a little while.

“Fallon?” Hudson asks, his discomfort evident in his tone. “If it’s too much-”

“I’ll do it.” I cut him off.

There’s a moment of silence before he whispers, “Really?”

A small smile breaks through, the first one I’ve been able to muster since Arriana was taken away. “Really.”

2 1/2 months later

Hudson groans again from his room, setting my teeth on edge. I’m excited that he’s finally exploring himself, but would really like it if he could do it somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Another loud moan sounds from his partner and I can’t take it anymore.

Snatching up my phone and keys, I slip my feet into a pair of boots. I pull on one of my puffy winter jackets and exit the small apartment.

I miss the condo that Arriana and I shared, but Hudson needed me and refused to leave his own place. I’m starting to wish I had put up more of a fight at the time as I now trudge my way through the several inches of snow, my numb fingers trying to move on the screen to open up the ride share app.

Maybe I should go see her.

The thought passes through my mind again as it has multiple times a day since Arriana was arrested. But then I remember her note, the one she gave Andrew for me as a goodbye.

Mi vida,

I’m so sorry to have to tell you this way.

I’m going to have to go away for a while but I’ll

be back. I love you so much and know this has

nothing to do with you or us. I need you to not

come visit me where I’m going, it’s very

important that no one knows

our connection for your safety.

Te amo

I blow out a heavy breath, hunching my shoulders up in an attempt to hide from the bristling chill in the air. The app tells me that my ride will be here in a few minutes so I take the time to warn my friend of my drop in.

Me

911

Bestie *double pink heart emoji*

You okay babe??

Me

Yes. No. Uggggh, Hudson is getting

his freak on and I just can’t listen to

it anymore *crying emoji*

Bestie *double pink heart emoji*

HAHAHAHA go Hudson!

Bestie *double pink heart emoji*

Wanna come over?

Me

Already on my way *hiding

behind hands emoji*

Bestie *double pink heart emoji*

See you soon! *kissy face emoji*

A small smile pulls at my lips as I tuck my phone away. Bringing my frozen hands to my face, I blow on my fingers in an attempt to stave off the bone chilling cold. My mind wanders to my missing other half.

Why did you have to do it?

A familiar sorrow fills me as I’m reminded once again of my part in her arrest. When I found out Scarlett had pressed charges, I went ballistic.

Slamming the door open, I storm into my parents’ house. Because, of course she’d be here, the perfect little suck up cunt.

Voices filter down the hall, signaling my destination.

Stomping down the carpeted hallway, I round the corner and freeze, my eyes traveling over the group of ladies all sitting in a circle. My gaze lands on the books clutched in their hands.

Fuck.

Squaring my shoulders, I ball my hands into fists and will my anger to carry me past the fear clawing at my soul.

“Fallon.” My mom calls, surprise filling her tone. “I wasn’t expecting you.” Glancing around at the other women in the room, a wide smile breaks out on her face. “Are you here to join us for bible study?” My chest tightens at the excitement in her voice.

Shaking my head, I move my gaze to Scarlett, my eyes narrowing at her. “No.” I respond to my mom. Taking a step forward, I raise a hand and point a finger at Scarlett as I snarl, “What the fuck did you do?”

Gasps fill the room at my question, no doubt the self-proclaimed pious women losing their shit at my curse.

“Language, young lady.” My mom snaps.

I ignore her, taking another step toward Scarlett. My fury must be evident in my face as she cowers back at my approach, moving to gently cradle her bandaged nose. My lip pulls back in a sneer.

I wish Arriana had done worse than break her stupid nose.

I’m shocked at the thought, but I can’t ignore the truth in it. This woman, my sister, just stole away the most important person in the world from me.

“You took her from me.” I enunciate each word, closing the distance between us until I’m towering over her.

Scarlett’s eyes are wide with fear, but she pushes past it, glaring at me and pointing at her nose. “She broke my nose. She assaulted me.” Quiet murmuring sounds around us, and my heartbeat thunders as I clench and unclench my fists in an attempt to fight against the anxiety clawing up my throat. “Besides,” Scarlett sneers, pushing upright as she sees my resolve falter. “I did it for you, sis.”

I blink at her, stumbling back half a step. “For me?” I echo.

She pushes to her feet, her eyes traveling over all the women in the room before landing on me. “Oh yes, Fallon. To save you.”

My lungs seize as her words bring back years of painful memories. Of pastors and elders, of my parents and their friends, of god-fearing, hate-filled people telling me throughout my life what I want and who I am is wrong . That I need saving.

Scarlett smirks at me, noticing the effect her words have. “Poor thing, so confused.” She croons, reaching a hand out and running it down my hair.

I flinch at her touch, desperately needing to get away from her and her venomous words. I just got my head on straight when it comes to Arriana and me, I can’t have her words poisoning my mind. Not again.

Shaking my head, I back away slowly, carefully avoiding the judgemental gazes of the other women in the room. “You’re-you’re wrong.” I stammer, my voice shaking. “I don’t need saving. I’m-” I take a deep breath and try to make my voice more steady. “I’m just fine the way I am.”

Scarlett’s expression saddens in fake concern. “No, Fallon, you’re not.” I catch the twinkle of hate in her eyes as she proceeds to fuck me up all over again. “That’s the devil talking, sis. Don’t you know homosexuality is a sin?”

I blink away the memory as my ride pulls up to the curb. It’s gotten harder to hold onto my certainty that I made the right choice with Arriana being gone.

“It’s just a phase.”

The familiar words play through my mind, the same ones I’ve heard my whole life.

No. No, that's hate talking.

Climbing into the back seat, I rub my hands up and down my arms, trying to warm myself up. But no matter how much the heater in the car warms my body, it does nothing to fight against the chill in my soul.

The doors slide open and I force a smile on my face as I’m greeted by Ava. “Hey, babe.” She beams, gesturing for me to come in. “You hungry?”

Following behind her to the kitchen, I go to say no but the smell of Chinese food in the air makes my stomach growl.

Chuckling, Ava pulls down another plate, shoving it into my hands. “I’ll take that as a yes. Eat up.” She moves to the opposite side of the island, taking a seat beside Killian. He grumbles something under his breath, earning a swift kick from his wife, if the strained smile on her face and furious look on his are any indicator.

I slowly set the plate down, looking between the two. “No, I’m fine, thank you.” I mumble.

I’m not going to come between them. Not anymore than I already have.

Since Arriana was taken, I’ve spent way too much time here than is fair. When I wasn’t helping Hudson in his recovery or at class, I’ve been here.

“You know what, I forgot I have an early class. I should just…” I turn on my heel and walk toward the elevator, my heart thundering in my chest.

“Wait! Fallon!” Ava calls behind me.

I press the call button for the elevator and smile over my shoulder. “Sorry to bother you both.” The doors slide open as Ava reaches my side.

Before I can step inside, she grips my arm. “Fallon.” She presses, ducking her head to catch my gaze. “You are not a bother. Ever.”

“Sometimes.” Killian grumbles from across the condo, his deep voice carrying across the space.

Ava snaps her head in his direction, her expression furious. Closing her eyes, she breathes heavily through her nose, blowing the air out slowly. “Ignore him.” She sighs, blinking open her eyes. “Please, stay.” Her pleading tone is almost enough to make me listen, but the quiet scoff that sounds from across the room at her insistence makes up my mind.

Shaking my head, I lift up the corner of my lips. “I’ve gotta go.” I pry her hand off my arm and slide into the elevator. My eyes meet hers as I push the button for the lobby. I quickly avert my gaze at the worry I find reflecting back at me.

The doors close and I release a heavy breath. The weight on my chest growing heavier with each floor I put between us.

There’s a reason I haven’t let myself be alone for too long since Arriana was ripped away. A reason I’m trying to ignore.

“You blew off Olivia’s son for her ?” My mom shrieks in my ear.

My heart thunders as I clutch the cell phone tighter, seriously regretting answering her call. I’m not sure what I expected, I should have known better. Especially after what happened at her bible study.

“You don’t understand.” I murmur.

My mom scoffs, “Understand what? That you’re with a…a…” She clears her throat before continuing. “What happened, Fallon? You know that’s a…” She trails off again, her voice pained.

Taking a deep breath, she whispers, “I’m worried about you.”

I gulp, fisting the fabric of my shirt in an attempt to calm some of the anxiety building inside. I know where this is going, and I don’t know if I have the strength to say no.

“You’re coming to church with us this Sunday.”

The elevator dings open to the lobby, the sound pulling me from my memory. Shaking myself, I exit the building and look around the darkened street.

My eyes land on a bar a couple blocks away and I find my feet moving before I make the conscious decision to do so.

One drink couldn’t hurt.