All My Broken Pieces (FindingLight #2)

Chapter 32

Fallon

Bestie *double pink heart emoji*

You still coming?

I stare at the text, unsure how to respond.

In the weeks since my parents pulled their financial support, I’ve been in a bit of a freefall. The nights and days blending together as I find I’m aimless for the first time in my life.

I never had a total endgame in mind, I just knew whatever I was going to do, it would involve writing. My lifeline. Now, without the promise of words to keep me going, I don’t know what comes next.

Just another college dropout getting a job as a barista or something.

I blink back the tears in my eyes and glance up at the stack of books resting on my dresser.

I haven’t so much as cracked open one of my books in months. The thought of reading someone else’s love story while mine seems to be falling apart was too much.

Pushing to my feet, I cross the room and gently pick up one of the novels. I run my finger down the worn spine, carefully opening to one of the many marked sections.

No matter what we may face out there , in here? In here it’s just the two of us. Us against the world.

I don’t know when he became my person, when our lives became so intertwined that I don’t see a me without him .

Glancing over at his sleeping form, my lips pull up into a soft smile and I trail my fingers through his soft curls. My soul flies as I realize I’m not alone. I’ll never be alone again.

I lose the fight with the tears as they slip down my face.

I’m all alone.

My chest aches as I stifle a sob.

A soft knock sounds at my door, making me squeak and drop the book back onto the dresser. Wiping my face with my sleeve, I pull open the door, finding Hudson on the other side with his hands shoved into his pockets.

“Hey.” He mumbles, staring at the floor.

My brows furrow as I take in his stance. His shoulders are hunched, a sheen on his forehead. The clothes he’s wearing look to be a couple days old from the creases lining the fabric, and his hair is a chaotic mess.

A pang of guilt hits me at my selfishness. I’m supposed to be here helping him and instead I’ve been wallowing in my own self-pity.

“Oh, Hudson.” I murmur, reaching forward and pulling him into my arms. “Are you okay?”

He shakes his head, clinging to me. “N-no.” His quiet admission shatters my heart. “I, um, I know you’ve got a lot-”

“Shh.” I cut him off, leaning back to study his face. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you. What is it?” I dip my head, trying to catch his gaze. He turns his head, hiding his eyes and a pit forms in my stomach. “Hudson?” Gripping his chin, I nudge him to look at me.

With a heavy sigh, he finally gives in and shifts his eyes to mine. A little of the tightness in my chest loosens as I inspect his eyes and notice the pupils appear normal. “What’s going on?” I try again, relieved he hasn’t relapsed, but his behavior still has me on edge.

Without a word, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small baggie. My eyes narrow as I glance at the pills inside. “Please tell me that’s not what I think it is.” Hudson flinches, but doesn’t deny my suspicion. “Hudson, why?” I gasp, snatching the baggie from his outstretched hand.

Running a hand down his face, Hudson shrugs, pulling out of my hold. “I just, I needed it all to quiet. Fal,” His voice breaks as he wraps his arms around his thin frame. “I can’t get it to stop. I’m trying so fucking hard, but…what if they’re right? What if I’m,” His eyes flick to mine and away. “What if I am broken? Because I think they might be right. I feel pretty fucking broken right now.” Shoulders slumped, Hudson curls into himself.

My heart aches at his whispered words. “Hey.” I nudge his chin, waiting for his pale eyes to meet mine before continuing. “There is nothing wrong with you.” Something tugs at me at my words, but I beat it back, focusing on my brother and his pain. “They’re the assholes, Hudson. You? You’re amazing.” His expression shutters in response and a fury fills me, an anger that surprises me.

“Don’t let them have even another moment of your peace. What they said? That was born from hate and fear. They hate what they don’t understand, and it scares them that they can’t control us. But, Hud,” My voice rises with each sentence and I find every ounce of agony I have felt over my life funnels into the words. “You are incredible . You are so full of love and life. Please, please don’t let them take your joy. Don’t let them turn you into this .” I shake the baggie in front of his face.

A heavy silence falls on the room, the only sound my rapid breathing as I try to calm myself.

“Okay.” The whispered word hangs in the air between us.

Reaching forward, I pull him back into my embrace. “Okay.” I echo, my throat tightening. Leaning back, I offer him a small smile. “I want you to meet someone.” His brows furrow, but he doesn’t argue. Shaking my head, I huff a laugh and turn to pluck my phone off the mattress.

Me

Change of plans

I cling to Hudson’s back as he swerves between traffic. My stomach is in my throat, and I’ve never been so terrified, yet so free. The wind whipping in my face as we race down the highway has me smiling so wide my cheeks hurt.

I get why he likes this.

Flicking on his indicator, Hudson pulls off the highway and heads down the familiar streets leading to my old home. A familiar heaviness settles on my chest as we grow closer. Memories of my person fill my mind, bringing with them an aching sorrow.

I miss you, Arriana.

I’m itching for a drink, something to dampen the pain her absence brings. Usually by this point, I would have been several drinks in and numb to the world, but Hudson needs me.

We pull to a stop along the curb in front of the large condominium. Shutting off the engine, Hudson hops off his bike before turning to help me down. I push down my sorrow as I pull off my helmet, a smile on my face as I tease, “You’re an adrenaline junkie.”

Tucking his helmet under his arm, he winks at me. “What can I say, I like the high.” His expression falls as he registers what he said, shifting uncomfortably.

My smile straining, I hold my hand out for his keys. I step around him and then over to the valet before turning and gesturing toward the entrance. “Come on.” Hudson follows me inside, not saying anything else the entire way up to the penthouse.

Pounding on the elevator door, I mentally kick myself for not texting her that we were here. At least this time she knows I’m coming.

The doors slide open and my mouth falls open. “Not a word.” Ava snaps, moving to let us inside.

Biting back my laugh, I gesture to Hudson. “Ava, this is my brother Hudson. Hudson, this is my,” A giggle breaks past my defenses, earning me a sharp look. Holding my hands up in surrender, I try again. “This is my friend, Ava.”

“Hi, Hudson, it’s great to meet you.” Ava smiles, as if nothing is out of the ordinary.

“You, uh, you too.” He mutters in response, glancing between my friend, me, and the kitchen.

I follow his gaze and officially lose the battle with my laughter. Doubling over, I clutch my sides, laughing so hard I can barely stay upright.

“Stop it.” Ava cries. “It’s not funny!”

I push off my knees, walking across the room and coming to a stop to inspect the disaster before me. “Ava, what were you doing?” I giggle, running my gaze over the mess.

Scattered across the floor and countertops are dozens of eggshells, flour covering nearly every surface inch. Shifting my eyes, I notice large splatters of wet gloop clinging to the walls and ceiling.

“I was trying to make a cake.” Ava mumbles, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Why in the world would you try to bake a cake? Babe, I’ve never once known you to bake.” My gaze travels over her as I try so hard to hold back my laughter.

I don’t want to make the situation worse by my reaction, but as I look at the large clumps of batter in her hair, smudged flour covering her face, neck, and majority of her body, I know it’s a losing battle.

“It’s a surprise.” She mumbles miserably. “I just wanted something nice for…” She stops herself, shifting her eyes to me and away. “For the surprise.”

“I can help.” Hudson’s quiet voice cuts in.

I turn to him, my eyebrows raised. “You can?”

He shrugs, a half smile lifting up his lips. “I like to bake.” His cheeks stain red as he glances away.

“What? Since when?” I take a step closer, crossing my arms and waiting for him to look at me before demanding, “And why have we not had a multitude of goodies this whole time?”

He mirrors my stance, replying with another shrug of his shoulders. “You never asked.”

“Oh, you little shit.” I gasp, feigning indignation.

“Wait, you actually can bake a cake? Like, for real?” Ava chimes in. “And you want to help?”

Hudson turns to her, dropping his arms and grinning. “Sure can.” His gaze moves over the mayhem of the kitchen. “But, uh, we’re going to need to clean this up first.”

“Babe, I love him.” Ava calls to me, spinning on her heels and beginning the arduous task of cleanup.

I chuckle, sidestepping her and pulling down a bottle of wine and a glass. “Me too.” I smile at my brother as I pour my drink, choosing to ignore the concern in his eyes.