All My Broken Pieces (FindingLight #2)

Chapter 48

Fallon

“I…I think I might be an alcoholic.”

I regret the words the second they slip from my lips. Pushing against her, I’m surprised when Arriana moves away with no struggle.

Great, she’s going to leave me now. I’m too much, this is too much. Why would I just blurt it out like that ?

My anxious thoughts run non-stop in my head as I climb off the bed. Glancing over my shoulder, I find Arriana watching me wordlessly, the look on her face enough to send me spiraling if I wasn’t already.

The vibrations still buzzing consistently in my ass along with the multiple orgasm denials send a confusing mix of signals to my brain, making it hard to think clearly.

Reaching behind me, I pull out the plug, tossing it on the bed before turning to look around the room. I find a pair of sweats and a tank top resting on the small dresser across the room. Tugging on the sweatpants, I let out a nervous laugh. “It’s fine, I’m fine. I…I don’t know why I said that.” I pull the tank top over my head and slip my feet into my sandals. “I just need—I’m going to, um…” I let the half excuses hang in the air, not sure what to say. All I know is I can’t stay in here and have her looking at me like that .

“Fallon-” She calls, but it’s too late, I’m already out the door and stumbling in the dark as far away as I can.

Sucking in breath after breath, I try to beat down the tsunami of emotions building inside of me.

Just a broken mess.

I just let everyone down.

I run my hands through my damp hair, not realizing how cold it is outside until my fingers touch the icy strands. A shiver runs through my body and I suddenly wish I had grabbed a jacket in my hurry out the door.

Wrapping my arms around myself, I duck my head and walk toward the far end of the motel, the chilly air enough to shock my system. Some of the overwhelming emotions held back by sheer force of will.

I find myself missing how things used to be, before the endless nightmare our lives have become.

Before I gave into all the poisonous thoughts of my upbringing, before Arriana punched Scarlett and wound up in jail, before I found the temporary peace that lies at the bottom of a bottle, before we had to give up everything and flee to fucking Mexico .

Shaking my head, I huff a laugh at the ridiculousness of our lives now. My humor quickly dying off at the sound of boots scuffling against the ground. I freeze, my heart beating heavily in my chest.

It’s probably just Arriana coming to check on you.

I try to reassure myself, but deep down I know it’s not true. The footsteps are much too heavy, and the energy making its way toward me much too dark to be my love.

Glancing over my shoulder, I see the imposing figure of a man approaching me. My erratic heart jumps into overdrive, a lump forming in my throat as he grows closer. I try to pivot, to circle around him back toward our room, but he blocks my path.

“Where’d you think you’re going, pretty lass?” The man drawls, the stale smell of whiskey wafting into my face even from the short distance between us.

My body shakes, but not from the cold. I wrap my arms tighter around myself, trying to hide the evidence the cold has on my body, no doubt it would only make matters worse. I try to sidestep him, but he once again moves in my way.

Snapping his hand out, his large fingers circle my bicep, gripping so tightly I cry out from the sharp pain. “It’s not polite to ignore someone.” He tightens his hold, my arm throbbing in response to the lack of blood flow. “Think it’s time to teach you a lesson.” He slurs, barring his teeth at me in a wolf-like grin.

I try to pull my arm free, snapping, “Let me go.” But it only serves to further anger him.

“What are you doing, Bruce?” A voice sounds behind me and I send up a silent thank you that I’ve been saved from whatever this man had planned.

Bruce looks over my shoulder, his grin growing. My heart sinks at the sight. “Hey, Park. Just teaching this sweet young thing some manners.” I shudder, trying again to pull my arm free. “She’s a bit squirrelly though, wanna help?”

My stomach drops, there’s no way I can escape two men. My mind flashes back to the dark room, to Daniel forcing himself on me. The memory of Logan doing the same pushes its way forward as it often does, only this time both memories are a warning, a reminder of what the depravity of man can and does look like.

I cry out, tugging harder against him.

I can’t go through this again. I can’t.

“Let me go !” I scream, clawing at his arm with my free hand.

“Careful, darlin’.” The other man warns, gripping my wrist and tearing it away from his friend’s arm. “Don’t want to make this worse for ya, now do you?”

I shiver against the cold, the thin fabric little protection against the elements or the men currently leering at my breasts through the tank top. “Just-just let me go, please.” I beg, shrinking away from their gazes.

Bruce barks a laugh, growing more bold with his companion now here. “Not a chance, sweetheart.” Before I can react, he reaches his hand up and grips the neck of my top, ripping it down to free my breasts. “God damn those are some perfect tits.” He groans, palming one of them aggressively in his large palm.

I whimper, trying to get away, but there’s nowhere I can go, not with my arms trapped in their hold.

“You think the carpet matches the drapes?” Park hums, gripping the hem of my sweats.

“N-no.” I plead, shaking violently.

Park laughs, pulling the pants down past my ass. He moves his hand up my thigh, causing a wave of nausea to roll my stomach. “You beg so beautifully, darlin’. Let me hear some more.” He shoves his fingers inside of me and I cry out, shrieking for help into the darkness around us.

The two men laugh, continuing their assault on my body.

“She really does cry so b-” Park’s words cut off abruptly, his mouth moving soundlessly.

My eyes widen as I see the sharp tip of something sticking out of his throat shortly before it's ripped away, a trail of blood seeping from the hole left behind. The man crumples to the ground, his lifeless hand slipping from between my thighs. I can’t stop the sobs wracking my body, the frightened cries growing louder as I stare down at his body.

“Park?” Bruce turns his gaze toward his friend.

It’s then that I hear a familiar voice. “Let her go.” A shiver runs through me for an entirely different reason at the murderous intention behind her warning.

The man quickly releases me, stumbling back in terror. “Lo-look, we were just having some fun. Right, sweetheart?” He calls to me.

I move my gaze to him, my eyes wide at the audacity he would ask me to vouch for him.

“Doesn’t look like she was having fun. Were you, baby?” Arriana asks, her tone hollow. I shake my head, pulling my pants up and trying to hide as much of my chest behind the shredded top as I can. Her eyes narrow at the marks on my arm before she turns her attention once more toward my assailant.

Stepping over the dead man, she twirls the knife in her hand. “You messed with the wrong girl.” Bruce holds up his hands in defense, still trying to reason with her. “Shut up !” She finally cries, slicing out and cutting into the flesh of the hand that had held me captive. “You touched my girl. You put your hands on her.”

A smile spreads across her face, the gleam in her eyes bordering on psychotic as she corners him further. “Lucky for me, very unlucky for you, I already had some pent up aggression I needed to let out. Now, this is going to hurt.” Without another word, she grips his hand and swings her arm down, the long blade slicing effortlessly through his wrist.

Bruce howls, clutching at the stub left behind, staring at her in horror as she inspects his severed hand.

Sighing dramatically, Arriana places the knife against his throat. “I said, shut up .” She hisses, pressing the blade into his skin, a thin line of blood forming around the edges. He quickly snaps his mouth shut, trying to keep back the whimpers as blood continues to seep out of his wound. “There we go.” Arriana hums, patting his cheek with his own hand. “Now open up.”

Bruce’s eyes widen as he wildly shakes his head in protest. Arriana sighs again, digging the blade further until he finally snaps open his mouth. The moment his lips part, she shoves the detached hand into his throat.

“Finally, some goddamn quiet.” She hums, kicking out her leg to knock his from under him. Moving to straddle his body with hers, Arriana lifts the knife up in both hands before driving it down into his chest. She rips the blade out before stabbing into him once more.

I watch as she stabs into him over and over, long after the life has left his body, she continues to jam the blade into his chest. Finally, Arriana stops, breathing heavily as she leans forward, bracing herself against his bloodied torso.

“Are you okay?” I blink at the question, trying to remember how to form words. Arriana slowly pushes upright, holding her hands up as she takes slow steps in my direction.

I flinch back, my eyes taking in the bloodied mess before me. My mind can’t connect the vision I’m seeing with the woman I know. “Don-don’t touch me.” I manage to choke out, my voice shaking nearly as badly as my body.

“Baby…” Arriana whispers, her expression falling at my demand. I shake my head, taking a half step back. “Can…can we at least go get you cleaned up?” I shiver, wanting to say no, but I don’t have anywhere else to go. “Please?”

Averting my eyes, I nod my head and begin walking toward the room. The sound of Arriana following behind me fills me with both fear and a sense of safety that makes no sense after the carnage I just witnessed.

Once outside the room, she inserts the keycard, pushing open the door and urging me inside. I take a hesitant step into the room, a little afraid to be in the small space with her now. “Come on.” She nudges me toward the bathroom, closing the door behind us.

I stumble inside, the shaking in my body worsening as some of the adrenaline begins to wear off. I vaguely hear the sound of the shower turn on. Hands gently grip the hem of my sweats and I cry out, leaping away. Turning to face Arriana, I hug myself protectively.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” She murmurs, backing away. “I’ll-I’ll let you clean up.” Without another word, she exits the bathroom, the sound of the room door opening and closing follows shortly after.

After several moments, I’m able to push past the paralyzation and slowly undress. Turning toward the fogged mirror, I swipe my hand across the glass to study myself. My face is blotched, eyes wide. Trailing my gaze further down, I see the marks left behind by Bruce, another round of shivers spreading through my body at the sight.

Closing my eyes, I blow out a heavy breath.

I’m okay.

I try to convince myself of it, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Stumbling toward the shower, I move to stand under the hot water, willing it to warm the chill in my soul. Even as my body begins to thaw, the heat loosening the tight muscles, I can’t relax. My mind replaying the sight of Arriana stabbing into the man with wild abandon. A grin on her face as she ended his life.

What have I done?