Always Alchemy: The Ever After Book (Alchemy #6)

28. Stepmothers with Benefits

28

STEPMOTHERS WITH BENEFITS

GEN

I t’s not every day your stepdaughters invite you to the Dover Street Arts Club for lunch. It was Annabel, the more dominant twin, who texted me last week.

Hey

Gen

Wanna go for lunch?

With both of us

We need your help w something

Don’t stress we’re fine

But don’t tell Dad!!!

The last message was a giant red flag for me, so much so that my initial reaction was to indeed “tell Dad”. But they’re coming to me for a reason, and if they’re in trouble or have need of my help, I’d rather they asked one of the adults in their lives than none of them.

So I suppose, for now, that adult is me.

The twins are both in their final year at London universities and living it up in my old flat in South Kensington. Anton bought it off me as a pied à terre for the kids. It’s approximately three hundred times more luxurious than regular student accommodation, but the upside is that they’re close to us and living in a decent part of town. While Annabel’s studying Business at the London School of Economics, Amie’s doing a Fashion and Marketing degree at Central St Martin’s.

Far more heads turn when they walk in than I’m comfortable with, given most of our fellow diners are businessmen twice their age. The girls are astonishingly—and, if you’re their father, terrifyingly—stunning. It’s still hard for me to tell them apart unless they’re making a conscious effort to differentiate their appearances.

That is not the case today. They’re both wearing exactly the same thing—cream ribbed sweater dresses that skim their enviable figures. Their dark hair is straight and glossy, their makeup sleek and minimalist in that certain way that tells me it took hours to apply. They look like supermodels, and I’m sure every man in here is appreciating this double threat that’s just livened up his lunch.

After we’ve chosen carefully from the menu—they’re both Coeliac, like their mother—we catch up. Anton and I haven’t seen them since they came for Sunday brunch around a month ago. I will never regret not having children—I never saw myself with a baby—but I find I enjoy the relationship I have with my step-children .

For one, there are no bottoms to wipe. They can all look after themselves perfectly well. Second, I’m not a central parent figure in their lives, more of a bonus adult, so we can enjoy each other’s company on our own merits. I don’t see a huge amount of Felix or Scarlett, who both live in New York, but I enjoy spending time with the Terrible Twins when the occasion presents itself.

This, however, is a first.

I’ve noticed a few fleeting glances between them as we’ve chatted. They’re doing that twin thing of silent communication. It’s amusing, but I have to say my interest is piqued. Also, I know they have lectures to get back to after lunch.

‘I was intrigued by your texts,’ I tell Annabel. ‘What is it you girls need my help with?’

Another conspiratorial glance. Amie looks quickly down at her plate.

‘We have a favour to ask you,’ Annabel says.

‘ Annabel has a favour to ask you,’ Amie clarifies.

‘I have a favour to ask you on both our behalves,’ Annabel insists.

I sigh and put down my salad fork, picking up my champagne flute. ‘Out with it.’

‘We want you to give us membership to Alchemy,’ Annabel says.

I almost spit out my champagne. ‘Hard pass,’ I splutter.

Amie gives Annabel an I told you so look.

‘Why, exactly?’ Annabel wants to know.

I am totally on the back foot here. ‘Well, for one thing… your father would have a heart attack. Literally. There’s no way he’d allow it.’

‘Funny,’ Annabel muses. ‘I had no idea he was the boss of you. You always struck me as very independent—we admire your feistiness, don’t we, Amie? And we’re twenty-one, so it’s precisely none of his business.’

‘He’s not the boss of me, and you know it,’ I say, flustered. ‘This isn’t about who’s the boss, it’s about my respecting his wishes. It would kill your father if you joined Alchemy.’

‘I don’t see why. We’re having sex anyway, so it may as well be in a safe and consensual environment.’ I’m pretty sure she’s taken that last part verbatim from Alchemy’s website. ‘ And you’re supposed to be flying the flag for female sexual freedom.’ She leans forward. ‘Did you know Amie has only had sex with two people and both of them were crap? Isn’t that exactly the kind of issue you’re supposed to help solve?’

Poor Amie looks like she’s dying a thousand deaths over Annabel’s indiscretions. I press my lips together in an expression of sympathy before turning my attention back to Annabel.

‘First of all, I’d like you to respect your sister more, please. You may think you’re doing her a favour, but she doesn’t need you as a mouthpiece. She can speak for herself, can’t you, Amie?’ She nods, looking grateful. ‘This is a very serious topic we’re discussing. You should not be putting words in your sister’s mouth. Understood?’

‘Yeah,’ she says, marginally chastened.

‘Excellent.’ I give a little nod and pull myself mentally together. I’ve won a tiny point, but I’m way out of my depth here. I can’t help but feel I’m encroaching on Anton and Marie-Claire’s turf over their daughters’ sexual education while being uncomfortably aware that absolutely everything Annabel has said is right.

‘Okay, let’s address the issue at hand. While Amie’s sexual experiences are not up for discussion unless she wants to share them herself, I do agree with what you’ve said.’ I smile at her. ‘You’re a good negotiator—so like your father. And you’re right.’ I clear my throat. ‘I feel very strongly about investing in female sexuality, and I know, of course, that you’re both adults.

‘Alchemy’s a place where people can absolutely go to have fun in a safe place. Of course it is. But that’s not to say it’s tame. Every member will be on their own journey, but it’s full on.’ I’m very much in stepmother mode right now rather than fierce advocate of women’s sexual freedom, which is why I say what I say next.

‘Have you any idea how many men in this room have looked at you two like you’re pieces of meat since you walked in?’

Amie’s eyes widen. Annabel chews the inside of her lip. ‘Gross. They’re all old.’

‘They’re not that old—thirties to fifties, I’d say. But a thirty-something finance guy is our typical avatar. It’s basically the same demographic. Now, imagine you’re in a club full of these guys, and you’re half naked, or more, and they’re coming onto you, or you’re watching them have sex with other people, multiple people, a lot of the time. How would you feel?’

I’m being deliberately provocative, of course, and I feel bad about it. It’s astonishing that Amie and Annabel are only a year or so younger than Belle and Maddy must have been when they discovered the delights of Alchemy.

The girls have met them in passing during our wedding festivities and our fortieth bash, but they don’t know them well. I make a mental note never to let Annabel talk to Maddy about Alchemy. Those two are far too similar. Although, arranging for Amie to have a quiet word with Belle may not be a bad call .

‘Completely violated,’ Amie says with a shudder. Annabel’s giving the room a further visual survey, lips pursed thoughtfully.

‘I dunno. Thirties, I can do. The last guy I fucked was?—’

I hold up my hand. ‘Thank you, I have no wish to know.’

Dear Lord above, give me strength. How did I ever allow my fuckboy mate Rafe to get his claws into poor little Belle when she was only twenty-two? I was dubious then, but it seems horrifying now, even if I stand by everything the Unfurl programme did and does stand for.

That said, if I remove my stepmother hat for a moment, I can appreciate that these two beautiful young women are fully grown, in the early years of what will hopefully be a long sexual prime, and deserving that I take them seriously and don’t patronise or gaslight them.

Obviously, where their father is concerned, it would be better if they never had sex at all.

Obviously, that ship has sailed.

And obviously, I can’t resist trying to prevent them from falling into the hole I found myself in before we founded Alchemy, which was years and years of ungratifying sex.

I don’t really want the girls to have sex, but I also don’t want them having bad sex, and I certainly don’t want them having dangerous or traumatic or non-consensual or intimidating sex, or even sex that leaves an ick. And I can’t deny that they’ve come to the right adult in their lives for help on all those fronts.

Bugger bugger bugger.

‘Tell us about the club,’ Annabel pleads. This kid is like a rubber duck. You really can’t keep her down. It’s the kind of borderline obnoxious resilience that will probably stand her very well in life. ‘We don’t know anything about it, and the website is fucking useless. No offence. ’

I swallow a smile. She’s really something. I look at Amie. ‘Are you comfortable if I give you some broad brushstrokes?’

She nods politely. ‘Sure.’

‘Well, Alchemy’s supposed to represent various things. Convenience, discretion and room for exploration, mainly. To put it bluntly, the people who sign up are wealthy, time poor, and wanting to experiment.’

Annabel wiggles her eyebrows and shoots Amie a gleeful smile.

It is not returned.

This may be my professional milieu, but I’m feeling pretty damn uncomfortable speaking about this stuff to the twins. Not only have Anton and I always been open with his children about my profession, but we’ve celebrated it. I’m proud of being a businesswoman, and I’m proud of being someone on a journey to positively change sexual experiences, especially for women.

Even so, we’ve always talked in generalisations. Getting down and dirty about the kind of shit that happens at Alchemy every day of the week feels oddly confronting. I’m less worried that they’ll judge me than that I’ll freak them out, or they’ll see me in a new light—even Annabel. My instinct is that under all that bravado, her eyes may be bigger than her belly, sexually speaking, and I am absolutely going to kick the tyres on that front before I even consider an Alchemy membership for them.

‘A lot of the members use us for sex on tap,’ I continue. ‘Imagine you’re working long hours and you want to scratch an itch but you don’t want all the bullshit that comes with the dating game. It’s not a new concept, obviously, but Alchemy goes way, way further than the likes of Tinder to accommodate no-strings-attached sex as safely and enjoyably— and, I’d add, with as much atmosphere and fun factor—as possible.’

Amie’s sitting ramrod straight, taking my words in. Annabel rolls her hand in a hurry it along gesture.

‘You’re talking without saying anything,’ she complains. ‘People go there to fuck. We get it. What’s so special about it, though? Pretend we’re clients you want to land. Give us the elevator pitch.’

Now I do laugh at her vile sense of entitlement. ‘You really are a horrible little snot-rag, aren’t you?’

‘Absolutely,’ they both agree cheerfully in unison.

I roll my eyes. ‘Fine.’

Here goes. I’ll give them the real Gen, not the politely bland, boundaried stepmother version. I put my elbows on the table and lean forward. ‘You want the unvarnished truth? Fine. They come for a lot of things, but mainly the calibre of the clientele and the quality of the fucking.

‘The members of Alchemy are the kind of people everyone else wants to date, or fuck, or at the very least, have access to. That’s the crux of it. Our patrons get them on tap, in an environment that’s discreet and luxurious and in the knowledge that everyone is thoroughly checked out and health-screened and NDA’d up to the hilt before they even step foot in the place.

‘And then you’ve got the add-ons. The toys. The equipment. The entertainment. And our hosts, who are there to ensure our members have a really great time.’

Annabel’s eyes widen gleefully. ‘Wait—you have escorts working for you?’

‘We have salaried members of staff,’ I correct her, ‘who are paid to serve drinks and hang out and have fun. It’s up to them how far they take things.’ Or if our members want to show their appreciation privately with a hefty tip .

‘Well, that’s perfect.’ She throws her hands in the air. ‘You can just tell Dad we’ve asked for jobs as hosts, and then once you’ve peeled him off the ceiling, you can just downgrade it to regular old members and he won’t bat an eyelash.’

I shake my head at her. ‘You really should be in business school.’

She grins.

Amie leans forward, and the question out of her mouth surprises me. ‘What kind of checks do you do on them? Like, psych screens? What if someone seems cool on all your metrics but once they get you in a room they’re a total psycho?’

‘Someone seems very invested,’ Annabel muses, tossing her long dark hair over one shoulder. I give her my best stern schoolmarm look.

‘I just think it’s an interesting issue,’ Amie says, nonplussed. She too tosses her hair, and I wonder if she has any idea she’s mirroring her twin. She does it a lot. ‘Like, you say your typical client is in finance. It doesn’t take a genius to work out there are a lot of total sociopaths and narcissists in the City. So what if some guy is suave and charming and checks out perfectly, but then they get some woman in a room and they show their really nasty side?’

She sits back in her seat and picks up her sparkling water. No alcohol for Amie with an afternoon of lectures ahead. Annabel, who, is on vodka tonic, gapes at her.

‘Jesus! Yeah, what happens then?’

‘Obviously, there’s always a risk,’ I tell Amie. I don’t tell her that her words remind me of when I interviewed her father, for some reason, though it was kind of the other way around with him. I thought he was dodgy as fuck from the moment I saw him .

I wouldn’t say I was wrong on that front, per se, but the Big Bad Wolff definitely won me over. I keep my smile to myself as I continue. ‘There are people who are really fucked up and they do a really good job of hiding it until they’ve chopped up your body and chucked it in the river. Right? But we get referrals wherever possible. We get references where possible, too. We check out people’s social media, we run background checks, as I said, and we interview everyone, too, as much to get a read on them as to gauge their sexual preferences.

‘And I’ll still stake my entire reputation on it being safer to hook up with a stranger at Alchemy than on an app or in a bar. Hands down. We have a two drink maximum to make sure there’s no drunken fraternising, which removes a lot of risk. And besides, people tend to behave when they know there’s a zero tolerance policy. One accusation and they’re out on their ear.

‘So yeah, you might get someone who signs up so they can commit a sex crime one single time, but that’s a lot of effort when they could do the same far more easily somewhere else. People love the club. They value it, and they know that the privilege of being a member comes with extremely weighty expectations.’ I sit back and thank our server as he lays a platter of dover sole in front of me.

‘All I heard,’ Annabel remarks airily, picking up her fork, ‘is that Alchemy is basically the safest place to have sex in the whole of London. So why the fuck Dad would let us loose on the streets of Soho and not let us sign up for a very well-run sex club is entirely beyond me.’