Always and Only You

Chapter Fifty-Seven

CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN

Five years ago

Something has been bothering her, something they didn’t address when they talked through the night Megan died. She picks up her phone and taps out a message:

Why do you think we all agreed not to talk about it again?

She remembers the days following the ‘accident’ as the three of them had come to refer to it. It was awful. Not just the shock of seeing her like that, finding her and realizing it was too late, but everything that followed.

The police interview made her feel guilty, as if she were responsible, and she’s never quite managed to shake that feeling off even though, logically, she knows she might not have changed the outcome. Even if she found Megan earlier, it might still have been too late. And it was Megan’s choice to drink and take drugs, knowing there was a risk in mixing the two.

Seeing Megan’s parents had been the lowest point. They cried on her, hugged her, thanked her for being such an amazing friend. She felt like a complete fake. So when Simon suggested not rehashing the details of that night with each other, it felt like a relief.

Do you think we made the right decision?

She senses he’s mulling her question over, but he eventually replies.

No, I’m not sure we did. But we’re putting it right now, aren’t we?

She smiles, glad of his no-nonsense, direct approach. He’s never harsh or blunt, but he never hedges around an issue. He’s always so honest. It’s one of the things she likes best about him.

How are you doing with it all now? she asks, because she remembers that he’s still having to deal with all the gossip and speculation in their wider friendship group.

I don’t let it get to me.

Yes, she believes that. He’s dependable, solid, but not in a boring way. She finds him anything but boring. He’s a safe pair of hands. Someone who can take care of the person they’re with, if how he’s been by her side for the last couple of months is anything to go by. She hopes things won’t change when she finally goes home.

Home …

She flops back on her bunk and stares at the ceiling. Her return flight is booked for May. How can she last another four, almost five, months without seeing him face to face?

She raises the phone above her face and types I miss you .

Likewise.

She sighs, and happiness seeps through her body like warm caramel. And as her eyes drift over the different bubbles that make up their most recent conversation, an idea forms in her mind. A solution.