Always the Baker

Chapter 3

3

B illie

Three Days Later

Two hours after I left work for the day, I was sprawled across Ember’s plush couch trying to relax. I scrolled through my phone, catching up on the day’s dose of social media posts. It wasn’t something that I did often… mostly when I was bored.

“Oh shit! Ember, look at this!” I shoved the screen in her face, almost hitting her with it. A clipped grunt escaped her as she flinched and took the phone with a laugh. “Brax Adams just posted a new song teaser. His voice is like… ugh, I can’t even.” The corners of my mouth lifted into a smile as I held the phone to my chest. “His voice instantly soothes my soul. He could literally sing the ABCs to me, and I’d be content enough with life to die and go to heaven.”

Ember rolled her eyes and chuckled. “You and your crush. You know he probably has people writing those posts for him, right?”

“So? They might write the posts but it’s him and his voice in the video.”

“Mhm. Well, if he’s dropping a teaser, you’ll probably get the full song in six years. That man is on no one’s timetable when it comes to his music. I don’t know how you follow him and listen to those short clips. I be wanting more.”

“Shh, don’t ruin my fantasy,” I said, watching the video for the tenth time. Brax’s soulful brown eyes stared into the camera as he strummed his guitar. His tattoos peeked out from under his short sleeves and the top of his collar. I sighed dreamily. This man was pure perfection. I’d had a crush on him way before he became famous. Back when he was uploading horribly mixed mixtapes onto YouTube and Soundcloud, I was his biggest fan.

“Earth to Billie.” Ember waved her hand in front of my face. “You’re drooling on my throw pillow, girl.”

I sat up, feeling my cheeks rise as I smiled. “Sorry. It’s just… Look at him. He’s so talented and fine and so out of my league, but still, a girl can dream.”

Ember frowned. “Hey, none of that. You’re awesome. And talented too. Don’t act like you’ve forgotten who you are. You’re one of the most, no, you are the most creative person I know. Whether it’s graphic design, painting and drawing, or baking bomb cakes. You’re truly that creative girl.”

I shrugged, picking at a loose thread on my jeans. “A lot of good being that girl does me here in Nowheresville, designing logos for dentists and plumbers… or cakes for my ex’s future wife.”

“Wait.” Ember lifted her hands and snickered. “I’m missing something. Run that back for me.”

Oh yeah. I hadn’t told her about Ian and Jaleesa. That had been my plan, but the more I processed what happened, the worse I felt. To know he’d gotten engaged in six months after spending three years with me left me exhausted. I knew men knew if a woman was the one regardless of if they said it or not. Three years was a long time to lead me on, but I had no one to blame but myself for sticking around.

After I told Ember about the meeting at Steeped, she sat next to me on the couch and gave me a side hug.

“I’m sorry, best friend. I can’t imagine how awkward and hard that was for you.”

“Yeah. I meant to come tell you about it, but I couldn’t even process it, you know? Like… I was literally just with him, and he’s moved on already.”

“Well, more power to them, but that does nothing to lessen yours. The right man is out there for you, and he’s going to know in six seconds how blessed he’ll be to have you.”

Ember was always great at encouraging me. Up until the breakup, my confidence didn’t need external boosts, but I was grateful for them. I gave her a deeper hug.

“Thanks, best friend. I know things will be better in the future. They just… really suck right now.”

“So why don’t you do something about it?” Ember challenged, raising an eyebrow.

I laughed. “Right. I’ll just pack up and move to the big city. Memphis or Rose Valley Hills. Leave my parents with no help. Become a famous artist overnight. Bake cakes for couples by day. Find love and have babies and live happily ever after.”

“Well, maybe not overnight…” Ember trailed off. The mischievous glint in her eye made me skeptical.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “What are you plotting?”

She grinned, reaching for her laptop. “Nothing drastic. Just a little adventure.”

I watched as Ember’s fingers flew across the keyboard. Her swift pace reminded me of Bruce in Bruce Almighty when he was typing.

“What if you took a weekend trip to the city?” she continued. Her eyes sparkled with excitement. “Just a couple of days to get a taste of the life you’re dreaming about. And hey, maybe this would be a great chance for you to create a new reality for yourself. Be that version of yourself now so you can know how it feels to be her in the future.”

My heart skipped a beat as I sat up in my seat. Drumming my fingers against my thigh, I considered her words. The idea of taking on a new identity, even if just for the weekend, sounded fun and refreshing. Could I actually pull it off? “Are you serious? I have a job. I have responsibilities. I can’t just… leave. I—”

“Why not?” Ember interrupted, turning the screen toward me. “Look, I found some great deals on hotels. Nothing fancy, but clean and safe. I didn’t put you in the downtown area because they’re usually a little sketchy.”

I leaned in, my eyes widening as I scrolled through the options.

“This could actually work,” I mumbled as a grin slowly spread across my face. The rooms she’d looked up in Rose Valley Hills were just over a hundred dollars a night. They were by the art district, which was between the downtown area and the beach. I couldn’t believe the rooms were so reasonably priced. There had to be a catch. For that price, though, I was willing to risk it.

“Of course it could!” Ember nudged my shoulder. “Come on, Billie. When’s the last time you did something spontaneous?”

I snorted out a laugh. “Uh, never? You know me. And if not never, it’s definitely been a while. All I’ve been focusing on lately is work.”

“Exactly,” Ember said, pointing a finger at me. “It’s time to shake things up. Live a little!”

My stomach fluttered with a mix of excitement and nerves. “My parents would freak if they knew. We’re nearing the end of the fall sale and they’ll need me for the extra weekend shifts.”

“So don’t tell them.” Ember shrugged as she looked her freshly manicured nails over. “You’re an adult, Billie. You can take a weekend trip without asking for permission. If they need that much help, I’ll step in.”

I bit my lip, hesitating for a moment before grabbing the laptop. “You know what? You’re right. I’m going to do this!”

With trembling fingers, I clicked through the booking process. My heart raced as I entered my debit card information.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I whispered.

“Believe it, girl!” Ember cheered as I hit the ‘Confirm Booking’ button.

A rush of adrenaline coursed through me as the confirmation page loaded. The money I had saved definitely came in handy. This felt like a good investment— myself . What better use of the money was there? A weekend in Rose Valley Hills might have been just what I needed to get me out of this funk.

“Sheesh.” I breathed deeply, staring at the screen. “I’m really going to the city.”

Ember pulled me into a tight hug. “This is going to be amazing for you, Bill. You deserve this.”

As the reality of what I’d just done sank in, a giggle bubbled up from my chest. Soon, we were both laughing, giddy with excitement and the promise of adventure. Well, maybe not adventure. The promise of being able to be someone else—someone no one there would know.

I sat up on the couch, put a pillow over my legs, and hummed as my mind raced with possibilities. “Okay, I need a game plan. What should I do in the city?”

Ember tossed me a notepad and pen. “Girl, literally whatever you want. The sky is the limit.”

I tapped the pen against my chin, then started scribbling. “First up, I’ve got to hit that rooftop bar you told me about. The one with the speakeasy underneath. Or should I do JD’s ? That’s the place with the glass flooring and beach view, right?”

“Ooh, fancy, and right! Either of those would be a flex. Do both!” Ember nodded approvingly. “What else?”

“How about a real theater production?” My voice rose with excitement. “I’ve always wanted to see one live. A professional one. Not the high school plays you made me sit through since you were in the drama club.”

Her eyes rolled playfully. “I’m gonna bypass that comment. I love this.” Ember grinned. “Keep going.”

I scribbled furiously. As the ideas poured, my handwriting became messier with each exciting addition. “Shopping at those high-end boutiques, you know, the ones where the celebrities shop. I heard Rose Valley Hills is like a smaller Miami with a lot of black wealth. They have their own strip that has all the best stores like in the Hamptons. Oh! And maybe a trip to an art gallery and the gondola ride.”

Ember peered over my shoulder at what I was writing, as if she could actually read it. When we were in high school, I used to get so tired of people trying to copy my work that I started writing sideways. The cursive was sloppy as hell and kept them from being able to cheat… and it stuck with me this very day. “Damn, Billie. You are not holding back.”

I laughed, surprising myself with how carefree the ideas were. “Why stop there? I’ll add a spa day. The full package. I’ll get a massage, a facial, the works. You think they do mud baths there too? I’ve wanted to try one ever since I watched Suits .”

“Girl, you’re only there for a weekend.” Ember chuckled. “But I love where your head is at. I say do literally everything you can. You can sleep when you get back home.”

I stared at my list. A mix of excitement and disbelief washed over me. “Is this too much?”

“Nah.” Ember waved dismissively. “Go big or go home, right? I really want you to do everything you can.”

The longer I stared at the list, the more possible it seemed to make this work. She was right. I could sleep when I got home. I could also start saving again. But for the full weekend, I was determined to spend as much time enjoying the city as I could.

The Next Morning

I dragged myself into work, still riding the high of last night’s planning session. But as soon as I pushed open the door to Hopkins Design , reality came crashing down. Before I could even make myself a cup of coffee, Daddy was warning me about the workload we had for the day.

“Thank goodness you’re here, Billie,” Mom said, not even bothering to look up from her computer. “We just got three rush orders.”

I forced a smile as guilt gnawed at my insides. We were already behind on the sale orders, which was why we had to work this weekend. Now we had three rush orders? How were they going to get this shit out in a timely manner without me?

“No problem. I’m on it. What do you need?”

As I fired up my computer, she went over the details and said she’d forward the forms to me. I scanned the orders and groaned before going to make my coffee. When I made it back to my desk, my phone lit up with a text from Ember.

Em: Two more days until this small town girl takes the big city! You ready best friend?

I glanced at the pile of work on my desk, then back at the message. My mouth and stomach twisted. Sighing, I massaged my temple as my head began to throb. It felt like second nature to cancel the trip. To stay home and prioritize the business. But I couldn’t. Now more than ever, I had to do what was best for me. Because regardless of how Ian’s words hurt me, some of them were true.

When we first met, I was full of hope and desire to pave my own way in life. Mom had created a map that she wanted me to follow, but Ian made me believe I could have my cake and eat it too. He made me believe I could live for myself and still make my parents proud. Somewhere along the line, I got too content with where I was and used Mom’s desires for me as an excuse for why I didn’t go after more. Truth was… I was nervous I’d fail if I tried to bake full time. I was nervous people wouldn’t think I was as good of an artist as Mom and compare me to her. I was nervous my art wouldn’t sell, and she’d think I failed. That I wasn’t worth her giving up her dream. In my mind I knew that wasn’t possible, but overthinking was a motherfucker, and I needed this trip to cut those thoughts off.

Me: Yeah. Can’t wait.

That was what I said, but as I busied myself with designing logos and business cards, my mind kept drifting to my ambitious list of city plans. The cursor blinked on my screen, waiting for inspiration that wouldn’t come.

“You okay, honey?” Daddy asked, passing by with an armful of T-shirt samples. “You seem distracted.”

I plastered on another smile.

“Just thinking about a new design concept. Or, at least trying to.”

With Daddy, I could be more honest. He didn’t have as high or as unrealistic expectations on my creativity as Mom did. Plus, with him, I didn’t feel as much pressure to deliver.

“I’m sure what you’re going to come up with is going to be great.”

“I hope so. Do you need help with the samples? Maybe I need to focus on something else.”

He gave me a warm smile as he set the samples on his desk. “Sure, honey. You can help me decide what three to send to Darryl for his bowling team.”

“Agh!”

At the sound of Mom’s scream, Daddy and I rushed to the supply closet.

“What’s wrong?” Daddy asked, gripping her arms.

“These shirts!” she whined, shoving the shirts in his face and reminding me of where I got the lack of concern for personal space thing from.

“What’s wrong with them?” Daddy asked, taking a few from her hand.

“All the collars are crooked. I can’t print on these. They look cheap.”

Sighing, Daddy scratched his head as it shook. “We’ll have to send these back to the distributor.”

“We can’t, Harold. They were on sale. I have to buy new ones.”

“Shit,” Daddy mumbled, tossing the shirts into the box.

“I feel like they did this on purpose,” Mom said with watery eyes.

“I’m sure they did but we can’t worry about that now. Can we afford a new batch of shirts?”

Mom’s head shook and drooped. “No, not really, but we have to make it work. Having to wait on the shirts will push three orders back. God. This is the last thing we need right now.”

Leaning against the wall, I tried to think of something to help. The only thing that came to mind was going to look on the website and see if they had any clauses about their shirts having defects and being sold as-is. If not, I’d call and threaten to sue. If that didn’t get them to give us a refund or a new batch of shirts, I didn’t know what else I could do.

As the day wore on, I was less and less sure about what to do. I was able to convince the distributor to replace the shirts, but he charged a rush fee to send new ones, which was half of what we would have had to spend for a whole new batch. Every time I made progress on a project, my phone vibrated with another excited message from Ember about my trip. She was more anxious for me to go and enjoy myself than I was. Every time she sent a place for me to try or thing for me to do, it felt bittersweet. The city was calling, but so did my family’s business.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. Just thinking about leaving them was stressing me the hell out. How could I leave when they needed me here? But how could I stay when the escape I needed was just a few hours away? A weekend in Rose Valley Hills held so much promise. Even with my funds and time there being limited, I was confident I could have a great time.

Mom’s voice cut through my thoughts, reminding me that the day was still dragging on. “Billie, honey, can you stay late tonight? We need to finish those banners for the high school fundraiser. I’m going to expedite their order, so we won’t have to worry about it when the new shirts come in.”

I felt my excitement for the trip deflate like a punctured balloon. The last thing I wanted was to stay here a second longer than I needed to. I needed to get home to pack and continue finalizing my plans. “But, Mom, I…”

“I know you hate staying late,” she said, her tone light but loaded. “It’s just, your father and I really need your help. The business has been in our family for generations. It’s not the life I pictured for myself, but I had you and—”

I swallowed hard as guilt tightened around my throat. “I know, Mom. You don’t have to remind me of what you gave up to have me. It’s just…”

“We’re counting on you, Billie,” she added softly. “This town, our clients, they’re all like family. And family sticks together, right?”

My shoulders slumped. Jesus. It was nothing for her to pile the guilt on. If she wasn’t reminding me of how my birth crushed her dreams, as if I asked to be born, she was reminding me of our duty to our small town.

“Right,” I mumbled, feeling my balloon fill with frustration. There was no doubt in my mind she was going to get me to skip out on this trip. When she turned, I stood and called her name. As she turned to face me, I said, “I can stay as long as it takes tonight to finish the banners and the flyers for the church event. I have plans this weekend and won’t be available. So if there’s anything else you need me to do, I need you to let me know now.”

She eyed me skeptically as I nibbled my bottom lip. I always felt myself shrink with her. Not because she was abusive or mean or anything, but because I often felt like I had to be gentle with her. I never wanted to hurt, upset, or disappoint her… even if that meant disappointing myself. But this weekend couldn’t play out like that.

“Plans huh? What kind of plans?”

“I don’t want to talk about it yet, but it’s really important to me, so I can’t miss it.”

She gave me a curt nod and released a low hum. “Okay. Well, that’s all for now. If something else comes to mind, I’ll be sure to let you know in advance.”

“Great, thanks.”

A small smile lifted the corner of her mouth as she curiously eyed me before nodding and walking away.

Hours later, I made my way into Ember’s favorite sushi place, feeling like I’d been run over by a truck full of responsibility. While I didn’t have proof, I felt like Mom found extra shit to give me to do just because I told her I had plans. My entire body ached from the fourteen hours I’d spent at work today, and I was in even more need of a break.

“There’s my city girl!” Ember chirped, waving from our usual booth.

I slid in across from her, forcing a weak smile. “Hey.”

She frowned, chopsticks pausing midair. “Uh-oh. I know that look. What happened, Bill?”

I sighed and fiddled with my napkin. A part of me didn’t want to tell her how I was feeling. I already knew what she was going to say, and I really didn’t want to hear her mouth.

“I don’t think I can go this weekend. The shop’s swamped and my parents need me.”

“No, ma’am. I don’t want to hear that shit.” Ember cut me off, pointing her chopsticks at me accusingly. “You are not bailing on this, Billie. Not this time.”

“But, Em...”

“No buts!” She leaned forward, eyes blazing. “You were so excited about this. You deserve this. This can literally be a glimpse into your future—the city life, the fast paced lifestyle, the fun and opportunities. One weekend won’t sink the family business.”

I bit my lip, torn between loyalty and longing. “What if they need me?”

Ember’s expression softened. “They will. But you need this too, Billie. You need you. You deserve a chance to spread those artsy wings of yours. Whether you do that with a paint brush or a whisk… you need this.”

We continued to talk until the waiter came to take my order. I thanked God silently for blessing me with a friend who took her role seriously to edify me. Our conversation turned lighter and shifted gears as the minutes passed on. As the waiter set down our usual order, I felt a tiny spark of hope reignite. Maybe I could have both? My dreams and my duty. At least for one weekend.

Ember popped a piece of sushi in her mouth and chewed as if the raw salmon was the best thing she’d tasted in her life.

“Look, you’ve wanted this your whole life,” she said after swallowing. “And it’s just a visit, not a permanent move. Live a little, Billie!” Ember said the words as if she knew my mind had taken me back to my choice to go.

Her words hit me like a jolt of electricity. She was right. What was I so afraid of?

“You know what? Screw it,” I said, grabbing my purse. “I’m going.”

Ember’s eyes widened. “Wait, now? We haven’t even finished our…”

“No time!” I called over my shoulder, already halfway to the door. “I’ve got a bag to pack!”

“Hey! Don’t think I didn’t notice you ditched me with the bill.”

A giggle escaped me as I promised to pay for our next lunch.

I raced home. My heart pounded with a mix of so many different emotions attached to the thoughts in my mind. Clothes flew into my suitcase as I imagined myself strolling down the city streets, sketchbook in hand. Regardless of whether I drew the city, the people, or cakes, I could feel in my bones that this trip would be inspirational for me. For once, I didn’t overthink it. I just packed.

I woke up Friday morning, still motivated to go on the trip. It felt like butterflies were doing the cha-cha in my stomach. Since I would be gone, I spent the night at my parents’ place. I tiptoed past my parents’ room as guilt and excitement warred in my chest.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, leaving a note on the kitchen counter. “I’ll make it up to you both.” The note didn’t go into detail about me leaving for the weekend, but it did tell them that I’d be unavailable and to call Em if they needed help.

As I climbed into my car, my hands shook. My phone started to vibrate, and I hit the button to answer the call via Bluetooth.

“Oh my God, Ember,” I said, buckling up as her soft voice giggled and vibrated through the car. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Ember released an airy sigh. “Believe it, girl. Big city, here you come!”

I raced out of my hometown, leaving behind a trail of dust and so many weighty expectations. I watched familiar landmarks pass me by, and my heart raced faster with each mile. Even with me reminding myself this was just for a weekend, it felt like something that would have permanent changes. Even if they were just within me, I trusted they would be worth it. The thrill of doing this without my parents knowing held a different space in my heart filled with conflict, but I didn’t want their worrying to soil this moment for me. I needed it to remain mine… remain sacred.

“You okay?” Ember asked as I changed lanes to move around a car going thirty miles under the speed limit. Normally I wouldn’t care about the slow driving, but not today. Today, I had somewhere to be.

I nodded as a giddy laugh escaped me. “I think I’m trying to keep myself from having a panic attack, but I also feel like I’m having the time of my life.”

“That’s the spirit!” She was always so supportive. “I’m so proud of you for doing this for yourself. At no point this weekend do I want you to forget you deserve it, baby!”

As I watched the signs begin to tell me the exit for Jasper Lane was getting closer, I felt the weight of responsibility lifting. For one weekend, I wasn’t Billie Hopkins, the small town graphic designer who baked wedding cakes on the side. I was just Billie, an artist and dreamer, ready to take on the world.

Or at least, a slightly bigger part of it.

The skyline appeared on the horizon, looking like a jagged silhouette within the morning sky. My breath caught in my throat.

“Ember?” I called quietly as my eyes watered. Swallowing back the tears, I gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I wish you could see this. It feels like the first time I’ve ever seen the sun rise.” I craned my head to look up through the top of the windshield, basking in the sight.

“Isn’t it crazy how a different perception can change your view of something you’ve seen a million times?”

We continued to talk for the entire drive from Jasper Lane to Rose Valley Hills, and I was grateful for the distraction. I hated driving for long distances because it was so boring and often hard for me to not daydream.

I couldn’t stop grinning as I entered the city. Towering skyscrapers reached for the clouds as their glass windows mirrored the sun. My fingers itched for my sketchbook. It was my first view of The Hills, and it was one worthy of being captured.

“It’s like… a forest of buildings,” I mumbled. “I’ve never seen buildings this many in number… this huge.”

Ember chuckled. “A concrete jungle, yeah. Much different from our cornfields and dirt roads, huh?”

I nodded, speechless. I merged onto a busy highway, surrounded by a sea of cars. My heart raced with each honk and lane change. They reminded me of Chicago drivers who honked for no reason really. I’d gone there once, for two days, and my anxiety had been through the roof.

“Sheesh, everyone’s in such a hurry,” I said, gripping the steering wheel.

“City life, Bill. You’ll get used to it.”

As I maneuvered through the streets, I couldn’t tear my eyes away. People of all shapes and sizes hurried along the sidewalks. Street vendors yelled about sales or silently made eye contact with potential customers at what looked like a farmer’s market. The energy that filled the air was different, and I was looking forward to taking it all in.

I rolled the windows down, needing to hear more, smell more. “I feel so alive,” I said, surprised by the intensity of my emotions.

Ember snickered. “That’s the city for you. It’s got a pulse all its own.”

I pulled up to the hotel. It was a bit run-down, which would explain the cheap pricing, but it looked to be right in the heart of things. I practically bounced out of the car and was in such a rush to start my trip I forgot Em’s call disconnected from the car and connected to my phone.

“Oh shoot, chile. I forgot all about you,” I admitted with a laugh after pulling my phone out of my purse.

“Clearly.” Ember laughed. “You’ve got all weekend and you’re forgetting about me already. It’s fine, though. I just wanted to make sure you got there safely.”

I couldn’t contain my excitement as I squealed. Maybe a brief change of scenery was really all I needed to boost my spirit. “I’m finally here, Em. Already I feel like I’m where I belong. Something good is going to happen this weekend. I can feel it.”

I spun in a circle, taking it all in. The noise, the smells, the sights, the breeze… it was overwhelming in the best way.

“Look out, Rose Valley Hills,” I whispered to myself. “Billie Hopkins has arrived.”