An Alien for Her Heart (A New Home #2)

5. Varek

5

VAREK

I can see why my brother was drawn to his kahl, even before he knew she was his. Humans are…intriguing. It’s busy out here, and yet Catherine pulls my attention from the hustle and bustle of the town. I would say it’s this madness threatening my being. The one that makes it almost impossible for me to take my eyes off her, but it isn’t. I’m not the only one that’s captivated by her.

More than a few males we pass have stopped their dealings to watch her go by. Some even taste the air, trying to get a hint of her scent.

It makes me walk just a bit closer to her. Enough that they know she’s not alone, and that she belongs…well, not to me. She made it clear she doesn’t belong to anyone nor does she have any plans to. That doesn’t stop me from glaring at the males who look at her in interest.

She can do better than every single one of these fools anyway. Better than me, too.

She doesn’t even notice their attention. And I’m glad, because even though their forwardness makes me bristle, I’ve been doing no better. I’ve been shamelessly staring at her for more than the last few clicks.

She moves with a curious blend of cautiousness and wonder, her eyes darting from stall to stall. There are little movements too, like the way she tucks a stray lock of her mane behind her ear, and the way her lips part slightly as she takes in a particularly interesting display of ripe fruit. Even the way she walks, with a purposeful stride that belies her uncertainty—as if, before all this, she was used to walking with her head high and with a certain poise despite the circumstances around her. It almost fools me. She blends in like a long-time resident, but she only just arrived. This must still be daunting for her.

I don’t want to bring it up, but Zynar told me of what happened to my kahlesta and, in essence, what happened to all of her kind that have left her planet. Including Catherine. I know the Tasqals traveled across the galaxy and took her from her home. When Zynar and I left Karicek, we’d had no choice. The pain of remaining on that ravaged world had been too great. But we knew of others. We knew other sentient species existed.

Catherine did not.

She’s taking this new path the gods have given her incredibly well. I’m impressed as I watch her walk beside me without fear. She doesn’t even seem scared of me or the other predator species going about their day around us.

We arrive at the lodge vendor far too quickly. I’d deliberately parked the truck a few leagues down the street just to lengthen this time, but somehow it passed by swiftly all the same. The entire journey here, sitting in the cab of the truck was increasingly torturous. I’d wanted to say something smart. Or perhaps something funny. Anything, but the words did not come. Even on the walk to get the supplies, I’d intended to converse with her, thinking the busy town would distract enough that I could get to know her better without seeming purposeful about it. I’ve missed that chance, too.

Duty calls, and so I push those thoughts aside and focus on the task before me. The lodge vendor is a grizzled old Kalgonite, with a face like weathered leather and eyes that have seen more than their fair share of hardship. He greets me with a nod of recognition, and we quickly fall into the familiar rhythm of haggling and negotiation.

From the corner of my eye, I’m aware of Catherine watching the exchange with interest, her eyes widening slightly at the array of unfamiliar tools and materials on display. I see her eyes narrow as she tries to make sense of it all. She chooses from the selection of roof material on display, selecting one with a green hue that comes up short to the vibrance in her eyes and even takes over directing the Kalgonite to the type of trim she’d like.

Before long, we have everything we need, with the Kalgonite taking our order of beams and roof material, which he’ll have loaded into my truck by the time we’re ready to leave town. I turn to Catherine, hoping she doesn’t want to return just yet.

“All done,” I say, trying to keep my voice light. “We can get supplies for your sustenance stores now, if you like.” My suggestion is the safest bet. Surely, she can’t reject that offer. Sustenance is always something that’s needed and it would give us some more time out here. Some more time for me to… For me to what? Be around her for a bit longer? Ask her about herself? Get her to talk to me? She doesn’t even want a mate. That should deter this… urge or whatever it is. Instead, it’s still there burning like tiny pinpricks on my nerves.

I hold my breath as Catherine gives me a slight smile, her gaze shifting back down the street.

It’s that loneliness again, isn’t it. It’s why I’ve dragged this poor human into town on an excursion she probably didn’t even want to agree to. I grimace, ready to tell her we can head back now if she wants to, when her face suddenly lights up.

Delicate fine lines crinkle at the corners of her eyes as she turns her green gaze up to me.

“If it’s not too much,” she begins. Too much? It’s not enough . I frown at my thoughts even as I lean closer to hear her over the noise of new customers who have come beside us. “I saw some things when we were walking up here. They looked like fruits. Like…mangos?”

When I tilt my head, she continues, moving her hands in front of her in a motion as if she is sculpting something invisible.

“They were round with red and orange skin. Smooth.”

Realization dawns. “I know just the thing.” Giving a nod to the Kalgonite vendor, I guide Catherine back down the street, one arm reaching around her to protect her side from other pedestrians but not daring to actually touch her. When we stop at the exotic fruit stall, her eyes light up.

“This one.” She reaches for the fruit she referred to as a mahn-goh. “These look amazing.”

She looks up and smiles at me. A genuine one, not those other smiles that don’t reach her eyes, and I pause, staring at her for much longer than I have right to.

“How much is it for these?” She directs her focus at the vendor who tells her a price and begins suggesting other things on his stall as well, piling several different fruits in front of her at once. Some quite bitter and others I’d class as inedible. I frown, about to tell him to back down when there’s a sound nearby. Someone shouts in alarm and a ripple goes through the crowd.

It happens without conscious thought. I don’t realize I’ve moved till I hear Catherine’s soft voice behind me. I’ve put myself between her and the source of the disturbance, my claw reaching for the blade at my hip.

“What’s going on?” she whispers. The heat of her presence behind me spreads across the scales along my spine in a way that makes me want to groan.

“I’m not sure what it is.” But as I strain to see through the milling crowd, I realize that the cause of the commotion is nothing more than a pair of drunken Zilox’s, their voices raised in a slurred and incoherent argument.

I’m just about to relax my guard when one of the Ziloxs stumbles out of the alley and into the main thoroughfare. He’s a big brute of a creature, with a thick, scaly hide and a mouth full of jagged teeth. And he’s heading straight for us, his eyes glazed and unfocused.

Someone cries out as he almost tramples them, his staggered steps sending him straight into the stall beside us. The thing topples, sending wares cascading into the street.

Without thinking, I turn and grip Catherine, taking her with me out of the way as the Zilox lurches past. He’s so close that I can smell the sour reek of alcohol on his breath, can feel the power in his frame as he bumps into me, sending a growl through my throat. This is no place to stagger around in a drunken stupor. He could have seriously hurt Catherine if I wasn’t standing here to block her with my frame.

For a moment, I’m frozen in place, my heart pounding in my chest as I watch the Zilox weave his way unsteadily down the street, irritated sounds and curses from other annoyed shoppers in his wake. But then I feel Catherine’s hand on my arm, and I realize just how I’m holding her. I’ve gripped her to my chest, lifting her from the ground and forcing her to either wrap her thighs around me or hang awkwardly in my arms. And she’s chosen the first option.

Now, I freeze for a whole other reason. Still looking over my shoulder, I don’t dare to turn my attention to the female in my arms, because the moment I do, I’ll have to release her. So I continue watching the Zilox stumble away.

Zynar, that little pile of excrement. He didn’t tell me this is how his human mate feels. I’ve touched her before, even lifted her once, but not like this. It was nothing like this.

Catherine is soft. So incredibly, frakking soft. She’s lithe and yet there is flesh there for my claws to grab and sink into. The thought makes lifeblood rush to the wrong place, and I dare not adjust myself.

Catherine’s breath hitches as she clings to me, her digits digging into the scales on my arms. I can feel the rapid rise and fall of her chest against mine, the hammering of her core-beat echoing through my body like a vibration that aligns with mine.

I close my eyes for a moment, seeking that thing deep inside me that I want to awaken so much. My core-rhythm. But there is nothing there. It’s as silent as it’s always been, and a wave of disappointment swells within me.

I’m hoping again. Hoping against reality while the very essence of my being remains dormant. I’m wanting this female in my arms to be something that she isn’t. And yet, I can’t release her. Despite myself, despite all she’s said in the ride to town, that hope still grows.

I know I should let her go. Know that the longer I hold her like this, the harder it will be to pretend that this is just a fleeting moment of protection, a brief lapse in the careful distance I’ve tried to maintain between us.

But I can’t seem to make myself move . I don’t know what the frakk is wrong with my arms. I can’t seem to let go of the feel of her against me, the way her body molds itself to mine like it was always meant to be there.

And so I stay, my arms wrapped around her like a shield against the world, my head dipping slightly into the soft curtain of her mane. I breathe in the scent of her, a heady mix of sweat and cleansing foam and something else. Something uniquely her.

Catherine suddenly stirs in my arms, her muscles tensing as she begins to pull away.

“Varek,” she whispers, a strange sound in her voice that cuts through my thoughts. “You can put me down now.”

Reluctantly, I loosen my grip, letting her slide down the length of my body until her feet touch the ground once more. She takes a step back, her cheeks flushed and her eyes wide, and for a moment I think she’s going to bolt, to run away from the intensity of what just passed between us.

I’m an idiot. Such a fool. That was too much and far too soon. Far too sudden. If she denies my assistance on her farm now, I would deserve her judgment.

But then she takes a deep breath, and I see a flicker of something in her eyes. Something fierce and determined, a glint of steel beneath the softness.

“Thank you,” she says again, her voice steady despite the tremor in her hands as she adjusts the satchel she brought. She’s frowning, her brow drawn low and her gaze is on the crowd that’s slowly returning to normal. She does not face me. “For getting me out of the way.”

I’ve messed this—whatever it is—up. I’ve messed it all up.

I jerk my chin to my chest, not trusting myself to speak. Not trusting myself not to say something foolish, something that will shatter this fragile truce between us.

But even as I stand there, tongue-tied and uncertain, I can feel the weight of Catherine’s gaze on me the moment I adjust the blade on my hip and look away. Can feel the unspoken questions that hang in the air between us. And behind all that, the stubborn whispers of possibility that tug at the edges of my consciousness.

Frakk.

“We should go, shouldn’t we?” She asks, looking away again and adjusting her tunic and satchel as my gaze shifts back to her. “Before any more of those males appear.”

“Right. Yes.”

Frakkkk.

I know, with a certainty that goes beyond mere instinct, that this moment will change everything. For a terrifying click, I wonder if she felt the hardness lingering in my trouse. I could punch myself if it wouldn’t draw more attention to the fact that I am, indeed, what my siblingkin has often called me in jest. A fool.

She walks slightly ahead of me as we head back to the truck and I pause as we go past another stall with the fruits she’d wanted so much. I open my mouth to stop her, but the mood is ruined, so I slam my jaw shut and continue on. She leads the way to the truck, finding it with zero trouble, and I open the door to let her in. Walking around to the other side, I see the Kalgonite is quick. The back is already filled with the beams, bolts, and roof material we purchased. There’s no reason to tarry.

Opening the door, I find Catherine sitting with her gaze forward. She offers me a tight smile and I admire her effort of trying to keep the air between us amicable, even as something deep inside me twists.

Sitting at the hover controls, my claws tighten and relax, tighten and relax.

Catherine doesn’t say anything. It’s almost like she’s not even there anymore. Her body is here, but it’s suddenly like her presence is guarded away behind some invisible wall. When I look at her, she meets my gaze, doesn’t flinch away, but her smile is that same tight thing. A stretch of her lips as her eyebrows lift slightly.

This won’t do.

“A moment.” It comes out gruff as if all the practicing I’ve done in the wee hors of dawn was for naught. I can’t even apologize, fearing it will come out gruffly too, and as I hop out of the cab, I’m mentally berating myself as I head back down the street.

The fruit vendor’s eyes alight the moment he spots me, probably remembering that we’d lingered at his stall once before.

“Greetings good—” The severity of my brow cuts him off, but all is forgiven the moment I tell him exactly what I want.