An Alien for Her Heart (A New Home #2)

7. Varek

7

VAREK

I ’m despicable.

That doesn’t stop me from pumping my fist along my shaft, groaning at the image I’ve dreamt up in my mind.

Catherine .

She’s against me, her soft body tucked underneath mine as she whimpers my name while I plunge into her. The thought makes my eyes roll back, a groan on my lips that vibrates into the still dark room around me. My tongue flicks against my fangs as I lick my lips, my hips shunting forward underneath the sleep coverings right before my entire frame stiffens.

I imagine her body quaking as she reaches her peak while I’m buried deep within her slit. The thought alone is enough to send me over the edge. A pulse goes through me, warm thick seed flowing over my fist and down my arm as I empty my sac.

I really am despicable.

I stay there for a few moments, staring up at the dark roof above me.

She’s not looking for a mate. What the frakk is wrong with me?

I’m not looking for a mate. I’m looking for my mate. My kahl . Surely, if my kahl was right before me, I would know. Somehow, I’d know she is the one I’m searching for.

Twisting, I throw my legs off the sleeping slab and head toward the washroom. There I clean myself without looking at my reflection. I can’t. I’m pitiful.

When my comm pings in the other room, I almost stumble over my feet and my still semi-hard cock as I rush back into the room for it. I growl when I see who it is.

“What are you doing awake?” My growl does nothing to rip the grin off my siblingkin’s face.

“If you must know, I spent the last few hors pleasuring my mate. What is your reason?”

I sneer at him, feigning disgust. What I’m really feeling is such an onset of pure, raw jealousy that the sneer actually becomes real.

Zynar chuckles. “I had to ping you.”

“For what reason, brother?” I head back toward the sleeping slab, scratching my mane as I wonder what else I can do to pass this torturous dark cycle.

“The human called Catherine.”

I freeze, my complete focus flying back to the screen.

“Has something happened to her?”

There’s a glint in Zynar’s eyes. The only indication that makes me realize my tone has changed from one of indifference to being laced with concern.

“No. Eleanor wanted to know how everything went. We simply…got distracted before she was able to ping you. She is resting now.”

My shoulders sag, some tension leaving my frame as I collapse on the sleeping slab once more.

“Everything went…well.” I grimace, running a claw across my face.

“You are a terrible liar.”

I release a breath and drop my arm. The comm lands on the bedsheets beside me, the dim light from the screen lighting up the immediate area.

Zynar doesn’t prod, even though I know he must be curious. When a few clicks pass with only the sound of him adjusting himself on his sleeping slab, I finally release another breath.

“Tell me again, how you knew Eleanor was yours. When your core-rhythm sung, what happened before that.”

Zynar grunts and it sounds like he adjusts his body some more. “I told you, brother. We mated and then it happened.”

I think about this for a moment. “Do you think if I mate with Catherine, I’d know for sure?”

There’s silence on the other line. Silence for so long that I reach for the comm again and bring it above my face. My mirror image stares back at me, only slightly stockier, slightly older. Zynar tilts his head.

“You think the human is your kahl ?”

The word makes an ache develop in my chest. I shake my head, the motion itself feeling like a proclamation of my failure.

“I think she is beautiful. Captivating in a way I cannot explain.”

“That is how I felt with Eleanor.”

I groan. “Do not give me false hope, brother.”

“It is the truth. There was nothing else to tell me my core-rhythm would sing. If I had known…”

He trails off but he doesn’t need to continue. I already know what he was about to say. If he’d known then he wouldn’t have put Eleanor in such danger. If he’d known he wouldn’t have been so careless as to expose her to his rut.

“I think…” I say after a few moments, shame filling me. That same despicable feeling rising. “I think I want her.”

Zynar grins. “What’s stopping you then, brother? Even if your core-rhythm doesn’t sing, there are other bonds to be had. Humans do not have fated bonds like us. What obstacle—”

“She doesn’t want a mate.”

He stills, staring at me through the device. “She told you this?”

“Loud and clear.”

“Frakk.”

“Indeed.”

Silence descends on us once more and I can tell Zynar is turning over my dilemma in his mind.

“Well,” he says after a few moments, “will you be giving up then?”

I meet his gaze across the comm. “No.”

His grin gets wider and I groan, throwing my head back against the slab as I consider ending the communication.

Because I am Kari. We aren’t known for giving up when there’s something that we want. And I want Catherine.

I just have to make her want me, too.

And then it hits me.

“Zynar.” I lift the comm again. He sobers, noting the look in my eyes or probably the way I said his name.

“Yes, brother?”

“Tell me everything you know about humans. Tell me everything a human female likes.”

The look on his face morphs to something downright devious, and I wonder for a moment if I’m making the right decision.

“The first thing you need to do, brother, is this…”

CATHERINE

I wake like I usually do every morning nowadays. Alone in my new cottage, the soft glow of the sun reflecting inside my window, and the serene sounds of the plains…

Wait.

I ease up on my elbows, squinting sleep from my eyes.

There’s hammering outside. Rhythmic clangs that aren’t usually present in my mornings.

I rise from the bed, rubbing sleep from my eyes as I gather my sleeping tunic around me and head to the front door. Opening it, I realize the morning really is very young. The rays of sun that greeted my window were ones that had barely stretched over the horizon. Walking along the porch, I head toward the sound, only to look up and see…him.

Varek is on the barn roof, stripping the rotten beams. He must have been there for a while because he’s already stripped a quarter of the roof. I stare open-mouthed, forgetting I’m dressed in nothing but some thin linen and that my hair is a tousled mess.

How does he work so quickly? Where does he get this raw strength from? The Raki took an entire week before he managed to remove the roof fiber from the cottage, which is less than half the size of the barn. Never mind stripping the actual support beams underneath it, which took him another two weeks. Varek is one man, one male , and he’s already done ten times what the Raki could do and in less than a day.

I must make some sound as I stand there, barefooted and still in nothing but that thin linen gripped against me, because Varek suddenly looks down and across to where I stand.

I don’t know why I blush. My cheeks heat as if I’ve been caught doing or thinking something I shouldn’t have been.

“Good dawn, Catherine.” That deep voice finds me and sends a tingle from my toes straight up to my center. Goodness. Every pep talk and everything I berated myself about the day before seems all for naught. A shiver goes through me like my inhibitions have been completely reduced to dust.

“Good morning, Varek.”

He walks down one of the slanted beams and comes closer. My heart does a little thud, but this isn’t like when the Raki looked clumsy on the roof and I was scared he’d make a mistake and fall off. Varek’s body is completely sturdy. His steps are sure and firm.

My hair blows in a soft wind, obscuring my view of him for a moment and plastering the thin linen against me.

“You’re awake early,” I hear him say. “I didn’t mean to disturb your rest.”

I brush my hair away from my face, suddenly very aware of what I’m wearing when I find that intense yellow gaze on me. I resist the urge to adjust the linen nightgown and bring attention to it. “Don’t worry. You didn’t. I’m usually awake at this time anyway.”

His gaze shifts to the cottage, then pierces me again. “Will you be drinking your customary heated beverage? I would like to share it with you.”

I blink at him, confused. “My customary what now?”

Varek’s expression remains stoic, but there’s a hint of uncertainty in his eyes as he clarifies. “A brew made with blooms or weeds that you drink every dawn and sometimes at dusk?”

I stare at him for a moment, trying to process his words. “Do you mean tea?”

His face lights up as he places his claws on his narrow hips. My gaze drops and a lump rises in my throat. Much like with human males, there’s that dangerous V-shaped cut of muscle that disappears beneath his trousers.

“Yes! Tea!” His exclamation pulls my gaze back to his face and I pray to God he didn’t catch me staring. “I would like to share tea with you.”

He sounds so excited by the prospect that I smile.

“I don’t usually drink tea in the mornings.” The moment I say the words is the moment his face falls, making me immediately regretful that I didn’t blurt the entire sentence quickly. “But we could share a cup of tea, if you’d like. It’s the least—”

I stop short, knowing what I was going to say. That it’s the least I could do with him making such good progress. But more than that, it’s the least I could do after what happened between us yesterday.

Varek beams again and I swear he stands a bit taller. “I’ll be right down.”

My eyes widen, awareness of how I’m dressed ringing like a bell in my ears.

I didn’t expect him to want that cup of tea immediately.

“Alright! I’ll, uh, just come on in.” I’m hurrying back into the cottage all flustered. Rushing into the bedroom and closing the door behind me all in one breath. Back pressed against the firm wood, I stare at my tousled bed, wondering what the hell is happening. Tea? I don’t even drink tea. But he seems hell-bent on wanting to share a cup with me.

I’m a bit confused and there’s a nervous little spark of energy in the center of my chest that I’m trying my damnedest to ignore. I pull on another of the brown tunics and run my hands through my hair, pulling it into a tight ponytail at the back of my head. When I open the door, my breath stops in my throat.

Varek is inside. Inside my house and he fills the entire front room. Sucks the space away so all I can focus on is him. He turns to face me from where he’d been idly staring at the roof with a frown on his brow. The moment he faces me, that frown dissipates as if whatever he’d been thinking about is pushed to the backburner and I’m all that he can see.

Ridiculous. Where’s my daily dose of reality that I use to keep me in check? Nowhere to be found apparently. Maybe I have to wait a few more hours before I’m knocked down and imprisoned by the thoughts that haunt me each day.

I smooth a hand down my chest and wish I hadn’t. His gaze flicks to the movement, pausing at the gentle lumps of my breasts before he seems to force his gaze back to my eyes.

Oh dear. He doesn’t think I’m attractive, does he? His blatant attention is so shocking, I realize I hadn’t even considered that before.

What’s worse is that there’s a light in his eyes that wasn’t there yesterday either. He folds his arms at his back, causing those chest muscles to flex like they’re waving to me, and gives me his complete attention.

“It’s beautiful,” he says.

I blink at him, my eyelids fluttering. He’s not talking about you, Catherine .

“What you’ve done with the lodge,” he continues, gaze flicking around the interior once more.

See .

I could groan. Shaking my head, I try to clear my thoughts as I walk toward the little kitchen.

“Thank you. I’ve not added many changes, just a few curtains and cleaned up a bit. I’m happy you like it.” I stop just inside the door to the kitchen, looking around for the kettle I hardly use.

“I do.” Varek’s voice makes me jump. He’s so close behind me, that a tingle goes right up my spine. I didn’t even hear him move. So close, just a breath away, but true to his word, he doesn’t touch me.

I clear my throat. “So, tea? What type of tea do you like?” I spot the kettle and rush toward it as if it’s a life vest I need in a sea I’m suddenly about to drown in. It puts some distance between me and the alien hunk who leans against the doorframe, watching me now.

He’s not even being threatening. Nothing in his demeanor says he’s flirting with me either. He simply wants some tea and I’m making a big deal out of it. Poor thing must have been working from the wee hours of dawn and missed breakfast.

“I’ll like whatever you like,” he replies, his words making my gaze pierce his.

“You’ve never had tea before, have you?” For the first time since meeting this species, I see Varek’s ears move. They sort of flex even though they’re planted flat against the sides of his head, their pointed tips disappearing into his—frankly—gorgeous green mane.

He shifts on his feet and I wonder if I’ve embarrassed him. Turning away, I crank the tap and put the kettle underneath it to fill it up. Back turned to him, I try to salvage the situation.

“I don’t usually drink tea but whenever I do, I like mild blends. Something like rose tea or cherry.” I glance over my shoulder. “I asked because I wasn’t sure if you preferred something more intense.”

Something changes in his gaze and I’m not prepared when he says, “Do you like all things mild?”

If I responded immediately, I’d stutter. What does he even mean? “Not all things. Some things I like hard and…” I stop talking, my cheeks heating.

My filthy human brain is doing things it shouldn’t.

He’s talking about food . Just like some people can’t take lots of spices in their meals and others absolutely crave it.

“I’m a mixed bag,” I finally say, shutting off the tap and putting the kettle on the stove. “Sometimes I don’t know what I like until I’ve had a taste of it, you know?”

The stove isn’t like what I’m used to back home. This one is like a funnel that the flame rises through with only a metal platform above it to rest the kettle on. It takes me a few tries to get it started before I turn to face Varek again.

His eyes are glued on me.

“About yesterday—” I start. It’s heavy on my chest. Something that feels like it will always be in the middle between us if I don’t clear the air. But Varek straightens.

“I was out of line,” he says. “As promised, Catherine, I will not touch you like that again…unless you ask me to.”

I’m silenced not by the fact he’s once again taking the blame for the awkward encounter that ruined our trip, but because of the last few words he uttered. “ Unless you ask me to .” That sounds like a damn promise. An oath.

“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have climbed on you like that. I was out of line.” I turn away, opening my crates of dry goods as I search for the tea flowers New Horizons sent in my pack of supplies. The shuffling sounds as I dig are loud, but not loud enough that I don’t catch Varek’s murmur.

“You were not out of line, Catherine. Your touch, your closeness…it was not unwelcome.”

I pause, my hands stilling in the crate as his words wash over me. There’s a gentleness to his tone, a vulnerability there that makes me turn slowly, meeting his gaze across the kitchen.

His eyes are soft, but there’s an intensity there that makes my breath catch. “I apologize if my actions made you uncomfortable, but please do not think that your presence in my arms was anything less than a gift.”

I swallow hard, my heart pounding in my chest. This is dangerous territory. All my demons come rushing forward, pulling me back from this line we’re both tiptoeing around. I don’t know this male. His words shouldn’t have any effect. Heck, his words shouldn’t have been said at all. My touch? A gift?

He speaks as if he really enjoyed it in a way that goes beyond innocent platonic bonds.

But he’s not joking. He takes a step forward, his movements slow and deliberate, as if he’s trying not to startle me.

Painful memories threaten to rise, yet, somehow, I stand my ground.

“I meant what I said, Catherine. I will not touch you again without your permission. But if you ever find yourself wanting to be held, wanting to feel the warmth of another…I will be here. Always.”