Avenger of Sins (SPECTR Series 3, #6)

Chapter 7

SEVEN

Dawn wasn’t far off when John stepped through the hospital room door. Two SPECTR agents stood guard outside; one looked uneasy when John shut the door behind him, but didn’t object. No doubt he knew as well as John that Jo couldn’t hurt a fly at the moment.

She lay in the bed, her skin as pale as the sheets pulled up to her chest. Special flame-retardant sleeves covered both of her arms and hands to prevent her from attacking a doctor or setting the room on fire. The precautions probably weren’t necessary…but John didn’t blame the hospital for taking them.

Jo turned her head slowly, and the expression on her face when she spotted him mingled hope and despair. “Jonny.”

“Hi.” He pulled over one of the visitor chairs and sat in it. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.”

“I bet.” He hesitated, then hiked up his trouser leg, exposing the twisted knot of scar tissue on his calf. “I know what it’s like to be bitten by a vampire.”

Her mouth settled into an angry line. “He—it—did that to you?”

“No!” Not that anything he said was likely to make her feel any more charitable toward Gray, but he couldn’t help but defend his boyfriend. “Another drakul back in Charleston. They’re dead now.”

Jo feebly lifted her right hand; the flame retardant sleeve bugled around the bandages underneath. “They operated, but it had been too long to save my index finger. I might lose the middle one, too; they don’t know yet. And there’s nerve damage, broken bones…”

John winced and let his trouser leg fall back into place. Drakul fangs were built for damage, meant to pierce the thick hide many NHEs grew once possession set in. They bit and held on, blood grooves along the backs of their teeth speeding up the process of drinking their prey dry. Something as complicated and fragile as a human hand had no chance against that brutal power.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “You didn’t leave Gray much of a choice, though.”

“Is that its name?” She shook her head. “I can’t believe, after everything we went through, that you’d work with a demon voluntarily.”

“It’s not the same. It would take too long to explain, but…it’s completely different. Caleb is fine; Gray would never hurt him, the way we were hurt.”

“As if our demons had any choice about that.” She looked away, then back to him. “Did we succeed? Is Lydell dead?”

Kaniyar hadn’t given him any parameters when he asked to talk to Jo, so he answered honestly. “Yes. She died en route to the hospital. Toxicology is pending, unless you want to tell us what Ryan used.”

“Does it matter? She’s still dead.”

He shrugged. “I suppose it doesn’t. I was with her when it happened. Her death wasn’t pretty.”

“Good.”

He sat back, suddenly uncertain. He’d thought she’d feel like him, once Ryan’s influence was gone. “Do you really mean that? Ryan forced you—forced us— to help him. To do terrible things. But he can’t get to you in here.”

Jo stared at him, and for a moment he could see the girl he’d once known in her haggard features. “Selina,” he said. Her name, her real name, which had been taken from her all those years ago.

“Selina is dead. SPECTR killed her.” Jo shifted in her bed, then winced. “Ryan did what he had to. Or what he thought he had to, anyway. But he didn’t need to for long. Once I saw the lives they had…” She met his gaze challengingly. “You’ve seen it, haven’t you? How the people who did this to us skipped away to mansions and wealth, while our lives were left in shambles. They were monsters, and they were rewarded for it.”

A terrible suspicion settled into his gut. Had Ryan reprogrammed her mind permanently? Not on purpose, but he’d put the imprint of himself on them before. Was it happening again? Or had she genuinely changed her mind?

There was no way to know. He looked away first, a heavy blanket seeming to settle over him, bowing his shoulders. “I saw. But you can’t just take matters into your own hands.”

“Why not?” she demanded. “No one else was going to do anything about it.”

“You’re going to be charged with murder!”

“Good,” she said, with such vehemence he looked back at her in surprise. “SPECTR manipulated me. Ryan took over my mind. Now it’s my turn to act for myself.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m going to make sure everyone knows exactly what SPECTR did to us. Operation Mephisto will be exposed to the world. Even if I spend the rest of my life in jail, even if they execute me, SPECTR won’t be able to cover it up any more.”

Could some good come from this? “I’ll be there to back you up with my testimony if you need it. And I hope Ryan will be, too.”

“Do you?”

“He’s—he was—he is my friend.” John swallowed against the tightness in his throat. “Even after what he did. I don’t want him hurt. I don’t want him to die.” He glanced in her direction. “Tell me what his next move is, and I swear to you, I’ll make sure to reach him before SPECTR. If I can just talk to him, convince him there’s another way, I can save him.”

She was silent for a long moment, then sighed. “After all this, you’re still a SPECTR lapdog, aren’t you? Ryan doesn’t want to be saved, Jonny. He wants to save others. He’s making sure scum like Lydell, and Foster, and Harlow can’t hurt anyone else.”

“There are other ways?—”

“Like what?” she cut him off. “Without Ryan, we’d still be ignorant. Oblivious to the truth of our own lives.”

How could he argue with that? Instead, he asked the question Kaniyar had instructed him to. “What about Agent Pittman? Where is he?”

For the first time, regret flickered over her features. “I…”

“He has a family who deserves to know,” John said, though he didn’t know if it was true. Or maybe he did, if Kaniyar counted as family.

Something seemed to go out of her. “He’s dead. We dumped his body in a swamp along the way. I’m not exactly sure where.”

Even though he hadn’t expected a different answer, his heart sank. He hadn’t known Pittman well, but the man had always been a steady presence at Kaniyar’s side. “He didn’t deserve to die. He didn’t do anything to us.”

Rather than answer, Jo turned her head away. And again, for a moment, he saw the girl she’d been all those years ago. “I’m tired and in pain. I’d like to sleep now.”

“All right. Should I send a nurse in to see about pain management?”

“No. I just want to be left alone.”

He rose to his feet, reached out to touch her, then let his hand drop. “Okay. Get some rest.”

“Goodbye, John.”

“Goodbye,” he said, and quietly let himself out of the room.

Gray and Night return from their hunt shortly before dawn. Gray is pleased; they found a werewolf in a park and ate it together. If only there had been an entire pack.

“A werewolf pack in the heart of Atlanta would be bad news for the people living there,” Caleb points out. “They’ve got enough troubles already.”

Bad enough he must worry about mortals he knows but does not care about; now Caleb wishes him to concern himself with ones he has never met. He ignores Caleb, allowing him to talk to the other SPECTR agents at the hospital, until Zahira and John appear. Dark circles show around John’s eyes, and Gray can feel Caleb’s worry alongside his own.

Still, he remains quiet while they go to yet another hotel. Zahira and Night take one room, and they take another nearby.

John strips off his jacket and kicks off his shoes, before sitting on the bed with a sigh.

“The conversation with Jo must have really bothered him,” Caleb says. “No surprise there, I guess.”

What can we do?

Caleb muses a moment. “Let’s see if he’s in the mood for a distraction.”

Caleb sits down by John and puts a hand on his thigh. “Want Gray to ‘power you up’?” he asks, by which he means have intercourse with. Gray perks up; he would like this very much.

“Noted,” Caleb says dryly within their shared brain.

John meets their gaze, his blue eyes troubled. “That’s not why I’m with you. Whatever Kaniyar says or thinks?—”

Gray signals he wishes to come to the fore, and Caleb lets him. “Of course not,” he tells John. “You are ours, and we are yours. I will give you my strength, either through blood or sexual intercourse—or not, as you choose. But that is a small thing, compared to all between us.”

John smiles and frames Gray’s face with his hands. “That’s true,” he says, and draws them down to kiss him.

They disrobe as they go, hands wandering over bared skin. John’s breath comes quicker and quicker, and his erection presses against them. They kiss his skin, pausing to lick or nip, until John finally gasps, “I need you to fuck me.”

“Gladly.” Gray sits up on his knees. “Turn around.”

“Let me get the lube.”

He waits while John does so, rumbling in pleasure as John slicks him. “Sit on my lap.”

Gray guides John’s hips, lifting him so the tip of his own cock is lined up, before pulling John down. John gasps as he sinks down, his body tight and hot.

“Oh Goddess, oh fuck,” John moans.

It is good to hear him like this, untroubled, caught up in the moment. He slips an arm around John’s chest, holding him in place, then rolls his hips in a series of short thrusts. John’s untouched cock bobs in the air, precome leaking freely from the tip. It won’t take much to push him over the edge—but that isn’t what Gray wants.

“Don’t come,” Gray growls in his ear, making John shiver against him.

He increases the tempo of his thrusts. “I-I can’t,” John pants. “Let me touch myself, please.”

It isn’t a true plea; they have made love often enough for Gray to know it is part of the pleasure. “No.”

Caleb’s glee and ecstasy twines with his, shimmers between them as he takes John harder. When their orgasm finally takes them, John moans frantically and grabs the tip of his cock, squeezing hard to try and stop from coming.

It seems to work. “Well done,” Gray says, then licks John’s neck, making him whimper. “Let us taste you.”

“Please.”

He pricks John’s skin with a claw, right at the join of neck and shoulder. Then he fastens his mouth on the small wound and sucks.

It isn’t more than a few drops, but the taste inflames their senses. He stiffens inside John again, drawing a groan from him.

“I’m yours,” John whispers.

“Yes,” Gray agrees. His and Caleb’s, to fuck and love and safeguard.

He pushes John forward, onto the bed, grips his hips, and resumes thrusting. Long and slower at first, then faster, attentive to John’s soft cries, the way his back arches. When the time seems right, he slides one hand around to stroke John, closes his eyes, and lets another orgasm crash through him as John clenches tight.

“Fuck,” John says after Gray has pulled free. He has gone limp, face-down on the pillow, boneless in the aftermath of pleasure.

“You cannot breathe like that,” Gray informs him.

“Wow, that’s super romantic,” Caleb says.

John laughs tiredly and rolls on his side. “Come here.”

Gray does so, fitting John’s back against his chest, wrapping him up in his arms. Within seconds, John’s breath evens out, and he sleeps.

Did we help? he asks Caleb.

“We made him happy, for a little while at least. That counts for something. Plus his exorcist ability should be all charged up now, with two loads of etheric energy in him. And, uh, other things.”

This is good. Content that he has done well, Gray slips beneath their skin.

John woke from dream to memory, so abruptly he lay staring at the hotel ceiling in confusion for a long moment.

What had shaken the memory from his subconscious, he couldn’t say. Only that it returned clear and whole. He sat beside his mom in the front seat of her old car. Trash bags stuffed with all the belongings they could carry were crammed into the backseat and trunk. Mom drove down a trash-littered street, away from their apartment, where even now a sheriff kept watch while the lock was changed.

“Where are we going?” he’d asked.

Somehow, despite the circumstances, she’d managed a smile for him. “We’re just going to stay in a motel for a few nights. There’s a pool and an ice machine—it’ll be just like a vacation!”

It wasn’t, of course. They’d been evicted, unable to pay the rent after Mom lost her job. Dad had taken off years ago.

What was his father’s name? John searched his mind, but there was nothing. Mom was Darlene, he knew that from the SPECTR paperwork they’d uncovered at the Center. Another name nudged his mind—Dolly. She’d gone by Dolly with her friends. But his father was nothing but the vaguest of memories, just a suggestion of features and a feeling of bitterness.

Fuck him, anyway. He’d owed thousands in child support and never paid a dime, that much John did recall.

Now, looking back with the eyes of an adult, he realized how hard his mother had worked to shield him. Getting laid off from her job became “We get to spend extra time together for the next couple of weeks!” Eviction to a motel turned into a vacation.

The motel hadn’t lasted long. Soon they slept in their car and begged for change at stoplights.

Was Dolly, his real mother, even alive? Could he find her again if she was? And if so, would she even want to see him?

He’d been stolen from her, not given away. Not like the other poor souls at the Center. But she had no power to find him, let alone charge SPECTR with kidnapping, if she even suspected they were behind it. Likely she thought he’d run into trouble while out asking for change. Been picked up by a man with bad intentions. Did she think he was dead, his dismembered body in a landfill somewhere?

A certainty crystallized in his heart. Once this was over, he was going to find her, or find her grave if she hadn’t survived the streets. If she still lived, he could finally answer the questions that had surely haunted her all these years.

He’d tell her the truth—the whole truth, no matter if it was classified. SPECTR owed her that much.

What had Jo said? That she was finally going to act for herself, after being lied to and manipulated for so long, both by SPECTR and Ryan. She meant to use her day in court to try and enact actual change.

So what was he going to do?

“What are you thinking?” Caleb asked softly.

John rolled over to face him. “Who am I?”

Caleb’s brows quirked together. “I’m not sure what you’re asking me?”

“I’m not sure either,” John admitted. “I’ve spent half my life thinking I’m someone I’m not. I never had the chance to find out who I really am, I guess.”

Caleb thought for a long moment. “Well, maybe I can help with that. You’re someone who cares about other people. You believe in fairness. In justice. You’re capable of thinking outside the box they put you in, and you push back when you feel it’s necessary. You’re loyal, sometimes to a fault. And you always try to do the right thing, even when it isn’t easy.”

Ryan had asked why he tried to save Lydell, even after everything she’d done to them. He’d acted on blind instinct—surely that said something about who he was deep down.

That was something to hold on to. To build from.

Caleb brushed a lock of his hair back from his forehead. “I can’t imagine how confusing and upsetting this all must be for you. But we know you. We know your heart.” He leaned in and gently kissed John’s forehead. “We see you.”

Emotion thickened John’s throat. “Things might change.”

“Things always change.” Caleb gave him a smile. “I imagine you need to do some soul searching. This is your chance to become more…you. Which means we get more you, too. That’s a good thing.”

John’s phone rang. He picked it up and glanced at the display. “Kaniyar,” he said, before answering it.

“Report to the local SPECTR office—I’ll text the address,” she said without preamble. “Bring both drakul with you.”

She hung up. Caleb frowned. “What did she want?”

John sat up and reached for his underwear. “She wants us to come into SPECTR offices. I’m guessing to talk about our next steps.”

Where was Ryan now? Could they save him from himself?

Jo said he didn’t want to be saved, and she was probably right. But as Caleb had said, John was loyal; that much felt true. He wasn’t going to abandon Ryan if there was any hope of safely stopping him.

I’m coming, he thought, even though that wasn’t how telepathy worked. Please, Ryan, stop this insanity. You saved us all at the Center.

Please, just let me save you back.