Away in a Tentacle Lair

2. Kai

Chapter two

Kai

M y bike screams up to the dark house. Despite housing over fifty family members and staff, there is not a single light on. It doesn't do anything to shed the creepy, haunted look we use to keep strangers from our door. As soon as I left the water, I saw how dark it was. I'm an idiot for not noticing before. I had to run and left that poor guy standing on the beach, thinking I was terrified of him.

I park beside one of the many garages, but my bike lives under the overhang. I'm not important enough to have my own parking space. Nicholas rules the family, and as I'm just the youngest nephew, I get the leftovers.

“Kai,” Jonus calls as I pull my helmet off my damp hair. “You're back late.”

“Marine biologists,” I grumble.

“Fucking convention,” he agrees. It's the same every year. The Marine Centre of Aquatic Research and Conservation brings too many people to the area every year. It would be great for the economy if they bought anything local and supported the other businesses around them, but they don't. And this recruitment nonsense. I get that it is a long way to bring all the candidates for an interview, so dragging it out makes the ticket cost seem worthwhile. I'm not into the seasonal festive shit, but why they pick Christmas is beyond me.

“Gotta earn your keep another way, little cus.”

I huff at him and head to my room to shower. I earn my keep doing what I love, and I'm not changing that because of a marine research centre.

Uncle Nicholas is the eldest of four brothers; he replaced Grampy as head of the family three years ago, just as I was old enough to be considered a man. My easy life as the youngest grandchild ended that day. Managing the reef around the family estate is the best job I could have hoped for. Apparently, we have no legal claim over the water as we do with the land, but we protect it just as fiercely.

After I'm dressed in a fresh pair of jeans and a tight black T-shirt, I head to the kitchen, where my aunties are cooking.

“Can I help with anything?” I grin at my three aunts. They practically raised me after my mum died when I was a kid.

“Cutlery,” Auntie Sophie calls. It's good of them not to ask why I'm back early. It's embarrassing to tell everyone that a scientist scared me off. I'll head out early tomorrow before the crowds gather and do my job. I'm not going to be accused of slacking off.

As I set the cutlery at the table, Uncle Nicholas enters with a beer, laughing with Uncle Frank. I'm the youngest son of the youngest son. As far as curses go, there is nothing worse than a lifelong size disadvantage unless you count the sudden death of my mother.

Gradually, the whole family arrives, and the chatter becomes too much. It would be different in a smaller family, but everyone here has my back.

Other than my dad, the other three brothers have their wives, and nearly half their sons and daughters have partners eating with us. Meal times make me think about getting a plus one of my own. I've never done anything about it because I usually forget these feelings when I fall into bed, but tonight, my mind is playing tricks on me. Mr ‘I just want to ask you a question’ is playing on my mind. Covered from head to toe in neoprene, all I could see was his eyes and mouth, but gah, do I want to see them again?

‘I'm Leo; I'd like to ask you one question.’

I could think of hundreds of questions he could have asked at the time as I ran away from him, ranging from Is that your bike to What's it like beyond the private property sign? It was probably about my family curse, but now? Well, now my mind is playing tricks on me and telling me he was asking me for a drink or dinner or maybe to be his diving buddy.

It doesn't matter because the family curse means he will never get to know any of that. Granny has the final say on who can be welcomed into the family, and it is not marine research biologists.

“Kai? Are you listening?” Carry gives me a nudge, and my gaze lifts. “Can you pass the calamari?”

“Cala-?” I glance down at my shepherd’s pie with a frown.

“You are miles away, bro,” she laughs.

“The Marine Biologists giving you grief again?” Jonus jokes.

“He was creepy,” I defend. “All kitted out and looking at me like he couldn't believe I hadn't frozen my nuts off and drowned.”

“Kai!” Aunt Nellie scolds. “Please keep your balls away from the dinner table.”

I blush, and they all know it's not because they are talking about my genitals. I want to answer Leo's question.

What local wildlife slink around the bay?

Can I suck your nuts?

Where is the nearest supermarket?

Now, I don't care what the question is; I just want to answer it.

Granny is late to the table, diverting the little remaining attention away from me.

“Eat up, Granny.” Aunt Alice serves our matriarch a shepherd's pie, and the family is complete.

“Alex,” Nicholas calls to the waiting man, who is something between an evil henchman and a butler. "Please lock everything down for the night.”

“Batton down the hatches, prepare for nightfall,” Jonus laughs.

“At least everyone is back on time tonight, even if one is here by the skin of their false teeth.” Nicholas glances across at his mum, and I'm relieved she's getting the scolding rather than me.

Granny gives me a wink, almost implying she's only late to save me from being last home. But the grin that goes with the wink says something else. It's a 'Did you see that hottie?' kind of smile.

Yes, Granny, I blush, even though she has no idea what I'm thinking. Oh, I saw that neoprene hottie.