Axes & O’s

43. Nathan

Chapter 43

Nathan

“Kas is passed out,” I tell Lindsey as I walk into her living room. Her tree casts white lights across the small space, and even though hers looks nothing like the one at Fox and Morgan’s, my heart still aches because it makes me think of them.

“Mom is, too.” She smirks.

“I’m surprised she made it till nine.”

“Honestly, I don’t know how I’m awake. Last New Year’s, I went to bed at eight with Kas. Mom actually stayed up past when I did.”

I chuckle, joining her on the couch as she hands me a flute of champagne.

“So…” she says. “You gonna tell me what happened to you?”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Cut the crap, little brother. You’re different.”

“I did quit my job.”

She takes a sip of her champagne. “Yeah, that’s not why.”

“Care to share your thoughts?” Lindsey shoots me an annoyed big sister look, the kind that says, Are you really going to make me say it?

I down half the champagne before I place it on the coffee table. “Something happened at the cabin.”

Her brown eyes glimmer as she frowns. “I figured as much, but I need you to elaborate.”

“I—” I try to think of how to phrase it. “Are you sure you want to know this? ”

She quirks an eyebrow. “Oh, that kind of something?”

I flush and nod.

Her eyes narrow. “Wait. Didn’t you say they’re the married couple who owns Starlight Lumber we all are. You’ve done and accomplished a lot. I know you stayed at that shitty job because you thought it made everyone proud. Maybe it’s time you do whatever it is your heart wants you to do instead of trying to make other people happy.”

I stare wide-eyed at my sister, a little shocked at her insightfulness and that I didn’t realize she knew all that.

“I pay attention, Nathan. I’m your big sister, after all. And I really am sorry if you felt pressured by me. I love you, and I want the best for you. That’s all.”

“Even if I’m jobless and confused?”

She shakes her head. “Even then. But what are you confused about?”

“My life has flipped upside down in less than two weeks. I think I’m bi, and I like a couple who’s been together since they were fourteen.”

“Fourteen?”

“Yep.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

Lindsey pats my thigh. “I guess that’s a little complicated.”

My chest rumbles with laughter. “I asked them to give me time.”

“To what?”

“To figure out if I wanted what they were offering. But the more I think about it, the more I don’t really know what they’re offering long-term. Fox mentioned a relationship, but I don’t know how it would all work. ”

“Have you spoken with them?”

“I sent Morgan a text when I got my new phone and they got reception back, but that’s it. I think she’s giving me space.”

“But you don’t want space?”

I rest my head against the couch and blow out a long breath. “I just don’t know what to do, Lindsey. I quit my job. I have an apartment, a home; I like the beach, surfing. I have friends where I live. What am I supposed to do—move up here if they’ll have me and ask them if I can be a freeloader?”

A small smile tugs on her lips. “I think you’re thinking too much, Nathan. People do long-distance relationships all the time. And you’ll figure out the job—but in the meantime, you have savings, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And you like them?”

“I do.” I think of Morgan’s smile and Fox’s lip twitch, the way they made me feel as if I’d found the “something more” to life I’d been looking for.

“Then why are you sitting here with me?”

My stomach flips, and I sit up a little straighter. “I told you; I needed time.”

“You’ve had time, and I’ve never seen you look how you did just now. Were you thinking about them?” I nod. “And have you stopped thinking about them since you left?” I shake my head. “Then go to them. You should be spending the New Year with them.”

“You’re serious?”

She laughs and pushes my shoulder. “I love you, Nathan. But for the love of all that’s holy, go do what your heart is telling you to do.”

I lean across the couch and pull Lindsey into my arms. We hug for a few moments before I pull back, my decision made. “Can I borrow your car?”

She smirks. “Yes. Just don’t crash into a snowbank. We don’t need two cars out of commission.”

“Ha ha.”