Axon’s Anguish (Shifters of Valo Prime #5)

Chapter 10

Axon

I loved watching Ashley take in the beauty of the room. Her eyes darted everywhere, trying to take in the entire scene. She was so beautiful. She was one of the tallest hu-mans in our dekes and I was one of the shortest sirrets, which made us pleasantly close in height.

My poor vision prevented me from seeing the exact color of her hair, but I could tell that it was light. Not white like mine, but similar.

I had no trouble, however, seeing all her amazing curves. She carried more weight on her frame than the other females, and my hands itched to caress every inch of her.

She looked over at me and caught me looking at her. I gave her a warm smile, and she gave me one in return.

“Come, sit.” I beckoned her over to a small boulder where we could sit together off the ground. I set the torch down in between two large crystals that kept it propped up, letting the light flicker over the shiny rocks.

Ashley joined me on the boulder, and we sat in silence for a time, taking in the view.

“Thank you for bringing me here.” She smiled up at me as she tucked some hair behind her rounded ear.

“Of course.” I set my hand down close to hers. We didn’t touch, but I liked the closeness all the same.

“Thank you for not making me go back home to the mountain. I really needed some time away.”

“I understand. Why did you come out here? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I’d like to help if I can.”

Ashley sighed and looked away. After a beat of silence, I figured she wasn’t ready to tell me what was on her mind. I was about to change the subject when she said, “I...” she sighed again. “It’s hard to explain.”

“We’ve got time.” I assured her. “Go ahead and give it a shot.”

“I’m, uh, I’m what we humans call ace.”

I nodded my head and waited patiently for more of an explanation.

“Ace is a sexual orientation, or a way of describing one’s personal sexual preferences. From what I’ve gathered, most of the women here are heterosexual, which means they are women who are only attracted to men or males. Although I suspect some are bisexual, which means they are attracted to both males and females.”

“So most of the humans are heterosexual, but you are ace.” I summed up her words, making sure I understood everything she was saying.

“Yes, exactly.”

“Is being ace bad? Is that why you wanted to separate yourself from the others?”

“No, it’s not bad, it’s uhh,” Ashley chewed her lip and looked at the ground, avoiding eye contact.

On instinct, I reached out my hand to comfort her, but then I pulled back.

“I’m here for you Ashley. Whatever you say, I’ll support you.”

She tilted her head back up and gave me a nervous smile.

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

She took a deep breath and continued. “Being ace means that I’m just not that interested in sex. There are different ways to be ace, but for me I just don’t think about sex very often. Well, except for when I’m ovulating, then I think about it, but that’s usually just one day a month.”

I nodded my head as I took in this information. Her explanation was clear, but I was still confused about one part.

“Being ace doesn’t sound like a bad thing at all.” I agreed with her earlier statement. “Sex is only one part of life that a person might experience out of the multitude of experiences a person could have, but yet being ace seems to trouble you. Why did this sexual identity make you want to flee to the kala? ”

Ashley looked surprised by my answer, as if she were anticipating a more negative response, which made no sense to me. If I were ever lucky enough to be mated to Ashley, I would be happy to just sit in her presence. I just wanted to live life with her, experience everything this world had to offer together, and if she only wanted sex once a month, I would look forward to it for what it was, the most amazing gift in the galaxy.

“Well...” she looked nervous again. “I’m waiting for luminescence to be mated, and I’m worried that once I glow for someone, and they find out that I’m not interested in having sex, they’ll be disappointed with me.”

As soon as I heard her words, my skin started to itch and my exoskeleton started to rise to the surface. The idea of Ashley being mated to someone else immediately set me on edge, and the very idea of them not being grateful for the mere fact of being claimed by her made me want to fight something.

“If any of the males in our dekes dare to make you feel less than because you do not wish to mate with them, you bring them to me,” I growled.

I clenched my fists and tried to calm myself through some deep breathing.

“I appreciate that, but luminescence is a bond for life. I don’t want to be bound to an unhappy relationship. I’ll have to work out some kind of compromise with my mate. Maybe I can learn to be okay with having sex once a week instead of once a month, and they’ll become accustomed to having less sex than they want.”

“NO!” I shouted. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“You will not compromise for anyone. Luminescence or not, you deserve to be in a happy mating. You deserve to be with someone who won’t require more of you than what you are able to give.”

I was pacing the room now. My exoskeleton covered my arms and hands and I had a strong urge to shift the rest of the way. I wanted to fight whomever this person might be who would dare to be disappointed with being mated to Ashley.

“If his needs are so great, then he can take himself in hand every night while thinking of you.”

I stopped pacing and looked her in the eyes as I spoke through gritted teeth. “Any male who has the pleasure of seeing you naked in the furs, should not need anything more than to simply remember your beauty to find his release.”

“Axon, I just don’t think that’s realistic. I-”

“It is! I know that’s all I would need to come apart.”

Ashley stood there wide-eyed in stunned silence.

“I...thank you.” She chewed her lip and looked down at the ground. Then she furrowed her brows as an aggravated expression spread across her face.

“I hope I end up with someone who won’t require me to compromise, but I need advice for what to do if I’m paired with someone who wants to have sex all the time, like all the other mated couples do. I understand that might not be the case, but I have to be realistic.”

She had a point. We could not control luminescence, and while my solution would be to beat some sense into whomever she’d be mated to, that wasn’t a long-term plan.

“Okay, I’ll help you think of ideas,” I relented. I needed to figure out how to coax luminescence into happening for us. That would be the best solution for us both. Ashley would never have to compromise with me.

“Thanks, I appreciate your help,” the corners of her mouth turned up in a soft smile.

I was feeling heavy-hearted as we walked back to the main cavern. I didn’t like thinking about Ashley being with anyone else, and I especially didn’t like the idea of her compromising her sexual wants or needs. This all felt wrong.