Chapter 11
Caroline
C hristmas Eve at Gram’s has always been like stepping into a Christmas song. Boughs of holly decorating all the rooms, a Christmas tree worth rockin’ around, auld lang syne, whatever that really means.
All our family is here with a few additions this year; Jude and the Parrys. Now that Jude is part of the family (she and Chase might not have gone through with the wedding, but they were about to), she’s been included in every event. I should love it since she’s my best friend and has been since we were babies.
But it’s painful to watch her and Chase be so much in love while I’m relegated to the side almost always. They got to bond together in the lie they told their families. They found someone they trust more than anyone in the whole world. While my world came crashing down around me.
Right now, they’re trapped under the archway into the grand hall in a cycle of mistletoe kisses that is making my stomach turn. I grab tighter to my glass of eggnog and try to look away.
“Isn’t that your third eggnog, dear?” Gram asks as she passes by me.
I narrow my eyes. “And?”
She shrugs. “I’m just saying, that’s hard on the figure. Lots of fat. Sugar.”
I grip the glass tighter. It’s like she knows that I struggled in the mirror before coming here, wondering if the green and red plaid dress I picked out for the occasion was a smidge tighter than usual around my hips. “Yes, I like it that way,” I say with a false smile and then knock back the rest of my drink.
Gram narrows her eyes. “Your attitude, Caroline, is –”
“Gram!” Chase swoops in, wrapping his arm around our grandmother’s shoulder. “I want to give you our gift now. Is that alright?”
Before Gram can protest, Chase has her walking across the room to the pile of gifts under the tree that are meant for opening tomorrow morning. I smile to myself, feeling guilty for all the negative thoughts I was having about my brother just a few moments ago. He always steps in to save me if he can.
Jude appears at my side and smiles. “Having fun?”
I drop my eggnog glass on a passing waiter’s tray and sigh. “Not really.”
Jude’s lips poke out. “How can I help?”
I sigh and then force a smile. “You can’t. Thanks though.”
“Are you still thinking about –”
“No,” I say harshly.
Jude grins. “I didn’t even finish my sentence.”
“I know exactly what you were going to say, though,” I say.
She rolls her eyes. “Have you guys talked?”
“Jude, I’m not talking about this right now.”
“Caroline, I’m your best friend. I know you. You’re looking around at all the Christmas festivities and wishing you could share it with someone because like it or not, Christmas is one of the most romantic times of the year, and who better to think about a romance with than the guy you just slept with,” Jude says, managing to pinpoint my exact thought process in one go.
I glare at her. “Lower your voice.”
Jude cocks her head. “I’m right, am I not?”
I tell Jude everything. Just because she managed to keep the fake engagement from me for two months doesn’t mean I have the ability to keep from spouting off everything about my life to my best friend. So, the second I got back to Savannah, she got an earful about the situation between me and Jake. And she hasn’t let go of it ever since.
To make matters worse, she told Chase. “People in relationships don’t keep secrets!” she said defensively.
“I’m his sister!” I retorted.
Needless to say, the idea of trust and secrets is going to be a bit of a work in progress when it comes to my best friend dating my brother. Thankfully, Chase tries to avoid thinking about my sex life and hasn’t mentioned it to me.
And I hate to say it but she’s right. I’ve been thinking about Jake nonstop since he left my apartment. I think about the way he came into the kitchen and wrapped himself around me, the wanting between his legs and the soft, tender way he kissed me and murmured in my ear.
I hate how it feels like the kind of relationship I want to have once I’m married and have three kids who are all about to wake up. That my husband, whoever he might be, will still find me sexy and want to be soft on me.
Jake was so damn soft on me. No one has ever been soft on me. I’ve always felt like the anxious groveler, the one trying to get a man to pay attention. Sure, they do their thing, chase me down, but the second I give in to them, they’re tired of me.
Jake wasn’t tired of me. He wanted more.
“I’m not giving you the satisfaction of being right,” I say to Jude with a sniff.
Jude laughs. “You’re so full of it, Caroline.”
In my velvet clutch, my phone starts to buzz. I open the clutch with the intent to shut off the buzzing, but when I see the name on the screen, blood drains from my face. Or maybe it rushes to my cheeks. I can’t tell. All I know is Jake is calling me.
“Oh my God, it’s him,” Jude squeals.
“Shhhh! Can’t you be quiet?” I say, glancing around to see if any of the family is looking in our direction.
“Answer it, answer it. I’ll cover for you.”
I don’t need to be told twice. Jake is calling me on Christmas Eve for heaven’s sake. I rush out into the front hall, whipping the phone up to my ear. “Hello?”
“Hey, sorry, I know I’m probably interrupting,” Jake says.
Warmth blooms through my chest. Oh God, I’ve missed him… “It’s okay. What’s up?”
“Well, first of all, Merry Christmas.” The nervousness is apparent in his voice.
“Merry Christmas to you too,” I say, a smile perking onto my lips.
Jake hesitates for a moment before the words come gushing out. “I sent you something. And I got a notification it arrived. But I hadn’t heard anything from you and I want to make sure you got it.”
“You… sent me a gift?”
“I hope that’s alright.” His polite country accent sends shivers down my spine.
“Of course. I mean... I didn’t get you anything, though.”
Jake chuckles. “That’s just fine, I didn’t expect anything.”
I stand frozen in the front hall for a moment. “I… I’ll go check now.” I rush to the front door and throw it open. Sure enough, on the front step of Gram’s veranda is an orange box tied with a brown bow. “It’s here,” I say as I go to pick it up.
“Oh good, well, I just wanted to make sure and – well, I hope you like it.”
“Wait a second and I’ll open it,” I try to say, but Jake continues to ramble.
“Anyway, again, sorry to bother you and Merry Christmas, Caroline.”
I can’t even utter a “Merry Christmas” in return before Jake hangs up. With the small package in one hand and my phone in the other, I don’t know how to make sense out of what has just happened. I sink down to sit on the top step, not bothered by the chill in the air. Gingerly, I untie the ribbon and then lift the lid of the box.
On the top, there is a small envelope. I open it to find Jake’s scraggly handwriting. It makes me smile.
We promised not to be assholes to each other until Christmas. So here’s my last attempt at not being an asshole. Merry Christmas, Caroline Patricia Gladstone .
Jacob Leslie Simmons III (Tripp)
P.S. Please don’t make fun of the Leslie part.
Tears well in my eyes. How can a note that uses the word “asshole” twice pull at my heartstrings like this? The note is so lovely, I nearly forget that there’s a gift under the tissue paper. I unfold it quickly and find inside the most delicate silk scarf I’ve ever felt. I didn’t even recognize the box as Hermes at first, totally stunned to be receiving a gift in the first place.
Jake knows his stuff. Or maybe he knows my stuff. Either way, I’m in shock.
Jude emerges from the house and flanks me. “Oh my gosh, did Jake send you –”
“Yeah,” I say, unable to hide my smile.
She snatches the card before I know what to do with myself. “Caroline, he’s in love with you.”
“Let me see that –” Chase appears next.
I shoot up to my feet and try and retrieve the letter from my brother, but it’s of no use. “Okay, Leslie is a funny middle name,” Chase says, slipping the card back into the envelope.
“Don’t make fun of him!” I say.
“Listen to her. Defending her man,” Jude swoons, grabbing my shoulders. “Sounds like it’s love, right, Chase?”
I hide my face in my hands. “Stop, stop, stop it’s just a nice gift! Nothing more!”
“Sure, Caroline,” Chase says. “And Jude and I were going to get married because we were just friends.”
“This is nothing like that,” I reply defensively.
My brother’s lips quirk to the side in a curious smile. “You’re right. This is the normal way people do things.”
Jude squeezes my arm. “Just think about it, huh?”
I think about it the rest of the night, the scarf tucked safely in my purse. From time to time, I reach in and touch it to remind me that Jake Simmons thought of me on Christmas.
And Christmas is, in fact, one of the most romantic days of the year.