Bailey (Angel Institute #3)

Chapter 20

Twenty

BAILEY

I . Can’t. Breathe.

Gasp.

I cross my arms over my chest and slide down the wall as my legs give out. It’s not so much that they give out, but I lose feeling for them. I think that’s the lack of oxygen. Funny how my thoughts are all fuzzy, but I can figure that out, right?

I’m. A. Mess.

Gasp.

I huddle behind the massive Christmas tree in the Holly Inn’s grand foyer. My heart races from the panic that drove me from the ballroom. The tree’s branches scratch gently against my arm, grounding me in the present moment.

Suddenly, a familiar voice breaks through. “Bailey? What on earth are you doing back here?”

I look up to see Gladys peering around the tree, her golden curls catching the soft glow of the Christmas lights. Her expression is a mix of concern and curiosity.

“Gladys,” I manage to croak out, my voice hoarse from unshed tears. “I... I panicked.”

Gladys scoots behind the tree and settles herself beside me, her presence comforting despite the awkwardness of our hiding spot. She’s shielding me from anyone who might have seen me scramble back here. I lean my head on her shoulder and hiccup.

“Why did you panic?” she asks gently, her voice barely above a whisper. “Are you worried about the judging?”

I take a shuddering breath, trying to articulate the storm of emotions inside me. “Sort of. It’s just that everything’s changing so fast. The way people look at me, talk to me... even the way I feel about myself. It’s like I’m becoming someone new, and I don’t know how to handle it.” I shake out my hands as if I can shake the energy that’s buzzing through me to the floor.

“I understand how you feel.” Gladys’s eyes never leave my face. “There’s no such thing as too much change or too soon. Everything happens in God’s time.”

I shake my head, frustration bubbling up inside me. “But how can I trust that? Sometimes... sometimes it’s hard to feel God through all this panic and pain.”

Gladys’s expression softens, her eyes shining with compassion. “My dear, Christ already suffered that for you. You don’t have to hold on to it. You don’t have to clamp down and try to keep it inside. Give it to Him.”

Her words wash over me, stirring something deep within my soul. The concept isn’t new, but somehow, in this moment, hiding behind a Christmas tree, it takes on a new meaning.

“How?” I whisper, my voice trembling with a mixture of fear and hope.

Gladys smiles gently. “Just close your eyes and pray. Ask Him to take away your pain. Offer it to him. Trust that He will.”

With a deep breath, I close my eyes. The sounds of the inn fade away—the distant murmur of voices from the ballroom, the soft Christmas music playing in the background. I focus on my breathing, on the beating of my heart.

“God,” I begin hesitantly, “I... I don’t know if I’m doing this right. But I’m tired of carrying all this pain and … fear. Please... please take it away. Help me trust in … in Your timing. I’m ready to let go.”

As I pray, something shifts inside me. A warmth spreads through my chest, radiating outward until it envelops my entire body. The knot of anxiety that’s been a constant presence in my stomach for so long begins to loosen. I feel lighter, as if a weight I didn’t even realize I was carrying in my very cells is evaporating from me. And then the healing starts. My dried, cracked heart that I once compared to desert soil, fills with God’s love. The cracks swell until they are no longer there, and I feel whole.

I open my eyes, meeting Gladys’s expectant gaze. My hand flies to my heart, surprised by the sense of peace that’s settled there.

“Well?” Gladys asks, her eyes shining.

I let out a small laugh, marveling at the change I feel. “It’s not like angels started singing or anything,” I say, “but I feel different. My heart is new.”

Gladys beams at me, her entire face lighting up with joy. She stands, brushing pine needles from her clothes, and offers me her hand. “I can start singing if you’d like,” she says with a mischievous wink, “but they’re about to announce the winner, and you need to be in the ballroom.”

As I take her hand and allow her to pull me to my feet, I’m struck by how different everything looks. The foyer, with its grand staircase and glittering decorations, seems brighter somehow. The panic that drove me to hide has faded, replaced by a calm determination.

Gladys gives me a gentle tug towards the ballroom doors. “Come on,” she encourages. “Your future is waiting.”

I take a deep breath, smoothing down my clothes and running a hand through my hair. The nerves are still there, fluttering in my stomach, but they no longer feel overwhelming. Instead, there’s a spark of excitement, a readiness to face whatever comes next.

As I reach for the door handle, I glance over my shoulder at Gladys. For a moment, I’m struck by how perfectly she fits into this scene of holiday magic.

“Thank you,” I say quietly.

She nods, her eyes twinkling. “Merry Christmas, Bailey,” she whispers.

With one final deep breath, I push open the ballroom doors and step inside. The room falls silent for a moment as heads turn in my direction. It seems that the whole town’s been waiting for me so they can announce the winners.

I spot Logan, and our eyes meet. He furrows his brow, silently asking if everything is all right. I offer him a small smile, hoping to convey that I’m okay. Better than okay, actually.

I catch snippets of conversation about the various tree displays. The excitement is palpable, and I can’t help the flutter of anticipation in my stomach.

As I quickly make my way to my station, I’m acutely aware of how different I feel. The change that scared me so much earlier now feels like a gift. I may not have control over how others see me, but I can choose how I respond to their perceptions. I don’t see the world filtered through the past hurts and betrayals; it’s like the filter has been removed by Christ, and I see things with new eyes.

The head judge clears her throat, drawing everyone’s attention. “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re ready to announce the winner of this year’s Christmas Tree Decorating Contest.”

A hush falls over the room. Evelyn and Marcus’s families are here to support them. There’s a reporter from the local paper and someone from the television news crew that’s covering the much more newsworthy gingerbread house contest held in the civic center.

Several of Logan’s firefighter buddies are here, they’re easy to pick out because of their muscles and height. It’s great that they’re here to support Logan, though Axel is hanging around Olivia’s station more than Logans. From the daggers she’s throwing at him, I’m guessing she’s not all that happy that he’s here.

She does smile at her students. There are so many of them, and they’re all crossing their fingers for her.

Mrs. Pennington waves, trying to get my attention. I wave back at her and then drop my arm.

This is it. The moment I’ve been working for is finally here.

Gladys finds my hand and gives it a squeeze. “You doing okay?”

I close my eyes for a moment, centering myself. Whatever the outcome, I realize I’ve already won something. I’ve found a strength inside myself that I never knew existed and a faith that feels unshakable. “I’m doing great.”

I’m standing on the edge of the cliff, just waiting for someone to yell jump. But I’m great.

“We’ve seen some truly remarkable displays this year. The creativity and passion on display are a testament to the spirit of Benton Falls. However, there can only be one winner.”

I close my eyes.

“The winner of this year’s Christmas Tree Decorating Contest is... Bailey Carter!”

For a moment, I’m sure I’ve misheard. But then the crowd erupts in applause, and I feel hands patting my back. A wave of shock and joy washes over me, leaving me breathless.

As I step forward to accept the award, my gaze sweeps across the room. I see Olivia beaming at me, her purple-streaked hair bobbing as she claps enthusiastically. Marcus gives me a thumbs up, his warm brown eyes twinkling behind his glasses. Evelyn offers a gracious nod of congratulations.

But it’s Logan I’m searching for. When I finally spot him, our eyes lock. The pride and warmth in his gaze make my heart skip a beat. I think about all the rumors and what people are saying about us. I think about how I freaked out and couldn’t handle the pressure. I think about who I was when I came to Benton Falls. I put all of those versions of myself in a hot-air balloon and send them off.

Then I think about the person I want to be. She is confident in taking risks. She is bold in her color choices and in being a friend. She picks people like Gladys, who thinks she’s an angel, and Mrs. Pennington, whose best friend is her dog, to be in her life.

She swoons over a certain firefighter with big muscles and a bigger heart.

In that moment, I realize that this victory feels incomplete without Logan–and I don’t care what anyone else has to say about it.

I approach the judges and take the award and the microphone. “Thank you all so much,” I begin, my voice trembling slightly. “This is incredibly meaningful to me, but I don’t want to do this alone.” I extend my hand towards Logan, beckoning him forward. “Logan, would you join me up here?”

A murmur of surprise ripples through the crowd as Logan makes his way to the front. I see people whisper behind their hands, and I’m certain I’m making a scene. It’s fine. This feels right, and I don’t want to let the moment pass without acknowledging the man who had patience with me while I became a new creature.

He takes my hand, his touch sending a spark of electricity through me, and I grin at him. I mean, it’s one thing for me to bring him up here; it’s another for him to hold my hand in front of everyone. The gesture is him telling me that he’s as into this, as into us, as I am. I turn back to the audience, my voice stronger now, filled with emotion. I want to tell him how I feel. I want to tell everyone.

“Logan has become an important part of my life, and while I’m sure I’m frustrating and prickly at times, I want to be my best self when I am with him.” I look up at Logan, my heart swelling with affection. “Logan, if my design is beautiful, it’s because you inspired it within me.”

The room falls silent. I can feel the weight of everyone’s gazes as they hold their breath to see what Logan will do or say, but it doesn’t make me want to run and hide. Instead, I feel a sense of peace, of rightness in this moment of vulnerability.

Logan’s green eyes are shining with emotion as he squeezes my hands in gratitude. Before I can second-guess myself, he tugs me to him, wraps his arms around me, and kisses me. For a heartbeat, I’m frozen with surprise. Then I respond, skating my arms around his neck. He spins me and dips me, which makes me smile and break the kiss. I hold his cheeks so he won’t lean back and kiss him again.

“Merry Christmas,” I breathe against his lips.

“Merr-hmm Mh-stm-dmdm,” he says back.

I giggle, and he spins us both backup and kisses my cheek.

The crowd’s cheers grow louder, filling the ballroom with joy. As Logan sets me back on my feet, I’m aware of nothing but the warmth of his embrace and the love shining in his eyes.

We turn to face the crowd, hands clasped and smiling widely. The applause washes over us. In this moment, I feel a profound sense of accomplishment. Not only did I figure out how to make friends and fall in love, I’ve let a whole town into my heart.

As we stand there, basking in the glow of victory and newfound love, I catch sight of Gladys near the back of the room. She’s beaming at me, her curls shimmering in the chandelier light. She gives me a wink and a thumbs-up. I glance at Mrs. Pennington, who is making a heart sign with her hands and smiling. When I look back, Gladys is gone.

She must have slipped out the door when I wasn’t looking. She’s like the wind, that one—I could never hold her down.

The rest of the evening passes in a blur of congratulations and well-wishes. Logan never leaves my side, his hand a constant, reassuring presence in mine.

As the night winds down and guests begin to leave, Logan and I find ourselves alone in front of my tree. The ballroom is quieter now, the soft glow of the Christmas lights creating an intimate atmosphere.

“I’m so proud of you, Bailey,” Logan says softly, his hand cupping my cheek. “Not just for winning, but for how much you’ve grown. You’ve come so far from that quiet lady who wouldn’t say two words to me on the first day.”

I lean into his touch, marveling at how natural it feels to be close to him. “I couldn’t have done it without you,” I reply. “You helped me see that I have value.”

Logan smiles, his green eyes twinkling. “We make a pretty good team, don’t we?”

“The best,” I agree. I lean in and kiss him quickly.

As we stand there, surrounded by the magic of Christmas and the warmth of newfound love, I feel a sense of peace and belonging I’ve never experienced before. The competition may be over, but I know this is just the beginning of a new chapter in my life. With Logan by my side and the support of the entire town behind us, I’m ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead. Because now I know that true strength doesn’t come from isolation, but from the harmony we create when we open our hearts to others.

This Christmas has truly been a season of miracles, of growth, and of love. And I can’t wait to see what the future holds.