Balor (Balor’s Saints MC #1)

Chapter Six

Belladonna

I stood at the entrance to the mansion’s library. The dark, heavy bookshelves loomed around the room, and the ember glow from the wall sconces only added to the melancholic feel. I took a deep breath and stepped inside, seeing Balor near the back of the room. His gaze was on the book in his hand, but I didn’t think he was reading it. Was he lost in thought?

I approached him, and the silence stretched between us. I could almost feel the tension in the air. He didn’t look up, but I knew he was aware of me. I smoothed my hands down the front of my dress, then twisted my fingers together. I’d faced down my father and run from everything I’d ever known. This man was my future. I could do this. I took another step and toyed with a strand of my hair before tucking it behind my ear. When I bit my lip, I saw his hands clench on the book.

Might as well jump in, right? We’d danced around each other enough already. I knew the sex was hot as hell, and we undoubtedly had chemistry. But I needed more than that, especially if he wanted me to stay.

“I realized I don’t know much about you. I’ve heard of your magick. I know how powerful you are. But I don’t know about Balor the man, only what I’ve heard about Balor the mage , or what your life has been like. I don’t even know your favorite foods, or what you do for entertainment.”

His gaze lifted, and I saw the way his eyes seemed to penetrate me. I resisted the urge to squirm. Had I sounded presumptuous? I’d only now realized hearing about him didn’t make any of it true. I’d spoken about him like I knew the facts, but I didn’t. Those people may have never met Balor, or anyone who knew him. What if they were just rumors, or outright lies?

He set the book aside and sat back in his chair, his posture more guarded. “Is that so?”

“Your favorite hobbies and pastimes,” I said. “What’s your favorite food? What movies do you like? Anything, really. To have a life with you, I think I need to know more about you. And I’d like to understand you better.”

“You would, huh?”

I nodded and swallowed hard. He wasn’t making this easy. Then again, I hadn’t thought he would. “Please.”

The word seemed to make him pause. He let out a sigh and I saw some of the tension leave his shoulders. “You’d think it’s silly, but I enjoy classic literature. I know most people prefer the newer books these days.”

“I don’t think it’s silly at all.” Of course, he’d probably been around when some of those books released. “I like to read too. What else?”

He rubbed his chin and I saw the stubble rasp against his palm. “I have a passion for riding motorcycles.”

“I’d like to see you on a bike one day.”

My voice sounded wistful, even to my own ears. He wouldn’t mock me for it, would he? I probably sounded like some eager, na?ve girl and not a witch who’d had the balls to trick him. But he didn’t say anything at all. I took a step closer and then another. I sank into the chair across from him and stared at the floor. Maybe I needed to start this differently. While I felt like I didn’t know anything about him, he didn’t know about me either. Did it feel like I was prying by asking so many questions and not offering up information on myself?

“Did I ever tell you what my life was like in the coven?” I asked. “What I had to endure?”

“No, you haven’t.”

I nodded and gathered my courage to continue. “My father… was strict. To the point of being abusive sometimes. My mother always agreed with everything he said, and she never stood up for herself. Or for me. I refuse to spend the rest of my life being a chess piece for warlocks.”

“Sounds like a wise decision.”

I let out a breath and nodded. He still wasn’t giving me much, barely responding to anything I said. But I felt like I needed to keep going. “Learning magick was hard. My father always said a woman had no business wielding that level of power. It was a struggle to learn the basics. Even now, I’m not sure I can master the higher-level spells.”

He remained silent and I risked glancing up at him. I saw the way his eyes darkened, but not with anger. Something else. Empathy? Pity? It was the latter I didn’t want. I wasn’t weak. At least, I didn’t think I was.

“One day, you’ll be the greatest witch in the world. I have it on good authority from someone who always seems to see or know what lies ahead,” Balor said. “But you need to have faith in yourself.”

I blinked back tears. “You really think I could be?”

“I do. You have incredible potential. I’ve seen it. You need confidence. I’m not saying it will be easy, but I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

I felt my walls start to crack. No one had ever said anything like that before. The belief he had in me… it was humbling. “I dream of being the most powerful witch. I’d like to find a way to break my father’s control over me and my mother. I don’t want to be at his mercy ever again.”

Balor leaned forward and reached for me. I placed my hand in his and felt the warmth of his touch. “You’ll be free of him. I promise.”

“You can’t know that.”

He tugged me from the chair. He didn’t stop until my knees hit his and he’d tugged me down onto his lap. “You’ve been through hell. Most would have given up by now, but not you. You came here. You’ve made demands. Staked your claim, even if you don’t fully understand what that means. Instead of just a baby, you’ve ended up with a bit more. You’ve faced every challenge thrown your way and you haven’t backed down. Makes me wonder why you think you’ve ever failed at anything.”

“You don’t understand. My father…”

“Is an asshole.” He shrugged when I gaped at him. “I don’t care if he’s a powerful warlock. He’s still an asshole. If he were here right now, I’d rip his throat out. Literally. No one is going to hurt you ever again.”

I saw the way his hands tightened on the arms of the chair, and then he leaned forward. “Your father didn’t just quash your self-esteem. He obliterated it.”

I wanted to argue with him, but I couldn’t quite make the words form. I’d never thought of myself as weak, but I hadn’t considered my father’s actions had damaged me so much.

“You think knowing the spells makes you powerful? Maybe you’re right, but I think it’s more than that. Magick is a living thing, something that runs through your veins. I’ve seen it in you. Felt it. You’ve barely scratched the surface of what you can do. One day, they’ll call you the greatest witch in the world.”

I snorted. “Yeah. Sure.”

“You don’t believe me.”

“Even if you’re right, it’s not like I can just wave a wand and know all the spells. It takes practice, and there are some I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do.”

His gaze darkened. “He’s made you doubt yourself so much you don’t believe you can do these things. Hasn’t he? You have the potential to be greater than anyone before you. I’ve never seen someone with as much raw power as you have. You need to have faith in yourself.”

I felt the tears in my eyes and blinked them away. “Why do you care?”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re mine, Belladonna. How many times do I need to tell you before you believe me?”

“You don’t even know me.” I lowered my gaze. “I don’t know you.”

His thumb rubbed along the back of my hand. “Then I guess we’ll have to fix that. But I think this has been a good start.”

I took a deep breath, my hands trembling slightly. “I want to master higher-level spells. Maybe even lead my own coven one day. I don’t want to be under my father’s thumb anymore. Nor do I want to marry the warlock he picked out for me. I don’t even know why I’m telling you. Maybe because you’ve been kind to me.”

“You came in here for a reason. Asked a few questions and shared a bit of your past. What do you want to know?” he asked. “You said you wanted to know me.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

His lips twitched. “Black. I’m a dark mage. What else would I choose?”

“Favorite food?”

“Steak. Medium rare.”

I watched him, and noticed he appeared more open than he usually did. He really was trying, and I felt my heart warm. “What do you do for fun? Aside from reading or riding motorcycles.”

He studied me for a moment. “Don’t really have a lot of time for fun things.”

“Do you have a favorite book or author?” I asked.

“Frankenstein. Dracula. The Picture of Dorian Gray. Anything by Poe.”

My fingers brushed over his cheek. “I like Poe.”

“Anything else?”

I nodded. “Everything.”

“Everything?”

I bit my lip and nodded again.

He held me closer. “I was born about two hundred years ago. My father was a powerful mage. My mother was human. They both died when I was fifteen. Back then, I was already considered a man.”

My heart ached for him. He must have felt so lost and alone. I knew things were different then, but fifteen was still so young.

“All I had to remember them by was an old spell book that had been my father’s. I lived a solitary life for a long time. Participated in the war, on the wrong side. Caused a lot of damage, killed a lot of people. When it was over, I came here and founded Darkwood. Over the past two decades, I met the men who would eventually become Balor’s Saints. That’s my motorcycle club. We don’t operate the same way most do. No officer positions, even though they sometimes call me their president.”

He’d founded this place? Why didn’t I know that? Was it not common knowledge?

“They didn’t know who I was at the time, and I didn’t offer up that information. They only knew me as a mage. Hell, they still don’t know my real identity. They call me Luke. And now you and two other people know Luke and Balor are the same person.” He paused. “I use a glamour to change my appearance when I’m Luke. That’s how I’m able to hide in plain sight when I’m in town.”

“I’m sorry you lost your parents.” I swallowed hard. “I can’t imagine what that must have been like.”

He rubbed his thumb along the back of my hand. “You’re the first person to touch me in years.”

I blinked at him. “But you’re…”

“Not exactly unattractive?” he asked. “I guess not. But there’s something about me that tends to keep people away. They sense the darkness in me. Those who do want me, either want more than I’m willing to give, or were only a one-night stand. After a while, those get tiresome.”

“You’re not a bad person.”

“But I’m not a good one either. I’ve done things, Belladonna. Things I’m not proud of.”

I leaned in, my gaze on his lips, and I saw the way his eyes darkened. It only made me want him more. “Balor.”

He slid a hand through my hair and cupped the back of my head, holding me in place. “I’m right here, Belladonna.”

The more time I spent with him, the more I realized I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay. With him. I leaned in closer, until my lips were only a breath away from his. His eyes were locked on mine, and I saw the way his pupils dilated.

“What if I asked you to complete our bond?”

His fingers tightened on my shoulder. “Are you saying you want me?”

“I think I do.”

He cupped my cheek and leaned down until his breath mingled with mine. “Ask me when you’re certain. I may have taken you multiple times, but once we truly become one, there’s no going back.”

“Please,” I said again, barely above a whisper.

Balor closed the distance between us, his lips capturing mine. The room fell away, until there was nothing but the two of us. He deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against mine. I clutched his shirt and shifted until I straddled his lap. His hands gripped my hips, holding me in place. I felt his fingers flex and wished our clothes were gone. I’d give him anything. Everything.

I rocked against him, feeling his length pressing against me. He broke the kiss, his breaths coming out harsh. He cupped my face with his hands and rested his forehead against mine.

“Not like this,” he said. “You deserve better. If you truly want us to be bonded, then I’ll consider it. But not today.”

“If that’s what you want.”

He closed his eyes and I saw the way his jaw tightened. “It’s not what I want at all. You’re in my blood, Belladonna. So deep I can’t get you out.”

I saw the way his throat worked as he swallowed. “Then take what’s being offered.”

His gaze met mine again and I saw the hunger in his eyes. “Not yet.”

I felt like I was missing something. Did bonding mean something different for him? Even though I’d been told he was a mage, and he’d admitted as much, he didn’t seem like the average sort. It made me realize how little I knew about the differences in him and others of his kind, much less Balor and any other supernatural being I’d ever met. It was almost like we weren’t even speaking the same language.

He urged me to stand, and I felt bereft the moment I was no longer touching him. I reached for his hand and he let me take it, let me lead him from the library. I didn’t know where we were going, but I knew I didn’t want him to leave. He walked at my side, our fingers entwined, and I felt the weight of his gaze.

“Can we spend more time together?” I asked.

“Of course. What would you like to do?”

“Do you have a TV? I haven’t noticed one.”

He smiled faintly. “There’s one. I’ll show you where it is. Are you wanting to watch a movie together?”

I nodded. “Can we have popcorn too?”

“There might be some in the kitchen. Let’s check, then we’ll head to the den.”

I didn’t know why he’d referred to it that way, until I saw it. Once we had some popcorn, he took me to a room that felt like it was in the center of the house. No windows since it was flanked by rooms on every side. He snapped his fingers and wall sconces lit up. Twinkling lights covered the dark ceiling, making it look like the night sky. I’d never seen anything so beautiful before.

“I love this room.”

He kissed my cheek. “I’m glad. It’s one of my favorites. Get comfortable and I’ll find the remote.”

While I settled on the couch, I watched his every move, admiring the lines of his body and the way his muscles bunched and flexed. I’d come here with a goal, but I had a feeling I was going to end up with so much more. Balor was changing my life. I wasn’t sure he truly realized how much. Being a guy, he could very well view things differently from me. What I thought was a huge deal, might be inconsequential to him.

I could only hope that maybe I’d change his too -- for the better.