CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Jenson
H olly’s looking at me as if I’m a fucking meal. As much as I want to enjoy her eyes on me, I can’t help the vicious reminder of how she ran last night. I can’t even be mad. I say no strings. How many times have I been the one to get away from a potentially intimate moment?
Every single fucking time but one.
With Holly, I want more, and I need to make that crystal clear. Although, with my best friend and his girlfriend, Holly’s sister, here, this might not be the best time.
“I see his manners haven’t improved,” Layton grumbles, getting to his feet as Gizmo waddles over to Holly.
“He was just checking out the intruders, that’s all,” she says, scratching his head. Lucky mutt.
“Sorry, man, I’ll take him home. Come on, boy,” I say, slapping my leg. Gizmo whines at Holly’s feet.
I get it, man. I really do.
“Come,” I repeat.
Finally, he relents and follows me out the door. I head for home when I hear the door open behind me. I’m hoping it’s Holly chasing after me, but instead, I get a big grizzly bear bestie with a scowl.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Currently, I’m heading home to shower, then I’ll be heading over to my grandma’s why?”
“That’s not what I fucking meant, Jenson. What are you doing with Holly?”
“Excuse me? Holly is a grown woman, who I happen to have a lot of fucking respect for, so you better watch what follows that question.” My hackles rise, and for the first time in my friendship with Layton, I want to knock out the motherfucker.
My answer makes him baulk, and he takes a step back. I clench my jaw, my fists balled and ready to fly.
“I’m just worried because Holly is a sweetheart. I’ve known her just as long as I have Daphne. She’s practically my little sister.”
“And I’m not good enough. Trust me I know, man.”
The fact my best friend doesn’t think I would be good for her hurts more than Holly running away last night. My heart feels broken as it sits in the acidic pit of my stomach. I feel sick. The only thing keeping me upright is the anger still coursing through me.
“Don’t do that. Don’t put words in my mouth,” Layton counters. His anger is long gone, but mine’s far from it.
“You and I both know that’s what you meant.”
“No, it isn’t. You’re a good man. You’ve just got this no commitment way of doing things, and I don’t want Holly getting hurt. That’s what I meant. I see I got it all wrong since you want to fight me right now, so I apologize,” he tells me, putting up his hands in a show of surrender.
It’s got me loosening my fists and taking a much-needed breath, but I still feel like shit. He’s not wrong, but it isn’t just him being protective of her. I know the woman of my dreams is keeping up her guard, too.
“Now, you want to tell me what’s going on?”
I take an another deep breath and run my hands over my face. The truth is, I don’t, but I also realize I could use some advice before I go batshit crazy.
“I love her.”
Saying the words out loud lifts an invisible weight off my shoulders. My chest feels lighter, and my head seems to clear. It’s so fucking true. In a blink of an eye, the tiny elf next door preformed a Christmas miracle and made the Grinch grow a heart.
Layton looks at me with wide eyes before finally busting into laughter. My brows knit.
“What’s so fucking funny?” I ask with no malice. My anger gone now, and I actually crack a smile as the big brute laughs at me, ears springing to his eyes.
“I’m sorry. Well, kind of sorry, since you’re the asshat who gave me so much shit for Daphne,” he says, taking a step closer and slapping his big meaty paw down on my shoulder. “In all honesty, though, I’m really fucking happy for you. And for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you for knowing a good thing when you see it.”
Fuck, that hits deeps. Layton and I have been good friends for years, but we’ve always skirted around serious conversations. I know I’ve presented myself as a clown on more than one occasion, so for him to believe I’m worthy of Holly means more to me than I thought it would.
“Thanks, man.”
Layton nods, a serious look on his face. He squeezes my shoulder. “Now, what do you plan to do about it? Does Holly know how you feel?”
“Oh, fuck, we’re talking about feeling now? Gross.”
That makes him chuckle, but I sober, knowing I need to make it clear to Holly I want all the strings she’ll give me. I probably shouldn’t drop a bomb like I love you quite yet. I’ll scare her off.
“I need a plan. Things between us are good, but she’s guarding herself from me. Scared of her past and mine. I’m not great with saying the right things, Layton, and I can’t fuck this up.”
“I’m supposed to say something profound here, but unfortunately, it’s like the blind leading the blind. You have to tell her, but maybe, do something to show her how you feel. That way when you inevitably say something stupid you won’t completely fuck up. She’ll get it. Trust me on that.”
“How do you know?” I ask.
“I saw the way she looks at you. Holly cares for you a lot. Try not to worry. Just be yourself.” His words go to my head, and I grin with a small amount of relief. I’ve still got to come up with a way to show Holly how I feel. Layton’s words of wisdom do help. It means a lot to me that he finds me worthy, but can I pull off a Christmas miracle?