Beast, Part Two (The Church #5)

Bestie

chapter six

Summer

I ’m sitting on the couch facing Trina. Gabe is fast asleep with his head in her lap after he spent an hour telling his godmother all about his new family.

Once Gabe fell asleep, I was able to give her the watered-down short version of what’s going on. I’m now waiting for her to say something.

“So,” she starts. “You mean to tell me you’re trapped in a house with nothing to do for an unknown amount of time with all those fine ass men I just met?”

I shrug, not sure where she’s going with this. “Yeah, I guess so.”

She shakes her head, and then looks up at the ceiling with prayer hands. “God, I’m just asking that the blessings you give to others you will give them to me.”

I shove her arm as I laugh. “Really, girl? That’s all you took away from what I said?”

“Summer, did you see those men?” She whispers lowering her voice. She glances over her shoulder. Even though we are alone, I’m pretty sure they aren’t far away from us.

“Especially the older guy with the gray hair. You know I like older men.”

Shaking my head, I roll my eyes. “I think he’s married. Just like you.”

Maksim has been giving me the rundown of the house. I know that mostly everyone here is either married or dating. I’ve yet to officially meet any if the guys outside of Maksim and Priest. Emory and Malia came to see me the day after I woke up. Apparently, the brother her boyfriend was looking for was Gabriel. The other ladies of the house have also introduced themselves.

Trina waves me off sinking back into the sofa. “I know how to look and not touch.”

She gets comfortable before she looks me over. Her eyes narrow.

“Are you okay? You look off.” One of the issues of having a best friend that knows you so well is that she knows when something is wrong.

Slowly, being careful with my shoulder, I lean back on the couch beside her.

“I relapsed.”

Trina leans up so fast she almost knocks my baby on the floor. She readjusts him in her lap before speaking. “Bitch, What?”

“Relax,” I say holding up my good hand. “The doctor prescribed me Percocet. I initially turned them down, but I had a weak moment and took them for two days. But I fought the demon and flushed them down the toilet on the third day.”

Flushing those pills was harder than getting out of that bed by myself. However, I knew it was what I needed. When I found myself impatient for my son to leave the room for the night so I could toss back a pill, I realized I was losing a battle. And no matter how much my heart hurt, no man was worth going back down that dark road again and jeopardizing my son.

The next morning after flushing the addictive pills down the toilet, there was a bottle of extra strength Tylenol beside my bed. Someone knew my struggles with opioids and got me a safer alternative. I’m still not sure who placed those pills there, but I was thankful.

Trina cuts her eyes away before looking back at me. “I’m proud of you for tossing the pills and telling me.”

I nod, happy that I had a friend that had my back.

“What caused you to fall off the wagon?”

Sighing, I reply. “He called it off.” I can feel the tears ready to fall again. I look up to keep them at bay. “I know it’s a stupid reason to let five years of hard work wash down the drain just for a man.”

“Not just any man,” she says placing a hand on my knee. “Your child’s father, and the man that you love. Broken hearts hurt like hell. I can vouch for that.”

She leans back. Our shoulders touch. She gently slides her fingers between mine on my injured hand while her other strokes Gabe’s curls. Just having her touch and her strength eases me a little.

“I know why he’s running away from us. He blames himself for me getting shot.”

“Rightfully so.”

“Trina,” I turn and glare at her.

“What? Look, one of his looney half siblings tried to kill you over some beef between the two of them. I’m not saying he’s fully to blame, or he should beat himself up over it, but I understand why he is blaming himself.”

With a shake of my head, I understand his thought process too, but that doesn’t mean I agree with it. Like I said, he didn’t pull the trigger and him not being with me didn’t stop making me a target.

I explain this thought to Trina.

“You’re right. But you know men think differently. Besides, I believe him breaking up with you is more of his punishment not yours.”

Turning to look at her, I lift my brow. “What do you mean?”

“The very few encounters I’ve had with baby daddy told me that not only is he madly in love with you, but he’s also very cautious around you. Like, he thought that at any moment he would wake up and it would all have been a dream. He looked at you as if you were a gift he wasn’t worthy of. You getting shot by one of his enemies proved his theory right. Because you were injured, he thinks he doesn’t deserve you.”

“That’s insane.”

“Duh,” she shrugs. “But he’s a man. You know they’re all stupid.”

I don’t argue or correct her for generalizing men.

“How do I change his mind?”

“You don’t,” she says bluntly. “You let him stew in his stupidity until he realizes he can’t live without you.”

Knowing what I know about Gabriel, I don’t think that plan will work. He strikes me as the type that even if he realized he couldn’t be without me, he would still never be with me. He’s stubborn.

Sighing, I lay my head back against the couch. “I don’t know. Part of me wishes I could just take my baby and run.”

She laughs. “We both know he’d hunt you down and drag your ass back.”

At that, I had to laugh because she’s right. No matter what Gabriel says about our relationship status, he wouldn’t let me disappear from him.

“Besides,” she goes on to say. “If what you said is true, you need to be here with these people where it’s safe.”

“You mean to tell me you and Mr. James wouldn’t keep me safe?” Although I had no plans of running, I still make the joke.

Trina waves my words off. “You know James and I would go to hell and back for you and Gabe. But sexy grandpa and fine ass uncles seem to be better suited for the job.”

I chuckle but sober quickly. Leaning a little closer to her I whisper. “I feel a little out of place here. I don’t know these people and the only connection I have is to their son and brother who I am no longer with. Maksim has been really great to me, but even he is new to them. What if they realize I’m not worth the headache to keep alive. They might toss me out on the street.”

“If that’s the case, you call us and we’ll come get you, but Summer, you’re overthinking. You’re going to be fine. What’s not to love about you?”

I look at her and quirk a brow. Trina has known me all my life, she knows who I am. She tosses her head back and laughs.

“You might have a point. But just remember, they’d never get rid of Gabe and you two are a packaged deal.” We both laugh at her joke.

For another hour and a half, I spent time with my best friend. Before she left, Priest reminded her that she can’t tell anyone where I am. She doesn’t even need to let them know she’s spoken to me and under no circumstance should she come back to this house. Lucien even showed her how to wipe this last location from her GPS and he set up an app on hers and my phones where our calls to each other can’t be tracked.

Before she left, Trina told me that she wasn’t the only one looking for me. Apparently, my mother has been trying to get in touch with me too. She even called Trina looking for me. I’m not yet ready to speak to my mother.

By the time I was climbing into my bed, it was close to midnight. Gabe decided to sleep with me tonight instead of in his shared room with Emory. He was fast asleep on the other side of the king size bed.

Maksim had not too long left the room. He usually sits with me until I am ready to call it a night. Movement underneath my door has me climbing back out of bed and walking over to it. I pull the door open only to come face to face with Gabriel.

No matter how hurt or angry I am with this man, the sight of him will always have my heart hammering and my breath catching in my throat.

He doesn’t speak or move a muscle. He only stares down at me. Without speaking a word, I know what he wants. I roll my eyes as I turn and head back for my bed, leaving the door open. Everything inside of me is telling me to send his ass on his way. I shouldn’t allow him his comforts. Yet, I don’t say anything. The soft sound of the door closing behind me and then the ruffling of his shoes against the carpet tells me he entered the room.

Once I climb into bed, I spot him taking a seat in the corner of our room. His back is to the wall, and he can see the entirety of the room along with the door. I don’t know who he is protecting us from considering we are in a house full of his family and 80% of them are trained killers. Still, I don’t deny him this small access to us.

Sliding down in bed, I wince at the pain in my shoulder.

“Move slower,” his deep voice says.

I scoff. “Now I’m supposed to believe you care about my pain?”

He flinches at my words, his light eyes staring at me.

“I’m sorry—”

“Don’t,” I cut off his apology. “I’m only allowing you to sleep in here because I know it comforts you and unfortunately your presence still calms me. But I don’t want to talk. And I definitely don’t want to hear your meaningless apology.”

Even though what Trina said made perfect sense and I know he’s torturing himself, I didn’t want to hear his apology. He chose to run when he promised he wouldn’t. No, he didn’t leave like he did the night we made Gabe, but he is still running.

Turning off the lamp, I shroud the room in darkness. The only sound besides the whirring of the ceiling fan is the soft snoring of my baby boy.

“You know you can’t leave, right?” he says, letting me know he was somewhere listening to my conversation with Trina. The way he says it, it was almost like a threat. It wasn’t just a reminder, but a warning that what Trina said was true. No matter where I went, he’d find me and drag me back.

Sighing, I reply into the dark. “I know.”

He doesn’t say anything else.

I try to quiet my thoughts. This was the hard part of the day. It’s why I started taking those pills. The last three months play back in my head. The time I spent with him, the way he made me feel so seen and desired, the way he knew me better than most people in my life. The way he held me at night when we would lay in the bed together. The way he made love to me like our souls were connecting or he was afraid he’d never get the chance to do it again. Even the way he looked at me when he asked me to have another baby for him. All of it plays back in my head like one of those sad romance movies no one watches more than once.

My heart again feels like it’s breaking. The tears come anew. I know what Trina said, but his refusal to be with me still feels as if I’m the issue. As if I’m the one not worthy.

As silent as I try to be, my sniffles fill the room. He never says a word. Eventually, I fell asleep, my face soaked in tears.