Beast, Part Two (The Church #5)

Levels Out

chapter twenty-One

Summer

I hold on to Gabriel until I hear the soft click of my bedroom door. Even then, I don’t let him go as he carries me over to the bed.

He places me on my feet and pulls away from me, cupping my face in his large hands. His green gaze roams all over my face. When his eyes lands on my neck, he looks disgusted.

Look, I won’t lie as if that wasn’t the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. Even the time he lost control back at my house, it wasn’t as terrifying as this. He looked deranged, evil almost, as he told me how much he wanted to kill me.

However, I hide that fear. Tuck it down inside me. Now was not the right time to bring it up.

Gabriel leans his forehead to mine. He takes a deep breath and blows it out before placing a kiss where his head once was.

He lets me go and steps away.

“I’m going to finish this mission with my brothers and Priest and then I will disappear for good. You and Gabe will always be taken care of. And you don’t have to—”

I cut him off with a belly laugh. I don’t know what’s so funny, but I laugh. I laugh until my laughter turns into tears.

“Summer,” he calls my name and tries to reach for me, but I step away.

“I have got the be the dumbest person in the world,” I tell him. His gaze narrows and his brow pinches. “I mean here I am trying to hold back my feelings and emotions after being nearly killed and you can stand in my face and tell me you want to leave. Everyone was right.”

“Did you not hear what they just said? I am a defect. I have a disorder.”

“And you think because they gave it a name, it changes anything?”

I won’t lie. Hearing Priest tell me his diagnosis was scary. Hearing words like schizoid, schizotypal, and sociopath aren’t easy to digest. Hell, they are downright the things of nightmares.

But giving his condition a name doesn’t change how I feel. I loved him when it was just his mother’s voice in his head. I loved him when we thought it was autism that had him void of emotions sometimes. I loved him even though I watched him beat a man with a hatchet, stab my ex, and shot gambler. I loved him when there was no diagnosis. Giving his condition a label does not change the love.

“I am not safe. Why don’t you understand that? No one around me is safe when I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t. I’m fighting voices in my head,” he roars.

“And I’m fighting them with you,” I shout.

He grabs the back of his head and looks up at the ceiling.

“Look at me, Gabriel?” he shakes his head, refusing to look at me. “Look at me,” I demand.

When he lowers his head, his eyes are red, and tears linger on the lids.

“I have been choked, cursed out, and threatened by you,” he turns away, but I continue on.

He needed to hear this. I finally fully grasp what Priest said to me that day in the kitchen. By holding back how I felt about the things Gabriel was doing made him think he had to walk on eggshells with me. If he never knew how I was feeling, then he would never know that I can accept him for who he is.

“There are times you scare the hell out of me. I’m not afraid to admit, there are moments I am terrified of you.” The tears he was holding falls down his cheeks.

“But even in those times, I never question if I want to be with you. Your diagnoses do not change how I feel about you. They do not make me want you any less. I will stand up to every voice in your head. I will battle them for you until I take my last breath. But I will not fight you to love you. I will no longer beg you to stay if you don’t want to. You can leave.” I hold my hands out at my side.

“I love you,” he growls.

“I’m not questioning your love. I am simply asking you if you will stay.”

I realized the night we had sex and his eyes spoke volumes of his love for me, that love was not our issue. It is and will always be Gabriel’s urge and desire to run from us.

He shakes his head. “It’s not that simple. I will die for you. I will kill anyone—”

“You were killing before you met me, and you will kill after I’m gone. That isn’t the flex that you think it is. My question is simple, Gabriel. Will. You. Stay for me?”

He backs away, placing space between us.

“I don’t have this under control. I don’t even know what it is. I could snap and—”

I was done with the excuses. I was done begging this man to choose me. He had valid points. We didn’t know what his diagnosis meant or what all it would require. However, all I need him to understand and accept is that no matter what, we face it together. I needed him to know that even though the world would be difficult, as long as he was willing to stay, I’d face the difficulty with him.

Turning away from him, I head to the door. I didn’t need to further this conversation. It was yes or no. His inability to answer was answer enough. I make it all the way to the door before his voice stops me.

“I’ll stay,” he shouts desperately.

I turn to face him to find tears streaming down his face.

He takes a step toward me. “I’ll stay despite my madness and the voices. Even when the world gets so dark I can’t see any light, or when everything inside me begs me to leave, I’ll remain. I will stay by your side until you take your last breath, and even then, I will follow you into the abyss.” He stops in front of me and cups my face in his large hands. “Baby, I will stay for you.”

My heart knocks against my chest as tears spill down my cheeks. I lift on my tiptoes and place my lips to his. His mouth opens immediately and allows my tongue to dive inside. Our kiss is needy, reckless, almost violent in our desperation to show how much we need each other.

“I love you,” I moan against his mouth.

He grabs the back of my thighs and lifts me off my feet. I wrap my legs around his waist. He pins me to the door behind me. When he pulls back and stares down at me, there is darkness in his gaze. But this darkness doesn’t scare me. It excites me. It tells me I’m in for a long night.

He grabs the collar of my shirt with one hand and tugs it, ripping it off my body in tattered shards. My breasts fall free. He lowers his head and suctions his mouth around my right nipple. I hiss as I arch my back pushing more of my breast into his mouth. My nipple feels a bit sensitive, but I enjoy the ache.

He snakes his tongue from my breast up my chest, to my neck where he bites softly at the flesh before placing his lips back on mine and pushing his tongue into my mouth.

I dig my nails into the hair at the back of his neck. He carries me over to the bed and gently lays me down. When he lifts his body from mine, he stares down at me. He grabs the waist band of my yoga pants and tugs them down to my hips along with my panties. I lift up so he can drag them down my legs until he tosses them to the floor.

Gabriel spreads my legs into a wide v. He runs a hand through my pussy lips smearing my wetness over my nub. He watches his fingers separate me as if he’s watching his favorite movie.

“Ooh, yes,” I moan as he slowly strokes my sensitive clit.

Removing his fingers, he then places them in his mouth, sucking my essence off. Once he’s cleaned his digits, he lets spit dribble from his lips onto my mound. He then inserts his finger into my warmth using a scissoring motion. Flipping them around, he motions in a come here gesture while his thumb circles my bud.

My eyes roll to the back of my head as pure pleasure has my limbs tingling. I can feel my orgasm fast approaching. My body starts to shake.

“Keep those legs open,” He demands. His green eyes never looking away from where his fingers are making magic.

“Gabriel,” I cry out when my orgasm crashes. My body convulses, feeling as if is malfunctioning.

He pulls his fingers out of me and then unbuckles his jeans. I sit up in the bed, ready to place his length in my mouth. He shoves his pants and boxers down to his ankles. Getting up on my knees, I wrap my hand around his large erection. Returning the favor, I spit on the head of his cock before using my hand to rub it into his length getting it wet. Before I could put it in my mouth, he gives me different orders.

“On your back, head off the side of the bed.”

I obey his command, flipping around. Once I’m in place, he pinches my chin and tilts my head back. I open my mouth as he places his dick inside. At this angle, I can manage to get more of him down my throat. He pushes in until his balls brush against my chin. I choke, causing my eyes to water. He pulls out, allowing me to breathe.

“Relax your throat,” he suggests. “Let me touch your tonsils.”

Like the obedient freak I am for him, I do as he says. He pushes into my mouth so deep I fight to breathe.

“Through your nose,” he advises.

Again, I listen to his command, and it becomes much easier. Gabriel rolls his hips as he pushes his length in and out of my mouth. He tosses his head back and moans.

Seeing how good I’m making him feel and hearing him moan has my thighs rubbing together, I move my hand down my stomach toward the apex of my legs. I find my nub slippery wet with my essence. I twirl my fingers around it. Even though it’s sensitive from the last orgasm I had, I don’t stop.

Suddenly, my hands are knocked away.

Gabriel’s fingers replace mine as he continues to fuck my face. He plays with my clit, making it harder as I get close to coming again.

I moan around his cock when he slips a finger inside me. The sounds my pussy is making should be embarrassing. But it feels too good for me to care. He pulls his digits out and pinches my clit. I shoot off to Mars. This time, I scream as the orgasm shakes me to the core. I don’t even know when he took his dick out of my mouth. Once I come down after my second orgasm, Gabriel grabs the back of my neck and lifts me up.

“On your knees,” he orders.

I get to my knees. He pushes my upper body down into the mattress. My ass is so up in the air my pussy farts. Without a warning, he enters me with a strong thrust that has me crying out and rocking forward.

His hands come down on my ass with a hard smack before he rubs the ache. “Don’t run.” He doesn’t stop his strokes as he makes the command. His hips smack against my ass. He’s feeding me every inch of his dick.

“Uhhhhh, shit” I cry out, placing a hand at his thigh to keep him from going too deep. He grabs my arms and holds them behind my back as if I’m being arrested.

“I’ve been craving this pussy since the last time I was in it,” he grumbles. “You think you’re keeping me from it now? This shit is mine, Summer. Mine.”

“Fuck, yes. It’s all yours.”

He pulls out of me. Before I can ask a question, I’m on my side with a knee under my chin and the other one straight out. He places one knee on the bed before directing his length back at my opening. He pushes back in. I cry out at the new angle. He strokes me slowly and deeply.

“I love you, Summer. I fucking love you,” he moans as he works my body.

Sweat has his hair sticking to his flushed face. He looks absolutely handsome. I reach out a hand for him. I want to feel his skin against mine.

He pulls out and climbs on the bed. I roll over onto my back. As if he knew exactly what I wanted, he pulls his shirt off before getting on top of me. His body fits snugly between my thighs. He adjusts himself back inside me before pressing his chest to mine. I cup his face as I stick my tongue into his mouth. Our kiss is back to that desperate one from earlier.

From this angle he doesn’t get to pull out as far, instead he does a simple pull out and grind. The move has his brittle pubic hairs brushing against my sensitive clit. He lifts his upper body up a little, caging my head between his hands. His strokes are deep and slow. My eyes roll back into my head, my nails dig into his back as he fucks me so deep my lower stomach moves with his motion.

Gabriel has fucked me every which way but loose, he has sexed me so good I couldn’t walk the next day. But this time, we make love. He’s not fucking me, he’s making love to my soul. He’s tying his fate to mine.

When I open my eyes and my brown clash with his green, I see everything he is trying to tell me. He’s showing me he means what he said. He will stay. He lowers to his elbows and seals our lips together again. His heavy pants meet mine.

“Come for me,” he whispers against my wet lips. “Leave your mark on my back and fucking come for daddy.”

I erupt like a volcano. My scream bounces around the room, my vision goes out, and I wet his dick up. Gabriel lets out a growl that turns into a loud moan as he releases inside of me. His hot semen bathes my walls. Once he’s done, he falls to the bed, turning me onto my side.

Panting, I try to catch my breath, feeling weak. However, the head of his cock presses to my opening. He lifts my leg over his hip and pushes back into me.

I whimper at the intrusion.

“You thought this shit was over,” he chuckles as he starts to stroke in and out of me again.

I guess I won’t be going anywhere for a while.