Beautiful Noise

Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

K ori.

Cyan Indigo Bleu

I smiled when my pseudonym flashed across the screen in hues of translucent blue. It took me a solid month to build my site but every second was well worth the time spent.

The landing page was simply my name, Cyan Indigo Bleu, in a bold font. From there you could navigate to moods to find poetry that fit each of those respective moods. What I learned about feelings and emotions was sometimes you had to embrace them. Sitting in your emotional turmoil wasn’t always counterproductive. We often attempted to find a quick fix or solution for being sad, angry, or unappreciated.

There were times when it was necessary to settle into all the feels , good or bad, to find understanding. Also, if you didn’t fully accept those emotions, you would cheat yourself with the ability to understand yourself and how you process. My site offered poetry that matched all feelings and emotions.

Today I was feeling grateful. My life was still chaotic. but at least for the weekend, I could relax and allow myself time to figure out what was next. Life didn’t stop, but I could breathe for the next seventy-two hours. Being on my own had taught me to be a glass half full spirit and sometimes that was the only thing that kept me from completely losing my shit.

After navigating to my back office, to upload my latest creation, Still Standing, which I loaded in the inspiration room, I then moved onto my favorite and sometimes least favorite place. Reviews.

My site was linked to my social media page which currently had a little under half a million followers, which was still mind blowing because all I posted were my poems and random pictures that inspired me. I wasn’t an artist, or a lyricist, but all these people embraced my words. It felt good and I appreciated each and every one.

Katy: I think I’ve read “Hard Lines” at least a million times. I know it line for line, word for word. It helped me make the decision to leave my ex. It’s in my head when I consider opening up to give someone a chance to hold my heart in their hands. You’re amazing and if no one ever tells you, just know that you are.

“Hard Lines” was a poem I’d written after a tough break up in college my sophomore year. My boyfriend at the time was selfish. I was young and accepted his selfishness because what little he gave me made me feel loved, seen, and relevant. There was so much I didn’t know about myself back then, but I learned that there were hard lines to what I would give of myself.

Jazzy B: I need to know the inspiration for “You Make Me Feel”. Girl that man had you turned inside out. Your words are so dope. I’m glad I found you.

I grinned, remembering the man that was nothing I needed but everything I wanted. A broken heart could make you reckless and sometimes being reckless was the best medicine for a broken heart. My recklessness had happened during the summer after my senior year. A lot of sex and no regrets.

I scrolled a few more reviews and decided it was time to get to work. I swiped out of the app on my iPad, shoved it into my backpack, and refocused my mind on the reason for being here. Twenty minutes later, dressed in a tank top and boy cut panties, I moved down the hallway dancing, pushing a microfiber mop which I occasionally used as a makeshift microphone while belting out lyrics to the songs blasting in my AirPods while I cleaned.

Currently in rotation was Waka Flocka’s “Round Of Applause” which I performed while rapping the lyrics. I had one of the best nights of rest I could recall in months because I’d slept on a very new, Sleep Number bed in one of the six guest rooms I was supposed to be cleaning for a client. A client whose house I was squatting in for the weekend and not feeling any remorse about whatsoever.

I pushed the mop left and right, winding my hips while the slightly damp microfiber padding glided across the imported bamboo floors. Once I made two complete passes, I yanked the plastic handle into my chest, dancing around it with my eyes closed while rapping along to one of my favorite parts.

“Round of applause, baby make that ass clap

Drop it to the floor, make that ass clap

Let me see you, bust it, bust it, bust it, bust it, bust it, bust it

Baby drop it to the floor and

Bust it, bust it, bust it, bust it, bu-bust it, bust it”

The second round of “bust it” was highlighted with me dropping it low until the last one then I was upright again and spinning on the balls of my feet where I got the surprise of my life.

I had company and the surprise guest caused a screech to belt from my lips while I stumbled back, slipped on the slick flooring, and landed right on my ass.

The woman standing a few feet away arched her brow as I dislodged my AirPods one by one, closing them into my fist while I attempted to recover from the crash landing I’d just experienced.

“And you are?” the woman quizzed, taking in me from head to toe. It wasn’t until that very moment that I remembered I wasn’t fully dressed.

Shit.

“Kori, I’m with Elite Cleaners. We were hired to do a deep cleaning…”

“And not scheduled to be here until Monday according to the email I received. Today is Saturday. I would bet my ass that your current attire is not an approved uniform.”

“Well no, it’s not but I…”

“You were expecting my son and not me but let me be clear…”

She paused and out of pure nerves I belted out my name, which she repeated snidely.

“ Kori , dancing around my son’s house half-naked while cleaning won’t get you any brownie points with him and most certainly not with me. You can pack up and be on your way and I’ll be reaching out to Ms. Dior about this little stunt.”

Shit, she thinks I’m trying to entice her son. Whoever the hell her son is.

“Wait, please,” I yelled, scrambling to my feet. The woman turned on her heels, lowering her chin as she peered at me the way a teacher would a misbehaving student. I swallowed hard after managing to stand to my full height.

“You’ve got the wrong idea…”

“I’m not sure I do, dear.” My arms instinctively crossed over my chest when I noticed the woman’s eyes moving across my body with scrutiny. “You’re prancing around here in your underclothes cleaning my son’s house.”

“I am but not because I want anything from him…” I threw my arms in the air. “I don’t even know who your son is. They don’t give us your personal information…”

“So you’re saying they don’t provide you with names of the clients you’re scheduled to clean for?”

“I mean yeah they do but there was no name attached to this one. Just a company. One I don’t recognize. So I swear I have no idea who your son is.”

My emotions got the best of me and I began fidgeting uncontrollably in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. With the weight of everything I had been dealing with over the past six months lingering like a heavy storm cloud, I was inching closer and closer to my breaking point.

Why the hell did I think this was a good idea?

I’m going to lose my job and probably go to jail?

“Okay. So if that’s true, and you don’t know who my son is, then how about you explain why you’re here on a Saturday, cleaning and dressed like that when you weren’t scheduled to be here until Monday. I suggest you explain fast because I’m on a tight schedule and need to get this little situation handled so I can catch my flight. So if you don’t want me calling your boss and the cops …”

The dam broke.

“Oh God, please don’t do that. I’ll leave. I swear I’ll leave and I didn’t steal anything. I slept here last night but in one of the guest rooms because it would have been wrong to sleep in your son’s room. But I didn’t know it was your son. I just knew the house belonged to somebody and if it were my house, I would have been hella pissed if a stranger slept in my bed. I swear I’m not crazy and I’m not here trying to seduce your son, whoever he is, I just…” I bawled, shaking my head. “I didn’t have anywhere else to go and I figured since the house was empty and I had to clean it anyway and not just clean it, but deep clean it, and this place is ginormous, and it’s just me, what would it hurt to get started early. That’s why I’m here and the only reason I’m here. Please don’t call my boss.”

My body trembled with anxiety. I took two cautious steps forward, clasping my hands together, throwing myself at the mercy of a stranger who at the moment seemed unimpressed and very unforgiving.

I sobbed, silently waiting for the woman to say something, anything, and after a prolonged torturous silence I gave up and closed my eyes, inhaling a calming breath. One that did very little to calm me.

“I’ll go. I really am sorry. I know I have no right to ask but please don’t call my boss. I need this job. I really need this job and if you call her, she’ll fire me.”

I turned to walk away, not caring that I’d just made a complete fool of myself. All I could do was silently pray that this woman would take pity on me and at the very least, allow me to leave without calling the cops or my boss.

“Kori…”

At the sound of my name, I whipped my head around, swiping away a few last straggling tears, but I kept my mouth shut.

“Put some clothes on and meet me in the kitchen.”

“Huh?”

“I said…”

“No, I heard you. Meet you in the kitchen?”

“Yes, dear, the kitchen. Now hurry. I’m limited on time and don’t forget pants.”

“I…okay but why?”

I sucked in a sharp breath when the woman arched her brow in challenge. “What difference does the why make? Unless you’ve just lied to me, you don’t have anywhere else to be, yeah?”

“I don’t. I didn’t lie,” I rushed out.

“Wonderful, then clothes and kitchen.”

“Right, clothes and then kitchen,” I muttered, not moving until the woman had rounded the corner and was no longer in sight.

When I made it to the guest room that had been my temporary safe haven for the weekend, I quickly yanked on a pair of jeans and a tee before I collected my things from the room. I hadn’t brought in much.

Only a few changes of clothes, a charger, and the toiletries I needed for the weekend. Once I had everything shoved into my duffle, I slipped my feet into a pair of running shoes and brushed my hair into a ponytail.

Because of a recent big chop, it currently lacked anything resembling manageable unless I put effort into styling. At the moment a mid-sized ducktail resting at the nape of my neck was the best I could do to look presentable. I had a feeling this woman didn’t give a damn how I looked. She wanted me out of her son’s house and wanted to see to it personally that I was no longer employed with Elite.

Sucking in a deep breath, I lifted my duffle, rolled my shoulders back, and headed to the kitchen where I was greeted with a curious look after a once over from the waiting woman.

With a flick of her wrist, she issued a soft command. “Have a seat.”

Hesitantly, I settled into the seat furthest away and allowed my hands to rest against my thighs beneath the table.

“I’m Gwendolyn.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Is it?” She smirked and I frowned in annoyance but shrugged nonchalantly, being honest this time.

“Considering the circumstances, no.”

This woman actually laughed before she leaned back and smiled at me. “How about we start with why you’re squatting in my son’s house.”

“Are you going to call my boss?”

“Depends on what your story is?”

“I don’t have a story.”

I did actually, just not one I wanted to share.

“Everyone has a story, dear. Some are more interesting than others and from the way you were just bawling your eyes out, I’d guess you have a really interesting one and I’d love to hear it.”

“Why?”

“Sweetheart, haven’t you learned that the whys are insignificant in the grand scheme of things? Now, let’s start with your family.”

“That’s easy. I won’t be what they want me to be so they pretend I no longer exist and refuse to support me.”

“I see there’s a lot to unpack there. What’s the short version?”

I stared at her, questioning whether or not to be honest. I didn’t know this woman and when it was all said and done, she could change her mind and have me hauled off to jail. Hell, she never said she wouldn’t. For all I knew, that was her plan.

“My mother and father are both traditionalists. Very established in their prospective career fields. They both work for the school system. My father as a principal and my mother in administration. All my life, it was understood that I would have a respectable career. One that aligned with their ideals of what success looks like. They not so gently nudged me in the direction of becoming a professor.”

“And that’s not what you wanted.”

“No. I went to college, graduated with honors with a degree in English. My parents networked on my behalf to secure a TA position at my father’s alma mater and the day before I was supposed to start, I spiraled and completely fell apart. I found the courage to admit to them that being a professor is not what I wanted for my life. When they asked what I wanted, I drew a blank, which led to them criticizing me for wasting their time, efforts, and money. In my defense, how could I know what I wanted when they spent the past twenty something years telling me what my life would be? You can’t pull inspiration out of your ass on the spot that way, with no thought or consideration, after being programmed to think, feel, and believe in one way of life.”

“Interesting.”

That was all she said and I couldn’t read her mood. She wasn’t giving anything away.

“I suppose, but the more and more I thought about spending the rest of my life being my parents, the more I realized I had to figure something else out. It started with small panic attacks until they became full blown. Once, I was convinced I was having a heart attack. I just?—”

“Did what was best for you and completely shattered your parents’ dreams at the same time.”

I frowned hard. “It wasn’t about them. It was about me . Shouldn’t I be allowed to live my life the way I want and not how they planned for me? Every single detail was outlined by them , including the man they wanted me to marry.”

“Oh, good, I’m glad you brought that up again. So you’re not married then?”

“Heck no. I have no direction with my life. Why would I marry someone who intended to manipulate me for his benefit?”

She smiled softly. “I’ve found it best not to assume. Just because you bailed on the life plan they laid out didn’t mean you bailed on the marriage too.”

“I wasn’t marrying a man I barely liked simply because my parents thought we made sense together, and by made sense, they meant he was a respectable guy from a good family.”

“A professor as well I assume.”

“No, a podiatrist.”

“So education and feet. That’s a unique combination. I’m sure dinner conversations about your day would have been stellar.” Her tone was mocking and teasing and I couldn’t help but smile.

Who the hell is this woman?

The more I thought about it, the more entertained I became. Maybe I was truly crazy or maybe I was just experiencing one of those temporary moments of delusion because I laughed, hard. So hard, in fact, I was crying again, but this time the tears made me feel much lighter than moments before when I felt terrified that I was going to be fired and thrown in jail.

“Education and feet are not sexy at all,” I managed to get out after my fit of laughter.

She chuckled lightly. “No, they are not. Teaching is a respectable career, as is podiatry. However, together the two are quite unappealing. After you refused to follow your parents’ plan, I assume things shifted between you.”

“Shifted is putting it lightly. They gave me an ultimatum. Settle into my position as a TA and begin working toward my PhD or get out of their house and I could no longer count on them.”

“So you left?”

I laughed sarcastically. “Oh I didn’t just leave, I jumped on the back of a motorcycle that belonged to the first man who smiled at me for longer than five seconds. After tossing up the middle finger to my parents, I was on my way to Atlanta from Houston.”

“How long have you been here?”

“A little over a year. The first nine months with Darren, the wanna be rapper who so graciously gave me a free ride out of town. The last six months I’ve been on my own. He and I didn’t work out. It didn’t take me long to discover that he had a nasty habit of sticking his dick in women he wasn’t living with and sometimes even brought them home to do so in our bed. The only part of the rapper lifestyle he seemed to get right was being very free with his private parts.”

“I can see how that could be a problem.”

“It was a big problem, so I left. It’s not cheap living on your own. I did okay for a while but then the place I worked closed unexpectedly and I was scrambling trying to find a job that paid enough to cover my expenses. I got behind on rent, my landlord changed the locks at my place yesterday, and now, here I am.”

She was quiet, staring at me as if trying to make sense of something. Just when I assumed she was going to throw me out on my ass, she smiled widely and said the last thing I expected to hear.

“Were you with Darren because you hoped his career would take off and you would be launched into a life of luxury?”

“No. I had no clue that was his life plan until after we made it to Atlanta. I foolishly hadn’t asked a lot of questions. I wanted as much distance between me and my parents as possible, and well, he was cute and didn’t ask many questions either.”

She stared for a long moment, as if considering my words, but then smiled.

“My son is out of the country. You can stay here until you figure out your next move and I won’t be calling your boss, so you can thank me for that as well. But unfortunately, I have a flight to catch. So you’re still going to have to get this place cleaned up before Ezren’s home.”

“Ezren?” I frowned and she nodded.

“My son.”

Her son’s name was Ezren. Why the hell would she assume any woman wanted to seduce a man named Ezren? He obviously had money but I couldn’t imagine he was a lady killer. He was probably some nerdy business tycoon who had millions in the bank because he spent most of his time handling corporate mergers.

“Oh, right. But why would you invite me to stay in your son’s house after everything I just told you?”

God, I hated to ask, but this might be a set up. The second she left; the cops could show up to haul me away.

“Because I like you.”

“ Like me? You don’t know me.” I frowned.

“Oh dear, I know you a lot better than you could ever imagine. For now, let’s just say I have a good feeling about you and I trust my gut. It’s never steered me wrong. I like you, Kori, and because I do, I’m giving you permission to stay here until you figure things out.”

“What about your son? I’m sure he might not agree with having an unwanted stranger living in his house.”

“Technically, it’s my house. I own Grand Diamond LLC. He puts most of his properties under the corporation to maintain privacy. Ultimately, I’m the majority shareholder. If he has any issues with you staying here, he can take that up with me. How he feels about the decision is not for you to worry about.”

She stood and stepped behind the chair she had been in, placing her hands on the back. “Do we have a deal?”

“Deal? I’m not sure this should be considered a deal. You’re the only one offering something.”

“You’re getting the house in order, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but I was hired to do so. You hired me, which means you’re paying me, through Elite of course, but same difference.”

She flicked her wrist and softly rolled her eyes. “Well I’ll think of something. For now, you stay. Get things in order here.” She stepped away, walking to the refrigerator, prying the door open and immediately closing it back before turning to face me. It was empty, I had already checked.

“I’ll have groceries delivered. Any allergies I should be aware of?”

“No, but I can’t let you do that. I haven’t agreed to stay. And if I do, having a roof over my head is enough. You don’t have to feed me.”

She smiled softly, locking her hands in front of her body. “I don’t have to feed you but that’s exactly what I’m going to do. You can’t clean this place on an empty stomach.”

Why did my stomach pick that exact moment to agree by growling so loudly I was sure the neighbors now knew how hungry I was.

Oh good Lord.

Her smile expanded. “Looks like that’s settled, and as for you not staying, you’ve already mentioned you have nowhere else to go, yeah?”

“I don’t but…” My head shook softly. “I just don’t know why you care.”

I was emotional all over again and her rushing toward me, throwing her arms around my unsteady frame in such a comforting and loving manner, didn’t help. I was sobbing again. I hadn’t been hugged in so long and missed feeling as if I mattered.

“I care because there was a time when I needed someone to be a shining light for me. Consider this my way of paying it forward.”

“But…”

“No buts. Just say thank you.” She pulled back, holding my hands in hers as she stared at me waiting.

“Thank you.”

“Use this as a reset. A chance to exist and be at peace even if it’s a temporary fix. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good, now that that’s settled, I have to be going. Groceries should be here in a few hours. You finish cleaning, maybe this time with your clothes on…”

I barked a laugh.

“Definitely with clothes on.”

“And relax later. I assume you can cook?”

“Enough to survive,” I admitted.

“Good then. Cook yourself something special, open a bottle of wine, and enjoy one night of not worrying about what’s next. Promise me you’ll do that.”

“I promise.”

She walked over to the table and removed her phone from the purse sitting there.

“Give me your number so I can get in touch if I need you.”

“Uh, sure.”

I rattled off my number, she left me hers, then she was gone. For the first time in months, I felt like I could actually breathe. Even if it was temporary, I’d take what I could get.