Beautiful Noise

Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

K ori.

This was my second night standing backstage while I watched Ezren perform. The beauty in how this man owned the stage was a visual I would never tire of. Leijah went on first, doing three songs, and now Ezren was at the end of his set. And during their joint performance, the smile on my face threatened pain as they harmonized words I knew by heart. Words I had written.

The impromptu performance from Houston was more intimate. I preferred the intimacy to what I watched tonight, only because in Houston, Ezren sang for me. On stage, he sang to the adoring fans. But regardless, this man on stage, his soulful voice promising things that made you believe in love, had me mesmerized.

His head was tilted toward the stage. A seductive smile teased at his lips while his large hands cradled the microphone. The muscles in his arms challenged the strength of the black T-shirt that hugged his biceps while his jean clad legs were spread in dominance, adding to the promise his beautiful voice delivered.

I’m gonna make you scream, you said I’m your dream

Reality’s so very sweet, when I’m diving in deep

Oh, fuck.

I was so gone over this man and he knew. He brought the women in the crowd to their knees and I was no different. My pulse raced, my heart beat erratically, and the minute he dropped his chin a little deeper, angled his head to the side, and that sexy smile of his was sent my way, everything around me blurred until I felt his eyes on me again.

I blinked him back into view at the same time he sang, “You make me want more than I believe I deserve, you make me want more than I can express with mere words. You, it’s all about you, you, it’s all I can do, it’s you…”

All the air I held in my chest left on a slow exhale. His eyes were on me, not the crowd, and those brown eyes said so much more than I could make sense of before he walked to the edge of the stage, bowed his head, and rasped his final words to the crowd. “I love you, Dallas, goodnight.”

The crowd spiraled in a chaotic chorus, screams professing their love for him while he crossed the stage heading right to me. Leijah met him halfway but his eyes never left mine. Not even when he extended an arm offering his hand, fingers spread wide to her as she neared him. Her hand met his and she swung her eyes over her shoulder, smiling giddily at me before she made it center stage, causing eruptions from the crowd.

“ Oh-my-fucking goodness, Dallas, is that man everything or is he everything ?” she sang and for the second time tonight, everything around me blurred except for the man she was referencing. Not her praises for Ezren or the crowd’s reaction and confirmation that they felt the same. Only him . His fingers gripped my hip, yanking my body to his, and his mouth crashed with mine. The energy radiating from Ezren was electric and wild. His tongue was greedy when it pushed through my lips and the rhythm of his heartbeat matched mine when our chests collided from the rough way he handled me.

I felt his smile before he pulled away. I sucked in a deep breath and tipped my chin enough to catch his eyes. “You were good,” I exhaled on a low breath.

“I was inspired.” He lowered his mouth to mine once more.

“Hmm…” I hummed through an amused grin. “That definitely explains why you just topped Lauryn.”

His smile was beautiful and devious after the low rumble of his laugh danced across my skin. “That’s really fucked up but a win is a win.”

“Lover boy, come holla at me for a minute.” Ezren lifted his eyes over my head briefly then I had them again.

“I’m kinda busy, Clay…”

“I see that but it’s important.”

A low growl rumbled in his chest, which brought a smile to my face. “Go, I’m going to watch Lei. She said she had a surprise for me and I needed to watch.” I lifted onto my toes and stole a quick kiss before dipping around him and moving closer to the stage, toeing the line of black tape that marked the start of crowd visibility.

I smiled over my shoulder as Clay held Ezren in conversation then turned toward the stage and smiled, watching Leijah own the crowd just as Ezren had done. They were two sides of the same coin. She was in her element and I loved that for her.

“How are y’all feeling tonight?”

Chants of appreciation roared from the crowd while I watched Leijah’s face split into a huge grin.

“Sounds like you’re feeling good, Dallas. I hope that means I didn’t disappoint.”

The crowd went ballistic again but this time shouted specifically about how they felt for Leijah.

“I’m honored Dallas and guess what? You’ll be the first to know that as soon as we touch down in Atlanta, I’ll be in the studio recording my first album. Thanks to you and the love you’ve shown, my first single ‘If’ will be released soon. Very fucking soon.”

“ If”, her first single.

My words, her voice, my fucking words and she was announcing this to an arena full of people who were going crazy with the thought of my words and her voice being recorded and released as her first single.

“And just so you know, I have the best fucking songwriter in the world. So if you love ‘If’ then you better be ready to keep my first album on heavy rotation because Cyan Indigo Bleu is locked in and we’re about to do some amazing things…” she paused and smiled my way. “I would bring her out here but I’m pretty sure she would murder me. What I want all of you to do is pull out your phones, pull up your search, and type in Cyan Indigo Bleu. Go follow her right now because she’s amazing.”

“I can see now I’m going to have to take your phone tonight.” The warmth of Ezren’s body met my back. One arm looped around my waist, the other around my neck before he planted a kiss there.

“She just exposed me.”

“In a good way though and I see she wasted no time putting your name out there. I think she’s trying to make sure you don’t bail.” His voice was laced with amusement.

“I wouldn’t.”

“I know but that was insurance. Clay just let me know the label was pleased with the traction she’s getting and they want her in the studio as soon as they touch down. They’re planning on having the first single out next week.”

“Is that what he wanted to talk to you about?” I tossed my head back so I could see him.

“He wanted to know if I would record the song we did as a bonus track but he also asked if I knew what your availability looks like. They want to get you under contract and writing for Lei.”

Things were moving fast. My transition from poetry to songwriting was happening.

“Ri, stop.”

“What?”

“Overthinking. The words are there. Once you hand them over, she’s going to do her thing and breathe life into them.”

I tried to push away but Ezren tightened his hold around my waist so I turned against him and angled my head back. “Contracts mean expectations. This is her career.”

“She knows the expectation. Clay does too and they still want you. Stop stressing, baby.” His hand gripped the back of my neck and his face lowered to mine. “I believe you can do this. They believe you can do this but none of that matters if you don’t believe it too.”

“I do,” I rushed out and he smiled sexily, arching his brow.

“You damn sure don’t sound like it.”

“I can do this,” I said with more confidence.

“Alright then.” His mouth met mine for another kiss. “You can do this and you will.” His eyes flicked past me toward the stage as Leijah wrapped up her goodnight speech with the crowd. Seconds later a mischievous grin was on my mouth. “I’m having a performance adrenaline rush and we have about twenty minutes before the VIP meet and greet.”

My core clenched with the realization of what he was expressing and I knew exactly what I was going to do about it.

I sat in one of the small lounge sections watching while a gang of women surrounded Ezren and Leijah in a corner near the step and repeat set up on one side of the small room we were in. The turn out for this VIP session was a lot larger than the others. There had to be over a hundred and fifty people who purchased tickets to meet Leijah and Ezren. What was even more promising was they were equally fanning over both as opposed to him dominating the fans’ time.

“Shit is wild, isn’t it?” The deep rasp of a male tenor startled me but when I turned my attention from Ezren and Leijah to find Clay beside me, I nodded and smiled.

“The fans love them.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, still watching the two of them before his gaze found me. “I never understood how deep this goes until the first time I experienced it firsthand with Ess. We were at a studio in New Orleans and word leaked that he was recording. Within minutes it felt like the entire city had surrounded the building just to see him. Shit is crazy.” He laughed lightheartedly, as if fully processing the memory or possibly the reality of what he was sharing. “Ess is a god in their eyes. They’ll sell their souls to have a piece of him, any piece of him they can get their hands on. A two-second conversation. A photo, hell just for him to look their way and see them. They worship his ass.” His tone was laced with amusement.

“It’s the same for you.”

His eyes flashed with appreciation before he softly shook his head. “It’s not the same. I’m behind the scenes. Even if they know my production is what seals the deal, they don’t respect my contribution as much as they respect that Ess’s voice is what makes the work amazing.”

I understood his argument. Prior to being in Ezren’s world, I had knowledge of Clay. I was aware that he was sought after and had a name in the industry. The man was dubbed as one of the greatest but there were a lot of amazing producers. One of my favorites, Cassius Avery, was just as revered but also more visible. Whereas Clay could live a normal life, Cash couldn’t walk down the street or be in public spaces without being recognized and mobbed.

“You’re just as good as Cash…sort of…” I grinned and he laughed. “And everyone knows who he is. He has that…” I pointed to Ezren and Leijah.

“Damn, gut-fuckin-punch. Sort of? Ess said you were a tough critic but shit.”

“It’s not personal; I just have my favorites.”

“He’s your favorite and he’s where he is because of me.”

I shrugged. “To your previous point, it’s his voice that seals the deal.”

“Aight, you got that, and for the record, Cash and I have different styles so you can’t compare us but I am the fucking best at what I do.”

He was teasing but his ego was also on display.

“I’ll give you that.”

“Did Ess mention I wanted to lock down some dates with you when we get back to Atlanta?”

“He did.” My brows pinched.

“Damn, don’t give me that look. You’re not backing out, are you?”

“No, I just…” I huffed. “How does this work? What about the label and their standards? What if what I write doesn’t work…”

“It will work. You’re me, she’s Ess.”

I frowned and he continued, “Your words and her voice. Together, it all comes together to create something fucking amazing and aside from your words and her choice, you have my production.” He winked and I grinned but rolled my eyes. “I’ll handle the label, you just agree to write some dope shit and Lei is going to take over the world just like lover boy.” There was amusement when he referenced Ezren as lover boy.

“I didn’t know producers were so invested in artists. You’re close to him and you’re taking on the same role with Lei.” I gazed his way with unspoken questions.

“Ess and Lei are both family. It wasn’t my job to be so invested in his career but I knew what he could become. His father got him in the door but neither of them knew a damn thing about this industry. Hell, I barely did but I had insight they didn’t. Ess was a kid back then. I refused to see him get burned by the ugliness of the world he was in. Same thing with Lei, she has something amazing.”

I nodded in understanding and he added, “So do you, which is why you can’t bail. You going to do this with us?”

I glanced at Leijah who was smiling wide chatting away with a fan. Ezren was next to her and just happened to catch my gaze at the same time. He winked right before scribbling his signature on something a fan handed over.

“Lei has my number, reach out when we get back to Atlanta and we can set up a meeting.”

Clay extended a hand and after we shook he explained that it was an official unofficial promise that I was signing on as Leijah’s songwriter. I felt overwhelmed but what I felt more than anything was purpose for the first time in my life. I felt as if I was the one in the driver’s seat. My success, or possible failure, would be all on me. As scary as the understanding of what this all meant was, I welcomed the fear with open arms.

Two days later I was sitting in the office of Leijah’s record label feeling as if I made a terrible mistake. Ezren offered to go but I refused. This had to be my deal. A small part of me didn’t want anyone to ever hold this over my head, so I needed everything to be on my terms. After I declined he assured me that I could trust Clay but demanded that I allow one of his attorneys to be there to review the paperwork prior to me signing.

Apparently he had multiple attorneys on his team. I accepted the offer and once I walked in to sit at the table with Leijah’s executives, I was grateful. Clay also asserted that he would not have allowed me to sign a damn thing without representation.

I was overwhelmed. The way they threw legal jargon around, placing demands and threatening my entire life if I did not comply with the legality of the terms presented, had my head spinning. I didn’t do a lot of talking. More than anything I listened, read what the attorney pointed out on the contract, and did a lot of glancing back and forth between Clay, the executives, and the attorney. Today was a lot, but I survived.

I also felt a sense of gratitude for how Clay and Leijah negotiated the terms with my percentages. They ensured I would make as much as possible from the songs I handed over, which was unheard of for a newbie. The executives were not thrilled but neither would bend unless their demands were met. Ezren’s attorney co-signed that we would walk if they refused. I smiled internally knowing Ezren had a hand in the negotiation demands as well.

All in all, the documents were signed and I was officially the songwriter for Leijah’s new project. The label couldn’t even bring in another songwriter without my approval. Something else negotiated in a private conversation on my behalf. When we finished, I was proud, excited, and nauseous .

“This is really happening,” I rushed out on a ragged exhale.

“It sure is.” Leijah beamed, looping her arm through mine as we waited for the elevator. “I’m so happy about this. It feels right and you’ll be glued to my side for the next couple months while we produce this album. In the studio, then on tour while I share it with the world.”

“On tour?” My eyes went wide and she grinned, nodding.

“Yes, girl, on tour.”

“Songwriters don’t go on tour.” I frowned and she shrugged.

“Mine does. It was in the contract.” She tugged me into the elevator after the doors opened.

“What about Clay?”

She waved me off. “He’ll be a while. They’re going to complain about all the stuff they agreed to even though it’s a done deal because the contracts are signed.”

“So how long will a tour be?”

“I don’t know but wherever they ask me to go, I’m going and stop stressing, it won’t conflict with Ess. We’ll even have some of the same cities.”

“I wasn’t asking because of him.”

She grinned. “Maybe not but I wanted to throw that out there. Whatever it takes to keep my girl happy. I need you happy so you can write dope shit for me, Ri.”

“I don’t have to tour with you to do that.”

“No you don’t but I want you there and you want to be there to make sure I do your songs justice. Now, where are we eating?”

“Eating?”

“Yes. We’re having a drink to celebrate but I can’t send you home drunk so I’m buying you lunch first. Pick your poison.”

“I…”

“Don’t you dare tell me no…” She walked to the SUV that we arrived in and waited for the driver to open the door. Once we were inside, I gently broke her heart.

“I can’t but only because I have something really important to take care of. If it weren’t a legal thing…”

“Legal… Shit, what’s going on, Ri? Can I help?”

I grinned, appreciating how concerned Leijah was. We were new friends but our bond was so genuine and strong that I looked forward to this new journey she and I were both on.

“No, but thank you. It’s handled. I’m going to finalize everything.”

She flashed a smile and turned to the driver who asked where we were going. She gave him Ezren’s address as the first stop.

“Oh, so your man took care of it for you.”

My eyes rolled playfully and I pointed to the building. “We’re leaving Clay.”

“I know. He’ll find a way home. I promise he’ll be there for a while dealing with them.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very but I owe you a drink to celebrate and we’re having that drink very soon. Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Good…” She smiled widely. “Now let me get on your site and tell you which poems I’m officially claiming as my own.”

While Leijah swiped and called out titles, I half-listened, feeling the reality of what my life was now. Ezren, Leijah, this new career as a songwriter…

In the blink of an eye, my world had done a one eighty and I still couldn’t process that this was really happening…