Beautiful Storm (San Francisco End Game #1)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Luke

A melia walks away, and I stare into space for what I’m certain must be hours. Despite appearing calm after my meltdown, I’m still struggling to process what she said, and no matter how hard I think about it, it doesn’t feel real.

“I’m going to be a dad. A father. A parent. Somebody's old man. A pappy.” Nope . Saying it out loud doesn’t work either. “ Jesus .”

Of all the people in all the world, it had to be her. Amelia. The girl I once thought would be my friend forever. The girl I cared about more than anyone else until she decided she was too goddamn good for me. Amelia Joy Fucking Rosenberg.

The woman I can’t seem to stay away from even though it pains me.

Why does she have to be so goddamn beautiful and sassy? That combination gets me every time. She drives me insane with her secrets, and her diary, and for thinking she has any right to hate me when she’s the one that got me arrested.

If I’d just kept it in my pants, I wouldn’t be in this mess. My life wouldn’t be headed in a completely new direction. I wouldn’t be a soon-to-be dad. And yet, as those thoughts enter my mind, my heart clenches, because…I wouldn’t change a thing.

I have never wanted to be a dad. But now, I don’t exactly hate the idea.

I just have no clue what the hell I’m supposed to do.

We talked about Amelia’s next step, but what about me ? Am I meant to pretend it’s not happening? Or start preparing my house? Can I tell anyone? Does that twelve-week thing still exist? Do people still wait? God, when is she twelve weeks? When is she due? How long have I got?

I’m going to be a dad.

There’s going to be a junior Luke or Amelia running around next year. Okay, maybe not running next year but soon and… Jesus . Why does that make me shiver?

There weren’t supposed to be any little Lukes in the world. Ever . I worked hard to prevent that. It wasn’t part of the plan.

“I can’t look after myself.”

Shadow barks and I pause my inner spiral to check that she’s okay, but when I find her chasing a ball around the yard, I resume my panic. I’m going to be a dad. A Dad. I don’t know the first thing about being a dad. I know I don’t want to be like my dad. Sure, he was fine but he had his faults and—

“What’s going on?”

“Holy shit, Lainey.” I spin around, clutching my chest as my heart races. “Where did you come from?”

“The door.” Lainey points to the door behind her, but her eyes remain firmly locked on my face, her expression doing nothing to hide her concern. God, what did I say? What did she hear?

“So what? You let yourself in?” I grab the water bottle I abandoned next to my gym bag on the floor and squirt some into my mouth, needing a distraction.

“I knocked.” She shrugs. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Nothing . I’m nervous. The season is starting soon and as I’m sure you know we’ve got some high expectations on us this year and—”

“Wow.”

“Wow? Lainey, now is not the time for you to be giving me shit.” I smile in the hope that it eases her mind but it doesn’t.

“Who’s giving you shit? You always put on a front, but I know you get nervous at the start of every season, and I know you’re not the cocky asshole you always claim to be. But that’s the first time you’ve actually admitted it to me.” Her face lights up at the prospect of me opening up to her and my heart jolts. Dammit . In this case, it's a lie. But how do I tell her that unless I give her something real?

“Lainey — ”

“Let me guess. You don’t want to talk about it?” Her tone is teasing but her face drops a little.

“It’s not that. I…” God, what do I say? “I want to talk to you about it, but can we do it another time? I love you but I’ve had a weird day, and I’d rather talk to you about it when I have a clear head.” And when I know I’m allowed to officially tell people. Why didn’t I ask that question?

“Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I’ll just grab Shadow and go then?”

“What?”

“Shadow? Thomas said you were all heading out, so I’m here to walk her.”

Goddammit. I completely forgot I’d suggested that. “Right. Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Thank you.”

How the hell can I go out now? How can I sit around and drink when my mind is spinning? I’m going to be a fucking dad.

“Luke?”

“Huh?” I snap out of my thoughts to realize Lainey asked me a question.

“Are you okay?” she asks, her expression tense.

“Never better.” I smile. “Why?”

“Because you spaced out.”

“Whoops, what can I say… I thought you were leaving.” I lift my hands in a what-are-you-gonna-do motion and smile again.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine . Did you want something?”

“I asked if you were bringing someone to the wedding.”

What? Why would she ask that?

Lainey and Thomas are getting married after the Super Bowl; why does she need to know now? Either way, I won’t be bringing anyone. I don’t do dates and— Actually , will I have a baby then? I don’t know the exact date, but with some quick mental math, I’m thinking it has to be close.

“Well?” Lainey asks when I still don’t answer, stuck in my head again.

“No date,” I rush out, forcing another smile. But there might be a baby. Hope that’s okay? Surprise, you’re going to be an auntie!

A s we prepare for the regular season, our practices ramp up, meaning I barely see Amelia during the next week—other than once or twice in a director's capacity. But that doesn’t stop me from messaging her. Often. Assuming that’s what I’m supposed to do.

Luke: Is everything okay?

Amelia: Yes, why wouldn’t it be?

Luke: I don’t know, I’m just checking in

Amelia: You don’t need to do that. I’m fine

Luke: I’m not worried about you

Amelia: Jackass

Despite her saying she doesn’t need me, I still can’t help myself, making my messages a daily occurrence.

Luke: Are you getting enough food? Enough rest?

Amelia: Excuse me?

Luke: I know you’re here. Your car is in the lot but I never see you. It’s not healthy to sit at a desk all day

Amelia: I’m fine.

Luke: …

Amelia: The baby is fine too

I laugh, but as I read the word “baby,” a new energy settles inside me. One I can’t really explain because I haven’t felt it before, but the urge to tell Amelia about it is strong. Of course, I don’t.

On day five of what I’m calling the post-baby-news haze, I arrive at the locker rooms to find a text from Amelia and my heart seizes. Without bothering to take off my gear, I check the message and burst out laughing.

Amelia: I caught the end of practice today. Are you taking enough vitamins? You’re getting older. You need to keep on top of it if you want to maintain your peak performance

The fucking sass on this woman.

Luke: I’m a natural, Joy. It’s all about a balanced diet and the right exercise program. Those rookies have nothing on me

Amelia: God, you’re full of it

I smile as I throw my phone back into my bag, but just like always, the weird feeling returns and my happiness fades. I have no clue what I’m doing. But doing nothing doesn’t sit right. I hate the unknown, and right now, nothing is certain.

Shaking off my thoughts, I remove my shoulder pads, just as Reed sits down on the chair in front of me.

“You’ve been off all week, and I was voted the guy who should talk to you.”

“What?” I scoff. “I haven’t been off. My game is on point. I’m killing it out there.”

“Not out there.” He points in the direction of the field. “I mean in here.” He waves his hands around the room. “You’re usually chatty, and loud, and goddamn annoying, but at the moment…”

“A friend of mine just found out his girlfriend is pregnant,” I tell him, and it feels good to get it off my chest. Sort of. “He’s freaking out because she’s got shitty insurance while his is amazing. And he doesn’t know what to do.”

“Mm-hmm. And that has you worried, why?” He eyes me suspiciously.

I let out a long sigh. “Okay. Fine. The guy isn’t a friend. He’s my brother.” Jesus . My eyes widen. Why the hell did I say that?

Reed curses under his breath. “Wow, okay. That makes more sense.”

“He’s kind of panicking which is making me panic.”

Reed nods, his protector mode switching gears while I picture him punching me when he finds out the truth.

“I know he’s young,” he says thoughtfully. “Just a rookie this year…” I nod though he’s not really watching me. “But.” He pauses and I lean in. Has he thought of something I missed? “Why doesn’t he marry her? If they’re together and having a b—”

“The fuck did you say?”

“ Jesus . Not everyone wants to be a bachelor all their lives. You said it was his girlfriend. I’m assuming he’s not about to leave her because she’s knocked up. To me, it’s the obvious answer.”

“He’s too young.”

“He’s having a baby. That tends to make someone grow up pretty fucking quickly.”

Nope. Not happening.

“Luke—”

“Just how long have you been planning your wedding to Bria?” I cut him off and cringe, instantly regretting my words.

Reed’s fists clench as he glares my way. It takes a lot to rattle Mr. Positive. But we all know never to mention his feelings toward his best friend, Bria. I shouldn’t have said it. “Don’t be a dick,” he fumes. “Pass on my advice or don’t. Whatever.”

“I’m sorry,” I say genuinely. I seem to be saying it a lot. “I’m not thinking straight because I’m worried about her.” The baby.

“Her?” Jesus .

“Yeah.” Fuck . “Ryan’s girlfriend.”

Reed eyes me for the longest beat before nodding. “I get it. I knew there was a caring soul under that tough exterior.” He smiles and I relax. “But sometimes you need to think before you speak.”

“Noted.” A thousand times over. “Are we good?” I ask, just in case. Best I don’t fuck up any relationships in my time of need.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

I smile as he leaves, and when I’m done getting changed, I have another text waiting for me.

Amelia: In case you forgot, the ultrasound is tomorrow at 9:15am. If you want to come. I sent you the details a few days ago

And just like that, shit gets real.

Luke: I’ll be there

I just don’t know if I’m ready for it.