Beautifully Complicated (Front Range University #4)

15. Kier

Chapter fifteen

Kier

DECEMBER

M y phone dings in my pocket, and even though I don’t want to check it, I do, knowing a non-response will only result in another text.

“Professor Kincaid again?” Aiden asks from his deck across the room.

“Yes.” I sigh as I type out my response.

“What’s he want this time?”

Over the past several months Daniel has been reaching out with increasing frequency, mostly about things that could be classified as work like sharing a news article or department gossip, but mixed in with that are sporadic inquiries about grabbing a meal or a drink after work. Since Aiden and I spend so much time in the lab together, he’s become familiar with how often Daniel reaches out.

“There’s a lecture about using AI to improve energy efficiency he thought I might want to hear.”

“You could probably give that lecture, why would you need to hear it?”

“I couldn’t give that lecture, it’s not my specialty.”

“You know what I mean,” Aiden says pointedly.

“Yes,” I agree, since I know his response has nothing to do with the lecture and everything to do with the fact we can’t ask each other to do things like this, which we’d both enjoy. I think it’s starting to grate on him that Daniel can suggest public outings he can’t.

“I’m starting to think he has a crush on you,” Aiden says, and while I’ve wondered that myself, Daniel hasn’t said or done anything to definitively answer that question, so I dismiss the comment.

“You’re the one he thinks is cute.” I wink at him when he gasps.

“Eew, I was his student. His literal student, not a TA he met outside school grounds.” He throws in the disclaimer that we’re different, never missing an opportunity to remind me of his willingness to blur the lines a little when it comes to our no dating until after graduation policy.

“I’m just telling you what he told me.”

“Again, eew. I don’t think I’ll be able to look at him the same way again.” He wrinkles his nose.

“How did you look at him before?”

Aiden cocks his head to the side and gnaws on his lip. “I didn’t really. I mean, obviously I saw him as a professor, but outside class he’s just… I didn’t have any thoughts about him. Maybe that’d be different if his classes challenged me, but they were 101 level classes I had to take, and I found them pretty basic, so I didn’t give them, or him, much thought. Is that awful?”

“No, just honest.”

“What about you? What do you think of him?”

The question surprises me since I’m not one of his students, and I feel my brows pull together as I ask, “Why would I think of him?”

“Because he’s into you.”

“I’m not into him.”

“I know, but if he does like you, you can’t just ignore it.”

“Why not?”

Aiden chews on his lip again.

“It bothers you that I’d ignore it?” I press gently.

“I don’t like it, no. I don’t like him having a crush on you either, but ignoring it could hurt him.”

“How do I even know he’s interested; he’s never said anything.”

Aiden lifts a listless shoulder. “That doesn’t mean the feelings don’t exist.”

Since his comments don’t appear to be coming from jealousy, I have a feeling they’re rooted in something more personal. “Is this a you and Bennet thing or me and Daniel thing?”

His teeth work that lip again, something he knows he can bait me with, although I think in this instance it’s a subconscious act.

“A little of both?” he says. “ I’ve been in that spot before, and while I bear responsibility for Bennet being oblivious to my feelings, part of me thinks if he was paying attention he would’ve caught on. And even though it would’ve hurt, I think I’d have appreciated him telling me he wasn’t interested since that would’ve at least been confirmation that he saw me. Like… at least I was important enough to notice, even if he didn’t reciprocate.”

My heart breaks for what Aiden went through, even though I’m selfishly elated his roommate was blind to those feelings. Still, it’s clear the experience left a mark on him, and I think it’s sweet he doesn’t want another man to go through the same thing.

He’s as beautiful inside as he is out.

I’m still not sure he’s right about the crush though.

“I hear what you’re saying, but ninety percent of what Daniel texts me about could be considered work, and the other ten percent could be blowing off steam about work since I’m a colleague. What if I have a conversation like the one you’re suggesting, and I offend him because he doesn’t see me that way.”

“Okay, A—everyone sees you that way. Trust me on this.” The flare of heat in his eyes is brief yet undeniable, and he swallows thickly before he continues. “And B, no one said you have to come right out and say I know you like me, but I don’t feel the same way .”

I throw my hands up. “You literally just told me you wished Bennet had done that.”

“Bennet and I had been best friends for years by that point, so that would’ve worked for us. For you, all you need to do is avoid leading him on.”

“How do I do that?” I grumble.

“Tell him you’ve got a boyfriend.”

“And when he wants to meet that boyfriend? What do I say then?”

“Tell him he’s on the east coast. Or back in Ireland. As long as he knows you’re off limits that’s all that matters.”

Though Aiden’s obviously concerned about Daniel’s feelings, his use of the term off-limits sets of warning bells.

“Is this strictly about making sure I’m not leading anyone on, or are you worried someone might think I’m available?”

“Both,” he says to the floor, caramel eyes partially hidden by the blond hair that’s getting just a bit too long, though it doesn’t detract from his beauty.

“Where’s this coming from, Leanbh? You know I’m spoken for.”

He shrugs a shoulder without looking up. “Sometimes I wonder why you’d put yourself through all these rules and secrecy when you could be with someone else out in the open.”

“I could say the same thing about you.”

“No one else compares to you.” Aiden’s cheeks are pink when he finally lifts his face.

“That’s exactly how I feel. Other people aren’t you.”

He smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

I think I know how to fix that.

“Would you like to go to the lecture?”

Aiden gasps, eyes flashing with excitement just before they seem to dim. “We can’t.”

“We can’t go as boyfriends, but we can go as colleagues. And if Daniel’s there too no one would think twice. What do you say? Come to the lecture with me?”

I feel like the luckiest man on the planet when he says, “Okay.”

***

“I would’ve expected you two to be sick of each other after all the time you spend in the lab,” Daniel says when Aiden and I meet him for the lecture two days later. Though he’s smiling brightly, I hear a bite to his words that I’m not sure is real or imagined

All the talk about crushes might be coloring my perception.

“Half the time we’re so busy working we don’t even talk, so it almost feels like you’re by yourself,” Aiden says expertly.

Even though that’s a bit of a white lie, he delivers it so smoothly I once again find myself in awe of his poise.

“It’s also hard to talk when your assistant has his earbuds in.” I do my part. “I have to text him to get his attention since he can’t hear when I say his name.”

“You don’t still find music distracting when you’re analyzing data?” Daniel looks at Aiden skeptically.

Still?

“Oh, I do,” Aiden says. “But my earbuds have a noise canceling feature I use to block out anything that might be distracting.”

Well, that embellishment nearly backfired. Maybe I should leave the storytelling to Aiden.

I stuff my hands in my pockets and walk a step behind the two of them as we head for the entrance.

“So, what you’re saying is you find this guy distracting.” Daniel points his thumb in my direction.

“Not at all. I tend to block things out preemptively so it’s easier to concentrate. It has nothing to do with Kier.”

“Kier?” Daniel glances at me over his shoulder, arching a suspicious brow. “Your assistant calls you Kier?”

Good thing my hands are in my pockets so he can’t see how white my knuckles are.

“Why wouldn’t he? I’m more like a colleague since Aiden’s never been my student, and colleagues tend to use first names.”

Aiden mouths sorry while Daniel’s still looking at me, and I dip my head just slightly as Daniel mumbles hmm .

Why did I invite my secret love interest to spend time with me and a colleague who may or may not have a crush on me? I’m supposed to be a genius, right?

“So, Professor.” Aiden turns to Daniel. “How are your classes this semester?”

Daniel tells us about the courses he’s teaching, taking the heat off Aiden and I for what we call each other and how much time we spend together, and from there the conversation naturally centers around our work.

“Are you planning to include a unit on AI in your classes? Is that what made you interested in this lecture?” Aiden asks as we take our seats, with me positioned between the two men.

“Oh no,” Daniel says. “My curriculum is full without a unit on AI. I just thought Kier might find it interesting.”

“Of course.” Aiden nods along as though that makes perfect sense, but the slight flush in his cheeks has me thinking he’s not buying that.

Aiden leans back and wriggles in his seat, getting situated, and while he’s busy Daniel leans closer to ask for my opinion on a new coding program he’s thinking about introducing to his students. Before I can answer, my phone beeps with a text notification.

I give Daniel an apologetic look and fish it from my pocket, nearly dropping the damn thing when I see a text from Leanbh.

Have fun tonight. XOXO. And don’t forget to silence your phone.

“Is that Conor?” Aiden asks with such innocence I’m momentarily speechless. Conor?

“Who’s Conor?” Daniel asks from my other side.

“His boyfriend,” Aiden replies.

“Boyfriend?” There’s no mistaking the shock in Daniel's voice. “You’ve never said anything about a boyfriend before.”

“I…” I clear my throat to stall for time. “I don’t usually talk about my personal life.”

“But your assistant knows.” That tiny hint of a bite is back in Daniel’s tone.

“Only because Conor’s called before when we were in the lab. Kier was busy and asked me to check who was calling in case it could wait, and when the name read Leanbh he had to explain.”

“Leanbh?” Daniel asks.

“It’s Irish for baby. isn’t that cute?” Aiden gushes. He’s way too good at subterfuge.

“Very,” Daniel says flatly. “So, did you meet Conor here? Why haven’t we seen him?”

“We met in Boston. He’s still there.” Please, God don’t ask me anything else.

“Oof, long distance.” Daniels tsks. “That’s tough. Why are there no pictures of your baby in your office?”

“Conor isn’t… He isn’t, uh… out,” I stutter.

Daniels eyes flare wide. “He’s not? Why would you date someone in the closet?”

At a loss for a better explanation, I simply shrug my shoulders and mumble, “I like him.”

Fortunately, the lecture starts after that, so there’s no more grilling me about my secret boyfriend—the one named Conor. And the presentation itself is very well done, offering some insight into how AI can manage the flow of power through the grid, which is something Aiden and I might want to look into for our work so that prosthetics can regulate the force to walk versus run.

I take the presenter’s card afterward so I can reach out to him with any questions, and maybe even to gauge his interest in a new company.

I still haven’t mentioned it to Aiden—I don’t want to get his hopes up—but I’ve reconnected with the man who wanted me to start a new venture with him several years ago, and we’re chatting about what that might look like now. Though I have a few stipulations regarding the mission and the work, the primary one is that Aiden be included, which I’ll bring up when the time is right.

As we exit the venue both Aiden and I thank a somewhat glum Daniel for a nice evening, and when Aiden mentions the need to order an Uber, I offer to take him home, so he doesn’t have to wait. But really, we need to talk.

“I can’t believe you texted me while I was sitting right next to Daniel,” I admonish when we get in the car.

“Well, he’d basically just confirmed he wanted the night to be a date, and you weren’t saying anything. What else was I supposed to do? Besides, it’s not like my name came up on the screen.”

“That was still an unnecessary risk.”

“Calculated,” he objects. “And it worked. Now he knows you aren’t available so he can move on, although you still might want to talk to him.”

“And say what?” I balk as I pull out of the parking lot.

“That once you arrived you got the impression he meant the evening to be a date, which you weren’t aware of, and if that’s the case you apologize for the confusion.”

“That’s—" I change course once his words register”—actually sort of perfect.”

“Yeah, well, I told you I had some experience with this. It won’t make him feel good exactly, but hopefully it’ll make him feel better. Eventually.”

“He did seem a little glum when you mentioned Conor. Thanks for the heads up on my boyfriend’s name by the way,” I quip sarcastically. “I hope I can remember it.”

“Just substitute Leanbh if you get stuck.” I see him smirking from the corner of my eye.

“You are so lucky I never changed it to your name.”

“That wasn’t luck. I knew it didn’t say Aiden.”

“How?”

“Because I’ve always been Leanbh to you.”