Beautifully Complicated (Front Range University #4)

19. Kier

Chapter nineteen

Kier

“ W hat are you doing here?” I roll back from the desk when Aiden lets himself into my office. It’s the first time he’s been in this room since that fateful day when we first saw each other again back in August, and while I’m always happy to see him, I’m confused by this sudden change in our usual pattern.

We’ve never made a rule about it or anything, but I’m fairly certain we both know being alone in this room is too much temptation. It’s different in the lab, where there’s work to be done, and the possibility that anyone else might walk in. But I can lock my office door, so by unspoken agreement we avoid that lure.

“I wanted to see you.” He closes the door, and I can’t be certain, but it’s possible I hear a faint click as he does.

“You just saw me in the lab this morning.”

“Yes, but I didn’t see you for nearly five days before that since campus was closed, and all we did this morning was work.” He strides across the room, rounds my desk, and perches his ass on the edge, right in front of my chair, putting his crotch in line with my mouth.

I clear my throat. “That’s what we do in the lab. Work.”

“True.” He cocks his head to the side and gives me a sensual once-over. “But during those five days I didn’t see you, I started wondering why I didn’t see you.”

“You said it yourself; campus was closed.”

“I could see you off campus.” He drags his tongue along his lower lip in the way he knows I love.

“We got away with that once, I’m not sure we should do it again.”

“I’m not suggesting we go out in public. I’m suggesting we could meet at your place, where no one would be the wiser.”

My cock starts to fill behind my zipper, clearly on board with this idea, but all the blood hasn’t run south yet.

“Leanbh, as much as I want to say yes, it’s an unnecessary risk.”

“In what way? Do you live on campus? Have a roommate? Is your front door monitored by the university?”

“That’s not the kind of risk I’m worried about.” I fight to keep my body under control, because I’ve always found assertive Aiden sexy, and that’s not the way I should be thinking of him right now, at work, where any number of my colleagues could be just on the other side of the door.

He throws his hands up in exasperation. “Well then what are you talking about? Because from where I’m sitting, we could be putting ourselves out of this misery starting today.”

Fisting my hands so tight the knuckles turn white I tell him, “I’m afraid if I let myself cave any more than I already have I won’t be able to stop. I’ll want to touch you every time I see you, steal kisses when I think no one’s looking, drag you in here and block out the world while I do dirty things to you. But if I don’t touch you at all, maybe the cravings won’t get any worse.”

The words that were intended as a warning have the opposite effect and leave Aiden biting his lip as he rolls his hips, creating friction on the prominent bulge in his jeans.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about,” I hiss. “You’re just thinking about it, and you’re damn near writhing on my desk.”

“That’s because it’s been so long. And what if you’re wrong?” His eyes flutter shut as he tries to keep his pelvis still. “What if a calculated risk in the privacy of your home makes it so that we can behave at work?”

My body wants me to give in, to mimic Aiden’s gyrations, but I still have concerns.

“What if I can’t get my guard up once I let it down? Right now, I can just barely look at you without the lust taking over. I have to physically tear my eyes away from you before I broadcast what I’m thinking. It’s why I’m so careful to avoid you outside the lab.”

“You can still avoid me outside the lab if that makes you feel better, just don’t avoid me period .”

I suck in a ragged breath. “Is that how you feel? Like I’ve been avoiding you?”

Aiden stills, casting his eyes downward with a slight shake of his head. “No. I mean, I know you aren’t, but it does sometimes feel that way.”

The last thing I’d ever want to do is make Aiden think he’s anything less than the most important thing in my life. I thought I was showing him how important he is by putting his future first, but maybe that’s not enough. Maybe he needs to feel that instead of just knowing it.

No wonder his vulnerable side is coming out. In a bold way, but maybe that’s a defense mechanism. Asserting himself to hide his vulnerability.

Resting my palm on the outside of his thigh, I give his leg a gentle squeeze. He sighs and brings his eyes to mine.

“Nothing can change here. If anything, we need to be even more careful. No contact outside the lab. All communication only about work, and only through email. And absolutely zero touching, even if we think we’re in the clear.”

Aiden looks at my hand on his leg, and I pull it back like I’ve been shocked, earning myself a frustrated huff.

“Damien didn’t say being secret boyfriends came with so many rules,” he mutters, and while I’m not sure I’m supposed to hear it, I do.

“Damien? What’s he telling you about secret boyfriends? And why?

Aiden has the decency to look slightly guilty as he confesses. “Bennet freaked out when I didn’t show up to a party on New Years, and in the process of defusing that situation it came out that you’re slightly more than just someone I work with. And Damien tried to be supportive about the whole thing by relating to me as a secret boyfriend, since that’s what he was before Bennet came out.”

Jesus that’s a lot to process. And it also explains so much.

“Okay, back up. Bennet was in the closet when he was dating Damien? And they equate our situation to theirs? Do I have that right?”

“Yes and no. Obviously our situation is different, but the secret part of it Damien identifies with since Bennet was pretending to be straight while sorting stuff out with Damien, and they only ever met in secret at Damien’s place.”

“Now I see how we got here. They made it work so you think we can too. But I assume they had rules like the ones I’m suggesting.”

He nods solemnly. “Outside the house they were just teammates. They didn’t have the communication restrictions though.”

“Well, I doubt either of them would’ve been kicked out of school if someone stumbled on their personal chats.”

Aiden gives me a begrudging look before mumbling, “Fair.”

“So, you agree to the rules?” I press.

“When do they take effect? Because I’m kind of dying here.” I follow his gaze to the obvious bulge in his pants and bite back a laugh.

Most of the time he’s so mature, but the times when he isn’t are just… refreshing .

“Immediately, Leanbh. They take effect immediately. But I have something that might help with that.” I reach for a pile of papers on my desk.

“Yeah, nothing kills a boner like paperwork.” He gives me a wry look.

“Not just any paperwork. Our business paperwork. I’ve been filling out as much as I can, but we can’t start a business without a name. What should we call it?”

The pouty face morphs into a broad grin. “You want me to help name the company?”

“I reserve the right to veto, but yeah. I think we should do this together.”

Aiden traps his lips between his teeth, to stop himself from kissing me I think, and says, “We should name it after your dad since he’s your inspiration.”

And here I thought I couldn’t love him any more.

“I love that idea, Leanbh. Truly. But I’m not sure Cormac is the way to go. Besides, if we’re going with inspiration, we should include yours.”

“Star Wars?” He snorts. “I’m not sure that’s the way to go either. What about our names? Or initials?”

“Boring.” I shake my head.

“Last names too? SinCal or CalSin don’t sound too bad.”

“CalSin Consulting?” I try it out. “Not bad, but it doesn’t say AI or prosthetics.”

“CalSin Biomechatronics Consulting. Or CBC?”

“It should CSBC if we abbreviate it, but yeah. I can see it.” A wistful smile tugs at the corner of my lip. “Sounds official.”

“Think it’ll make people take us seriously? Even after they find out about us?” Aiden doesn’t sound worried, just curious.

“I think the work we’re doing right now will go a long way toward making that happen. Regardless of how we met or when we bocame official, the advancements we’ve made this year have merit. And remember, no one needs to know about our personal relationship until well after we’re established.”

“I’m not sure I want to hide indefinitely though. I don’t need people thinking you’re on the market when you’re not.”

“Same.” I grin like a fool, but I’m not even self-conscious about it. Not since it makes him smile in return.

“So, my dirty little secret—” I playfully pinch the thigh that’s still within arm’s reach “—should I expect you at my house this weekend?”

“The whole weekend.” Aiden lights up like the beautiful angel he is, making me feel like a damn superhero.

“Obviously.”

“Yes, please. Just text me—I mean write down your address on a piece of paper I will commit to memory and then destroy.” He bats his lashes in a way only someone with his youthful looks could get away with.

“Smartass,” I mutter as I reach for a pen and scribble out my address.

“You love my ass.” He leans forward a few inches, stopping about a foot away from my mouth when he realizes what he’s doing.

“See, Leanbh. It’s a slippery slope,” I caution despite the fact I make no move to pull back. I’m too focused on his full lips, tempting me to close the distance.

We linger there far longer than is advised, savoring the chemistry we’re finally allowing ourselves to feel. Even though we don’t act on it—not yet—it’s palpable. A tether between us that only seems to have grown stronger in the months we’ve been trying to ignore its existence. I knew it hadn’t gone anywhere, of course, but giving it free reign to flow through me has me vibrating with restless energy. A bone-deep need for more of the man before me.

Soon .

Aiden seductively wets his lips and stands up, chest rising and falling in carefully measured breaths designed to help him maintain some semblance of control. I know because I’m breathing the same way.

“Friday?” He takes the paper from my hand, fingers brushing ever so slightly over mine.

“Friday.” My hooded eyes follow him out the door, though it’s another several minutes before my heartbeat returns to normal.