MICHAEL
S lowly, as the fluid drizzles into her veins, Audrey gains a little of her colour back. But she still has a sorrowful look painted over her as we thank the midwives. She melts into the car seat while I drive us home, hugging herself and letting her head fall forward.
“I’m sorry I wasted your whole evening,” she says as she steps into the house. Her hand rests on the door, as though ready to close it behind her after she says her goodbyes.
I step across the threshold before she has the chance. I take the door from her hands to close it, then twist the shutters to the entry window. The homey habit comes naturally, even for me, even here in a place that isn’t my house but feels like home. Because Audrey is here. Because the babies will be too.
“It wasn’t wasted.”
She scoffs in disagreement behind me, pushing past me, towards the open layout of her kitchen and living spaces.
I follow her into the house. “I’m serious, I meant what I said about always being here for you.”
Audrey pivots to face me and pulls her cardigan tight around her body. A flush creeps along her cheeks. “Well, thank you. I appreciate that you took me to the hospital. And I’m still sorry that it was all for nothing. I don’t remember having Braxton Hicks contractions with Maisie.” She pauses to take a long breath, leaning some of her weight against the island benchtop. Her head drops to look at her belly and a small piece of hair falls across her face. “Was Callum really okay with having her for the night?”
“He said he will drop her at kindergarten in the morning, you can pick her up like usual in the afternoon.”
Closing her eyes, Audrey sighs. “I feel so bad for her. As if she hasn’t gone through enough changes, now this? Now I can’t even pick her up when I’m supposed to.”
She runs her hands through her hair, tucking it behind her ears.
“Maisie is a bright kid, a caring one, too. She is already so excited for those babies, and there will be plenty of changes when they come, but for now I’m sure she was pretty excited to spend another night at her dad’s, running up and down those stairs.”
With her eyes closed, Audrey fights against the gentle smile on her lips. Her hands drop, pulling at the corners of her cardigan again.
“I feel like I should know what I’m doing this time, but this whole pregnancy has been so different.”
“Well there are two in there, remember. I’m no doctor but surely that’s going to make everything at least a little harder and more intense.”
I step towards her, closing her in as I wipe my thumb over the tear that trickles down her cheek. I coast my fingers down her arm, settling my hand against her waist. The pink in her cheeks turns a brighter shade of crimson.
“Audrey?” I whisper, aware of the electricity that fizzles between us and the hesitation in her stance.
She pushes me back, moving to the side to turn the kettle on. Reaching above her, she pulls one mug from the cupboard.
“You don’t have to stay. My stomach feels fine now.”
In two short strides, I’m back in her space, reaching above her to take out a second mug. I place it on the counter beside hers and pop a tea bag from the canister in each.
“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” I say the word with a shrug, trying—and failing—to keep my tone light-hearted and carefree.
“The babies are fine, Michael.”
“I know.”
“So, you can go. Isn’t that why you’re here? Because we thought something was wrong with them? But there’s not. I’m just some idiot who can’t drink enough water and worries over a little Braxton Hicks contractions.”
Placing my hands on her shoulders, I turn her to face me. She keeps her gaze on the ground, so I use my fingers to guide her chin up. Her blue eyes sparkle, the wetness reflecting the light shining from the pendants hanging over the bench.
“You’re not an idiot.” I shake my head, pressing my thumb over her lips when she tries to rebut. “Is that really what you think? That I’m here because of them?”
She nods against my hand, blinking the tears out of her eyes. I wipe my thumb across her cheek.
“I’m here for you. And sure, because I am their father and I already love them too, but I came because you needed me. I’m staying because you had a rough day, and I don’t want to leave you.” I don’t miss the way her eyes scrunch together when I say I love the babies. I hate the way the word ‘too’ slipped out after I declared my love for the babies, I wonder if she knows what I meant. I wish there was a way I could show her that wouldn’t feel like jumping off a cliff.
“You don’t need to stay, Michael. I’m literally going to have a hot drink, order a roast chicken and hot chips to be delivered, curl up on the couch, and binge watch repeats of Bondi Rescue.”
“I love that show.”
“Michael.” She glares up at me. Her eyes are still scrunched, her arms still wrapped around herself, hands balled into fists holding her cardigan tight.
“Okay, I’ve never watched it. But I’m serious. I like spending time with you. I want to spend time with you. So, even if it is some reality TV show, I still want to stay. I meant what I said, every time I said I cared about you. That started long before I found out about the babies, and it will carry on long after they are born. And I know you want to fight it because you think it’s just casual flirting and it’s just hormones, but I know you feel something too.”
The electricity buzzes, ferociously, like it’s ready to split the house in two. The pendant light above us flickers, as though it somehow senses it too. I don’t want to back down; I need her to understand. But … if she really doesn’t want me here. I can’t force that.
“If you really want me to go, I will.” I pull my hand away from her chin, tucking it into the pocket of my work pants. With the other hand I pull the tea bag out of my mug and drop it back in the canister.
I take a single step backwards and turn on my heel to walk out of the kitchen. My shoulders roll forward as a deep stabbing pain cuts through my chest. “But you need to stop lying to yourself.”
“What if it’s too messy?” Her voice reaches me a second before she does. A gentle hand grabs my wrist, spinning me to face her again. “Relationships fall apart all the time after a baby is introduced, what if it’s all too much and you walk away. I can’t risk that. If I have to force down feelings and lie to myself, okay. But I can’t risk an ending where my babies don’t see their father.”
My heart sinks. Is that really what she thinks of me? That I would walk away from my children? From her?
“I could never, ever walk away from those babies. Ever.” I step so close our chests are touching, her stomach pressed into me. She looks up at me and I get lost in the ocean of her eyes. “And I would never ever walk away from you.”
I close the fraction of a gap between our mouths, planting a firm kiss on her lower lip. I savour the moment. Waiting for her to push me away. When she doesn’t, I kiss her top lip. Then each corner in turn. With a little extra confidence, I run my tongue along her mouth, groaning when she pulls her lips apart to kiss me back. It starts slow, building up like a steam train gaining speed and soon we are a tangle of lips and teeth and tongue. Exploring each other, understanding the unspoken words now floating between us.
The buzzing in the air recedes, replaced by a searing heat that radiates off us. Audrey pulls her cardigan off her shoulders, dropping it onto the back of a stool. She shifts on her feet.
I pull her body into mine, wrapping my arms around her waist and hoisting her up. Her legs wrap around me and I carry her back down the hall and into the bedroom. With more grace than I’ve ever managed, I hold her while I twist the shutters and turn on the bedside lamp.
Arms still wrapped around her, I sit on the edge of the bed. Audrey’s legs fall over my thighs and she straddles me, wriggling as she gets comfortable between my legs. Her fingers stretch around the back of my neck.
“What are we?” The words tumble from her mouth on a deep exhale. Her chest heaves in anticipation or fear or worry or … something else I don’t want to hope for.
I close my eyes, for once in my life thinking about the words I want to say before I say them.
“We are whatever you want to be. I will give you everything, all of me, all of my heart, my soul, and ask for nothing in return. But if you want to give me a little piece of you, I will cherish it for the rest of my life.”
I swallow down the lump in my throat, blink away the tear that forms in my eye. It spills over, leaving a wet trail down my cheek. Audrey leans in and kisses it away.
“You can have all of me, too.”
My insides flip at her words. I flatten my hands against her back, squeezing her somehow even closer. The small round of her perfect belly presses against me, a barrier between us but also, somehow, the glue that bound us together. Our foreheads touch and we breathe in sync, revelling in our confessions and soaking in the love that floats around the room. Neither of us said it, I know that, but I can feel it. And from the way she gazes longingly into my eyes and her deep, settled breaths, I’d guess she does too.
I plant another kiss on her mouth. Tender and caring and claiming. She kisses me back with a passion like never before, claiming me back and whimpering into me. I skate my hands under the hem of her tank top, pausing to caress her stomach.
“You’re incredible,” I whisper into her mouth.
Using my thumbs, I brush against the underside of her bra. She moans, arching her back and pressing her breasts into my hand. I run my thumbs over the thin padding, taking the soft mounds in my hands. Her head falls back, and she looks peaceful as I massage her chest, kissing down the front of her neck. I tug at the neckline of her top with my mouth, but lean back to pull it over her head when she moans. She reaches behind her to unclasp her bra and tosses it to the side. Her chest and cheeks fill with blush and her eyes widen. Hastily she leans towards me, hiding her beautiful body from me.
I kiss the top of her head, then nudge her back until I can kiss down her front again, pausing with my face between her breasts. I push her breasts together, enclosing my face in her cleavage. Her fruity perfume blends with the subtle smell of hand sanitiser from the hospital, and I soak it in. I could spend the rest of my life right here, and it still wouldn’t be long enough.
Audrey shivers as I knead at her breasts, toying and twisting her nipples until she is panting in my lap. She grinds herself into me. There’s too much fabric between us, but the friction against my firm length has me groaning.
I turn my head and suck at her breast, wrapping my mouth around her firm peak. I tease it with my tongue, biting gently.
“Michael.” My name is a moan on her lips as she arches her back, pushing her breast further into my mouth. I pinch her other nipple and her legs tense around my waist.
Heat pools all around us and my cock strains against the thick fabric of my work pants, aching to feel her.
“I’m going to …” she gasps, tipping her head back as a shudder runs through her body. Her mouth falls open in a tiny O and her chest heaves against my face. Rocking back and forth in my lap, she draws her pleasure out using the friction from our clothes.
When her legs relax, I wrap my arms around her back to pull her close again, kissing her forehead. She reaches between us to unbutton my pants, stepping off me so I can lift up and pull them off, taking my briefs with them. My erection bounces free and Audrey licks her lips at the sight. I tug her leggings down and she steps out of them slowly. Teasingly.
She pulls her lower lip into her mouth and … God, she is perfect. Every inch of her glorious body glows in the warm light of the lamp. Taking a step to stand between my legs, she grabs at my work shirt. There’s no calm and collected or patience left in me. I rip it over my head. Tiny buttons snap away from their threads.
“Can we?” I ask, placing a hand back on her stomach while grabbing her ass with the other. I want to … God I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more. But the babies …
“Yeah,” she moans as she straddles my legs. “We can.”
Audrey glides her pussy along my engorged shaft. The motion spreads the wetness of her desire all over me and a grumble forms deep in my throat.
“Fuck, Audrey.”
She freezes, positioning her entrance at the tip of my cock.
“I intend to.”
As she impales herself on my firm length, I wrap my arms around her and pull her as close as I can. She kisses me furiously and rides my cock like she was made for me. Like I was made for her. My hands grab at her ass, her hips, holding tight to her. To this moment.
The gentle back and forth of her movements becomes frenzied, and when her lips start to tremble against mine, I take her weight off her. Bouncing her ass up and down in my lap, I slam powerful thrusts into her.
“Michael,” she gasps, arching her back once more as another release flows through her. With her inner walls fluttering around my dick, my balls draw tight. My own orgasm comes hard and fast, sending me to oblivion and back.
It takes an age for our breathing to settle, and we remain in our firm embrace while our chests rise and fall as one. I brush my fingers along her back, and she tangles her own in my hair.
“Stay,” she whispers in my ear.
So, I do. Because I will do whatever she asks, always.