Because of Them (Because of Love #2)

Chapter Thirty-Six

MICHAEL

A udrey races around the house, Henry wrapped to her front. His tiny toes poke through the stretchy fabric, one foot either side of her chest. Lately, on our chests has been the only place he will sleep. It’s exhausting, but since Callum’s sister stopped past with a basket of baby wearing accessories, it’s been a little easier.

I haven’t quite mastered how to tie the long stretch of fabric. When it’s my turn—which would be more often if she would let me—Audrey still has to wrap me up while I hold Henry to my chest. Once it’s done though, we’re free to go about the rest of the day with our hands free. No more being trapped on the couch. It’s a start.

William finishes his bottle and I sit him up in my lap. Just as Audrey taught me, one hand supports under his chin while the other pats against his back. After a few gentle taps he grunts, but the adult sized burp I’m hoping for doesn’t come. I pull a cloth over my shoulder, hoisting him up so his arms dangle down my back. Standing, I continue patting and rubbing his back.

“Audrey, you don’t need to do that.”

She’s got the vacuum out and is steering it towards the hallway that leads to Maisie and the boys’ rooms. Huffing, she turns to glare at me.

“I don’t want your mother to think I can’t keep my house clean.”

William wiggles against my shoulder and burps in my ear.

“Good job buddy,” I whisper to him as I adjust my hold on him. Propping him in one arm so his head nestles into the crook of my elbow, I step around the couch.

“I promise you she will not notice if you don’t vacuum the floor. And if by some odd fluke she trips and lands face to the floor in Maisie’s room to find a tiny crumb hidden in the carpet, she will blame me, not you.”

With my free hand, I take the vacuum from Audrey and step back. She protests, moving towards me but my long strides are too quick for her. I spin on my heel and take the vacuum back to the linen closet off the laundry. The sound of clattering dishes starts up in the kitchen, so I kick the cupboard closed and race out.

Audrey has one hand on the bench supporting her back as she unloads the dishwasher. Thank God she knows how to tie the wrap so tightly, because Henry hasn’t moved an inch off her chest despite the way she leans forward.

Moving behind her, I place my hand around her middle and pull her upright. With William in one arm, I hold Audrey against my side until she drops her head back against my shoulder.

“You do not need to get the house ready for them. You’ve met my mother, she could not care less if the dishwasher is loaded.”

Audrey shakes her head, her messy bun tickling under my chin. “She always finds things though. Dishes to wash or laundry to fold.”

“She isn’t judging you for not having them done, Audrey. She doesn’t do it because she thinks you can’t, she just wants to help.” I squeeze my arm around her and kiss the top of her head. “If you want her to stop, I’ll tell her to stop.”

Audrey twists her head to me. Her mouth forms a thin, straight line, and I tip my head down to rest my forehead on hers.

“It’s really helpful when she does it,” Audrey admits. She frees her lip with a grin and slips out of my loose hold. “You know what else would be really helpful?”

I raise an eyebrow, humming for her to continue.

“If you could hold Henry while I shower?”

She’s already untying the giant knot under Henry’s bum. I stare in wonder as she unwraps the fabric, all while keeping Henry still and secure with her other hand.

“Want me to wrap you up?” she asks once she has successfully untwisted herself.

I reach for Henry, taking him from her arms and holding him on my chest, nestled close to William. The boys reach for each other, linking tiny hands above my heart. I let out a deep satisfied breath. I hope they never lose this connection.

“Nah, I’ll be fine like this.”

“Are you sure?”

“As I’ll ever be, Audrey. Go have your shower, take your time.”

She slinks off down the hall calling over her shoulder, “I can’t take my time, your parents will be here soon.”

“So, they arrive and you’re in the shower, no big deal.”

She ignores me, slipping into her bedroom and waving an arm behind her. “I’ll be quick!”

Sitting down on the living room floor, I place both boys on the playmat and hold my breath. Henry wriggles and I think maybe I was too sure of myself to not need the wrap, but I roll him onto his stomach so he can see his brother and he calms down. Facing each other, the boys fight to see who can hold their head up the longest. William is the winner, but not by much.

I stretch out on the floor next to them, tickling their toes and singing words of encouragement as they work on their neck muscles. Laying on my arms, I close my eyes and appreciate this tiny, miniscule really, moment of peace. Of both boys happily chilling in a place other than in mine or Audrey’s arms. These minutes are few, and very far between. So, I’ll soak in the silence while it lasts.

It doesn’t though, but it’s neither of the boys’ fault. The doorbell chimes, echoing through the house and causing both boys to whine from their spots beside me. I roll over to sit up, grabbing Henry and William and cradling them against my chest.

Halfway down the hall I call out, “It’s open!”

The low murmur of the shower still floats out from the ensuite, so I use my foot to pull closed the bedroom door as I walk past. Audrey deserves this. Fuck, she deserves so much more than just a shower right now, but some days it’s all I can convince her to do. But in the couple of weeks since the boys have been home, she never wants to leave their sides. I get it, but I want her to remember herself again.

Mum steps into the house with arms wide open. Her features soften when she sees me and she sighs a gentle, “ohh,” as she pats my shoulder.

Stretching her fingers around William, she carefully twists him into her arms and against her chest. He wriggles, whimpering at being shuffled around, but settles into her as she holds him close.

“Come on, um …” she looks down at his tiny face then up at me, “William?”

I chuckle. “Yeah Mum, that’s William.”

She scrunches her mouth into a smirk and shimmies her shoulders as she walks off into the house.

Dad stands at the door, his arms full of food containers. “Your mum’s been busy. I think you have enough ready cooked meals here for a year.”

“We’ll be lucky if it lasts a week with the way Maisie eats. Audrey says she’ll shoot up soon.”

He strolls past me, and I follow him to the kitchen. His expression is stoic as he loads a few of the meals into the fridge and stacks the rest in the freezer. When his arms are free, he turns to me and rests the back of his hips against the bench.

“How are you?”

“Good,” I say, but my shoulders drop and I look down at the top of Henry’s little head. His light hair swirls at his hairline. “Tired,” I admit when a yawn escapes me.

“That’s to be expected. What about with Maisie. She’s what, six?”

“Five. What about her?”

He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks up at me with raised eyebrows. “If I remember correctly, once upon a time you freaked out about the little girl and damn near ruined any chance you had with Audrey.”

“How do you know about that?”

“I talk to your mother, believe it or not. She tells me things.”

Right, well that’s the last time I’ll be confiding in her. My chest sinks at the reminder of how I treated Audrey.

“You’ve been given a second chance, Michael. I just want to make sure you’re not going to blow it.”

“I’m trying. And things are fine with Maisie. Better than fine. She’s great. I just don’t know how to show Audrey that we can be more than what we are. It doesn’t matter how much I help with the boys or Maisie, it’s like our whole life revolves around these kids. We’re a team, but I want to be more than that.”

I clear my throat, trying to cough away the scratching feeling, and turn away from my father. Tears well in my eyes.

“I don’t know how else to show her, Dad.”

“You need to find yourselves again. Having a newborn baby is hard on any relationship. Your mother and I fought like rabid squirrels when you first came about. So, imagine having two babies, after the strain of the NICU and off the back of a new relationship. It’s a recipe for fucking disaster if you ask me. I’m surprised you’re still sleeping in the same room.”

“There are no other rooms,” I mumble. “Maybe if there were—”

“No time for maybes, son. Look, you want to be something more with Audrey, you need to show her that. Outside of looking after the kids. What if your mother and I babysat the boys one day, Maisie too if you need. You and Audrey can go out, get dinner. Be human adults for a little bit.”

After filling up the kettle, he flicks it on and pulls four mugs out of the cupboard above the bench. I grab milk from the fridge and set it next to him.

“Audrey likes hers sweet,” I tell him as he scoops a teaspoon of sugar into each mug.

Adjusting Henry’s weight onto the other arm I move back and sit down at the table. With empty hands, my mother walks into the room with bright eyes and a wide smile.

“We would love to look after the babies,” she sings. “William is asleep in his cot. Let me take Henry.”

I let her, and when I sit back in the chair without the weight of a baby resting on my chest, my breaths are a little lighter. Maybe a night out would be good.

Leaving two mugs of steaming tea by the kettle, Dad carries the other two over and joins me at the table. I wrap my fingers around the mug he sets in front of me, allowing the warmth to spread through my hands.

“Talk to Audrey, then let us know,” Dad says as he sits down. He sips at his drink, sputtering as the hot liquid presumably burns his tongue.

“I don’t mean to change the subject so abruptly but—”

“But you’re going to anyway?”

“Shut up. I’ve never been good at this so just listen.”

I roll my shoulders, tilting my head to the side. He leans forward in his chair, resting his elbows either side of his mug.

“You should know I still plan to retire at the end of the year.”

“I figured.”

Shaking his head, Dad continues, “But I don’t want you to feel like you have to step up if you don’t feel ready. I can find someone else, even if it’s only temporary.”

“No.” The word shocks me as I say it, but now that he is offering to hand the business over to someone else, bile rises in my throat. I take a long sip of my tea. It burns at my throat, eating away the unease.

“I’ll do it,” I say, placing my mug on the coaster. I lean back in my chair in an attempt to remain nonchalant. Can’t have him knowing how the thought of someone else being my boss has made my skin crawl. “I’ll do it, I just need to know that I can still call on you when I inevitably need help.”

“You can Michael, you always can.”