Before You Say Goodbye

Chapter 15

“I used to believe I really knew who I was. I thought I’d be that person for the rest of my life. But then I met Bowie, completely by chance. He asked me if I wanted to eat vegan cake with him, and, even though I had no real interest in indulging a man that night, I somehow found myself saying yes. Bowie chased me with the same intensity he ploughed into everything he ever wanted in life. By the end of the night, I was shamelessly hooked on every single aspect of him. He spent the next few months forcing me to question everything I thought I knew about men, love and relationships. He didn’t even know he was doing it. Or maybe he did. I’ll never know for sure.

“Bowie was wickedly shrewd. A master manipulator. He could coerce anyone into doing almost anything with his charm and gentleness, but all he really wanted was for us to be our best selves. To follow our hearts. To put everything we have into the things we love. To forgive each other, accept each other, teach each other and to work towards making a better world for the people who aren’t as lucky as we are.

“By doing the thing he loved most, making music, Bowie left behind a legacy. People will continue to fall in love with the music he made. He had so much love to give, it poured out of him and into everything he cared about. When we lost Bowie, we lost a creative genius, a defender of the innocent, and a fiercely loving friend.

“Before he died, Bowie asked me to tell his parents and his siblings that he loved them, despite the fact he’d barely gone a day of his life without telling them himself. This is the man we’re here to say goodbye to. A man who loved others so deeply that they were his only concern in his last few hours on this earth. He told me once that if he had to face being sick every day for a thousand lifetimes or lose Ben or Emma, Marley or Bluebell, Maddie or Pip, he would bear this disease gladly. Bowie could not stand the thought of those he loved being in pain. He was glad that he was the one facing death. He was the bravest person I’ve ever met. I will never be the same because of him. Everything I thought I knew has changed because of him.

“I know you’ll agree that the world will be a poorer place without him. All I can do now is honour him with my own actions. I know that the best way to do that is to love the way he did. I hope that you’ll join me in doing so. It’s the only thing this wonderful man would ever have asked of any of us.”

Autumn folded up the piece of paper she was reading from and took a step towards Bowie’s coffin, running her quivering hands along its smooth sides in the same way she used to caress his face. She kissed the burnished oak that hid from view the only man she had ever loved.

“Goodbye, my love,” she said. “And thank you for everything.”