Beneath Dark Skies (Rolling Hills Ranch #1)

5. Farron

FIVE

FARRON

NIGHTMARES I have responsibilities here and tasks I need to get done today. Remembering everything I need to do for the community seems to do the trick, getting my mind to go down a different path, even if it’s just for a short while.

After dousing my curls in a generous amount of serum and cream, I offer a silent word of thanks to the stash of hair products I've managed to accumulate during my supply runs. The serum works its magic, coaxing my unruly curls into submission as I wrap my hair in an old t-shirt, a makeshift turban that will help lock in moisture and enhance the natural bounce of my curls. I may not be trying to impress anyone, but keeping my wild curls manageable and shiny is a luxury I refuse to give up.

Returning to my bedroom, I find Magnum still sound asleep in his cozy dog bed, his gentle snores filling the room. I let out a snort before moving over to the closet to grab some clothes.

Dressing for the day ahead, I opt for comfort over style, reaching for a pair of black sweatpants and a well-worn t-shirt, the fabric soft against my skin. The look is complete with the addition of one of Holden's oversized hoodies, still smelling softly of him, that I scavenged from his room in the main house yesterday.

I make my way to the kitchen and hesitate for a moment, torn between making a cup of coffee here or heading over to the main house. Though it’s still early in the morning, enough time has passed that my grandparents are most likely awake. They have the good stuff for coffee, and I could probably use their company today. As tempting as it is to curl back up in bed and dissociate for a few hours, staring blankly at the wall, I know it’s not the right move. If Holden were here, he would definitely drag my ass out.

Huffing out a breath, I make my decision. I throw on my favorite red boots, and Magnum's ears pick up the familiar sound. He knows that when the boots come on, it's time for us to get moving. He lets out a little yip and jumps out of the bedroom, running over to me, his tail wagging furiously. I open the door and step out into the chilly September morning, the t-shirt still plopped on my head.

I attempt to speed walk to the main house, hoping to avoid being out in the cold air for too long with my hair so wet. I can almost hear my mother’s voice scolding me for running around outside with wet hair, warning me about catching a head cold. This thought pulls me deeper into memories of her—how she would gently rub my scalp and braid my hair to help me fall asleep or the way she would pull my feet into her lap when we were watching a movie so that she could paint my toenails for me.

The nostalgia tugs at my heart, making the cold morning air feel even sharper against my skin. The sting of these memories is both comforting and painful, a bittersweet reminder of the love and care she always gave me before I got her killed.

Reaching the main house, I take a moment to collect myself before opening the door. The warmth inside wraps around me instantly, a stark contrast to the chill outside. The familiar smell of fresh coffee and my grandparents' morning routine greets me, offering a small comfort following my difficult trip down memory lane.

Magnum rushes ahead, his tiny paws clicking against the hardwood floor, and I follow, drawn by the comforting sounds of my grandparents chatting in the kitchen. Seeing them brings a sense of normalcy that I desperately need today. Ma, noticing me first, gives me a warm smile that reminds me so much of my mother that my chest constricts for a moment. She pours an extra cup of coffee while Pa pats the seat next to him at the table. I slip into the chair, grateful for their presence, and take a deep breath, feeling the weight of my emotions begin to lift, if only just a little.

“I would ask you how you slept, but I’m pretty sure I already know the answer given how early you’re up this morning, hair already washed,” Pa says, frowning as he takes in my appearance.

I bump my shoulder against his and force a big smile. “I slept as well as I do most nights.”

“So, not at all,” Pa retorts, rolling his eyes.

“You know,” Ma begins hesitantly, “Maybe your nightmares wouldn’t be so bad if you weren’t alone. You could always move back into the main house with us.”

“Ma, you know why I can’t do that,” I say, my smile fading into a frown.

“I know,” she says, sighing deeply. “But I wish you would stop shouldering the blame for something that’s not your fault, honey. I wish you would be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else.”

Her words hit a nerve, and I freeze, discomfort prickling me. My grandma’s constant efforts to get me to move back in and her comments about forgiving myself and moving on always unsettle me. How can I forgive myself for something so awful? How can I move on when my parents will never get that chance? My breathing quickens, coming in short, sharp bursts. I clench and unclench my hands, trying to calm down.

Ma must notice how close I am to a panic attack because she swiftly changes the subject. “Trevor came looking for you yesterday evening when you were out riding EJ.”

The change in topic helps the panic dissipate, and the mention of Trevor has me rolling my eyes. “Let me guess, he showed up with his rake?”

Ma’s eyes widen as she thinks back. “Now that you mention it, I think he may have had it with him. ”

Pa shakes his head, placing his arm around me and pulling me into his side. “That boy is an embarrassment, Nora. He’s been chasing after Farron since they were kids, and he’s only getting worse with age. He’s lucky you were the one who answered the door last night and not me.”

I chuckle, the tension easing. “You know, before Holden left, he was trying to convince me to give Trevor a chance. I’m not actually sure how serious he was about it…”

Pa’s arm tightens around me protectively. “You better not give that boy a chance, Farron. He’s an idiot. And if he’s the only option you have during the end of the world, it’s probably better to just be on your own.”

I snort, finding my grandpa’s disdain for Trevor amusing, especially for a man who doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. “Don’t worry, Pa. I wouldn’t even want to touch Trevor with that damn rake of his.”

“You’ve got enough on your plate without worrying about that fool,” Pa says, kissing my temple tenderly. “Let us help you more, Farron. We’re here for you, always.”

“I know, Pa. I appreciate it,” I say softly, taking a deep breath as their presence steadies me. “I just...It’s not easy to lean on anyone other than Holden, and it hurts that he’s gone. I’m scared.”

Ma reaches across the island, grabbing my hands in hers. “I know, honey. We’re scared, too. But Holden’s one of the most capable men I’ve ever known. He’ll be back before you know it.”

I glance at Pa, who’s nodding to her words, though his eyes are now glassy and distant. His worry is palpable, mirroring my own.

“It’s just...so hard,” I confess, my voice trembling. “Every day feels like a battle; without Holden here, it’s even tougher. I’m trying to be strong, but some days... ”

Ma squeezes my hands gently, her touch grounding me. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, Farron. It’s okay to feel scared and to lean on us. We love you, and we’re in this together.”

Pa’s eyes refocus, and he gives me a reassuring smile. “We’re a family, and families stick together. Holden will come back, and until then, we’ll support each other. You’re not alone, sweetheart. You have us, and you have Jay and Todd, too.”

Their words warm me, slowly easing the ache in my chest. Even though I know myself and know the calm will never last, I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Right. I’ll try to remember that.”

“Good,” Ma says, her eyes soft with love. “Now, how about some breakfast? We’ve got more coffee in the pot, and I was just about to get some fresh biscuits in the oven. Want to help me with the omelets?”

I nod and get up, moving over to the stove. Ma and I get to work, and with that, we fall into a comfortable silence. Magnum comes over to me and curls up at my feet. The sounds of our cooking and Magnum’s little snores create a soothing backdrop.

“Thanks, Ma,” I say softly, breaking the silence. “For everything.”

She looks up, her eyes meeting mine with a gentle understanding. “That’s what family’s for, honey. We take care of each other.”

I nod and take a deep breath. With the smell of coffee, biscuits, and bacon permeating the air, wrapping around me like a warm blanket, I start to relax. It’s a small solace, but it’s enough for now.