Beneath Dark Skies (Rolling Hills Ranch #1)

26. Theo

TWENTY-SIX

THEO

STARRY NIGHT

Day 410

I gaze at Farron and watch as a myriad of emotions dance across her features in rapid succession. I can tell she’s having a hard time with us being here. From the subtle cues I've gathered, it's clear that something significant has occurred recently, something that's weighing heavily on her mind. The name Holden keeps coming up, suggesting a significant connection that extends beyond a casual relationship. My fist clenches involuntarily at the realization that she might already be spoken for. It's a feeling I have no right to entertain, considering how little I truly know about Farron. Yet, there's an inexplicable pull towards her, a feeling that she somehow belongs with me.

But if someone else is in the picture, I’m not going to let myself fight for her affections. I’ve been down that road, and it left me nowhere good. Regardless, I appreciate Farron’s presence. She exudes a calming aura, even with her fiery temperament. She's one of the few who treats me as an individual, not just an extension of Adrian or Kenji, and for that, I'm grateful.

Farron passes the paper back to me. “ Never apologize for my visits. I’m more than happy to check in on you.”

I run my finger over the word ‘never’ and can feel the extra indent in the paper, like she was annoyed that I even brought it up. A silent chuckle escapes me at the thought of her righteous indignation. Farron would be the type to get angry at me for apologizing.

Farron: sudden, improbable, unforeseen. We had all been hoping to find Adrian's family, and the disappointment of once again not finding them was a blow for the three of us and particularly devastating for Adrian. But Farron's presence is an unexpected twist.

It's clear she's adept at adapting to those around her, a chameleon in her own right. Yet, she's not exactly someone who slips through the cracks unnoticed. Her presence is too striking for that. I'm convinced it's her emotions she hopes to hide, not herself. Despite her best efforts to mask her feelings, they flicker across her face, giving glimpses of the turmoil she’s wrestling with inside.

She’s sharp with Kenji, taking Adrian’s flirtations in stride, showing pure adoration for her grandparents, and treating me with a kindness I hadn’t expected. She navigates each interaction with ease, adapting seamlessly, yet there's an undercurrent of sadness that she can't fully conceal.

As I watch her now, looking up at the night sky, I’m struck by how the soft light from the porch casts shadows and highlights, enhancing her natural beauty. Her curly raven hair tumbles around her shoulders, and the green beanie she wears makes her eyes shine even brighter, reflecting the starlight. She’s a beacon that lights the way, even when the shadows surround her. Despite the sorrow that clings to her, she would still be the brightest star in the night sky.

Since the world changed, the sky has transformed too. The days seem brighter, the sunsets more vibrant, and the night sky an endless expanse of dreams. Whenever I can’t sleep, I go outside and look up, finding a strange sense of wholeness in the vastness above.

Even though I have Adrian and Kenji by my side, my brothers in this world, being Deaf presents its own challenges. It's hard not to feel alone sometimes. But when I'm out here, under the open sky, I feel connected. Like the world is less lonely, even in these darkest times. Nature will always be my safe space, always the place I go to find peace.

Being out here with Farron brings me the strongest sense of peace I think I’ve felt in an eternity. The solitude of the night and the outdoors has always been my sanctuary. But now, sharing this space with her, I realize that true peace is more profound and precious when shared. It's an entirely different feeling with her beside me, her quiet strength adding a layer of comfort to the night.

I glance over at her again only to find her already looking at me. Her gaze is steady, curious, and I realize I've been silent for too long, lost in my thoughts. The connection I feel with Farron has been growing, and though I barely know her, it's undeniable. I need to know where I stand, to understand if she feels even a fraction of what I do.

“Do you mind if I ask you something?” I write, handing her the paper.

“If it's about Maggie's potluck hash and whether or not I’ve tried it, I refuse to answer,” she replies, a teasing glint in her eyes.

I can't help the laugh that escapes me, a genuine sound that I know would normally cause me to feel embarrassed, given that I can’t hear myself. Her eyes sparkle with amusement at my reaction, and for a moment, the weight of the world lifts, leaving only the two of us and this shared moment.

“Who is Holden?” I write, my hand hesitating before passing the paper to her.

Her reaction is immediate; the sparkle in her eyes dims, replaced by a shadow of pain. Shit. For a moment, I regret asking, fearing I’ve overstepped. I reach out instinctively so I can apologize, but she pulls the paper closer, her expression pensive as she stares downwards, seeming to formulate her response. I hold my breath, waiting for her to share this part of her life with me.

When she finally hands the paper back, I can feel the sorrow in the words I’ll never be able to actually hear. “He's my twin brother. He left on a supply run right before you guys arrived and hasn't been back.” A little further down, she’s added, “He should have been back by now.”

I release the breath I was holding, but the relief is short-lived and replaced by heartache as I digest her words, and the gravity of the situation. I can see the depth of her worry etched in her features, the pain she’s been carrying silently. I want to comfort her, to offer words that might ease her burden, but nothing seems adequate.

Instead, I reach out and place a hand on her arm, hoping the gesture conveys my empathy and understanding. Farron looks at my hand and then up at me, her eyes reflecting a mix of gratitude and lingering sorrow.

Before I can even begin to write, Farron gestures for the pad back. She quickly wipes her face, her movements swift and determined, as if she’s trying to erase any sign of vulnerability.

“What about you? What happened when the outbreak hit?” she writes.

Clearly, she doesn’t want to dive any deeper into the subject of her brother. I know from bits and pieces that something happened to her parents, but I’m not sure if that was before or after the outbreak. Tonight, she’s given me a small glimpse into her world and who she is, and I’ll gladly take what I can get.

“Well you already know I was working as a horticulturist before the outbreak. I had actually just gotten a job that was close to Kenji and Adrian, so it felt like everything was coming together. Kenji and I’s mom died a few years before so I think it was all a little murky and messy for a moment, and then it quickly became messy again with the outbreak,” I admit, though I’m careful not to say too much about Momma Suzie’s passing. I feel like if anyone should share that with Farron, it’s Kenji.

“Did Kenji’s mom adopt you?” Farron writes, though she seems nervous when she passes the note to me, as though she’s worried she’s asked something wrong.

She hasn’t, but I take a moment to mull through my thoughts. I decide not to delve too deeply into my past, not even sure what’s worth mentioning about me and my life, choosing instead to simply share how I came to be with Kenji and Adrian.

“Yes. My mom died in a car accident,” I write, the memories flooding back as I put pen to paper. “I had an awful panic attack when I woke up in the hospital alone… she didn’t make it. Kenji’s mom took me in, made me a part of their little family, and learned ASL for me. I met Adrian not long after, and it’s been us three since.”

She takes a moment to read it, her eyes scanning the words repeatedly. When she finally hands the pad back, her expression is one of genuine understanding rather than pity.

“I’m sorry,” she writes, her eyes reflecting a shared pain.

“Thank you. It’s okay though, it was a long time ago, and I’ve learned to make my peace with it. Now we’re here, a long way from home, but it’s beautiful.”

She asks where we’re from, and I tell her about Oregon, a small town with even smaller minds. It was challenging for three kids who didn’t fit the mold, two kids who were adopted, and one being Deaf. The town wasn’t unkind, but it wasn’t welcoming either. Kenji, Adrian, and I were always the outsiders. We faced stares, whispers, and sometimes outright exclusion. But we survived because we had each other. Our bond was our shield.

“Would you ever go back?” Farron asks, her eyes searching mine.

I hesitate, unsure of how to answer. I sense her mixed feelings about our presence here. On one hand, there’s the unease of newcomers disrupting the fragile balance of her world; on the other, there’s a subtle hope that we might find a place among them. I decide to be honest, to give her the truth of it, knowing that’s all I can really do.

“I don’t think so,” I write slowly, each word deliberate. “It holds too many bad memories, and we never talked about settling there. This place, though…there’s something about Rolling Hills that just feels right.”

I hand over the paper, nerves gnawing at me as I wait for her response, causing me to start fidgeting with my glasses on my nose. She takes her time, her face thoughtful as she reads my words. I watch as she processes what I’ve said, the emotions flickering across her features. Finally, she picks up the pen and writes her reply.

“This place has a certain way of making it feel like home.”

I read her words twice, feeling their significance settle into my heart. A slow smile spreads across my face, the tension in my chest easing. It feels like a good sign—a very good sign.

“So, I think it’s your turn now. Tell me something about you. What were you like before all this happened?” I ask, my curiosity piqued.

I take the pad back from her, and she has a slight smile playing on her beautiful face.

“Oh, you know…The angsty teenager who wanted to escape her small town because no one understood her. Thought some knight in shining armor in skater gear would show up and save the day.”

I can’t help but laugh at her response. “At least you didn’t spend all of your rent money on a last-minute concert ticket to My Chemical Romance–a band you can’t even hear–just to impress a girl, end up getting robbed, and have no choice but to text your brother to send you money to get home.”

Farron's eyes sparkle with amusement as she reads my words, and then a laugh escapes her lips. She quickly brings her hand to her mouth, as if to stifle the sound, realizing perhaps that she was being a bit too loud.

In this moment, I can't help but wish I could hear her laughter. I envision it as the melody of a gentle stream, flowing freely and effortlessly. Though I've never heard the sound of running water, I can sense its soothing rhythm, and I imagine Farron's laugh resonates with that same energy.

She passes the paper back to me. “Was it Kenji?” She has a glint in her eyes like she knows I was in deep shit.

I give her a little scowl at her accurate guess. “I tried Adrian first, but he never responded. Let's just say Kenji was not happy. To be fair, I didn’t tell him where I was going. He showed up at the house after work, and I was nowhere to be found. So he was freaking out. I don’t blame him.”

We sit like that for a while longer, passing paper and pen back and forth in the quiet of the night. A few times Farron will share something on paper, and when I look up I see her attempting to sign some of the words to me as well, causing a giant smile to break out across my face, never faltering.

Farron shares snippets of her childhood on the farm, painting a sweet picture of a small Farron running around with her brother at all hours of the day. She tells me of her love for animals, a passion that ignited from a young age. In turn, I offer glimpses into my past life as a horticulturist, recounting how I stumbled into the field through a college class and found myself drawn to the idea of working on a farm like this one.

As we talk, I realize how unexpectedly attached I've become to this place, to Farron. The idea of leaving, of uprooting once again, fills me with a rush of anxiety. The guys and I have basically been nomads from the start, but now, the thought of moving on feels unsettling, especially when it means leaving her behind.

Farron notices the shift in my mood, her gaze questioning. I don't want to burden her with my fears, afraid it might push her away. So, I force a smile and fake a yawn, telling her goodnight on paper.

Her expression falters slightly, but she nods in understanding and mouths a silent “Goodnight, Theo.” I watch her until she disappears around the corner, feeling a pang of longing as she fades from view.