Beneath Dark Skies (Rolling Hills Ranch #1)

28. Adrian

TWENTY-EIGHT

ADRIAN

CONFESSIONS

Day 412

The sun is just beginning to set in the sky, casting a golden glow over the fields as Theo and I begin our trek through Rolling Hills. The air is filled with the earthy scent of tilled soil and the distant sounds of farm animals. We’re making our way to the Abel ranch, eager to find Kenji. Since we arrived here, we haven't spent much time together, just the three of us, and I’m longing for some quality time with my brothers. It's been a few weeks since we settled in, and we’ve all fallen into our routines.

Theo is still healing, moving around with the help of a crutch, but he’s already brimming with plans alongside Farron. They're working on cultivating plants for their healing properties. Theo is keen to visit the other farms, share his knowledge, and see how their crops can be improved. His dedication to this new community is inspiring.

Kenji has been engrossed in work at the Abel farm alongside Jay. He grumbles about the tasks, but I can tell he enjoys the physical labor. Kenji has always taken pride in hard work, finding satisfaction in a job well done. The sweat and dirt don't bother him; they seem to invigorate him. Plus, I bet it doesn't hurt that he’s getting even more ripped than before. Asshole .

I've found my niche in the kitchen, helping with the cooking. Preparing meals for so many people has been a joy. Cooking has always been a passion of mine, and seeing everyone enjoy the food I make is incredibly rewarding. It definitely doesn’t hurt that Nora is the sweetest woman I’ve ever met, making me feel loved and valuable from the start.

Beyond the kitchen, I've spent a lot of time with Todd. We've done thorough perimeter checks to ensure the safety of the community and sorted supplies across the farms. Todd has mentioned taking me on a supply run in the next few weeks. The idea makes me anxious, but I also feel ready for it.

Living here, even if only for a short time, has changed me. I’ve grown accustomed to this place and this way of life. It’s simpler here, and the peace that exists is due to just how much everyone contributes. If supply runs are a part of maintaining that peace, then I’m determined to do my part.

“T, I think my grandma moved faster than you,” I sign to Theo, knowing he can’t respond with one hand occupied by the crutch. He scowls at me and raises his free hand to flip me off. A belly laugh escapes me at Theo’s quick response. He never ceases to surprise me, especially lately, as his confidence seems to be growing.

As we walk into the barn, we find Kenji bucking hay with leather gloves on. The barn smells of hay and earth, with dust motes dancing in the beams of golden light filtering through the open doors. Kenji’s shirt is damp with sweat, and his face is streaked with dirt, evidence of a hard day's work. I can see the satisfaction in his eyes, even if he tries to play it off as annoyance.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed his wardrobe slowly changing. He’s been getting most of his clothes from Jay, and I always laugh at how tight his jeans are. It’s like Jay is trying to turn him into a real cowboy .

“Hey, cowboy, how you doing?” I yell over at Kenji. He glances over his shoulder and rolls his eyes, finishing with the last pile of hay before walking over to us. He removes his leather gloves and stuffs them into his back pocket while Theo sits down on a hay bale, setting his crutch to the side.

“What are you guys doing here?” Kenji asks, then directs his gaze to Theo’s leg. “Should you be walking this much?”

“Calm down, Dad. I have my crutch, I’m fine.” Theo quips back, "Anyways I’ll be off of it in a few days.” Kenji gives him a playful shove that doesn’t jolt him too much. I chuckle at their exchange, realizing how much I’ve missed this. Being around them is a soothing balm; they’re my home.

Kenji's face grows serious before he asks his next question, turning toward me. “We’ve tried to give you some space over the last two weeks, but it’s time to talk about your mom and sisters. How are you holding up?”

I can’t hold back my scoff at his question. I knew we were going to have this conversation eventually, but I wanted to avoid it for as long as I could. It’s one thing talking about my family with Nora, but having to face it all head on with my brothers is a million times more difficult. “How am I supposed to be holding up after making a declaration that this was the last place we’d look for them, only to be disappointed once again that they are nowhere to be found?” I ask with a shrug. “Every time we hit another dead end, it feels like a piece of me gets lost with them. I keep wondering what the point is… if it’s even worth it to keep searching.”

Kenji's frown deepens. “I already told you, Adrian, we’ll keep moving. We’ll keep looking for them. You know Theo and I don’t have any problem doing so.”

I shake my head, feeling the weight of the exhaustion pulling me down. “But I do, Kenji. I’m tired. I can’t keep doing this. It’s like... every time I hope, every time I think, ‘Maybe this is it, maybe this is where they’ll be,’ I just set myself up to be crushed all over again.” My hands tremble, and I hate how weak I feel, but I can't hide it anymore. “I can’t keep living in this cycle of hope and despair. It’s breaking me, and I don’t know how much more I can take.”

Theo’s hands move in response, careful and measured. “It’s okay to feel this way, Adrian. No one expects you to be unbreakable.”

Kenji nods, his eyes softer now. “If you want to stop, we’ll stop. But don’t shut us out. We’ll carry the hope with you, whatever that looks like.”

I swallow hard, trying to keep the tears from falling, but it’s no use. “I just… I have to believe they’re okay somewhere,” I sign, feeling the tears blur my vision. “Even if I never find them, I need to believe that.”

“Remember how your mom would always make us sit down for those Sunday dinners as we got older, no matter how busy we were?” Kenji asks. “She’d tell us that family comes first. She believed in that so strongly.”

The memory tugs at my chest. I can see her smile in my mind, the way she’d gently scold us if we didn’t help with the dishes after. My sisters would tease me about being her favorite, but they knew we were all loved equally.

“We’ll just keep hoping that, somewhere out there, your mom is making your sisters stick to those Sunday dinners with just the three of them, ” Kenji says. The dam finally breaks, and I bury my face in my hands as the tears come. I feel Kenji’s hand on my back, Theo’s comforting presence beside me. They don’t say anything, just stay with me as I fall apart.

After a few moments, I force myself to take a deep breath, wiping at my eyes. “Sorry,” I sign quickly, trying to push the emotion aside. “Let’s…let’s talk about something else. Please.”

Kenji scrutinizes me for a minute before deciding what he sees is enough to change the subject like I’ve asked. He turns back to Theo, “Has Farron come and checked on you today?”

“Yes, like she does every day. What is your problem with her? She’s been nothing but nice,” Theo says, his exasperation clear in his movements.

Kenji scoffs, the sound one of annoyance, his emotions swirling beneath the surface like a turbulent current. And though this topic may be riling Kenji up a bit, thoughts of my Sunshine are just enough to get my mind on a different track, to calm the erratic racing of my heart and the anxiety that’s piled up in my chest.

“Well, she’s been nice to us,” I chime in, shooting a watery wink Kenji's way.

Since day one, Kenji and Farron have been at each other’s throats, but I can’t exactly blame her. Kenji’s initial distrust comes off strong, and it’s clear she has her guard up around us. He needs to learn to ease up a bit.

“You should start being nice to her. I like it here, and I want it to work out,” Theo says, looking directly at Kenji. We haven’t had a chance to openly discuss it yet, but I can tell all three of us love it here. We’ve settled into routines, and everyone’s been welcoming—well, everyone but Trevor.

Kenji’s eyes soften at Theo’s request. Theo is his soft spot. When we were kids and Kenji didn’t want to do something, I would always get Theo to ask because Kenji could never say no to him. It works like a charm, so I may or may not still use that tactic to this day.

“I agree with Theo,” I say. “I said this would be the last place I’d look for my family, and now more than ever, I’m content with that decision. I want to stay and make this place home.” Despite how tough the adjustment has been for me at times, particularly when I think of my family, I feel connected to this community and the people in it. I think this is the perfect place to settle down long-term.

Confusion flits through Kenji’s eyes as he looks at Theo. “And you? ”

Theo shrugs, looking contemplative. “Yeah, K, I want to make this a home. I want to stay.” He looks down for a moment, then lets out a deep breath. “And she’s here.”

The relief that washes over me is immediate. I didn’t want to say it out loud, but I feel the same way. Something about Farron has drawn me in since day one, and I don’t want to leave her.

“I agree. I think we should stay and make Sunshine ours,” I say with determination. Kenji’s brows furrow in disbelief, but he shouldn’t be that surprised. Theo can't stop talking about his checkups with Farron, sharing every little detail he learns about her. He’s obsessed, and I’m pretty sure I’m right there with him.

“Ours?” Kenji repeats, skepticism thick in his voice.

“Yes, ours,” I affirm, watching as realization dawns in Kenji’s eyes. The unspoken tension in the barn hangs heavy, and each word spoken feels like a step on a tightrope.

“There’s something here we all want to explore,” I continue, gesturing wildly with my arms around us. Kenji scoffs and mutters, “Not me,” his gaze flitting between Theo and me.

“Yes, even you, grumpy pants,” I tease lightly, though my heart is pounding in my chest. “Keep denying it all you want, but you want to stay.”

Kenji’s expression hardens, a storm brewing in his eyes. “What makes you think I have any interest in her?” he retorts.

It’s my turn to scoff, and Kenji’s glare intensifies. It’s clear to anyone who looks closely enough just how palpable the tension is between Kenji and Farron. Even when they’re at odds and fighting, their bodies seem to gravitate towards each other, their eyes constantly drawn to the other.

“You two are thinking with the wrong head,” Kenji says with a firm shake of his head. “You don’t even know her. What about when the ever-mysterious Holden makes his way back to the ranch? You think she’ll pick either of you over him? ”

The way Kenji brings up Holden, it’s clear to me he must think Holden is her boyfriend or some sort of lover. I share a look with Theo, and his face tells me he’s thinking the same thing. We have a silent conversation, and Theo smirks, telling me he agrees with letting Kenji think whatever he wants for now. We can correct him another time.

However, my mind takes off as the mention of Holden sends a ripple of uncertainty through me, a reminder of the complexities of the situation. The barn seems to shrink around us, the air getting heavier as Theo and I let Kenji’s words sink in. If Holden does come back, would he even be okay with Farron being with any of us, let alone more than one?

“I don’t want to explore anything with Farron, and neither should you two,” Kenji persists, his frustration palpable. “What happens when you both get close to her and she ends up picking one and breaking the heart of the other? What about when it all falls apart and we have to leave? What then?”

Theo’s gaze softens, his empathy shining through. “That’s not going to happen,” he asserts, his movements steady with conviction.

“How do you know that?” Kenji demands, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.

Theo pauses, searching for the right words. “Honestly, I don’t know,” he admits, his vulnerability a stark contrast to the strength in his movements. “But something tells me that it will work out.”

Kenji’s skepticism is written plainly across his face, and his disbelief is evident. After all, we’ve only been at the ranch for a few weeks, and the idea of forming such deep connections already seems absurd to him. But for Theo and I, there’s something about this place, something that feels like home, that makes us willing to take the risk.

After all, when the world has crumbled and everything else has faded into oblivion, how much more is there to lose?