Beneath Dark Skies (Rolling Hills Ranch #1)

37. Theo

THIRTY-SEVEN

THEO

BENEATH THE STARS

Day 428

I’m seated on that same familiar blanket, nestled in that same field of wildflowers where Farron kissed me. Each day since then, I’ve returned to this spot, hoping that maybe she’ll appear, even if it’s just for ASL lessons, while she pretends our kiss never happened. But every day has ended in disappointment.

It’s been more than a week since that unforgettable moment, and Farron has been evading not just me but Adrian and Kenji as well. Well, at least she was avoiding all three of us. Adrian showed up at the house yesterday morning right before breakfast, dressed in his clothes from the day before, appearance disheveled, and a giant, shit-eating grin on his face. He confessed to me straight away, recounting how he’d spent the day prior with Farron, hoping to break her streak of avoidance by spending some time together.

He also divulged the events of that morning when they woke up, and I couldn’t help but feel a surge of jealousy and frustration. Jealous that he had the chance to taste her first, that he got the first opportunity to spend the night with her. Frustrated that Farron had been avoiding me, ostensibly over the stress of our kiss, only to find herself in Adrian’s company and then going even further intimately, leaving me in the dark about her feelings for me and where we stand.

With each passing day, my anxiety mounts, suffocating me. I find myself wrestling with self-doubt, questioning every interaction, every word between Farron and I. Did I misread her or push her? Where did I go wrong?

It’s challenging to muster up happiness for Adrian when I know it’s coming at the expense of me and my feelings. His happiness is a painful reminder that I’ve been sidelined once again, just an extension of the other two. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.

I’m well aware that my emotions are my own to bear and work through, and I don’t blame Adrian or even Farron for how I feel. They’re navigating their own paths, figuring out their own feelings. But understanding doesn’t make the hollow emptiness any easier.

My throat tightens, and my head throbs with a dull ache as I exhale heavily. I sink onto my back, bringing my arms over my face to shield my eyes from the sun.

Deep breath in. Hold for three. Deep breath out.

I lay there alone with my thoughts for a long while, I find I don’t have it in me to get up just yet. I don’t want to sit through another dinner with the Hills and my brothers, silently suffering while my eyes can’t stray away from that one empty seat at the dinner table. As the sun starts to dip far on the horizon, casting hues of twilight, I feel the ground vibrating beneath me, a steady pounding drawing towards me.

I lift my head up and open my eyes, greeted by the sight of Farron on her horse as she makes her way towards me. For a fleeting moment, I’m almost convinced I’m imagining it, almost convinced I must have fallen asleep amidst the wildflowers and am now dreaming. When she makes her way to me, she stops, and I can’t tear my gaze away from her as the setting sun casts a halo of golden light behind her, illuminating her silhouette and making her look like something celestial .

We remain motionless for a moment, suspended in time, our eyes locked in a silent exchange. Then, finally, Farron breaks the spell. Her hand motions for me to come towards her before she points behind her with her thumb, indicating she wants me to climb up behind her on EJ.

I simply nod, a surge of anticipation coursing through me as I leap to my feet to join her. Taking her offered hand, I climb up behind her on EJ, feeling the warmth of her touch seep into my skin. With a gentle squeeze of her hands around mine, she guides the horse forward, navigating the familiar trails with ease.

We ride in silence for a while and eventually reach a small and secluded hilltop, an overlook offering a view of Rolling Hills. As we dismount, Farron tends to EJ while my eyes take in the scene before us—a blanket strewn with pillows, a basket of food, and a crackling fire.

The thoughtful gesture takes me aback, my heart swelling with surprise and gratitude. Did she do this all for me? Farron must sense my bewilderment because she rushes to grab a notebook and pen off one of the blankets, scribbling a message before passing it to me.

“It’s for you. I wanted to talk to you, to apologize. Will you sit with me for a while?”

Such a silly question to ask when I’ve already fallen so hard for her. Without hesitation, I nod, a rush of warmth flooding my chest at the sight of her smile. Taking my hand, she leads me to the blanket, where we settle in side by side, the crackling fire casting dancing shadows across her face.

I watch as she wrings her hands nervously and bites her lower lip. She picks up the notebook again, hesitating before she begins to write, her motions uncertain. She ends up scratching out whatever she wrote and starts again. Turning my gaze towards the overlook, I give her space, not wanting to add any pressure.

When she finally passes the notebook back to me, I’m not surprised to see a lengthy note.

“I owe you a huge apology, Theo. I’m so sorry. I regret what happened last week. Not the kiss, but the way I ran from you and then stayed away. I was struggling with my feelings for you. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, and it scares me. Especially since I feel something for Adrian, too.”

My mind stutters at her admission of having feelings for me, and the burst of joy that I feel in my chest is unmistakable. I also don’t miss how she omitted Kenji in that, and I wonder if she’s realized what’s going on between the two of them as well and is choosing to ignore it.

“I assume Adrian already told you, but we were…intimate yesterday. It just happened, and I don't regret being with him that way. I just regret making a mess of everything, of not coming clean to you about my feelings sooner.”

I stay still, digesting her words and trying to find the right response. The air is charged with tension, and I sense Farron's apprehension, her uncertainty palpable in the stillness of the evening. I must remain silent and unmoving for a long time because she snatches the notebook up from me and hastily scribbles again, turning the page to face me.

“I really am so sorry , Theo. I care about you so much, and I never wanted to hurt you. I understand if you can’t forgive me.”

I shake my head, not willing to let her go on any further like this. Taking the notebook from her, I write my response carefully, my words a reflection of what I truly feel inside.

“Farron,” I write. “I’m not mad at you for being with Adrian. Sure, it sucked to hear from Adrian what you two got up to while you weren’t speaking to me, but I’m not mad about that. ”

She reads it, tears brimming her eyes as she does before she passes the notebook back to me.

“But you are mad?”

I shake my head again.

“I’m hurt and disappointed that you ran off on me and even more so that you ignored me for so long. If you had spoken to me about what you were feeling, I would have told you the truth: Adrian’s my brother, and he deserves to be happy just as much as anyone else. And you also deserve to be happy. If Adrian can help chase away that haunted look you get in your eyes, then you both deserve that.”

“But I have feelings for you, too,” she writes. “I feel more for you right now than I ever have for anyone before.”

“If I get to have a piece of your soul, that’s more than enough for me. You have no idea the depth of my feelings for you, Farron, just in this short amount of time. I don’t need you to pick between Adrian and me. I just want to be with you, whatever that looks like.”

When she reads my note, her breath hitches, and she looks up at me with skepticism. I roll my eyes and grab her hand, placing a kiss on her palm. She pulls back to write another note.

“You forgive me?” she asks.

“Of course. Just promise me you won’t run away from me and ignore me like that again,” I tell her. “It was difficult to be shut out like that. I felt like you tossed me to the side, as though I didn’t matter.”

She shakes her head vehemently, and I give her a soft smile and nod to tell her I understand. I pull her into my arms and hold her, content to sit and gaze up at the stars. It makes me think of the last time we were stargazing a few weeks ago after the first potluck when I was worried about scaring her off with my feelings. I’m ecstatic at how much things have changed between us since then.

After a while, she grabs the notebook again, writing me another note.

“This is the overlook Holden, and I used to always come to. It was our secret spot, the place we would sneak away to when we wanted space from our parents.”

My chest squeezes at the newfound knowledge. I know how terrified she is for Holden, and I know how protective she is when it comes to anything to do with him. Knowing that she would bring me here as an apology to the space she’s only ever shared with her twin feels profoundly important. Undeniably meaningful.

“I’m honored that you would bring me here to the spot that’s only ever been for the two of you,” I write.

“I wanted to bring you somewhere that means a lot to me. Because you mean a lot to me. I wanted to share it with you.”

A warm blush works its way into her cheeks, visible even in the firelight, as she averts her eyes from me, biting her lip again. I reach out with my thumb to release her lower lip, gently rubbing against the spot where she’s bitten hard enough to break the skin. Her skin is soft beneath my touch, and the connection feels like a lifeline.

Time seems to stand still as her eyes lock onto mine before dropping down to my lips and back up. The tension is palpable, like static electricity in the air. I don't move, don't even breathe, afraid of destroying this fragile moment between us, terrified of scaring her off again. It feels like an eternity that we stare at each other, though it must only be seconds before she surges forward.

Her lips meet mine with a voracious intensity, even more heightened than the first time we kissed. The world around us fades away, leaving only the sensation of her mouth against mine, the warmth of her body close to me. I can feel the urgency in her kiss, a mixture of longing and desperation that matches my own.

When we finally break apart, both of us are breathless, our foreheads resting against each other. Her eyes are wide, pupils dilated, and her lips swollen and red. She stares at me with hooded eyes, taking in my appearance, until she finally speaks. I may not be able to hear her, but there’s no denying the words falling off her tongue as I read her lips while she reaches behind one of the pillows and pulls out a condom.

“I want you.”