Beneath the Watching

19. Mabel

19

MABEL

Stefan informed me that everyone moved to Lucian’s castle up north, which took me by surprise. How did that happen so fast? He’d been gone, away in the Second Realm, far longer than either of had wanted or expected. The way time worked in this world had my head spinning.

He transitioned us to the other fortress in a blur, holding me close and nuzzling my neck. When I opened my eyes, we were in the mountains, outside a castle that looked like it would’ve been at home in The Lord of the Rings or some other such fantastical setting. Sheets of granite surrounded us on all sides and snow drifted lazily from the steel-gray skies.

Apparently, while he was gone Josiah had gifted him with the ability to transition within Realms rather than solely to and from, which was a burden of the demon race. Stefan told me he’d only utilize the unexpected gift in emergency circumstances, not wanting others to know he possessed the coveted skill.

Stefan led us through the halls of the castle without incident, the bustling crowds, and armed guards seemingly oblivious to us. I’d half expected Lucian to come storming in with a group of black-clad mercenaries waiting to seize me, but nothing happened.

Thinking of the man who was supposed to be Kiara’s father sent the uncomfortable feeling roiling through me that I again dismissed. If he’d really had any plans for me or there was reason to be concerned, Stefan would’ve told me.

As I glanced around, I noticed workers were carting decorations and piles of cloth on gilded carts with a purpose in their steps, all headed in the same direction.

“What’s going on?”

Stefan peered around us before answering. “Lucian is having a Celebration ball for Kiara soon. No, you can’t talk to her. Yes, we will be there. I’ll spell you so you’re not recognized, don’t worry,” he said, confidently.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “She’s fine.”

“How do you know?” I wanted to ask him to describe “fine,” but I refrained. There was too much room for him to interpret it in a way that wouldn’t help me.

His chest rose and fell. “Lucian has me counseling her.” He shook his head. “She’s annoying but she’s alive.”

The realization that he’d been talking to my friend this whole time and hadn’t told me stung. “I’m glad she’s alive,” was what I said instead of how I really felt.

He nodded. “Come on,” he clasped my forearm and urged me forward, “we have things to discuss.”

Benjamin and Jack were in the sitting room when we entered, arguing over a crossword puzzle. Jack gave me a quick dirty look in answer to my smile, reminding me I likely got him in trouble, and I averted my eyes.

“Leave,” Stefan ordered the two men. “Wait out in the hall.”

The men exited and I followed Stefan to a bedroom. “Sit,” he instructed me.

Perching on the edge of the bed, I asked, “What was Colette talking about, you being counterfeit?”

He pressed his lips together and stared at me before speaking. “It's not something I discuss, and it's only come up recently. I’ve done everything possible to keep it undetected.” He paused. “An assumption of me was made a long time ago and when I realized the advantages, I never corrected it.”

I could see the mental and emotional battle playing out as his fingers twitched. “What is it?” I asked patiently.

Quietly, he answered, “I’m not a full-blooded demon. My mother was human.”

Stefan paced a bit and then muttered something about needing a shower. Watching him move back and forth unsettled me, I’d never seen him quite this flustered before and it sent a flicker of insecurity through me.

“You said something about punishing me before. You can spank me. If you want.” He lifted his head, a stunned expression marring his features. “I mean, if it will make you feel better.” I scooted back on the bed.

When his eyebrows returned to their usual scowl he stalked toward the bed. “No Mabel, that won’t make me feel better right now. What the hell is wrong with you?”

He stomped away and yanked his belt from his pants, slapping it down on top of a dresser, startling me. “I don’t know,” I replied quietly. “I thought you liked it. Maybe it would be relaxing?”

Embarrassment washed over me thinking of my ill-timed comment. I knew I was incredibly awkward and with everything that’d happened, I was weak. I wasn’t sure how to take control of myself, or the unusual circumstances I’d found myself in and knew I’d have to find better coping mechanisms. What had worked for me in the past just didn’t cut it anymore. My face flushed, wishing I could take back my stupid statement.

Stefan dragged his hand down his face, moaning, and returned to the side of the bed. “I did like it. But hurting you for the sake of inflicting pain does not make me feel better. That’s not really what it’s about.”

He smoothed a hand down my arm. “There’s a lot going on. We’re going to go to this ball in a few days and you’ll stay by my side unless I tell you otherwise—but you will obey me immediately if I tell you to do something.”

I glanced at him. “Okay.” I’d agreed,

Shaking his head, he said, “I just have a feeling about it.”

He turned back to me. “I’ve let down my guard around you, rearranged my whole life trying to protect you. I’ve let you in and I’ve never done that with anyone before. I’m not telling you that because I expect something in return. I’m telling you because while I love your little quirks, I don’t want you hiding behind the things you say to try and push people away.” I raised my eyes to his and quickly looked away.

“I know you embarrass yourself when you do it. I can see it; I’ve watched you long enough that I see the tiny cringe you make when you come out with some insane statement. So just stop.”

He was referring to my reactions to my own behavior, and he was right. But my methods had served me well and fulfilled their purpose. I was humiliated again, right now, knowing he’d watched my ridiculous self-protective posturing.

What surprised me the most was he hadn’t run away. I had to clear my throat before answering and I swallowed down the compulsion to run from the room. “Okay.”

“One more thing—don’t tell anyone I’m a crossbreed or half breed. In my current stations it’d be viewed as treason.” He glanced at me, an eyebrow raised, before continuing to move around the space.

Stefan walked over to a cabinet and retrieved a pair of handguns and checked them. Knowing nothing about guns, I assumed he was making sure they were loaded. “You think you’ll need those for the ball?” I asked.

He placed them next to a shoulder holster laying on a table. “I’d rather be prepared than not, and it is my duty. I’ll shoot anyone who messes with you or threatens you in any way.”

“Okay.” Picturing this man shooting people in the middle of a ball didn’t seem that farfetched. Honestly, it seemed likely. “What color dress am I wearing?”

Hopefully he’d say red.

Concern flickered in his eyes. “Is the blue one fine to wear again? I think you women like a new dress each time, right? I’m so sorry I was too busy to get you another.”

I lifted my hands and dropped them in my lap and said, “It's fine. I’ll have to get a new one next time though, I think blood will be pretty noticeable on a blue dress.”

He arched his brow and shrugged. It seemed his instantaneous dress-retrieval powers were gone or I’m sure I would’ve had a new one already and I knew he wanted to keep his men close by or he would’ve sent them shopping.

“ I’m going shopping next time,” I declared. If he expected me to stay, he’d have to expect me to go places.

Stefan turned his head slowly and crossed the room. “With Benjamin and Jack escorting you.”

Relief filled me at his compromise. Next thing I knew, he’d pushed me flat on the bed and snipped my lip. “You’re perfect,” he whispered in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. He bent down and lightly bit my nipple through my shirt before letting out a sigh. “So perfect. I love watching you bloom.”

If he wasn’t careful, my lips would be permanently scabbed. I couldn’t bring myself to object and I doubted he would listen even if I voiced a complaint. Not that I had any.

He pulled me back to a sitting position. “There’s not a lot of time but I need you to tell me about the voice.”

I nodded and began relaying my experiences including the man all in black I’d seen in the water’s reflection. “That was Josiah,” he said, pressing his fingers to his lips. “I have to bring you to him. I don’t want to, but I have to.”

His tone became stern. “These are things you cannot speak of. To anyone. I don’t care what they tell you or if they claim I told you to answer.” He repeated what he told me earlier about secrecy.

The intensity of his voice matched the glowing inferno whirling in his irises. “Only speak to me of these things. You will have to answer Josiah’s questions, that can’t be helped, but I am telling you to. Just be aware he does know the truth of my bloodline.”

I nodded and began picking at a thread along the edge of the comforter. After a moment, I asked, “But why do I have this? Why would anyone want it? Want me for it, I mean.”

“The only thing I can think of is you’re connected to Kiara in some way. She lost her parents when she was young, just as you likely did.”

I interrupted, “Colette said they did. Did they have magic? They must’ve.”

“We don’t know that. But Kiara also has abilities, like you. Hers are much, much stronger, but I suspect there’s a connection. I’ve quietly been doing some research, ever since Ilya told me he found her, and there’s something at play here.” He took a long look at me. “I think that wine bottle you guys found is involved.”

I sucked in a breath. “Does anyone else know about possible connections?”

Stefan stood up. “No. Well, maybe parts. This isn’t something I advertise.”

The weight of his confession sat on my chest. The fact that he’d trust me with such dangerous information told me how he felt about me. He truly valued me. Blinking away the water that annoyingly decided to gather in my eyes, my fingers tangled in the string I was playing with. I pulled it until it snapped. My chest felt hollow, and my blood ran cold.

“What’s wrong?” Stefan leaned over and lifted my chin. I refused to meet his gaze until he forced me to. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

I couldn’t shake my head or turn away, though I was desperate to. I settled on keeping my eyes lowered. “Nothing.”

“You’re lying,” he said. A sound between a whimper and a moan escaped me, and still, he didn’t let go.

“It's just....I know I’m weird. But I don’t mind it, I like myself.” I took a deep breath. “But no one else does.”

Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the confirmation of my parents’ death, the impossible situation with Kiara and my lack of ability to do anything about it, having gotten lost in the woods and screwed around with by a witch, having a magical voice in my head, and the depths of my feelings for the man who’d brought me here.

He looked dumbfounded. “What does that have to do with anything?”

I slapped his hand, startling him. Out of anything I could’ve done, I think he expected that the least. “You asked,” I bit out. This was why I didn’t make myself vulnerable.

Stefan’s hand fell to his side. “Look at me, Mabel,” he growled, his tone such that I didn’t dare do anything but what he said. “What are you thinking? Do you not want to know what’s going on around you? I know you like to stay on the fringes, but you need to know certain things if I’m going to help you. You can’t close me out, I won’t let you.”

He backed away and reached under a built-in cabinet and grabbed a bottle of water which he handed to me. “I know you’re not scared,” he smirked. “Not of the voice.”

“I am, but not what you’d think.”

Something in my tone must have affected him. He placed the bottle on the stand next to the bed and kneeled in front of me, holding my hands in his own and brushing his thumbs over my knuckles.

Slowly, I softened. My breathing calmed down and my shoulders stopped trying to reach my earlobes. Stefan moved a hand to the side of my neck and guided me forward, resting his forehead against mine. “Narrow is the way which leadeth until life, and few there be that find it.”

“Mm,” I murmured, unsure why he was quoting what sounded like a Bible verse or some sort of esoteric poetry.

“My narrow ways led me to you,” he said, surprising me. He stood up while I stared at him. “Your narrow ways led you to me,” he said, his voice barely audible. “I fell in love with you just as you are.”

He wasn’t wrong. It felt like everything had led up to this and aligned everything perfectly to bring me here, now. If I’d lived my life like a normal, healthy young woman, all of this would be completely unknown to me, including his dark, obsessive love.

“You understand we are staying here in the Fourth Realm, right?” He waited for me to acknowledge what he was saying and I gently nodded. “This clairaudience ability of yours is a bearer of secrets, secrets that some, I’m sure, would prefer stayed locked away. Others may try to force things out of you.”

Stefan waited while I let that absorb before he continued, “Another thing with this sort of gift is that the information may not always be reliable.”

“Why not?” I reached for the water bottle he’d placed beside the bed and took a sip.

“The spirits are tricky. They may purposely mislead for entertainment’s sake just as much as they may not see things the same way others do, so the meaning may get lost in translation.”

“That makes sense.” I took a deep breath, letting my worries fade away.

He waved a hand at me. “Sit back. I’m going to teach you how to guard yourself. This should be easy since you do yoga.”

I glanced at him quickly. “How do you know I did yoga? More like I try to do yoga. I’m not actually sure what I’m doing when I do it.” He looked very pleased with himself and didn’t answer.

We spent the next couple hours with Stefan alternating between showing me how to build a shield around my mind and my spirit, teaching me how to expand and contract it, along with some breathing exercises for calming.

Time seemed to pass quickly, and the day of the Celebration Ball for Kiara was finally here. I spent hours trying to figure out how to convince Stefan to let me talk to her, or at least pass her a note. Nothing I’d come up with worked. My whole rescue-my-friend plan was failing spectacularly.

“Seriously? Do you know what someone could do with your handwriting should a note fall in the wrong hands?” He’d practically snarled at me.

I didn’t know about handwriting being dangerous. I was still learning this stuff while also grappling with the idea that Big Foot is real....and he lives in these woods. Lots of Big Foots. He reassured me it wouldn’t be likely I’d run into one which helped me feel a bit better. Barely.

Instead of distracting myself with further thoughts of cryptids, I asked, “What could they do with a note?”

Stefan sat down in a leather armchair and pinched his nose before shaking his head. “I still have a lot to tell you. I’m sorry I’ve been so busy.”

Tension had been running high with so many unknowns looming between Kiara and Josiah and I knew he was on edge. One thing we had on our side was Julian’s inability to ever reach the Fourth Realm. I didn’t question it, not wanting to tempt fate. Not once had he ever set foot in the Realm, and he never would if things remained as they were.

I could tell he was beyond stressed, and there was also the matter of the High Court demanding I be delivered to them—an occasion we both dreaded.

I’d stayed busy, making good use of a servant’s kitchen, and had started making experimental cupcakes and cookies rather than just bread with kale, mushroom, green bean, and fruit mixtures which provided much entertainment for the castle’s cooks.

“It's okay,” I said softly.

He shook his head again. “It's not. If this is going to work between us, you need to be informed.”

Sitting up, I asked, “What do you mean ‘us’?”

Stefan let his arm fall to the side of the chair. “Us. Me and you.” He tilted his head at me and then glanced down before raising his eyes. “Did you think this was temporary?”

I spent more time during the day than I cared to admit daydreaming about being curled up by his side when we went to bed. It was my favorite thing to do, and I looked forward to it constantly. He’d hold me while whispering sweet things, ask me about my day, and I’d drift to sleep in his arms. It was the highlight of my evenings.

Frustratingly, he hadn’t gotten physical with me again, other than some intense make-out sessions. I’d honestly thought he’d changed his mind about me.

“You did, didn’t you?” Stefan got up and walked over to me. “There’s nothing temporary about you and me. I knew that the first time I saw you. I claimed you the first time I laid eyes on you, even as you know, I tried to fight it.”

He had just as much trouble expressing his feelings, or letting himself feel, as I did. The slight tremor in his voice showed me how difficult this was for him, to admit a vulnerability, a weakness. But we’d been doing better with it, both of us.

“Oh no you don’t,” he chuckled. “I may not be able to read you as well I’d like but I can see what you’re doing just by looking into your eyes.”

I’d quickly become quite proficient at using the psychic gifts he’d taught me, and he’d sensed me using my shield to hide.

“Tell me you feel the same.,” he insisted I nodded my answer, swallowing.

Satisfied with my gesture, he continued, “When you set pen to paper, you leave a bit of yourself in the ink, a piece of your spirit no matter how small. That tiny signature can open a door. Not many utilize that avenue, but the possibility remains.”

This was something I’d never thought of before, and never would’ve imagined as being a weapon. “How? Has this been done to you before?”

“You put energy into it and leave a piece of yourself.” Stefan returned to his seat. “It hasn’t been done to me, but it's happened in my family.”

He went on to tell me what had happened to his sister and how he felt he’d failed his family. My heart ached for the man I realized I was in love with.