Best Of Both Worlds (Colorado Black Diamonds #4)
Chapter 19
61%
Chapter Nineteen
NOAH
I t’s late in the afternoon when I wake up. With the season more than half over and a late game tonight, I needed the extra sleep. The clouds hang heavy outside my window.
Considering that I spend most of my time at the rink or in Graham’s room, the decorations in here are pretty pitiful. As in, I put nothing up.
Grabbing a T-shirt to throw on, I head out into the living room to find Graham, but it’s dark with no one in sight.
My phone sits on the charger in the kitchen. Walking over, I fire off a text.
Noah
Where are you?
Graham
At the store
Why?
Just woke up. Didn’t realize you left
And disrupt your pregame nap? I know better than that
A smile slides across my face at the words that pop up on my screen. It’s one of the many things that Graham and I have come to learn about each other over the last few months. Even through text, I can feel his playfulness. It’s something that’s been missing since that dickhead made those comments when we were in Boston last week.
I could see how much they affected him even when he tried to hide it. It’s something I’ve had years of practice to be able to brush off.
Noah
Maybe you can interrupt my post-game nap?
Graham
Is it a nap if you’re going to bed?
Hopefully going to bed with you…
Oh yeah?
Another text pops up on my phone, this one also making me smile because of who it’s from. But the name of the group has me snort laughing.
Black Diamonds Badasses
Nick
Think you guys can beat Detroit tonight?
Noah
Yes.
Who let Cash rename the chat?
Cash
It should have been renamed a long time ago
Troy
I said no
Cash
And I ignored you
Nick
And I didn’t get in the middle of it
I laugh, because this is exactly like them. It’s one of the things I missed most when I left Denver. These guys are my family. I didn’t want to trade them for anything. But before I knew it, I had my own family here in Nashville.
Noah
I’m surprised you haven’t kicked me out yet
Troy
Nah. Once a Black Diamond, always a Black Diamond
Even though I’m a Knight now?
Cash
I guess so
Fuck off
We’re going to kick your ass again in a few weeks
Cash
Pretty cocky there
Not if we can back it up
Troy
Keep up the trash talk. It’s going to make beating you even sweeter
Cash
Besides, would you really want to beat your best friends and hurt their feelings?
Graham interrupts my texts with the guys. The person that I want to be talking to. More than these guys.
Graham
What did you have in mind?
Nick
You wouldn’t want to do that
Cash
He loves us too much to hurt our feelings
Noah
First I’m going to get you in the shower and then get you in bed
Nick
Umm….
Troy
Have we entered an alternative world? What is going on?
Oh fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck.
Oh. Fuck.
I didn’t even realize how quickly that text popped up, and I tapped on it by accident.
Cash
Wait, are you seeing someone?
Noah
No
Troy
Then why do you want to get someone into bed?
Cash
Piper hasn’t told me anything
Because I haven’t told Piper
Cash
So you are seeing someone
Nick
I haven’t heard anything either
Troy
Me either. I thought we were friends, Noah.
It’s like he leaves the city and forgets all about us
Nick
Or forgets that he can, you know, text us
You guys are too busy
Nick
Never too busy for you
Cash
We always have time for you, Strawberry
Ugh. I was hoping to drop that nickname when I left
Troy
Never
Cash
You’re just making it worse for yourself by denying it
I’m hanging up now
Nick
You can’t actually hang up a text
You know what I mean
Cash
Such a baby
Gotta get my head right for the game
Graham
Where’d you go?
Did you check out on me?
Noah
Fuck off losers
Graham
Did I miss something?
Seriously. Fuck me. Can I not keep my texts straight? It’s not like it’s hard.
Noah
Sorry. That wasn’t meant for you
Nick
What wasn’t meant for us?
Okay. The equivalent of hanging up a call is what I’m doing to you fuckers.
Cash
Aww. He needs to go text his boyfriend
No I don’t
Troy
He totally is.
Cash
I can’t wait to tell Piper
Tell Piper and I’ll kill you
Cash
You’d never do it. You’d miss your future brother-in-law too much
No, I don’t think I will
I lock my phone screen to prevent any other misfired text messages. If it’s in my pocket, maybe I won’t accidentally make an idiot of myself. Or worse, out Graham.
Fuck. That’d be the worst thing in the world.
“Hey.” Graham is walking through the front door, grocery bag in hand, startling me.
“Hi.”
“You okay?” He eyes me as he sets the bag down on the counter.
“Sorry. I was texting with the guys and couldn’t seem to text the right person.”
“You didn’t?—”
“I didn’t send them anything I shouldn’t have. Might have hinted I’m seeing someone, but not much more than that.”
I don’t miss the relief that my words give him. I hate it. I hate that we’re not on the same page about what we’re doing here.
“I didn’t think you would. But good to check.”
“Right.”
Graham puts the groceries away before heading toward his room. I watch the tension in his shoulders release as he walks away from me.
Maybe this means time has run out on the two of us. That we should both move on. If we call it quits now, maybe it’ll be easier than if we keep it going.
As much as I want to continue being with him, I think it’s run its course. That conversation is something that I have time to figure out.
Because it’s not a right-now conversation.
That’s for later.
Right now, the only thing I need to be focusing on is Detroit. Getting the win for the Knights.
After?
After, I can figure out what this thing with Graham has become.
It’s no longer a friends-with-benefits situation. Or a roommates-with-benefits situation. I don’t know what it is to him, but it’s a hell of a lot more to me.
We can’t call it a relationship. Hell, would I even know what one looks like since I’ve never been in a serious one? What Graham and I have has been the most real thing in my life.
How can a few short texts put me so on edge? It tells me we are not anywhere close to being on the same page.
Fuck. I hate when feelings get involved.
Because now I have no idea what I’m going to do.