Between Then and Now

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Bonita

W e have dinner in a small restaurant in the inn tonight. Though calling it a restaurant is a bit generous–it’s more of a cafeteria with mismatched chairs and squeaky wooden tables, but I don’t mind. It’s places like these that feel welcoming and warm. The food is unpretentious but hearty, the kind that makes you feel cared for, not just fed. I can almost imagine an old grandma cooking behind the doors because that’s what this meal feels like.

Everyone is buzzing with energy, talking over each other about what happened that day. In the midst of the meal, John blurts out “Ryan danced today.”

The table falls silent, forks suspended mid-air, as everyone turns to look at Ryan, who is seated beside me, looking like the poster child for nonchalance.

His expression doesn’t change, and not even a flicker of emotion is there. “I didn’t dance,” Ryan says flatly, his tone deadpan as ever.

“You did.” Mia chimes in, a knowing smile playing on her lips as she exchanges a glance with Alexa, who chuckles beside her.

“That was the only time we’ve ever seen him dance. Or, you know, participate in any event that isn’t work-related.” Tom adds. “He’s usually the one waiting in the corner, calculating how soon he can leave without being rude.” He then recounts a story about one party where apparently Ryan did not move for the rest of the night except to go to the bathroom .

John turns to me, eyes twinkling with curiosity. “Bon, how on earth did you get him to dance? We’ve been trying to get this guy to lighten up for years.”

I lean back, pretending to ponder the question. I glance at Ryan and he’s still trying to look uninterested, but I can see his eyes glancing at me, waiting for my answer. “Oh, it’s a secret technique,” I say with mock seriousness. “Years of practice and carefully applied bribery. But mostly, I just annoyed him into giving in.”

Ryan finally cracks a small, fleeting smile. “The same tactic she used to get on this trip,” he adds, his tone still serious, but a hint of amusement is already there.

Everyone laughs, and I glance at Alexa to see her smiling as she looks at Ryan. And I can’t help but feel so excited for him because she looks like she actually finds him endearing.

After dinner, I return to the room to drop off my camera and take a moment to freshen up. I decide to take a walk and end up at the beachfront. The sky is a deep shade of indigo, with stars beginning to peek out one by one. The sound of the waves is soothing, a gentle reminder of the serenity of this place. I take off my shoes and let the cool sand sink between my toes. As I walk closer to the water, I feel a sense of calm wash over me.

I pull out my camera again, capturing the moonlight reflecting off the waves. The beauty of this place is breathtaking, and I want to document every moment. As I stand there, I can’t help but reflect on how fortunate I am to be here.

“Hey,” a voice calls out, pulling me from my thoughts. I turn to see Ryan walking towards me, his hands in his pockets.

“Hey,” I reply, smiling. “Couldn’t resist the beach either, huh?” I frown for a moment, then say “Wait, you hate the beach.” I remember because when we were kids, we’d go on beach trips, and he’d always stay far from the shore. I never bothered to ask him, though.

“I don’t hate the beach; I hate the ocean. There’s a difference,” he says as he steps back. “Which is why,” he puts both his hands on my shoulders and steers me away from the water, “we should probably go to that area over there.” He guides me until the water is a good twenty feet away.

I chuckle. “Fine, scaredy-cat,” I say as he glowers at me.

“Alexa smiled at me, did you see that?” he says, a boyish grin spreading across his face. I never noticed before, but Ryan has a dimple in his right cheek, making his grin look cute.

“Okay, what’s next? Trading secret notes in lockers?” I tease, raising an eyebrow.

Ryan chuckles, looking slightly embarrassed. “If that’s the next level, who am I to refuse?”

I laugh, shaking my head. “You’re hopeless, Miller. But for the record, I did see that. She genuinely looks like she likes having you around.”

“Exactly,” he says, a hint of determination in his voice. “So, I’m taking your advice to heart. Smiling is step one.” He flashes his teeth in the most awkward smile ever.

I look at him with a cringed expression. “You know that scene in Beauty and the Beast where the Beast smiles for the first time and he makes the others so uncomfortable?” He nods, then frowns and narrows his eyes at me. “Yeah, you look like that. Except the beast had dog-like features that made him cute… you just look like the guy from The Shining.”

“Ha-ha-ha,” he says. “So, I’m either a misunderstood monster or a serial killer?”

“Well, yeah, with you being a vampire and all,” I say and he shakes his head again .

As we walk, we come across a small, secluded garden behind the inn. It’s a serene spot with a wooden bench and a view of the ocean. I pull out my camera again and begin taking pictures, capturing the tranquil beauty of the place.

Suddenly, we hear rustling in the bushes. Ryan and I exchange curious glances and move cautiously toward the sound. I stay behind him, just in case it’s a dangerous animal or something. He extends his arm to shield me, and we walk even closer to the sound. To our surprise, we find a small, scruffy dog tangled in some underbrush. Its fur is a mix of brown and white, matted and dirty, with little twigs sticking out here and there. The puppy’s wide, pleading eyes, the color of dark chocolate, look up at us. I immediately swat Ryan’s protective arm away.

“Poor thing,” I say softly, kneeling down to free the dog. “It must be lost.”

Ryan helps me untangle the dog and it immediately wags its tail, grateful for the rescue. I pick it up and the puppy licks my cheek, leaving a trail of wet kisses. I laugh as I play with the little guy.

“Let’s take it back to the inn, maybe someone owns it? It’s so teeny tiny, I can’t leave him—” I lift the dog to confirm, “—yes, him, here.”

Ryan sighs. “Or maybe it’s a beach local and it prefers to be left alone,” he says, and I hold the dog to his face and make an exaggerated pout. Ryan scratches his head but says, “Alright, let’s take it back. Maybe someone at the inn knows who it belongs to.”

We walk back to the inn with the dog trotting happily beside us. When we get back, we ask around, but no one seems to know anything about it. Dr. Fernandez suggests we keep it for the night and ask around the village in the morning .

Back in our room, Ryan makes a makeshift bed for the dog with some old towels. He says he can’t be bothered but I see him refill the water bowl (really just the water dipper) every now and then. The puppy curls up contentedly and soon falls asleep. It isn’t long before Ryan and I are both snoring in our own beds, too.

The first day goes by in a blur. Ryan is stationed at the inn with Alexa, and I’m surprised that he seems completely confident around her. I don’t know what awkwardness he’s talking about. They are administering vaccinations and addressing the villagers’ concerns. I film everything I can, capturing the essence of the mission and the dedication of the team.

One particular instance stands out: a mother frantically brings her infant son to the station, panicking about his persistent fever and cough. The worry etched on her face is palpable, and it’s clear she has been carrying the weight of her fear for days. I approach her gently, asking if I can film her interaction. She graciously agrees, her eyes filled with both hope and desperation.

Ryan immediately takes charge, his demeanor calm and reassuring. He checks the baby's vitals with practiced efficiency, murmuring soothing words to the mother all the while. Alexa assists, her hands steady and her focus unwavering. After a thorough examination, Ryan confirms that while the baby’s condition is not serious, it does require immediate treatment.

“It’s a respiratory infection,” Ryan explains to the mother, his voice gentle but firm. “We’ll start him on antibiotics and monitor his progress closely. He’s going to be okay. ”

The relief that washes over the mother’s face is a powerful moment, one that I make sure to capture on camera. She thanks Ryan profusely, her gratitude overflowing as she holds her baby close. The scene is a poignant reminder of why we are here and the impact we are making, and I want to quietly sit in a corner and cry from all these beautiful interactions.

Watching Ryan in his element really inspires me to do better in mine. It is as if he is a different person. Even when he’s with Alexa, I see no sign of nervousness once he’s checking on the patients. His confidence and compassion shine through, and I can’t believe this is the same boy who was too shy to ask for Halloween candy all those years ago. His eyes scan around and catch mine. He offers a subtle smile, and I give him a thumbs-up as he returns to his tasks.

Once the day is over and we are back in our rooms, earlier than yesterday, I say, “You were great today, Miller.” When he smiles, I add, “And I don’t get what you’re talking about with Alexa; you seemed perfectly in control around her today.”

“Thanks,” he replies, a hint of self-deprecation in his tone. He settles on the edge of my bed, watching as I edit footage on my laptop. Puppy—the one we rescued last night and who is still unclaimed—jumps on my bed beside Ryan. He pats its head as he says, “But I tried, you know. I tried talking to her, and the weird thing is, when I talk to her about work, I’m fine. I’d ask her to hand me this or help me with that. And it always turns out okay, professional, even. But once I try to steer the conversation towards something personal, I stutter and just fall silent.”

I glance over at him, offering a sympathetic smile. “It’s nerves, probably. You just need to find a way to relax around her. ”

“Easier said than done,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair. “I told her to look at the horizon and how the sun is reflecting on the ocean. And then when she did, I just left. I left, Bon. Turned my back and walked away.” I can’t suppress my laugh. “It’s not funny. There’s no hope for me.”

I close my laptop and set it beside me. “Okay, how about we start our lessons? Come on,” I say as I stand in front of him and drag his wrists so he’s upright too.

“Lessons? I’m not a teenager,” he replies.

I can’t help but tease him a bit. “Then stop acting like one! Maybe you should try talking to her like you talk to me. You know, like a sarcastic sixteen-year-old.”

Ryan chuckles, giving me a mock stern look. “You’re not making this any easier, Bon.”

“So, let’s try again. Pretend I’m Alexa. Go ahead, show me what you’ve got.”

Ryan sighs dramatically, playing along. He looks at me. “Okay, uh… Hi, Alexa.”

“Hi, Ryan,” I reply in a bright, exaggerated tone. “Nice of you to finally say hello.”

He grins, catching on to the playful tone. “Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. So, how was your day?”

I exaggerate a contemplative expression. “Oh, you know, same old, same old. Saved a village, cured a rare disease. The usual.”

Ryan laughs, shaking his head. “I see you're keeping busy. What’s the highlight of your day then?”

I pretend to think for a moment. “Hmm, probably when I saw you stumble over your words earlier. It’s quite entertaining.”

“Hey, now,” Ryan protests. “I’m trying my best here. ”

I can’t hold back a grin. “You’re doing okay, I guess. Just relax, Ryan. You’re overthinking it. And don’t ask people what the highlight of their day is. This isn’t a school essay.”

He sighs dramatically. “It’s harder than it looks, you know.” He walks away from me, then stops midway, turns to face me again, and says, “If she were you, we’d be married by now,” he says and when he notices my eyes widen, he adds “Sorry, I meant that the issue is Alexa as a person and if she were any other girl, I’d–”

“Relax, I know what you mean. And please. If I were the girl you’re obsessed with, you’d have a harder time talking to me.” I fake-flip my hair and make my way back to my bed to continue editing footage.

“Wanna bet?” he says.

I think about it for a while, then say “You know what? I could use a good laugh tonight. So go ahead, Miller.” I walk back up beside him. I come up to his chin, and I have to look up to say, “Charm me.”

Puppy also gets out of the bed. We decide not to name him yet, in case he gets claimed and we get too attached. But he is so adorable I’m already attached the moment he looked at me through the vines he was stuck in last night. I take Puppy as he leaps into my arms.

As Ryan takes a moment to gather himself, I stand still, amused and a bit curious about what he’s thinking about. “Alright, Bon,” Ryan starts, his voice softer than usual, “imagine we’re in a more relaxed setting, just talking. You know, like we do, but maybe with a bit more... intention.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I say as Puppy leaps away from my embrace. I stand and cross my arms, staring at Ryan intently .

“This is gonna be easy because, with you, I’d just be honest, I guess,” Ryan says, scratching the back of his neck nervously. I raise my eyebrows in inquiry as he continues, “I’d start by telling you how you light up any room you enter, how your energy makes everything feel so alive. And how unbelievably contagious it is.” He pauses and angles his body so he’s facing me, meeting my gaze earnestly. “And I’d mention how I’ve always admired your optimism, Bon. Since we were kids, you’ve had this way of turning any situation into a positive one. You’re like... quite literally, sunshine on a cloudy day,” he says, pointing to my shirt, which prints those exact words. I subconsciously drop my arms to my sides and just look at him for a while.

A few silent moments linger, then Ryan clears his throat and says, “Yeah. I’d say something like that, I guess.” He turns and walks a few steps away from me, and I instinctively sit down to avoid looking at him.

Whoa. I feel a sudden jolt in my stomach, which I try to mask by clearing my own throat. “Well, obviously it’s easy for you because you don’t like me like that. So, no, this doesn’t count,” I say, trying to ignore the feeling in my chest which is annoyingly still there.

“How about you tell her something like that too? You know, honest observations.” I look up at him and smile my usual smile to remove any awkwardness that may have resulted from that interaction.

Ryan, thankfully, plays along, chuckling softly. We fall back into our usual selves, easing the tension. “But I don’t know much about her yet to form an opinion. I mean, all I know is she’s pretty,” Ryan continues, his tone thoughtful yet uncertain.

I nod, trying to rattle my brain for any logical suggestion. “How can you get to know her if you chicken out every time? ”

“Yeah,” Ryan agrees, his expression thoughtful. “That’s a question I should be asking you. What should I do?”

“Oh, right,” I say. “First off, just take it easy, Ryan. You’ve got time. So, step one: smile. Step two: ask personal but not too intrusive questions. I’m thinking maybe ask her while you’re doing some work, if the work isn’t too serious. Because I saw your confidence when you’re talking about medical mumbo jumbo.” I make air quotations.

“Just casually slip personal questions into medical situations? How exactly?” he asks as he makes his way again to the edge of my bed and sits there.

I sit cross-legged on the other side and say, “I don’t know, something like ‘Hey Alexa, what’s your favorite brand of scalpel?’ or ‘Are you a paracetamol or a painkiller kind of girl?’”

Ryan chuckles, but there’s a hint of a smile on his face.

“Yeah, because nothing says more about a person than their surgical tool preferences,” he replies, sarcasm lacing his voice.

“You’d be surprised, Miller. I, for one, prefer the forceps.”

“And forceps are…?” he prompts, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re the doctor.” I say, rolling my eyes.

Ryan chuckles and taps my bare knee, and it makes me shiver. Only because his hands are cold. “Thanks, Bon. I appreciate the advice.”

“No problem,” I reply with a grin. “Consider it part of my duty as your unofficial coach in matters of the heart.”

Ryan chuckles and goes to the bathroom.

I notice Puppy licking his dog bowl so I head out to the front desk to ask for more dog food. Since the owners have dogs lurking around here, the staff are kind enough to give us some extra dog food until we find Puppy’s owner .

As I walk, I start to contemplate. What happened earlier was weird. Ryan didn’t say anything romantic, but the way he talked and looked at me made my stomach turn. I was caught off guard.

I don’t know what to do with that, but I certainly don’t want to feel it again. I’m here to document something worthwhile and help my friend Ryan get the girl he likes. Maybe I can snag a date or two with another doctor, but I am definitely not going to cross some invisible line with Ryan.