Big Daddy

Chapter 26

chapter twenty-six

winnie

Last night was one of the first nights I didn’t have to pretend to be busy or asleep when Quincey came home. I actually was asleep. Holding this secret for Brielle has been like trying to hang onto a knife on fire. I want to let it go, I want to be free of it, but I want to prove to her that I’m still and always going to be her best friend. Her safe space.

But I didn’t think it through. Not fully.

Because being her safe space means corrupting and colluding my own safe space, to the detriment of what is now my most important relationship.

I fucked up, but Brielle has lunch planned tomorrow, and at that meal she, Aug and Lance are going to announce their news to us. After that, this horrible week can be behind us. And I learned a very important lesson. One that Brielle tried to tell me months ago. We can never have the same relationship, but we can have something better.

Maybe me hearing the pregnancy news along with Quincey was the better option. No, not maybe. It was the better option, but I don’t fault her for being starved for a scrap of our former relationship. Secret swapping was what we did. We both just got caught up in the moment, clinging to some fuzzy warmth of familiarity amidst all the change.

I blame myself for not having the confidence in myself as a friend and woman to say no.

After lunch tomorrow, things will be back to absolute perfection. At least that’s what I’m telling myself as I turn off the lamp and close my eyes, not able to wait up for him even if things weren’t awkward. This week of stress has taken it out of me. I am exhausted.

Tomorrow things will go back to normal.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you, but it ends today,” Big Daddy says, yanking the covers off my body as he sets a mug of steaming coffee down next to me . Little does he know . He crouches next to the side of the bed as I sit up and face him. He cups my cheek. “Whatever this is, I will get us through it. Because I love you.” He puts the mug between my hands, and disappears into the master closet, shoving hangers around. A moment later he comes back with an outfit—not bad, actually, and a pair of pumps. “Now get dressed. We’re going into the office together.”

I sip the coffee and blink up at him, my mind a mess. Brielle is announcing her pregnancy today, and today is the last day of this awkward shittiness that I myself am responsible for wedging between us. Until then, though, I’m keeping the promise. This week can’t be in vain.

“I don’t work for you anymore. What business do I have down at Parker my thighs tremble and my hips start to rock. His head pops up as my hands spread out across my brand-new desk. I swallow, finding my mouth dry and pulse in my ears. I have to keep my will power up or I will 100% get intimate and spill the beans.

He munches on me, making my toes curl, ignoring the raging erection in his own slacks. I peer at our reflection in the window, so glad that the blinds are closed. His cock is heavy, stretching the front of his dress pants as he leans into me, feasting. God, he eats so well, and his cock is so perfect and thick.

He comes up for air. “Fuck what I said before. When I’m done with you, a new rule. No panties.”

I cock a brow. “Why?”

He sucks my clit into his mouth and releases it as soon as my back arches, that asshole. “Because…” he deadpans, “I’m still hungry. I want access to my favorite meal whenever I fucking want.”

He doesn’t wait for me to reply as he wraps my ankles around his neck, my ass pressed into my new desk, and pulls me into him. The week of silence has been eating at both of us… no pun intended.

He tears my panties off my body and balls them up, in one swift motion that both electrifies and terrifies me. Shoving them in my mouth, Big Daddy eats me out and keeps me quiet, and I’m so fucking glad he shoved my panties in my mouth. I couldn’t keep quiet otherwise, and I don’t know why he’s granting me the grace, but I’m grateful.

He suckles at my clit as he works three fingers inside me, slow at first but then deep and quick, the same way I love his cock. “You bratty little slut,” he groans into me, his hands keeping my thighs open and apart. “You need your slut pussy licked to feel good, don’t you?”

My entire body shakes. I’ve been horny for him for days. This moment is not going to last.

Quickly, he drops a hand from my thigh and reaches between his legs, I hear his belt, and I feel him curse against my cunt, too. A moment later he’s groaning, and I tip my head to the side to catch the reflection of him, coming thick, long ropes all over the floor beneath my desk. He’s coming from going down on me, from us being apart for so many days. God that’s so fucking hot. My toes curl, my body tightens, and my pussy screams.

“I’m coming, holy shit, I’m coming,” I moan softly, but everything is muffled from the sweet flood of my own pussy, melting onto my tongue off of my panties. I love that he can’t hear me, only feel me clench and writhe.

I keep my eyes on his cock, twitching in his hand, strands of cum still spurting out, less frequent but still. He strokes himself again and again, getting out more and more as my orgasm tears through me, leaving me a hot, molten mess.

When I’m too sensitive, I push him away, and he begins cleaning my floor with a towel he pulled from my desk drawer. I’m glad he had the foresight to make a sex drawer. It makes sense for a couple with our high drives.

“We have to go,” I breathe, wanting to acknowledge how insanely hot it was to watch him come, but scared to go too far. We weren’t supposed to fool around. The way he makes me come gives me loose lips. And I know he’ll be ecstatic to learn his first grandchild is on the way. I can’t wait to see his face light up.

But his daughter has to tell him.

Fixing my hair and adjusting my clothes, Big Daddy stops me with a singular question. “Are we okay?”

I pick lint from my dress as I reply, “You just ate me out. Would I let you do that if we weren’t?”

He storms toward me, pants still undone, hair still a mess. “And yet you’ve ignored me all week.”

I get my things and head to the door, only opening it when I sense him behind me. “I love the space. I appreciate it so much. Thank you,” I breathe, peering up at him over my shoulder. His eyes smolder with anger and desire.

“You’re welcome.”

I thank God that people are in the elevator, and we don’t ride down in awkward silence. And that same crowd of people drift around the parking garage, allowing me to get into my car easily, simply waving goodbye to Big Daddy through the window. He glares at me, and my pussy screams. I love his nasty glare. I love his filthy mouth. I love him so much, period.

I call Brielle as I pull out of the parking garage. “B, I cannot wait for this lunch because keeping this secret has been awful.”

She laughs but her laughter trails off. “Shit, I... I didn’t think of that.”

We sit in silence, both of us likely thinking about Quincey and how he’ll react to the news. The light in front of me turns red, and I come to a stop behind another black sedan.

“You don’t think he’ll be mad I told you first, do you?” Brielle asks, the sound of Aug and Lance heavy in the background. “Oh,” she says, replying to them. “We’re at the restaurant, Win. See you soon.” She hangs up and at that precise moment, my phone rings.

“Hello?” The number isn’t programmed into my phone.

“Who were you speaking to on the phone?” Big Daddy asks, and I twist my gaze to my side and rear-view mirrors, finding his town car behind me.

“Whose phone are you calling from?” I ask, annoyed at how much of a stalker he is. Except, I bite the inside of my cheek to stop my smirk. I may not be as annoyed as I’m acting. I may actually like the way he keeps track of me. Especially knowing he does it even after the shitty week I’ve put us through.

“Answer my question first,” he says.

“Brielle.” I chew my lip as the light turns green, and the car in front of me surges ahead. I follow, eager, my foot extra leaden today as I signal into another lane.

“Slow down.”

“Answer my question,” I bait, knowing it’s got to be the driver’s phone. No one else is in that town car with him.

“The driver’s,” he says, confirming. “Slow the fuck down.”

I don’t listen though because the entire reason for wanting to go fast and get there more quickly is so that I can end this secret tension.

“See you there.” I almost end the call but not telling him that I love him sours me, so before I hang up I quickly add, “I love you.”

Luck is on my side when I find a parking spot on the street and sneak into the restaurant just a minute before Big Daddy.

The restaurant is dark, despite it being lunch time, and when he saunters in through the double doors wearing his pressed gray suit and his silk black tie, I stare daggers into the side of Brielle’s head, I swear.

Lance rests his hand on my forearm. “You okay?”

I glance over at him. “Fine. Just… ready to get lunch going.”

He looks me up and down. “Are you…?” He trails off before shaking his head and I don’t ask him what he was going to say because my focus is on the calm way Big Daddy is talking to Augustus across the small lobby from us. Brielle nods along with whatever they’re saying, and thank God, our table is called.

Big Daddy pulls my chair out, and rests his hand on my inner thigh beneath the cover of the table as soon as we sit. Familiarity and warmth surge through my legs, and goosebumps break out along my back and neck. My chest tightens and my eyes grow fuzzy.

Had I not made a stupid promise to keep an incredible secret, this moment would be one for the books. My best friend, her partners and her father and, coincidentally, the love of my life, too. All of us sharing a meal amicably (thanks, Dr. Wilder) with good news and happiness on the horizon for all.

Soon. As soon as Brielle spills the fucking beans, I can breathe and explain everything.

“How are things going? What are you guys currently working on?” Big Daddy asks Brielle, Lance and Augustus as the waiter comes over to fill our glasses with water.

Brielle sighs and smiles. “I can’t believe we’re at a place where you’re asking that,” she admits, her cheeks flushing. Big Daddy clears his throat, uncomfortable with his progress being pointed out, I’m sure. “But we’re working on a mini-series right now.” She turns, the delicate chignon at the base of her neck shiny beneath the intimate glow of the table. Lance and Aug give her a nod and she beams back at us. “It’s my first full solo production.”

Big Daddy shakes his head. “That’s wonderful. I’m proud of you.”

“Oh Brielle,” I squeal, “that’s amazing. I’m so happy for you.” My heart cheers for the way Quincey tells his daughter that he’s proud.

She splits a loving glance between us, and I know she isn’t used to me being with her dad yet and the look is more about her career but still, it fills me with a hit of warm and fuzzy that I need.

“That’s part of my good news,” she says, smiling, her eyes veering off to her guys. Augustus clears his throat while Lance adjusts his cloth napkin resting on his stack of plates.

“What else?” Big Daddy asks, his fingers slowly sweeping along my inner thigh, my core incinerating with each stroke.

Bless her, she doesn’t fuck around with preamble, but I choke on my water when she blurts out, “I’m pregnant.”

I stare at Big Daddy, but he doesn’t look away from his daughter, and my heart swells at his wet eyes. “You’re going to be a mother?” he asks.

Brielle nods, her eyes growing fuzzy, too. Her gaze slides to me, and a large smile sweeps her lips. “Thank you so much for keeping my secret, Win.”

Big Daddy’s eyes snap to mine, pinched, every line etching anger into his expression. “You knew?” He faces Brielle again. “You asked her to keep a secret from me?”

Suddenly, faces fall and silence consumes the table.

Brielle opens her mouth but struggles to speak, looking between me and her father. After a minute, I look up at him, too.

“She’s my best friend and I was just trying to show her that I still think of her that way, you know, because it’s huge news. And I wanted to tell you myself,” Brielle says, her eyes wide and unblinking as she waits for him to respond.

He places his napkin on the stacked plates in front of him, and when he takes his hand off my thigh, my stomach tightens anxiously.

I hadn’t considered Big Daddy’s reaction. No, that’s not true. I had. But not really because simply assuming he’d be happy then forgive a week of silence? The irony is that I was the one telling him what relationships require and yet here I am, the cause of all of this.

“You shouldn’t have put her in that position. And you shouldn’t have done it,” he says, his focus sliding from Brielle to me.

“That's why I was quiet all week. I was terrified of slipping up and I didn’t want to disappoint Brielle, and I wanted to show you that things were okay with me and her, that all of us would be okay.” I wring my hands nervously beneath the table, blinking up at his stoic face.

“You give me this whole valiant speech about Corinne, and how important openness and honesty is.” He twists to face Brielle, and his frustration morphs into sadness and hurt, and I think this is officially now the worst I’ve ever felt. “Were you testing her? Why? Was that necessary? You and I,” he says, motioning that perfectly strong hand between them, the cuff of his dress shirt pulling back enough to expose the gold watch on his wrist. “We have been making so much progress but this, this is a regression.”

A tear rolls down Brielle’s cheek as she looks between us, regret lining her eyes in heavy, dark crescents. “It—I didn’t know what I was doing. I mean, I asked her to keep the secret and I guess, I don’t know,” she says, sifting her hand over her neat hair the same way her father fishes his hand over his when he’s contemplative or frustrated. “I guess I just wanted a sliver of the old us. And… I don’t know, holding a secret felt special. Something between the two of us, like old times.” She swipes a hand over her cheek, ignoring the tears as if they aren’t falling faster now. Brielle hiccups. “I didn’t even think of the two of you, and how it would hurt you guys.” She faces me now, blue eyes red rimmed and wide. “I’m so sorry. I swear this wasn’t some passive aggressive revenge or anything like that. It was just, I was excited, and I wanted you to know, to feel like old times, but… I also had this vision of the guys and I telling Dad all together and...” she shrugs, her breath lifting a strand of blonde hair from her face. “I fucked up. This is my fault. And I’m sorry.”

My eyes veer from my best friend to my lover. His remarkably strong profile, complete with his tight set jaw and perfectly combed hair, sends a shock to my core. He’s so handsome. And loving. And he’s an asshole still, sure, but he’s my asshole. My guard dog. My king.

He looks at me, and his eyes haven’t changed. They’re still brimming with sadness. “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I shouldn’t have—” I let the sentence hang, because I don’t know what else can be said. “I shouldn’t have,” I say again, deciding to leave it there. Because I shouldn’t have allowed Brielle to come between us. I shouldn’t have agreed to a secret. We both fucked up, but it’s on me now. “I just… I wanted so badly to feel like I didn’t ruin things with Brielle. And… she was so excited, I just wanted to be in that space with her, you know?” I twist a curl around my finger nervously, but his eyes stay tamped on mine. He loves my curls. The fact that he doesn’t even glance at them now has my stomach in knots. Turbulent, large, twisted, disastrous knots.

“I heard you when you said we share things. We share emotions, thoughts, secrets, feelings. I hadn’t shared those with anyone in years. I got used to keeping them bottled up. It was even a challenge for me to unlearn those behaviors, Winnie, but I did. I did it for us. Because I’m serious about us.” He licks his lips and my lower half quivers painfully. I wish I had a huge clock I could rewind. I don’t want to have hurt him this way. “But you held a secret from me, and instead of telling me any inkling of what was going on in your brain, you shut me out. You shut me out even after I repeatedly asked to be let in.” He smooths a hand over his face, his jaw clamping shut as he drops his eyes to the floor for the world’s longest moment. “The car will take you back to the house tonight,” he says, finally meeting my eyes. “I’ll drive your car back. Later.”

Panic scorches up my throat, acid stinging the back of my tongue as my eyes fill with tears of hurt. “What? We’re not going home together?”

“I’m not going home.” He turns to the other side of the table, offering a congratulations and handshake to both Lance and Augustus. “Gentlemen,” he says as he moves around the table to give them each a hug. “Congratulations again. I am thrilled. Thank you for sharing.”

Big Daddy is hugging Lance and Aug. That means he can’t be that mad, right?

No . It means he loves his daughter and her partners and his first grandchild is on the way.

I stumble to my feet, knocking over my glass of water but ignoring it. “Please don’t go.”

He kisses Brielle on the cheek, ignoring me. I want to scream at him to look at me but then again, I’ve ignored him in his home all week. I deserve this. I deserve this and more, really. Because he’s right.

I made a big stink about real relationships, then I fucked up.

He’s not going home.

He didn’t say where he’s going or what he’s doing and it doesn’t take Sherlock to assume he’s hurt and angry.

I face my best friend.

“I’m so sorry,” she says, tears coating her cheeks.

I shake my head. “It’s my fault. I should have trusted that our relationship would make it. I should have been strong enough to say that I can’t keep anything from him.”

“I should not have put you in that position, I just wasn’t thinking,” Brielle says, reaching for my hand. “Want me to ride home with you? The driver can take me back.”

I shake my head, looking tearfully across the table at Lance and Aug as a waiter wipes up my mess. Someone else is always cleaning up my messes, and I fucking hate it.

I also hate that I may have just lost the best thing that ever happened to me.

“No,” I tell them, wiping my eyes. “I’d like to be alone.”

Brielle squeezes my hand. “Are you sure? This is my fault and?—”

“No, it’s not. It’s my fault. I pressed your father to take us seriously and he did. I should have, too.”

“You do, though,” Brielle says softly. “You wouldn’t be this upset if you didn’t.”

I nod. “Nothing changes the fact that I fucked up.” I look at his daughter, my best friend, one of the most important people in my life. I swallow hard, gathering courage to ask what I need to ask. “Do you think he’ll forgive me?”

I don’t miss the way her eyes fall to her lap first before they come back to mine. “I really don’t know. Trust is a big thing for my father but… I can talk to him.”

I shake my head. “It’s okay. You don’t need to do that.” I look over at my friend’s two partners and smile with as much gusto as I can muster. “Thank you for dinner and I’m sorry that we ruined your announcement. I’m so happy for all of you, truly.”

Augustus smiles. “We know you are.”

Lance smiles, too, except his is more rigid than Aug’s. “It takes time to work out the kinks. This is just… a kink. You two will work it out.”

I blink at Lance, wise and thoughtful, yet I’ve never heard him speak more than a few words at once. “I hope so,” I tell him before giving my final goodbyes and leaving the restaurant.

Outside, I find the town car on the curb and climb in. With the partition still down, I tell the driver to take me home, then I slowly and carefully raise it before sobbing madly into my hands.

I cry until I’m home, and once inside, I cry there, too. I cry in bed with my knees to my chest, sucking up all his scents from his pillow, wondering how I could be so foolish, how I could think a man like Big Daddy would ever stand for hypocrisy and the silent treatment.

I hate feeling small, but tonight, in my California King, with my knees to my chest and my nose a running mess, I’ve never felt tinier.