Big Nick Energy (Bringing Home Trouble)

3. Nick

3

Nick

Three months later

The temperature had dropped, summer was long gone, and we were in the thick of fall. Thanksgiving had been okay. At my place. My kid had gone with some friends to ski in Colorado. My best friend and business partner had come over and was still here even though everyone else had left.

Christmas would be around the corner, and before I would know it, I’d be ringing in the new year. Alone. Again.

It wasn’t lost on me that once again, I had spent the holiday when you’re supposed to feel nothing but a full heart filled with gratitude feeling nothing but emptiness. It didn’t matter how much money I had in my bank account or how bountiful the square footage my main home was or how many properties I’d invested in.

I wasn’t happy.

Not really.

Not in the way that mattered.

I hadn’t been happy since that day in the mall a year and a half ago. And it was a damn shame because I had a lot to be grateful for. My one and only child was doing better. Noah seemed to finally be growing and maturing. Long gone was the little asshole douche player he had tried to be in high school. He was away at school, and from what I could tell with the grades he was making, he wasn’t doing too badly. My parents were happy and retired in Florida. My business partner, who was also my best friend, was seeing someone. I had never seen him as happy as he was with her, even if she hadn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner tonight, in a long time. I had my health, and even though I knew that was important as hell, it was my damn heart that had a problem.

“You look like the world is on your shoulders.” My best friend and business partner, Winston Nash, noted. I turned to see him standing at the doorway and rolled my eyes.

“Win,” I warned, but he shrugged. I watched as he strode in and sat down in the chair in front of my desk.

“Is it finally time?” he asked, and my brows bunched. My gaze bounced to the big wooden wall clock behind him then back at my friend.

“Time for what?” I asked, trying to remember if we had something on the books, but I couldn’t think. I couldn’t focus. It was impossible when all I could think about was my sweet little forbidden princess.

“To talk about what you’ve been avoiding.” I frowned. “Or are we still acting like you’re not in love?” he laid out calmly, almost like he was talking about the color of the sky. A muscle under my eye ticked.

“I’m not—" I started to say, but Winston’s gaze locked with mine. Challenging me, daring me to lie straight out not only to him but myself. I swallowed hard. My Adam’s apple bobbed heavily before I ran my fingers through my hair. “What makes you think I’m in love?” I asked, and the asshole he was, Winston laughed.

“Really? That’s what we’re going with?” His laughter rang through the room, and I sighed.

“Win, I’m tried,” I said instead of incriminating myself.

“Yeah, I bet. But imagine how I must feel?” he said, and I scowled.

“What do you mean?”

“See, my best friend, one of the best guys I know, hmm-ing and ha-ing for what has it been? A year? Almost two?”

“Win—“

“Tell me I’m imagining shit. That I’m way off base here, and I’ll drop it. This conversation never happened, and I will apologize for sticking my nose in your business.” I opened my mouth then shut it just as quickly.

I couldn’t lie to him.

“What gave me away?” I asked. There was no denying or fighting the way I felt about Blanca. I’d tried that the first couple of months after seeing her at the mall. I’d tried everything I could to convince myself what I felt, what I ‘d seen in her gaze, hadn’t been real.

“Well, first off, you forget that I was there when you first met her.”

“Who?” I dared, and his lips twitched.

“Noah’s ex.” I winced.

“Fuck,” I cursed under my breath. I dropped my head against the back of the leather desk chair’s headrest and pressed the palms of my hands against my eyes. “I forgot you were there,” I mumbled and heard him chuckle softly. I could still remember that day clearly. What she wore, how she looked at me. How I felt.

“I saw how you looked at her. Then I thought maybe I was wrong. Maybe she was just someone you thought was attractive. She was a cute girl. I wouldn’t have blamed you.” My hands dropped as I watched my best friend. “Then you told me how they broke up in front of you and didn’t say anything else. Not until later last summer. Then suddenly, you kept going to the movies.”

“So?”

“So?” He chuckled and shook his head, a knowing look in his eyes. “Man, I know you. You hate going to the movies. That’s why you set up a theatre room here.”

“Maybe—"

“Maybe she works there?” My silence probably confirmed his suspicion. “I’ve been with you to the movies, Nick. I’ve seen how you look around trying to be subtle while you watch out for her when you think I’m not paying attention. Not to mention the fact you had us change gyms.”

“I told you it’s closer—“ I stopped mid-sentence and stared at the guy in front of me.

Winston and I had known one another for years. Decades. He knew me better than probably anyone in the world. Because of that, I couldn’t keep lying. “She goes there,” I admitted, and he chuckled.

“I know that, too.” His lips twitched.

“I know, but I didn’t know you––“

“Noticed her? Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have. I mean, it was suspicious you would rather go to that run-down place than the state-of-the-art gym we went to before, but I did notice the way you almost dropped a free weight last month when you saw some trainer talking to her.”

“He was too fucking close,” I growled. Every damn day that slipped by was one more chance for some asshole to slip in and take what was mine. I wasn’t stupid. I knew how idiotic I was for jeopardizing my future with her. But I was older, a lot older than her. Jesus, I was old enough to be her dad, not to mention my son had dated her. After that day in the mall, I had talked myself into waiting. Giving her time to grow and do things on her own. Because I knew if I stepped in, I wouldn’t let her go. Ever.

“So, why don’t you talk to her? Ask her out?” I blinked, quickly realizing he had definitely been watching me a lot closer than I could have ever realized.

“She’s young,” I reminded him. But by the look he gave me, it didn’t seem to matter to him.

“And?” he challenged like I knew he would. Winston was the kind of man who went after what he wanted. Always. No matter what. It’s how he was seeing Allie. Or I thought they were seeing each other. Though, now that I thought about it, for how close they had been the last six months, it surprised me she hadn’t shown up to Thanksgiving. I studied him more closely and noticed the dark circles under his eyes. “And?” he repeated, and I shook my head and sighed.

“Win, she dated Noah.” The argument was flimsy at best. They had only dated for a couple of months at the end of their senior year. Noah had had his share of girlfriends since.

“I don’t know, man.” He shook his head, and that was when I spotted it. A sadness in his gaze. “I mean, look, I get it. I get the situation isn’t the best but…” His voice drifted to nothing. His eyes dropped to the top of my desk, and I felt my brows bunch together while I watched my best friend. He was definitely going through something. And I was a shit friend for not having noticed.

He almost seemed torn. Troubled.

“What?”

“Life’s too short, Nick. Especially when it comes to your happiness. I was there when you and Noah’s mom found out you guys were expecting. I was by your side when you two tried to make something of it even though it wasn’t working, and I was there when you walked away. I know you.” He did.

“And?”

“I hate seeing you unhappy.”

“I’m not unhap?—"

“You are,” he cut me off. “We’re forty. How long do you think we got? Twenty, thirty years if we’re lucky? I know you. I know that this last year and a half, with the way you’ve been working, putting in crazy hours, you’ve been doing it to stay away from her. I wasn’t sure at first, but I am now. But the thing is, what’s the point if you’re going to work yourself into an early grave?”

“Win—"

“You won’t be doing anyone any favors doing that shit,” Win muttered. “You remember me asking you about fatherhood a couple weeks ago?”

“About being ready?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “What did you tell me?”

“No matter what, you won’t ever be ready.” The words tumbled out easily, and I believed them. I was young when we had Noah. And even looking back and where I was now, if I wanted to have a kid now, I would still be as unprepared as when I’d been twenty. Even with a fatter wallet. “It’s just one of those things that either happen or you jump in to try and make happen and then roll with the punches having a family tosses at you.”

“Now look, I know I don’t have kids, but I have let myself fall in love a couple of times, so I can tell you there is never a right or wrong time. You just make do with your situation and hold on until you can’t.”

“Yeah, and that’s worked out fucking fantastic for you, hasn’t it?” I knew I sounded like an asshole. Win and Allie seemed happy, but I couldn’t deny there was something holding him back from fully claiming his girl.

“You’re right.” A guarded look fell over his face, and he sighed. “I should get going. Dinner was good.” He patted his flat stomach, but his heart wasn’t in it. I’d done or said the wrong thing, and it hadn’t been appreciated. “Allie and I broke up, by the way,” he shared, almost like he knew I was about to ask why she hadn’t come to Thanksgiving dinner. Before I could say a word, he quickly put a hand up and kept talking. “Sometimes, doing what we think is the right thing fucking sucks. I just wanted you to know that. And honestly…” He looked away.

To anyone else, it would have seemed like he was staring daggers at the wall, but I knew he was deep in thought. In that moment, he wasn’t simply a few feet but a world away in his head.

“Honestly, you and I? We’re idiots,” he muttered before his dark gaze met my blue one. “Don’t be a dumbass like me. Talk to her. Try and make something work, or else it’s going to be you and me when we’re old, and that’s fucking sad.” Without giving me a chance to ask what the hell had happened between him and his woman, he left. I sighed and slouched further into my chair.

“He’s right,” I muttered to myself.

My empty home office seemed to mock me, agreeing completely in its echoing silence. I needed to make a move. When it came to business, I never hesitated. When I’d played football in college, I’d learned overthinking made a world of difference and most of the time gave you a world of hurt.

Yet when it came to matters of the heart, maybe because I was such a damn novice at it, that was exactly what I’d done. Over a year of waiting. But I wasn’t going to keep my distance. That was done and over with. Not even if she had a man now would I be able to keep my hands to myself.

Blanca Dominguez had no idea what was coming. My mind ran a million miles an hour with ideas and plans. If it was up to me, by Christmas, if not by the new year, she would have my ring on her finger.

It was an insane thought.

Not only was our age difference wild, but we also hadn’t even been on a date. We hadn’t talked to one another in a year and a half. I would be rectifying that soon. Thinking about rings and forevers with her could get me committed. I’d been borderline stalking her, learning her schedule through the months and going to her work and joining the same gym she went to. All for just the chance to see her. To be around where she might possibly be and keep an eye on her to make sure she was safe. Even if it meant being far away from her.

It still didn’t help my situation, yet there was nothing that could convince me that this between Blanca and me wouldn’t head in the happily-ever-after direction.

Come tomorrow, everything would change. Fuck, why wait till tomorrow? a voice in my head perked up. Winston wasn’t wrong. Life was too short to sit and wait around.

When you knew what you wanted for the rest of your life, you didn’t just sit around and hope and pray shit fell into place. Life wasn’t like building a fucking puzzle. You had to make it happen. I knew that more than anyone. I was a force to be reckoned with at work and in my industry. Why was this any different?

With that thought, I picked up my phone and typed out a text.

Me: You were right. Life is too short. Hope you know that, too. Whatever happened with Allie, fix it.

I pressed Send, then stuffed my cell in my pocket and hurried out, knowing exactly where I was going.