Chapter 3
Chelsea
I step into my apartment, tossing my purse onto the counter without a second thought, and head straight for the freezer. The stress of another painfully long day at the recruiting agency makes me crave comfort food. I open the freezer and grab a frozen pretzel, shoving it into the microwave. The work at the agency is mind-numbing, and although everyone is nice enough, the monotony drains me. Bobby never supported my dream of owning a Pilates studio, which is what I’m really passionate about, and why I work casually as a Pilates instructor too. He used to beg me to resign but, for some reason, I couldn’t. When he’d ask me how the talk with Colette?my boss?went, I lied and said, “She wasn’t in today, or she begged me to help out a little longer.” But he kept pushing because being a Pilates instructor isn’t the right job for a woman in a relationship. It’s just a silly “hobby” to him. He never viewed it as a real job. If I had my way, I would work in my own studio full-time. I’ve often wondered if I could manage without this second job, but the risk feels too big. If Nova was still our roommate, I might have considered it, but with her moving into her fiancé Jeremy’s place, Summer and I have to split the bills now, so it doesn’t seem wise.
As I wait for the pretzel to heat up, my phone rings. I rummage through my bag and notice a stack of letters. On top is a note from Summer, saying Nova is coming over and we’re having Chinese for dinner. The girls have been checking in on me daily, worried I might go back to Bobby. I keep assuring them that’s not happening.
The phone rings again, and I see a missed call and a text from Bobby. I ignore it, grabbing my food, letters, and phone before settling on the sofa. There’s no way I’m answering Bobby. He hasn’t given up since I ended things, calling and texting constantly, thinking we can fix our relationship. But how can we fix something broken by his cheating? Even Summer overheard it. All those late nights at work now seem like lies, and I can’t get past that. He never made me feel like a priority. Now he can sweat over what to do without me, because there’s no way I’m letting him back into my life.
I take a bite of the pretzel and glance at the letters. The first is a bill, but the second is a birthday card, and I open it. I gasp at the sight of a large check sitting inside of it. What’s this for? Grabbing my phone, I immediately call my mom.
“Hello?” my younger sister Anna answers. She lives with our parents in Connecticut while she’s in college studying psychology.
“Hey, Anna. It’s me.”
She laughs. “I know your voice, Chelse.”
I lean back, sinking into the sofa. “Yeah, habit, I guess. How's college?”
“Six more months, but who's counting?”
Her cheery voice lifts my spirits despite the heaviness of the day.
“It will be worth it.” I sigh. She will get the job of her dreams while I come home every day miserable. It reminds me why I left Connecticut. I knew a Pilates studio would thrive in New York, so I headed off two years ago and never looked back. My parents gave me a loan to purchase my own studio, but after only a month in New York, I met Bobby. I haven’t used the money yet. And now, they’ve given me more?
I didn’t open the studio because Bobby didn’t see it as a viable career for his future wife. I held out hope he’d understand how happy being an instructor makes me. But now, what was all that for? My stomach knots thinking about it, and I put the pretzel down, no longer hungry.
“Are you okay?” Anna asks. She’s always had reservations about Bobby, psychoanalyzing him through her career lens.
I sigh heavily. “As much as I can be.”
“This is a good thing, you’ll see.” Her optimism is refreshing. I hope time will help me feel the same.
“Is Mom there?” I ask.
“Yeah, she’s just coming in from helping Dad in the garden. Hang on, I’ll get her.” She puts the phone down, and I hear her yell, “Mom, Chelsea is on the phone for you.”
I smile for the first time today, ignoring the sharp twinge in my chest, imagining her calling out to Mom from the porch, making me miss home even more. Nothing compares to the peace I feel there. But Connecticut isn’t my forever place. The last time I went home, I was six months into dating Bobby. Alone, as usual. There were so many red flags in our relationship, yet I ignored them, blinded by the idea of love.
“Hi, darling,” Mom says, slightly out of breath as she answers the phone.
“Hey, Mom.”
“I was going to call you soon.” She’s been calling every night to see how I’m doing, offering to fly out, but I insisted she didn’t since I’d be working every day.
“I beat you to it.”
“And how are you doing today?” she asks, her tone laced with concern.
“Well, alright,” I say, not wanting to waste energy on Bobby. “I called to thank you for the birthday card, but you put a check in by mistake.”
Her hearty laugh bubbles down the line. “It wasn’t a mistake, darling. It’s to encourage you to open the studio.”
I touch the check, still in disbelief. “This is a lot of money.”
I stare at the one hundred thousand dollars as if I am seeing an extra zero, but every time I glance down, it’s there.
“It’s from your grandparents. They wanted us to look out for you.”
Clutching the phone, I swallow past the pain in the back of my throat. “You and Dad should enjoy it.”
They could go on more holidays together, buy a different house, anything but give this to me.
“We do, but we don’t need that much to be happy.”
I pull the elastic from my ponytail, my hand raking through my hair as I try to ease the tension that has shifted from my throat to my head. “I don’t know about a studio.”
“It might be a good distraction. And darling, you hate the assistant job.”
The sound of wind through the phone has me picturing her now sitting on the porch, in one of the chairs, looking out into their picturesque garden. It’s my dad’s pride and joy.
“I do hate it.” Bobby found it and begged I apply, saying “his wife needed a stable job.” He knew my weakness for marriage, and he fucking played on it. Whenever I considered leaving him, he’d make comments about how he’d looked at rings or how he’d dreamt of a rooftop wedding, all to keep me from walking away. He manipulated my desires and fears, using them to control and keep me in the relationship.
“Only you can turn your life around,” she says softly.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and say, “It’s just a big risk.”
“Do you need more money to survive until it’s up and running? I’ll send you more.”
Tears prick at the back of my eyes, but I hold them back. “No, you’ve given me more than enough.”
“Then what is it?”
It’s funny how much my mother knows I’m holding back, even from miles away.
I sigh a heavy breath and reopen my eyes. “I’m scared to fail. I don’t have a clue about how to run a business.”
“You won’t know if you don’t try,” she says.
I hold the check, staring at it again.
“This will give you a new focus,” she adds, sensing I need more encouragement.
“And you think I can do it?” I whisper.
“Yes!” she shrieks. “You are a Macfarlane. It’s in your blood.”
“What if I can’t get clients?”
“You will, but you can always sell it and come back home and figure out your next move.”
I sit up straight, feeling my pulse rise with possibilities. “I have no idea where to start.”
“First, quit that miserable job. Then, go look at some spaces.”
I wish I could match her enthusiasm. “I don’t know…”
“Do you want me to come out and look at a few places with you?”
“No, I need to do this on my own. But I’ll definitely have you out here for the grand opening.”
“We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
And I know she means my dad and Anna too.
I bite the inside of my cheek. “Do you really think I can be a good boss?”
“Yes. And stop overthinking. This is your time to follow what you went to New York for.”
“I think you’re right.” New determination fills me; it feels like a rush of adrenaline. I’m finally ready to fulfill my dream, only two years late.
“I know I’m right. I’m so excited for you. Send me lots of photos.”
“Don’t forget to organize Anna’s surprise graduation dinner.”
“Yes, I’m planning it this week. You’ll be able to make it, right?”
“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
At least now I don’t have to dread arguing with Bobby about him coming. We had yet to meet each other's families. It wasn’t through lack of trying on my end.
Mom and I chat about our ideas for Anna’s dinner, and when I get off the phone, I pick up my food and eat it cold. Then I start searching for potential studio places, excitement bubbling within me as I wait for Summer and Nova to get here to celebrate.