Bitter Brambles (The Ivy Institute #2)

Chapter 9

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I t’s hours before the entire group of us is released for the day. There was no lunch break, and from what I gleaned from other conversations, the nest isn’t expected at the tavern for a few hours. Not surprisingly, the elite get to eat breakfast last and dinner first. I’m under the impression anyone can risk going at any time, but these routines are established to the point of tradition.

I’m just happy to get the hell away from everyone. Even if I were hungry, which strangely enough, I haven’t been since the whole consuming magic thing earlier, I still wouldn’t be pressed to eat now. I need to be alone for a little while and get lost in this frigid place so I don’t feel all the eyes on my back.

While everyone is lumbering toward the stairwell, I hang back a little, trying to get lost in the crowd. The only reason it works in my favor is because no one is willing to be too close to me. Thoughts of Kage and how he must have felt brush against my mind, but I shove them away and focus on finding some place to hide for a few hours.

When the last murmurs from the stairwell die down as everyone disappears, I pass the opening they all left through and venture into uncharted territory. I want to be gone before the tutors come out and find me. All I need is for Mick or any of the others who were watching over the group to find me snooping around. I probably should head straight for the nest like all the others, since he warned me that they would be watching me, but I can’t force myself to spend more time confined with them right now.

The building is run-down and a little dingy, like no one has bothered to clean the floor in a few decades. It’s probably too damn cold to mop here. The water would freeze, and the place would turn into an ice rink. I can just imagine everyone slipping down the halls. A smile cracks my lips at the thought, and I almost feel bad for imagining Mick flat on his back after losing his footing.

I pass several doors, but they are all closed, and I’m not dumb or desperate enough to peek inside. After the fourth or fifth turn, I’m as good as lost for the time being. I let out a long sigh and slide down a stone wall until my ass is on the cold hard floor. I stayed on this level on purpose. I figured even I would be able to find my way back to the field and eventually the nest when need be.

One thing I will say about this place and the cold is that it’s quiet. The frigid air seems to mute sounds, yet it’s not the intrusive quiet that makes it feel like your ears are going to pop. The way it eats into your bones is hard to take though. I was hoping I could trade information to Mick for a cloak, but I don’t know if today set that endeavor back or not. Maybe I should have told him Syrinx had me questioned by a truth detector because she didn’t trust me either. I could have given him something other than Syrinx didn’t like me again.

“Ugh,” I groan, pulling my knees up and folding my arms over the top to rest my head on them. Sleep would be nice—the deep kind of sleep I would get when curled up next to Ziv. Hell, I’d even take the semi-restless nights I would get when I was sharing the floor with Connor and a few of my other brothers. It wasn’t great, but it was what I knew. A sliver of regret worms its way into my dark soul when I think about Ziv. I would have been better off if I’d never met him, because then I wouldn’t have thoughts of him and Kage constantly in my head, and I wouldn’t know what it felt like to be safe, even if that feeling was only an illusion.

I lift my head, letting it bang against the wall behind me, and my chest tightens. The same feeling of familiarity I had earlier comes back. I don’t want to open my eyes and find the hall empty, but I can’t force them to stay shut either. Stupid hope.

My gasp of surprise is only slightly faster than the curse that flees my lips. There’s a massive gray wolf less than twenty feet from me. His lips are curled up in a snarl, showing a row of glistening white teeth that almost put Ziv’s to shame. It could be my imagination, but I swear I see a drop of saliva fall from a vicious point.

Its head lowers an inch, and he takes one slow step forward. I’m frozen. I’m used to wild animals. We lived on the edge of town, and I’ve come across my fair share of wolves and cougars. Hell, there was even a knot of indus worms that surfaced pretty close to the house, but there is something more about this animal.

Staying on the ground and letting it maul me isn’t the best idea, but I can’t seem to make myself get up, even when it takes another slow step forward. Proving something inside me is fundamentally broken, I can’t even muster up the proper amount of fear I should be experiencing. Do I really care so little anymore?

“Come to rip out my throat?” My voice is far too casual for the topic, but it isn’t like I’m expecting it to answer. “I doubt I’ll even taste very good. I’m too scrawny.”

The wolf lets out a low growl, causing the hair on my arms to stand on end. It takes another step closer, and a tingle of awareness tickles my senses. “You’re the reason I keep thinking they are around,” I accuse rather sullenly. Something about the wolf triggers the feeling of familiarity within me.

The beast tilts its head, its amber eyes sharp as if it understands every word I’m saying, or maybe I’m just desperate enough to hope it does. “I have a favor to ask. I know it’s crazy to think you would even entertain it, but… if you’re going to kill me, will you do it quickly? I hate pain, and I feel like it isn’t that much to ask considering. You know?”

The wolf’s head inches back as it—or rather he sits on his haunches. Is it weird I noticed it’s a male? Yeah. I’m definitely losing it.

“So you’re not going to snap my neck right now?” I scan his gray fur, feeling slightly jealous. I bet he’s warm. The wolf growls again, but it doesn’t feel threatening, more like he’s communicating with me. “Will you warn me before you do? On second thought, don’t. I might do something stupid like try to save myself.”

The wolf drops his head an inch or two and makes a noise that is more of a whine than a growl. I think he feels bad for me, which is nearly tragic if you think about it, but I’m willing to use it to my advantage, especially since I’m stubborn enough not to die easily. My luck, he would only maim me, and I’d lose an arm or something, making me even more pathetic.

“Hey.” I lick my lips, preparing to sound crazy. “If you aren’t sold on the idea of eating me—” He sneezes or snorts, some combination of the two, interrupting me. “We could be friends,” I offer. I’m actually already thinking about how nice it would be to curl up next to him and sleep. I doubt people would want to challenge me if I had a wolf at my beck and call, or at least as my companion. “I can get you food. I mean, it isn’t great food, but it’s food.” I don’t want to upsell the cooks here too much. Everything I’ve eaten has either tasted the same or had no flavor at all.

“I don’t know how the others in the nest would feel about an animal bunking with me, but I don’t really care either.”

The wolf stretches out his front legs, coming very close to touching me, then he sinks his head low to lie down. His eyes, though, never leave my face. A strange feeling tightens my stomach. I know predators don’t lower themselves for prey, yet this beautiful creature has done just that for me.

The instinct to reach out and wind my fingers into his fur is so strong, I have to curl my hands in to keep myself from touching him. I don’t want to push him when things seem to be going well.

“My name is Briar,” I whisper because I don’t want to disrupt what feels like such a pivotal moment. “I wish you could tell me your name.”

The wolf blinks slowly, concealing his too knowing amber eyes for a moment. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t divulge his name, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to come up with one. An idea springs into my mind, and I know without a doubt it’s the perfect fit. “I’m going to call you Sunny.”

He picks his head up from his paws and eyes me.

“You are the first glimpse of warmth I’ve found in this icy hell, and your eyes… I mean, it’s perfect,” I defend.

After a moment, he lowers his head again and does something that would knock me off my feet if I were standing—he crawls forward. The heat rolling off his body reminds me of what it feels like to stand next to a fire. I could cry. When he deliberately places his head on my leg in a show of trust, I almost do tear up.

Without a word, I tip my head back and shut my eyes. If my next move gets me killed, so be it. I don’t mean to hold my breath when I lift my hand and sink my fingers into the fur behind his ear, but I must. It’s only when my heart starts hammering against my chest that I actually remember to exhale.

“I’m going to keep you,” I mutter, feeling at peace for the first time in weeks.

MOROS

Word reaches me that Frostburn has a new arrival only hours after Taggert goes missing. I’m not dumb enough to think the two incidents aren’t connected, but no one is saying it. I could go straight to Foley to find out exactly what’s going on, but then the headmaster would think I owed him for the information. I’d rather figure out what the fuck is going on by myself.

As the days begin to pass without new details emerging, I start to consider the report may have been incorrect, but Starla has never fed me bullshit before. I doubt she would knowingly do it now, which would mean that someone would have had to relay the information to her with the understanding she would bring it to me. That’s just too much fucking work, plus Starla is completely overlooked by the tutors and other trainees, which is why she is so useful. She hears things no one else does and sees things no one else is allowed. The fact that she can suck dick like a vampire jonesing for blood is only a bonus.

I haven’t seen the female in a few days, but that isn’t unusual after I’ve used her. She has a bit of a masochist streak that I’m happy to indulge. However, the fact that she isn’t permitted or chooses not to see the healers is an inconvenience now when I want to know if she’s heard or seen anything else. I may even have to resort to searching her out.

“Moros,” Jeh calls as if it isn’t the first time he’s spoken to me.

“What?” I don’t bother looking in his direction. He probably just wants me to see him doing something stupid or to say something he thinks is funny.

“What’s up? You’re zoned out.”

“Just thinking.” I get up from the shitty beds they force us to sleep on here and stretch. I feel Jeh’s eyes on me, and I let him look. My beast is vain and craves the attention. Thankfully, it’s more discriminate about whom we fuck. I think if I ever even looked at the other shifter in the same way he looks at me, he wouldn’t give up until I agreed to take him into my pack, preferably into my bed. He’s already hinted at the idea, but he doesn’t know my pack back home would eat him alive—literally. The Ashcroft Pack doesn’t accept outsiders easily.

“Where are you going?”

“To take a shit. You want to watch?” I hate the fact that I have to share a room and that Jeh is always so fucking eager, like a lovesick pup. It grates on my nerves. Thankfully, he doesn’t answer before I shove out the door, because that could have backfired on me if he had time to answer. If I was really heading to the bathroom and that fucker came looking for me, I would likely kill him, then I would have to deal with the hassle of getting a new bunkmate—not to mention it would royally piss off Foley.

Frostburn is nothing like my home, though they could rival each other in size. This place is utilitarian at best, while Ashcroft Manor would be described as opulent in every way. I suppose that comes from being one of the wealthiest packs in the realm. I shouldn’t admit it, but I miss the comforts of home, my bed especially, and the lush green grounds. Here, I’m forced to spend most of my time indoors, even shifted. We can take the low temperatures, but the terrain of the mountain is nearly impassable, even to my beast. The icy bluffs and cliffs would be more suitable to a thunderbird or bear, though I’m not sure either exist anymore.

Thoughts that I’ve dismissed countless other times niggle my brain, reminding me that I shouldn’t even be here. I should be at the Ivy, where all the best trainees go, but my father, the current alpha, struck a deal to save my pussy brother. He knew Eris would never survive Frostburn, so I was sent in his stead while he went to the Ivy. His lack of skills will be ignored because of his last name, and he’s sure to survive by relying on the stronger trainees around him.

My father says I should be pleased with the appointment. As the future alpha of the pack, I should want to prove myself and be able to handle anything. I think he’s just hoping I die in the Undertaking, surrounded by weak allies, so he can keep his position.

I’m already fired up when I step foot into the small gym. My skin feels too tight. I know I will need to shift soon or risk losing control at the wrong moment.

There are two other elites in the facility. We don’t even acknowledge each other, and they give me a wide berth. I’ve been here for nearly a year, so I know their names and abilities, but not much else, and I plan to keep it that way until I know for certain that they are useful.

I use the time in the gym to push myself and my beast into appeasement. There are few things other than fighting that make him happy. Physical exhaustion will have to do since fucking is off the table for the time being. It would be too dangerous for whoever was dumb enough to let me take them while I’m in this state.

My mind wanders as I torture my muscles until my legs shake in an effort to keep me standing, but at least I come up with a plan to figure out if there is indeed a reason behind Taggert’s disappearance.

After eating half my weight in shitty food that does nothing but fill the emptiness of my gut, I finally feel confident enough to shift without killing anyone unfortunate enough to happen upon me.

The moment I open myself up to my beast and shift, I realize something is different. Our entire body is quivering with anticipation. I start to wonder if I really have power over my animal like I always thought. It’s what proved I am an alpha, but I certainly don’t feel in control now.

I take a back seat to my beast as it tears through the halls as if he’s on a mission. Our communication is far from perfect. That is something that develops over time, but I know he is ruled by his baser instincts, so there are only a few things that could have him on the hunt—food, fighting, or fucking. I thought I sated two of those needs, but maybe not. Someone could wind up dead if I don’t rein him in, but I find I don’t have the will or desire to make an effort to leash him.

In fact, I’m still feeling the itch under my skin that drove me to shift in the first place, proving he’s not the only one affected. Hours pass with us stalking through the halls to look for the invisible threat to no avail. The first time we came across another trainee, I was certain my beast was going to rip them to shreds, but he just ignored them, and the same thing happened over and over until I felt like we’d explored three quarters of the institute and not gotten to the bottom of whatever was driving the compulsion.

Eventually, we crash, finding a corner on the level below the dregs where there aren’t any other tutors or trainees to disturb us. My muscles twitch roughly each time I’m on the verge of falling asleep, making rest elusive. I think about returning to my room, but something stops me—the same something that has been tugging on my senses all evening and driving me nearly insane with inaction. My lids lower with exhaustion, and darkness is closing in on me with welcome quickness, but just as my muscles relax, I’m jolted awake again as if I’m falling off a cliff, and that’s exactly how I feel—completely out of control.