Bitter Brambles (The Ivy Institute #2)

Chapter 12

brIAR

S unny kicks the door closed, shutting out all the prying eyes. I take a second to look around the space. There are two beds placed on opposite sides of the room, but they are still only separated by a few feet and a small, uncovered window. There’s ice on the outside pane, but the room is warmer than the hall by several degrees, proving my theory about body heat and a small space.

Sunny’s scent is strong in here—not nearly as powerful as it was just outside, but I know he spends a great deal of time in this space. Our hands are still joined, and I don’t try to change that, not even when he sweeps his free arm out. “Welcome, princess. It’s no Ashcroft Manor, but I hope it’s satisfactory for now.”

“I wouldn’t even know how to pretend to be a princess, and this… this is more than I could have hoped for. They didn’t have separate rooms in the dregs or the nest, just bunks spaced out in a big room.”

“You never belonged in either of those places. I doubt very much you belong here.”

A ping of worthlessness causes my breath to catch, but I can’t really argue either. “I guess even the weak can be fodder for the gods.”

“Weak?” He pulls his head back. “You are far from weak, but that’s not what I meant. You shouldn’t have to prove yourself here or anywhere else,” he explains, and I soften even more toward him.

It’s a nice sentiment, but not one based in reality. “I don’t know about you, but I grew up in Rale, not in a fairy tale.”

“Isn’t Rale on the border of Osier?” He takes my other hand, and it’s like he just connected a circuit. His touch vibrates through my bones, sinking into my very soul. It’s easier to understand now that I know what’s happening, but it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.

My stomach twists, and I can’t tell why. Is it nerves, guilt, fear, excitement, or all of the above? “You know it? It feels like we’re on the other side of the world now.”

“We pretty much are. Frostburn borders the opposite side of the realm.”

I don’t know if it’s better or worse to know how far from home I actually am. The moment the thought forms, I realize I never really had a home to begin with—only way stations, stops along my journey in pursuit of a home. Maybe I will never find it.

I grip Sunny’s hands harder, feeling completely adrift. “We won’t be here forever,” he promises softly, as if he knows how strange it is to be so far from everything he’s ever known. Maybe he’s homesick too.

“Where are you from? I probably won’t know it. Before my father dropped me off at the Ivy Institute, I’d never been out of Rale, but is it far from here?”

He wiggles his fingers, and I release the death grip I have on him, feeling embarrassed. He slides his hands up my arms and cups my shoulders. It takes the sting out of the rejection. “My territory encompasses the Sine Forest. It’s about a three-day ride from Rale. It’s nothing like this place. You’ll love it, and if you don’t, we’ll settle somewhere else. Tell me how you ended up here. Tell me everything.”

“That would bore you to death and take a really long time.”

“If it means I get to listen to you” —his eyes lower to my mouth— “be with you, then yes.” He nods as if that’s exactly what he wants. His words should come as a comfort, but they frighten me instead. He’s going to make me fall for him and crave him just like I do the others, and then he’ll disappear too.

His grip on my shoulders softens, and he lets his fingers travel a little higher until he’s encircling my neck with his warm hands. It isn’t a place where I would usually let a stranger touch me, but he’s not really a stranger, not when my soul knows his. I also want him to touch me, even when I know it could be stupid to let my guard down, since he could kill me as easily as breathing, especially with his fingers around my throat.

It’s so destructive to admit, but I’d probably let him do it, even if I thought I could stop him. At least that would be quick. I don’t understand how I can struggle to survive so hard yet want to die at the same time.

“Briar,” he says softly, a hint of suspicion coloring his tone as if he knows how dark my thoughts have gotten.

“I don’t really have an ability,” I blurt, trying to distract him.

“What?” His face scrunches up in confusion. “I saw you today, on the practice field.”

“The only thing you saw was their magic not working on me, nothing else.” I’ve already convinced myself what happened with David was a fluke. There is no way I could have siphoned his powers. I was just angry, filled with too much emotion, and I felt something that wasn’t there.

His fingers tighten, and Sunny runs his thumbs up the column of my throat. It makes me want to swallow, but I resist the urge. “I’m not a truth detector, princess, but I know when my mate is lying.” His face is closer to mine.

I tip my head back to breathe him in a little more. Gods, he smells good. I can’t put my thoughts into words or describe his scent—it’s more about the feelings it evokes in me. It’s like walking into a ray of sunshine after being alone in the darkness for too long, feeling the heat slide over your skin and warm you from the outside in.

“Maybe I’m not what you think then, because I’m not lying.”

He leans in closer, causing his nose to brush against mine in a show of tender affection then accuses, “Lie.” His low voice is filled with indignation, which is so at odds with his touch.

My heart bangs against my chest like a captured bird trying to escape its cage, but it isn’t fear rattling me. I lick my lips, preparing to speak, but the action causes Sunny to inhale sharply. With our gazes still locked, I glimpse the moment his beast peeks out at me through his citrine eyes. The change is subtle, but the wildness in him is unmistakable.

“Syrinx called me a void,” I confess. If he knows what that means, it doesn’t register on his face at all, so I continue. “Magic doesn’t affect me.”

“I wouldn’t say that’s true. You certainly respond to me and my wolf.”

I flush instantly from the innuendo in his tone. “That isn’t magic,” I retort, causing him to grin right before I get hit with a blast of heat that has me reaching for his forearm to steady myself. His eyelids close, and he lets out a hum as he inhales. His scent is even stronger, making me want to rip his clothes off so I can feel him skin to skin.

When his eyes finally open again, they are darker and more intense. I couldn’t look away from him if I wanted to. “If you try to tell me your body would respond to someone else the way it does to mine, then I think you’ll hurt my feelings, princess, even when we both know it isn’t true.” His words are whispered against my skin, leaving an indelible mark on my soul.

“It doesn’t… I don’t…” I stammer, not finding the right words to say. “That’s not the kind of magic I mean.” I have to shake my head to form a clear thought. The entire room smells like hot sweaty sex, and I’m having a very hard time concentrating. “Can you…” I let the question hang, because I don’t know how to ask him to turn down his appeal or if it’s even fair to. Instead, I squeeze my thighs together to ease the ache between my legs to no avail.

He drops his forehead to my cheek, cutting off my view of him and allowing me to close my eyes. It does nothing to ease the tension in the room. The press of his lips against the corner of my mouth is the last thing I feel before he releases my neck and takes two very large steps away from me. The urge to go to him, to close the distance he put between us, has me sliding my boot across the stone floor. He lifts a hand and shakes his head to ward me off. “Sorry, I wasn’t really thinking that through.”

“It’s okay,” I murmur, pretending I wasn’t just prepared to jump him. To fill the awkward silence, I try to get back on track. “Magical abilities don’t really affect me. What you saw in the arena today was their magic bouncing off me. I can’t control it or direct it. It’s like I have a shield around me most of the time.”

His eyes squint, as if he’s thinking back and evaluating what he saw with the added perspective. “Why call you a void then and not a shield?”

His question catches me off guard. I wasn’t planning on leading with that crazy banshee’s theory, but I can’t lie to him. “Because that is what Syrinx wanted me to be. A real void has more than the ability to block magic, she can also take it. The headmistress probably sent me here when she realized I wasn’t ever going to live up to her expectations.”

He’s quiet for too long, giving me too much time to think and go over the words I used. Should I explain myself better? Can I?

“Take magic?” he questions, and I realize that’s what he’s been dwelling on this entire time. I’m not surprised, I wouldn’t want to be powerless either if I had a choice. Learning someone could steal part of you, especially the part of you that makes it easier for you to survive, is frightening.

“I’m not going to snatch your wolf, Sunny—I wouldn’t even if I could—but just so we’re clear, I can’t,” I reiterate, hoping I haven’t alienated him.

“She thought you could?”

“She wanted me to be able to,” I amend. “Not every person who has mental magic does it the same. Just because magic is useless against me like it was Elora, that doesn’t mean I can suck someone dry by stealing their magic and using it myself.”

“That’s what she could do? Suck them dry?” At least I know now I’m not the only one who had no idea something like that was possible.

“I guess. That’s how they found the body.”

“What body?”

“The person she accused me of killing.” I toss my arms in the air, feeling frustrated. It’s clear he doesn’t believe me, even though he says he would know if I was lying. “I thought she brought me to the school to be a test dummy for the other novices’ powers, like my father did my whole life, until she accused me of murder and I overheard her talking about Elora to—” I snap my mouth closed. I can’t say his name out loud. I don’t even want to think it.

“To?” he prompts while his eyes narrow into slits. I just made him suspicious.

I try to deflect. “His name isn’t important.”

“It is to me.” He drops his chin, sharpening the planes of his face.

“One of them,” I whisper. It’s the best I can do. My throat feels tight even thinking about him.

Sunny’s face softens. “One of your mates,” he assumes correctly, and I nod. With a heavy sigh, he scrubs his hands over his face, muttering a curse. I instantly feel guilty, and I can’t pinpoint if it’s because I’m not being loyal to the male in front of me or the ones who never bothered to find me after I was taken.

MOROS

My brain is fried. I can’t think straight, and it’s my own fucking fault. The minute I allowed my instincts to take over and flood the room with pheromones, I knew I fucked up. Her desire blossomed, mixing with mine until the only thing I wanted to do was be inside her and show her we are magic together.

“Can you…” The plea in her voice allows my thoughts to snap back into focus long enough for me to drop my gaze from her flushed cheeks and parted lips. It takes me another second to gather the strength to take my hands off her and back away.

When she makes the smallest move, like she might inch closer, I have to stop her. She’s too raw, and I’m consumed with my need to touch her. I’m being selfish.

She tries explaining what she meant about magic not affecting her, but I must only be picking up bits and pieces, because none of it makes sense to me. “Why call you a void then and not a shield?”

Briar loops her arms together, covering her abdomen. “Because that is what Syrinx wanted me to be. A real void has more than the ability to block magic, she can also take it. The headmistress probably sent me here when she realized I wasn’t ever going to live up to her expectations.”

I’m still slow to process her words, but something she says grabs my focus. All too clearly, I see her on the field with icy air escaping her mouth when she spoke after being attacked with cold magic, and things fall into place. “Take magic?”

Her lips thin, curling down in the corners. I can’t tell if she’s pissed or disappointed at my question. “I’m not going to snatch your wolf, Sunny—I wouldn’t even if I could—but just so we’re clear, I can’t.”

“She thought you could?” It sure seems like it to me too, now that I know what was going on earlier on the field. That’s why the water at her feet started to refreeze and why it felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room.

“She wanted me to be able to. Not every person who has mental magic does it the same way. Just because magic is useless against me like it was Elora, that doesn’t mean I can suck someone dry by stealing their magic and using it myself.”

Holy shit. If Briar is capable of such a thing, she would be the most powerful trainee here. No one could touch her. “That’s what she could do? Suck them dry?”

“I guess. That’s how they found the body.” She shrugs.

“What body?” I need to get my head screwed on right. Why the hell am I having such a hard time following along?

“The person she accused me of killing,” she snaps then drops a bomb about her father using her. I make a mental note to find out more about him and her past, but she stops short, not finishing her sentence, and the abrupt way she freezes makes me question who she overheard Syrinx speaking with.

“To?” I prompt.

“His name isn’t important.”

“It is to me.” I need to know who hurt her. I can sense her pain across the room.

“One of them,” she confesses, and I realize it isn’t just pain making her voice small, but sorrow.

“One of your mates.” I scrub my hand over my face, feeling like shit for pushing her again. “Sorry I’m so thick, princess. Being this close to you is doing a number on my… everything.” I wouldn’t usually admit such a weakness, but I don’t have anything to hide from her.

“It’s okay. I don’t blame you.” Her gaze goes to the floor before she casts a critical eye around the room. A twinge of embarrassment flushes through me as I kick a heap of fabric under my bed. This room is nothing like my real home, but it’s the best Frostburn has to offer trainees. I’ve seen the nest, so I know this is a step up from that, but that’s of little comfort.

“Gods, it’s so much warmer in here. I’d only need like five blankets to be able to feel my toes again. I might have taken out an elite already if I knew I would get a door.” Briar chuckles softly, making her comment seem lighthearted. I try to focus on that and not on all the ways I could keep her warm much better than ten blankets. To distract myself, I snap the heavy fur off my bed and approach her slowly with it held between my hands.

“I don’t have five, but I’ll get them.”

She flushes before spinning around and allowing me to drape the pelt over her back and shoulders. Instantly, she hunches her shoulders and chin into the folds after wrapping herself inside. I don’t miss the way she inhales deeply before her eyes seek mine.

“Thank you.” Her voice is muffled but still easy to hear. I look over at Jeh’s bed. His blanket isn’t nearly as nice, but it will do in a pinch. I shift to the side to reach for it, but before I can wrap it over her, she steps away.

“I don’t really need five. This one is perfect.” Her face is still partially tucked into the fur as she looks up at me with doe eyes. The image of her lips wrapped around my cock with her looking up at me like that floods my brain. I turn to the side with the excuse of tossing the blanket back on the bed, but really, I need a moment to catch my breath and rearrange my dick.

“Let me know if you change your mind.” My voice is low and thick. I have no doubt she knows exactly why.

“That one doesn’t smell like you,” she admits softly, and I tilt my head back to look at the ceiling. Gods, maybe she was sent here to give me a lesson in patience. I’m not sure I’m going to survive it.

“Aren’t you cold?”

Absolutely fucking not . I feel like I’m burning up from the inside out. “That depends, princess.”

“Depends on what?”

“On whether or not you’re willing to share the blanket if I say I am.”

“Oh.” Her guileless eyes are wide as she nibbles her lip. My heart skips too many beats to be considered healthy in the time it takes her to respond by opening her arms and inviting me closer. I start to worry I might actually need to see a healer, because my heart has never pumped this fast when standing still. “Are you sure you don’t want it all?” she asks, referring to the blanket, but that’s not what I want all of.

I move slowly, because I’m afraid to spook her if I snatch her against me the way I want. When my hands slide under the blanket around her back, I admit, “I have zero interest in taking this pelt from you, princess.”

“Why do you call me that?” she asks, nuzzling her cheek against my chest. Her arms are too short to wrap all the way around my back, but she feels amazing pressed up against me. To my own shock, I don’t feel the compulsion to peel her clothes off and sink myself inside her—not that I don’t want that, but the contented feeling warming my chest and her scent mingling with mine is more than enough for the time being.

I only remember she asked me a question when she tips her head back and looks up at me. “Huh?”

“Why do you call me princess?”

“Why do you call me Sunny?”

She flushes a pretty color, making her freckles stand out even more, then tips her chin down so I can’t see her face and mutters a soft, “Okay.”

I laugh softly and tighten my grip. “We like that you thought we were your first glimpse of warmth,” I murmur, letting her know I’m aware of what she said even when I was in my other form.

“If you knew, then why did you ask?”

“For starters, I like to listen to you speak. Your voice… We like it.” I don’t intend for the last part to come out growly, but it does. After I clear my throat, I add, “It was also my way of saying it makes sense to me. I’ve never really cared for ‘luna,’ because too many wolves use that, and ‘my moon’ seems too long. Princess is just what came out. If it bothers you, I won’t use it.”

“It doesn’t bother me, I’m just not a princess. I slept on the floor most of my life next to a bedpan, so it seems a little strange to me, but I’m sure Sunny might seem a little weird to you too.” A hot spike of anger goes through me when I hear of her sleeping on the floor. Here I am, worrying about not having my own suite of rooms, and the only thing she’s worried about is being warm. As much as I want to know everything about her, I’m also a little scared to learn about what she’s been through. The small glimpses she’s given me so far haven’t been great.

“You don’t want to know what I was thinking when you called me Sunny.” I chuckle and begin leading her to my bed. I just need to figure out how to sit down and keep her in my arms.

“No, I really do.” She doesn’t resist my urging, not even when I dislodge her arms from around me and take the fur from her shoulders. She does make a humming sound when she shivers though.

“Hop in.” I motion toward the bed. She gives me a skeptical look, letting me know she’s still a little nervous with me. “No ulterior motives—well, not really. I just want to be close to you,” I admit sheepishly. I can’t help how attracted I am to her.

She climbs onto the narrow bed, and for the first time, I appreciate the slender construction. Briar scoots her back to the wall and hisses when she makes contact. “Are you injured?” I pause with only my knee beside her. If someone hurt her, I don’t think that I would be able to stop myself from hunting them down.

“No.” She shakes her head. “It was just cold.”

“You could lie down,” I suggest, giving her a moment to decide.

“That’s okay, it just caught me off guard.”

When I sit, it’s with the full length of my thigh beside hers. If I wasn’t worried about my arm being too heavy on her neck or making her uncomfortable, I would wrap my arm over her shoulders. Instead, I tuck the fur around her, pushing the edge behind her back, and cover her legs. I don’t really need the blanket, but I drape the remainder over myself.

“Why the hell would they even build this place on an ice cliff?”

“Foley likes to say Frostburn was built in tribute to Kenningar, and that the god actually walked these sacred halls, which I very much doubt. Any god I’ve ever met wouldn’t step foot in a shithole like this, let alone think its construction was some great homage. It makes for a better story, though, than some fucking idiot wanted an ice fortress because they weren’t strong enough to hold their land without the environment doing most of the work for them.”

“Who’s Foley?”

“The headmaster. You haven’t met him?”

“I don’t think so. Mick took me from the cell. He’s the only tutor who has given me their name.”

“You were being held in a cell?” No wonder I couldn’t find her. I never went down to the dungeons.

She nods. “I’m not sure how long I was there, but it felt like it was a few days at least.”

“Eleven,” I divulge, not sure if it’s one hundred percent accurate, but it has to be pretty damn close.

“How do you know?” She leans back a little.

“I heard we had a new arrival on the same day Taggert went missing, but nothing else. Eventually, I started looking.”

“Why?”

“I thought it was just to satisfy my curiosity, since you don’t stay on top of the pack by allowing shit to happen around you, but now I realize there was more driving me to look for you than I understood at the time.”

“You were looking for me?” Her voice is soft and hopeful.

“I was.” It’s the truth, and she needs to hear it.

She doesn’t say anything, but her features soften. “Eleven days… That’s a long time, but it still felt longer.”

“It is a long time.” I don’t tell her I didn’t start looking for her right away. Her knowing all the details isn’t nearly as important as her knowing someone was out here searching for her. “What happened while you were there?” This is a question I don’t want to ask but I must. I need to know if I need to kill anyone.

“Nothing. Someone would push a tray into the room every once in a while, but I didn’t see them or anything. The only person I saw was Mick when he told me the Ivy had accepted the trade and released me.”

“So it was a trade.” I suspected as much, but before now, I didn’t have any proof.

“Do they do them often?”

“Never before that I’m aware of. It doesn’t really make a ton of sense. Sure, there are things you can learn from the emissary, but could you ever trust them? Taggert was in the top ten of the elites. He knows things about all of us, maybe even some weaknesses, but they gave you up.” I search her face, wanting to trace her lips with my fingertips. Even if she wasn’t my everything, she is still far more valuable than Taggert.

“Sorry you guys got the shitty end of the deal.”

I shake my head. “We didn’t, which is why I can’t understand why they would let you go.”

“You might not think that later,” she warns.

“I will always think that. I might not have found you until the Undertaking if you hadn’t been sent here, and every day I’m with you, I will be grateful. However, I need to understand why they would give you up. Were you sent here as a spy?”

“No,” she replies quickly. “Not only would I be the worst spy ever, since I constantly get lost, but I think they would have trained me for it or at least told me what to look for.”

There isn’t a hint of deception in her words, no increase of her heartbeat or anxiety. She could have trained to hide some of those reactions, but not all. Besides, there would be no reason for her to lie to me. If she needed to learn every detail about Frostburn and report back to ensure her safety, I would give her every piece of information I had and find the rest. “Any other ideas?” I ask.

Her shoulders lift when she inhales deeply. “I really think she just finally understood I wasn’t going to be what she hoped. There was a lot of effort put into training me. It used up a ton of their strongest resources.”

“How? What kind of resources?”

“An instructor. He spent all his time training me physically, not working with any of the other novices. He was trying to make me stronger so I could survive the Undertaking. Plus, someone tried to kill me, and that was after I was framed for murder. I was more trouble than I was worth.”

That could never be the case, but she certainly seems to believe it. What I’m curious about is this instructor who seemed so invested in her. “Who was he? I thought Syrinx was a female.” She wouldn’t even need to respond for me to know the answer. The way her eyes drop tells me enough, but she answers, confirming my thoughts.

“Him.”

Her mate. “He was an instructor?” I know these are hard questions for her, but I need to know.

“One of them was… is.” She scrunches up her face.

“What about the other one?”

“Kage.” She sighs his name. Although I sense her sadness, it isn’t as sharp as it is for the other mate. “That’s a bit complicated.” Her arms flop to her lap, and she doesn’t pull her hand away when her fingers land on my thigh. It’s such a small touch, but it feels huge to me.

“Can you tell me about it? About him?” I don’t want to push her, but these are details I will need to know. I need to be aware if one or both of them are going to show up here sick from bondlust and try to take her from me.

A soft smile plays on her lips before her eyes become glassy with unshed tears. “He was my shadow. He saved me before I could even make it to the Ivy.” Her eyes go unfocused as she looks across the room, not seeing what’s in front of her as she begins to tell me about her arrival at the other institute. I know she’s skipping over parts, because things not directly involving Kage are a little vague. I learn that Kage has to be the unluckiest motherfucker on the planet. My stomach actually twists in sympathy for the male. I can’t imagine the willpower he has to have. I would have lost my mind in a matter of hours if I couldn’t touch Briar, and it sounds like he spent weeks keeping his distance from her before finally getting close, only to stay at arm’s length. No wonder she doesn’t have the same bond with him as she does the tutor. She wasn’t able to do more than recognize their connection.

“Everyone thought he was cursed.” She actually rolls her eyes. “I tried to get him to touch me to show him I wouldn’t be affected, but he didn’t believe me, and Ziv would have killed him.” Her face twists, and a shot of pure pain lashes through our burgeoning bond.

Because I’m so caught up in her reaction, it takes me a moment to process the name and how I know it. Panic that belongs only to me grips my chest. I know of Ziv. Everyone in the realm knows of the fallen god turned atheist to forsake his own kind. He wasn’t the first god to fall, but he is the first who has resurfaced to walk among us. Even fallen as he is, he is more powerful than I could dream of being. He was the god of fucking war, after all.

He could take Briar from me. If the stories are true, he could even sever my bond to her completely. Shifters fear little, but we don’t dare invite trouble with the gods. Fear of ending up like the wyverns who lost the ability to mate to the point of extinction after one such feud has kept us compliant to them and their Undertaking. Games of dominance are also in our blood, so it seemed like a simple sport to prove worthiness in our world and not incite their wrath.

“Sunny.” Briar’s soft murmur drags me from my dark thoughts. God or no, he is not taking her from me. I would die first. “I see you know him.” Something akin to disappointment colors her tone, and with it, I get a new perspective. Anger starts to build, pushing down the fear of losing her.

“Of him,” I confirm.

“Now you understand why I know he isn’t coming, right?” Her voice is steady, almost hard, but so filled with emotion my own throat tightens. Pain gnaws at the remaining piece of her heart, but she doesn’t show any sign of acknowledging it. If I wasn’t her mate and didn’t sense her emotions like my own, I wouldn’t even be aware of how gutted she is by his betrayal. “There is nothing that could keep him from me. Nothing.” She shakes her head, seeming to accept her own words. Her mouth opens as if she might add more, but she only gasps for air and grits her teeth.

I can’t imagine what she is going through, because I can’t even sort out my own emotions. How can I be angry that he abandoned her and terrified that he could change his mind and come back at the same time?

“I don’t want to talk about him anymore.” Only her lips move when she speaks, but there are tears rolling down her cheeks like twin rivers. That’s the moment any fear I feel gets drowned by her pain. Maybe gods truly are heartless.