Bitter Brambles (The Ivy Institute #2)

Chapter 14

MOROS

W hen I wake, my mind is foggy, but not my body. My hand is on my hard cock, which is familiar. Most days, I can ignore the ache, at least until I’m alone in the bathing room, but if I don’t leave now to take care of myself, I’m going to do something stupid, like pretend Briar is a deep sleeper and she won’t wake up if I take care of myself while lying right next to her.

It takes several seconds and a calming breath before I have the strength to take my hand out of my pants. That tiny movement is all it takes for Briar to blink her eyes open and stare at me. I asked her weeks ago if she’s always slept so lightly or if I was the one disturbing her. I hated her answer and the simple way she stated it, as if she believed everyone grew up in fear the way she did.

“Everything okay?” Her voice is even softer than usual, yet it doesn’t dampen how it makes me feel.

“Yes, go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you.”

“I wasn’t really sleeping,” she admits, and I can see the truth in her eyes. She’s far too alert. It’s then I realize why she wasn’t sleeping and why my dick feels like it was hit with a sledgehammer from throbbing so hard—Briar is aroused. The scent of her desire is so strong, I don’t know how I missed it before. I probably ignored it on purpose. It isn’t the first time I’ve scented her need, but it might be the strongest it’s ever been.

I turn on my side to face her, fighting against my instincts to sate the need she’s feeling. It has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I’m terrified to push her. She’s still hurting and will probably always long for Ziv, but I hope one day she will make room in her heart for me.

“What’s wrong, princess?” I ask, pretending like I’m not painfully aware of the reason she’s awake. Briar has spent so long thinking she lacked any magic that she often forgets about the simple things we all take for granted, like heightened senses.

“I’ve been an idiot,” she says while scooting closer to me. I’m so aware of her that even her warm breath over my neck feels like a caress.

Disregarding my desires, I bring my hand up and stroke the side of her face, sinking my fingers into her thick hair. “No, you haven’t. What are you talking about?”

“Yes, I have. I’ve been punishing both of us for someone else’s choices. I know I may not get to keep you forever, and it was stupid of me to waste one minute of the time I do get to be with you.”

Her words are exactly what I’ve needed to hear, yet they hurt at the same time because I understand why she feels the way she does. “I know why you’ve taken things slowly, Briar. There’s no need to rush because I will be here forever.” The moment I say the words, I hear the truth in them. I would give up my pack, my home, and even my legacy if it meant being with her. It makes what Ziv and Kage did harder to understand because there is nothing—not the school or the gods—that could keep me from finding her.

Her eyes are glassy when she smiles with doubt. She still doesn’t believe me, but I can’t blame her, not now. In time, she will learn to trust me. I’ll make sure of it.

“Kiss me?” She actually poses it as a question, as if I would deny her. I lean forward and place my mouth against hers, wanting to give her anything she needs. She breathes me in then lets out a soft sigh. Her arousal is even stronger, and I pray I will have the will to not be selfish.

When her mouth opens and she deepens the kiss, my body stiffens—and not just my dick, which can’t get any harder—with restraint. Sensing my hesitation, she pulls back while averting her eyes from mine. “I’m sorry.”

I move so quickly she gasps when I grab her chin between my thumb and finger to force her gaze to mine. “Don’t be sorry.” My voice is so damn thick, it’ll be a wonder if she can even understand the garbled mess. “I just don’t trust myself, princess. I want you so badly, I don’t trust myself.”

“I want you too,” she whispers, and I was wrong about my cock not being able to get harder. Hell, I might embarrass myself and come just from the thought of being with her.

“Are you sure? I won’t be able to stop the bond once it starts,” I warn. Bonding with a shifter isn’t just physical, nor is it just about sex. Those are large parts, but the physical joining only acts as a pathway for the true bond to form. Our bodies and souls will forever be linked. We cannot exist without the other, because it would be like removing half of my heart and at least a third from hers and expecting them to still beat. I don’t know much about the mate bond with a fallen god or if she would survive his death. I wouldn’t have thought it was even possible since gods do not bond, but she’s proof it can happen with a fallen. As far as Kage, her bond to him was never completed, so I’m not sure if he would factor into the scenario at all.

“It’s already too late for me, but if you aren’t sure?—”

I cut anything else she might say off when I swoop down and seal my lips to hers. I don’t want to give her a chance to change her mind. It takes a heartbeat for her to respond, but when she does, her mouth meets mine just as eagerly. The soft little sounds she makes when my tongue touches hers only spurs me to pull her closer.

My beast rises, mingling our minds until there is no separation between us. In the past, I might have been worried that this kind of meshing would cause me to lose control and shift, but being so perfectly connected means I know we aren’t in any danger of changing. He just wants the same thing I do—his mate.

Her fingers tremble when she brushes them over my chest, and my heart splutters erratically in response. Every nerve ending in my body is alive and on fire, waiting for her touch. When she leans into me so I can feel her breasts against my chest as she rolls me onto my back, I nearly come undone. My eyes close with the slight weight of her on my chest. I can’t imagine feeling anything better, but then she moves her kisses lower, brushing featherlight touches over my chin and jaw, until I feel her tongue make a path on my neck. I groan in surrender, tilting my head back and exposing a vulnerability to her I would never give anyone else.

She stills, her hot breath fanning over my sensitive skin, and I feel my chest constrict, thinking she’s going to stop. “Briar?” Her name is a desperate plea. I want to reassure her if she changed her mind, but I can’t make my mouth work to say it’s okay.

The wet tip of her tongue slides up my throat again. “Gods, you smell good.” Her voice is pitched low in a whisper. If I wasn’t afraid to move and dislodge her, I would shiver, but I fight my body’s reaction to her and lie completely still.

“We smell good, princess. That isn’t just me,” I remind her. Her body doesn’t have the same ability to exude pheromones like mine does, but her desire still perfumes the air, mingling with mine in a way that makes me feel intoxicated.

Briar lets the blunt ends of her teeth drag along my skin, and I make a sound I would never admit to creating—a whimper. My hand goes up to the back of her head, and I apply pressure, encouraging her to use those two tiny little fangs in her mouth on me. My wolf is strangely still, as if he’s dying for the same thing. He wants her to mark us and claim every inch of us.

When her lips close over my skin and she sucks roughly, my dick throbs so hard my body jerks in response. I’m about to embarrass myself, and I can’t pretend like I care. She releases her hold, and every rigid muscle tightened with tension relaxes, leaving me to feel like a puddle on the bed. I don’t know how I can feel so sedate while my heart is ready to pound out of my chest at the same time.

Catching me by surprise, Briar tosses her leg over my waist and straddles my hips. When she lowers herself and I feel her heat centered right over me, I nearly swallow my tongue. My hands are already on her hips, and I don’t remember moving them. She rolls her head back on her shoulders as her lips part to let out a soft breath I would give just about anything to taste.

When she brings her eyes back down to mine, all heavy-lidded and dreamy, I sit up and kiss her. She wraps her arms around my shoulders and tangles her tongue with mine. It isn’t the first time we’ve kissed by far, but it feels like the first time where there hasn’t been a wall between us. She tastes like home, warm and sweet.

Her eager hands trace under my shirt, giving me permission to do the same. Briar arches into my touch, shifting with me and rolling her hips in a perfect rhythm. I know she’s bare under her tunic, but I hadn’t allowed myself to think about how thin the barrier between my lips and her skin truly is. Now, I take advantage, gathering the light fabric in my fist and exposing her skin as I lift the material. I break the kiss and pull the tunic over her head, leaving her bare from the waist up.

My eyes drop down to trace the skin I’ve lovingly washed when she was too tired to lift her arms after the work she did on the field. I could never discount the intimacy of the shared moments, but this is completely different. I knew she trusted me the first time she plopped the soap in my palm with a look that said all I needed to know. She needed me then, needed to know she was safe, and I could take care of her. She still needs those things, but more.

I lower my head and kiss the top of her breast, savoring the way she inhales sharply and arches her back to make sure she’s even closer to my lips. She’s so small, my fingers span nearly her entire back. So many would misjudge her as weak just by her size alone, but she is the fiercest little creature I’ve ever seen. Every single time she falls, she gets right back up and tries again without a word of complaint. I can’t count the times I wanted to drag her out of the sand and curse the gods and this institute for the suffering she’s already been through, but then I might not have found her, and I’m too selfish for that.

Her fingers delve into my hair, knotting my mop into her fist as she encourages me to move lower. I find her nipple, the peak already hard. She groans long and low while her hips circle as if to mimic my tongue twisting around her tip. The urge to sink my teeth into her flesh, mark her, and take her life into me is hard to ignore, but I resist. I need to make sure she’s ready, and it wouldn’t be fair of me to ask in the heat of the moment.

I slide my mouth lower, and my hands skim down her sides, feeling her ribs under my fingers. She’s so fucking delicate, so breakable. Her body, while strong for her size, is ultimately her weakness. I know Ziv trained her, it’s evident when she spars, but it doesn’t make me any less terrified for her every time she’s in the sand. I don’t know how I’m going to protect her if she gets sent to the Undertaking.

“What’s wrong?” Her soft voice distracts me from my thoughts, and I realize my ear is over her heart, and I’m clinging to her like she’s already slated to die.

I release my death grip and pull back to look into her eyes. “I can’t lose you, Briar.”

Her expression softens before she gives me a sad little smile. “I’m not going anywhere.” She drops her forehead to mine and says the rest in a whisper. “At least not by choice. If I disappear, it’s not because I wanted to. When she took me last time, she stopped time.”

“Who?” She’s never talked about how she was taken from the Ivy other than to say it was a dragon that delivered her here, and that wasn’t even something she told me directly.

“Oaktar.” She utters the goddess of envy’s name without any hesitation. Even now, she doesn’t show any fear. I’ve been so caught up in Briar and keeping her with me, I haven’t been diligent about finding out how she got here in the first place or why. That needs to change, but not right now. Right now, I need to focus on my mate and our bond.

“If something does happen, Briar, promise me you’ll remember I will come for you. No matter how long it takes, I will find you.”

She slides her hand up my cheek, a rueful expression still curling her lips. “I know you will try.” She kisses me so gently, I barely feel her lips brush against mine, but it sears deep into my soul. “I’m sorry I waited so long to let you in.” Her confession is pure, but I don’t need an explanation. I doubt I would have the will to live if I were in her shoes. She’s so much stronger than she gives herself credit for.

“Don’t apologize, princess. I have loved every second with you.” I seal my lips to hers, and the need for talking melts away with our desperate touches, an unspoken urgency fueling us.

brIAR

Moros kisses me deeply. The constant ache in my chest ebbs a little, allowing me to feel the joy of the moment while still experiencing the pain of missing Ziv. I’m not sure I will ever fully recover my heart, but the clamp that seems to be compressing my chest and lungs doesn’t seem so taut at the moment. Kage remains a shadow in my thoughts, always hovering in the edges of my mind. I miss the way he would look at me, but at least I understand it now. The darkness in his gaze was pain, and the distance he kept between us was a necessary evil he accepted. He resigned himself to our fate the moment he met me. I wish I could feel the same acceptance for the loss.

It takes effort, but I cordon off my mind and shore up the walls I’ve been erecting to keep thoughts of them at bay. My mind slowly clears, and the only thing I can see or feel is Sunny.

His lovely scent fills the room and coats my skin. Hours from now, I will still be able to smell him, and so will anyone else who gets near me. He told me it’s a shifter thing, a way for everyone else to know I’m his. Thankfully it’s a biological response and not a magical one, because I would hate not to experience this and how it feels to be claimed by him. With shaking fingers, I lift his shirt, exposing skin I’ve thought about tracing with my tongue more times than I can count. He’s lean and built for speed and strength that I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing in the arena.

Our teeth clash once before he shifts his mouth away from mine and works his lips down my neck. When he nibbles on the skin of my shoulder, my entire body stills. Moros explained the way bonding works for shifters. He will bite me in this exact spot to truly claim me, and I will wear the scar for the rest of my life. I didn’t tell him that I bit Ziv, initiating the bond between us without even realizing it—not that I regretted it—and he didn’t ask, but from the way he described his bonding bite, making sure I knew it wouldn’t be too painful, I don’t think he knows that beings other than shifters have similar customs.

Anticipation makes my heart flutter in my chest, but what surprises me is the desire mixed with hunger swirling in my belly. I want to bite him… taste him. I want to know that I have some part of him inside me so no matter what happens, he will never truly be apart from me.

The realization hits me like a hammer, and I gasp in honest relief. This entire time, I’ve been focused on what I lost and not what I still have. Ziv may not be with me now, but I knew his heart—no, I know his heart and how he felt for me. He loved me so deeply, I know his emotions mirrored my own. Something clicks into place, and while I still miss him, I no longer feel like I lost him entirely, because some part of the fallen god will always be with me even if he chooses not to be.

I run my hand up Moros’s back until my fingers are tangled in his hair, and then I put pressure on the back of his head. “I need you to bite me, Sunny.” I tilt my head a little more, trying to tempt him with more than just my words.

A sound rumbles from his chest, and I know it’s my wolf speaking through him. Before I can warn him that I plan to do the same in return, Moros strikes, sinking his teeth into my shoulder. My body reacts, bowing to anticipated pain that never arrives. My thoughts get hazy, like I’m just about to fall asleep when everything feels like it’s surrounded in cotton, then without warning, it’s like a rubber band snaps, and I’m hit with too much clarity. I sense Moros, and not just the fact that he’s with me, but unfettered access to his thoughts and feelings. Adoration and desire mingle together, making a potent cocktail that’s all-consuming. Obsessed wouldn’t be too large of a word to describe what I’m feeling, but I start to wonder if the emotions were mine all along, because I can’t tell where his thoughts end and mine begin.

The pressure on my shoulder wanes as Moros releases his hold. When I feel his tongue lap over the wound as if he can’t get enough of my taste, I release a small moan. I’m not sure if it’s the action itself or the show of care that elicits the euphoric feeling, but it makes me feel cherished all the same. While he’s still kissing me, I turn my face into his neck and return the favor, sinking my own teeth into the side of his neck much higher than he bit me.

He jolts as if I caught him by surprise, but then he makes that wonderful rumbly sound and holds my head against his neck. When the metallic taste of his blood hits my tongue, I expect my thoughts to shatter, leaving me feeling woozy, but it seems the drunken effect only comes with fallen god blood. My mind remains crystal clear, allowing me to revel in the exchange with complete understanding. When I bit Ziv, I had no idea I was forging a bond between us, but this is a conscious choice, a deliberate act to accept him as part of me and to give him part of myself in return. A thread of worry tries to slip into my thoughts, making me wonder if there will be anything left of me if I lose him too, but I shove it away. I have him in this moment and will have him as long as no one comes between us, and that’s more than anyone else could promise.

Moros’s hand slides from the back of my head after I release his neck, down my shoulders, and over the curve of my back with a delicate touch. When those same fingers reach the waistband of my pants, I lift a little, encouraging him to take them off.

After several less than successful attempts to rid me of the fabric without damaging it while I’m straddling him, I let out a husky laugh before shifting to the side and removing them myself with a little awkward shuffling. Moros takes the time to take off his own pants. The moment he’s done, his lips are back on my skin, kissing and caressing. There’s an unmistakable change between us. Not only do I feel the tethers of the bond tying us together, but the rushed urgency that was nipping at me has been replaced with desire and the need to reaffirm our connection.

I push him back on the bed then spend a little time cleaning the small amount of blood that dripped from his healing shoulder. Briefly, I wonder if the evidence of my bite will scar his skin. It’s selfish and vain, but I hope it does. I want everyone to know he belongs to me.

His hands roam over my back and waist, brushing the sides of my breasts while I move down his body, allowing my nipples to graze over the fine hairs on his chest and lower down to his belly. The texture against my skin is divine. When my face is over his thick shaft, I wrap my fingers around him but keep my eyes locked on his face. Moros tips his head back, exposing his neck, and I watch in fascination as his throat bobs when he swallows.

“Briar,” he pleads softly, and I answer by parting my lips and taking his tip into my mouth. His next utterance is a long, slow curse. The sound of fabric rending has me looking up again to see him fisting the bed linens. The cords in his neck are taut, as if he’s clenching his teeth. When I take him a little deeper, his back bows clear off the bed.

Seeing the way he reacts to me makes me feel desirable in a way I never thought I would experience again. My inner muscles clench. I want him inside me, but I need this first. I want to see him come undone with my mouth on him and witness how I affect him.

When his head starts to thrash from left to right, he releases the sheets and reaches for me. His hand slips into my hair, and he fists the strands. I suck harder, deeper, worried he’s going to try to pull me off, but he doesn’t have time to stop me. His cock jerks in my mouth, and he comes. I swallow quickly as his heady scent grows even stronger.

A heartbeat later, Moros pulls my mouth off him. The urge to resist is gone, but more importantly, I need to take a deep breath. I wipe the side of my mouth with the back of my hand while taking a moment to steady my breathing, and he uses my distraction to roll us over so I’m the one flat on my back with him hovering above me. His eyes are wild as he traces my features as if it’s the first time he’s seeing me.

“Sunny?” I feel insecure, like I did something wrong.

He slowly brings his body down to mine, covering me from chest to toes with his weight. “I, Alpha Moros of the Ashcroft Pack, take you, Briar, as my mate.” I have a physical reaction to the words. My breath leaves me in a huff as if the air is knocked from my lungs by a blow, but in reality, it’s just the results of hearing the words spoken out loud that causes it.

He leans in and kisses me tenderly, tasting my mouth like I’m a delicacy. When I catch my breath, I kiss him deeply. My hands stray to his back, trailing up and down until he shudders and moves his kisses to the corner of my lips, then down to my neck and chest. The familiar ache between my legs grows until I’m lifting my hips off the bed in a bid to get closer to him. Moros slips his hand between our bodies, reaching for the exact spot I need him. I melt when his finger circles my clit, sinking into the narrow mattress. My hips swivel with his movement, but as good as it feels, it’s not enough. I need to feel him inside me.

“Sunny, I need you.” I barely recognize my own husky voice.

“Tell me what you need, princess.” His reply is instant. A wave of heat, which starts right where his finger is still making maddeningly slow circles, washes through me. I clamp my lips together. I don’t know how to tell him what I need.

“Yes you do, Briar,” he murmurs, proving not only our bodies are linked, but also our minds.

“You already know. You’re in my head,” I tell him, growing more desperate by the second.

“I wanted you before I even knew you existed. I want to hear—no, feel how much you want me too.” I groan when he slides his finger lower, teasing my opening. My inner muscles clamp down, feeling way too empty.

“I want you inside me, Sunny, joining us together forever.”

He lets out a sigh that could be called a moan and slips two thick fingers inside me as if to reward me, but it isn’t his fingers I want. Moros’s hot breath huffs against my skin before he nibbles my nipple.

Does he want me to beg?

“No, I just know you’re going to make me come again the moment I get inside you.” If his voice wasn’t so soft and sincere, I might think he was teasing me, but I can feel he’s telling the truth. He’s worried about satisfying me.

I reach between our bodies, and the moment I circle him with my fingers, he stills, making me wonder if he’s even still breathing. “I need you,” I say and loosen my grip just enough to work my fingers over him. He sucks in a shaky breath then positions himself where I need him. I’m so wet, it only takes a couple of short strokes before he pushes deep inside me. I tip my head back as my inner walls quiver around him. When he continues to circle my clit while slowly sliding in and out of me, I know he doesn’t need to worry about coming too fast, because I’m already right there with him. “Don’t stop,” I plead, digging my nails into his back.

Moros kisses my neck then nibbles my shoulder until I feel his lips hit the sensitive spot he already bit. My heart skips a beat in the time it takes him to fit his mouth back over the same place. My brain says it should hurt, but my body isn’t getting the same message, because the only thing I feel is orgasm inducing pleasure.

Moros curls over me, his teeth locked on my shoulder and hips slamming into mine while I convulse around him. When my cries get too loud, I bite the palm of my hand to stifle the sound. I don’t want anyone infringing on this moment. Just as my mind starts to clear, Moros thrusts deep inside me, and his entire body stills other than his dick, which pulses just as intensely as my inner muscles spasm.

A slight ache registers when he unlocks his teeth from my shoulder, but the throb it sends through my body is pure pleasure. I quiver on the inside, eliciting a soft groan from Moros who then begins kissing me again. I make an effort to lift my arm to wrap it around his back, but it takes a few seconds for my brain to send the memo.

“How can you even move?” I mumble, feeling like I melted into the bed.

He chuckles darkly, and the sound rolls over my skin with as much effect as a tender caress. “Sweet Briar, I’m just getting started. Before I’m done, you really won’t be able to move.”