Blade (Silver Shadows MC #1)

Chapter Two

Blade

I stomped my way out of The Diner and headed toward my bike. I needed to take a ride and clear my head. Climbing onto my Harley Davidson Heritage Classic, I fired it up, letting the rumble course through me. Taking a right out of the parking lot in the opposite direction of the clubhouse, I rode out of town.

She wasn’t supposed to come back.

Fuck!

With Grams living across the road from the clubhouse, I knew there was always a chance it might happen. I didn’t think it would be this soon. I’d assumed that she would settle down, get married, and pop out a couple of kids before returning here. A heads-up would have given me time to get my shit together.

I figured Grams would have told me, let me wrap my head around her coming home, but in all the days I’d spent helping that woman around the house, fixing things, mowing the lawn, she had never said a word.

I knew it was her as soon as I saw her.

Even before Rachel said her name. It killed me the way she looked up at Jack. She didn’t notice Jack glance over at me when Rachel called her name. The even shorter version of what I called her. I shook my head at him, knowing he would understand and not say anything.

Then there was Rachel. Rachel knew exactly what the fuck she was doing. She and I didn’t agree on how to handle this situation. We never had. We have had a hypothetical discussion often, and that hypothetical just became a goddamn reality.

Thankfully, as Cash’s old lady, she knew the club came first. Unless I gave her permission, she had to keep her mouth shut.

I just needed to keep my distance, not get close enough for her to see who I really was. She didn’t recognize me today. How could she when she hadn’t seen me in a decade?

Not since that last day.

Ten years ago

“Micah!” I looked up from the book I was reading to see Becca headed my way. My best friend. She was the only person I trusted. The one person I knew who had my back. It was her I wanted to tell everything to, but couldn’t. She sat beside me against the tree in front of the high school.

“Hey, Becca, you heading to The Diner?”

“No, Grams needs me home to do chores. What about you? You meeting Tina there?” I could hear the sneer in her voice. She wasn’t a fan of Tina. To be honest, I wasn’t a fan of Tina either, but since Becca was off-limits, Tina made an ok runner-up.

If I thought for a second that getting together with Becca wouldn’t ruin our friendship, I wouldn’t hesitate. Losing her was a chance I wasn’t willing to take. The direction my life was headed would ensure I would lose her. There was nothing I could do to stop it.

“Nah, Tina was just a distraction.”

“God, boys are such dogs. A distraction? From what?”

From you, I thought, a distraction from you.

“I will never understand how you can do things with her and not feel anything. That isn’t fair to her.”

“You don’t even like her.”

Becca looked at me with her mouth open like she was trying to catch flies.

“That is not the point, you jerk.”

Laughing, she gave me a shove with her shoulder, and I shoved her back.

“Hey, I’m a teenage boy. We only think about one thing,” I said with a wink.

Becca shook her head and stood up.

“I have to get home. Can you come by the house later? We can watch a movie.”

“Sure.” I looked up at her and lied, not because I wanted to, but because I had to.

I jumped to my feet.

“Hey, Becca.”

Grabbing her wrist, she turned back, and I pressed my lips to hers. It was only a brief kiss. I couldn’t chance more than that. Nonetheless, it was a kiss I would always remember. When I pulled back, she smiled.

“What was that for?”

“I told you, I’m a teenage boy. We only think about one thing.” I winked, and she laughed and walked away.

I stared after her, committing everything to memory, because after tonight, I would never see her again.

After tonight, I would be dead.

I wish I’d had the chance to tell her what was going on. I wished I could have stayed, but it was just too dangerous. Not just for my parents and me, but for everyone connected to us.

We had to die to protect the ones we loved.

Grams told me she didn’t take my death well. It didn’t make me happy per se, but it sure made me an asshole that I liked it.

It told me I meant enough to her that my death devastated her. It also made me an asshole that I didn’t tell her when my father, who brought this whole thing on us, died and I was free to live my life again.

Death was easier to accept than betrayal.

Betrayal was what it was. My biggest secret and I never told her. She thought I told her everything. She told me everything, and that made me love her.

My love for her was what allowed me to lie to her every day when she thought my dad was an accountant. He was an accountant, just not a legal one, and not for the good guys.

My love for her was what allowed me to search for her when I was free. I saw her happy and chose not to disrupt that happiness with my own selfish motives. And my love for her was what allowed me to let her continue to live in ignorance, believing that I was still dead.

Who was I kidding?

That was my fear.

Fear of telling her the truth and feeling her hate for me.

This way I could live in ignorance and pretend that what I had done was the right thing, the noble thing, not the selfish thing. There was one thing I had learned about myself and my family.

We rarely did the right thing.

We always opted for the selfish thing.

A few hours had passed, as I made my way to the gate of the clubhouse, praying they didn’t bring Becca back with them. Although even if they didn’t, she was likely right across the road.

I walked into the clubhouse and immediately spotted Rachel. I marched toward her, and Cash must have read my expression because he stood directly in front of her.

“Easy brother, don’t do something stupid that I have to beat your ass for.”

I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding and looked my VP in the eye.

“She had no right to pull that shit.”

My brothers all knew about my past, as did Rachel, since despite the difference in my size from when I was fifteen years old, she recognized me as soon as she got involved with the club.

“I’ve already talked to her about it. She knows she was wrong.”

Rachel slipped around Cash and looked up at me.

“I’m sorry, Blade. I was excited about her being back. I wasn’t thinking. If she knew, I know she would stay, and I want her to stay, Blade. I want my friend back.”

I took a deep breath and pulled Rachel to me.

Leaning down, I kissed her forehead.

“I know, babe. But it’s not that easy. It’s been ten years. It’s too late to go back. Telling her now would only hurt her. You can have your friend back, but that doesn’t mean I get her back, too. I don’t get to be in her life.”

With that said, I released her and took off to my room.

This weekend would be tough. I needed to mow Grams’ lawn, and I needed to get her alone and tell her the same thing I just told Rachel.

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t go back again.

Saturday morning came early as I headed out of the clubhouse and across the road. Grams and I had an arrangement. She left the coffee machine on, and I grabbed a cup before I started mowing the lawn. An arrangement she clearly hadn’t told Becca about, considering I walked into Grams’ kitchen to find Becca standing at the sink in a tank top and panties and nothing else.

God, she was even more beautiful than I remembered. Her auburn hair pulled on top of her head in some kind of messy bun was sexy as hell. Her waist was thin, and her hips flared out. Hips I could hold on to. Her long legs that begged to be wrapped around my waist, or my shoulders.

The last decade had been damn good to her.

She must have heard the screen door because she jumped and swung around. It took everything in me not to smile when she screamed, and even more for me to stay by the door and not walk over and wrap my arms around her.

“What the heck are you doing here?”

My eyes roamed over her body as I took in the state of her dress, or rather, undress.

“Get the heck out of here!”

Despite my control, one side of my mouth rose in a half grin that I was damn sure made me fit every stereotype of a dirty biker, but I couldn’t help it.

I didn’t hide it when I adjusted myself in my jeans, either.

“Put some clothes on if you want to have a conversation, because from where I’m standing, I won’t hear a fucking word you say. Pun intended.”

Then I winked at her.

“UGH!” She ran from the room as Grams stepped into the kitchen.

“Blade.” Grams raised her eyebrow, giving me a knowing look that left me feeling suitably chastised.

“I couldn’t help it, Grams. I didn’t think she would be up yet. The Becca I knew wouldn’t be up before noon without a fire alarm.”

“You’re right, she isn’t the Becca you knew. She’s Beck now.”

“True.” I sighed. “Which reminds me, I wanted to talk to you about something, but we need to hurry before she comes back downstairs. She can’t know who I am. I need to keep my distance. She doesn’t deserve anymore heartbreak.”

“You don’t think she will be more heartbroken when she learns the truth?”

“That’s my point. I don’t want her to learn the truth.”

Grabbing a mug from the cabinet, I poured myself some coffee before heading out to mow the lawn. Kissing Grams on the cheek, I turned to reiterate my stance.

“I won’t be stopping back in after I’m done. I’ll come back after I shower to take you to the store though. Please be ready because I won’t come in then either. I’ll honk when I get back.”

“You can’t avoid her forever.”

Grams’ words followed me out the door.

I knew she spoke the truth, but like hell if I wouldn’t try for as long as I could.