Blade (Silver Shadows MC #1)

Chapter Nine

Beck

I’d avoided everyone from the club for the last few days, even Rachel. She had reached out a few times, but I just needed time to wrap my head around everything Rach and the girls told me at brunch.

Grams had asked me repeatedly what was wrong, and I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her what was going on in my head. She clearly didn’t understand the ins and outs of the MC she had befriended.

That had to be it.

I couldn’t see her sticking around where men treated women like property. She dealt with that enough back in the day.

Ok, maybe she didn’t know.

Maybe I should enlighten her.

Heading downstairs, I found Grams in her favorite spot. She once told me my grandfather bought her that rocking chair as a ‘just because’ gift. From that day on, she said it was her second favorite place to be. Her favorite being lying on my grandfather’s chest. With him gone, she said this was where she felt him the most.

“Hey, Grams, do you have a minute?”

“Of course, sweetheart. What’s on your mind?”

“I had brunch with the girls associated with the club last weekend and some of the things they said concerned me. I have to believe that you don’t really understand what they are like, because you would never be okay with the way they treat their women.”

Sighing, I got it all out.

“This again, Beck?”

“Yes, Grams, this again. And again. And again. And again, until I get you to understand what is going on over there.”

“What do you think is going on over there?”

“Grams, the men control their every move. Most of the women aren’t even with a guy in the club.”

Grams narrowed her eyes at me and asked, “Define controlled.”

“Everywhere they go, someone follows them. Grace isn’t even seeing anyone or related to anyone in the club, but someone sits at the bar every night she works at and watches over her. And Samantha, she lives out of town and has to drive around to lose whoever is following her just to get away.”

I sat there waiting for her to process what I said, expecting her to get angry. I realized quickly I would be waiting a while as she laughed.

“Grams, this is serious!” I sighed, frustrated that she didn’t understand what I was saying.

“Beck, I have known these men for five years. I have cooked for and had dinner with them every Saturday night for the last four, and Blade has been helping take care of me at least that long. I think I know them better than you do.”

“But, Grams, the girls—”

Grams stood up from her chair and glared at me. “The girls what? Did the girls complain?”

“Well, no, but—”

“Did the girls ask for help? Have they said they asked them to stop?”

“No.” I sat there looking at my shoes. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw Grams this upset with me.

“Rebecca Lynn Washington.”

Uh oh, she full named me.

She wasn’t happy.

I looked up at her under my lashes and waited.

“Those girls all knew what they were getting into when they got involved in the club. Someone in that club loves each one of those girls.”

“But, Grams, they aren’t—”

Pointing her finger at my face, I closed my mouth and waited.

“Those girls may not know it, but they are all loved by a man in that club. Those men will do whatever they have to in order to keep them safe, and I have never heard one of them complain even remotely seriously. They love it.”

Sighing, I tucked my tail between my legs and turned to go, stopping when I heard the last words Grams said before she left the room.

“Girl, you better get used to it. Your time’s coming.”

With that bomb dropped on me, she headed to the kitchen.

I stood there speechless, too afraid to ask what she meant.

As I left the house, Grams’ words floated around inside my head. What could she possibly have meant by that?

‘Girl, you better get used to it! Your time’s coming.’

My time for what?

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t even realize I was walking toward The Book Store. I swore this town had the most uncreative names: The Book Store, The Diner, Manny’s Supermarket.

Not a pun in sight.

As I stepped into The Book Store, it was like being thrown back in time. While the store looked different, most likely because of Ryder taking over, there were just so many memories that swirled around me.

“Hey, Rach, look at this!” Rachel and I were in the romance section looking over the covers, commonly referred to as ‘bodice rippers’. Fabio was on almost every cover with his long blond hair blowing in the wind.

This was the only chance we had to look at them, knowing Mr. Thomas would never sell one to us and the library would only let adults borrow them. We had to take the opportunity when we had it.

“Oh my God, Beck, this one sounds so hot. Maybe we can get Ryder to sneak it out to us and slip it back in when we’re done.”

“Hell no,” Ryder declared, coming up behind us.

Micah looked over my shoulder, trying to read the back of the book.

Taking it from my hand, he turned it around and looked at the front.

“Becca, you don’t need to read that shit. I can show you anything you want to learn,” Micah boasted, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

I smacked his chest with the back of my hand, telling him, “In your dreams, buddy.”

We all jumped when Ryder’s dad caught us by surprise.

“What are you kids doing?” he asked, taking the book from Micah. He looked at the cover and gave him a look that said, ‘not a chance, young man.’

“ Hi, Mr. Thomas, we were just looking around.”

“Well, maybe you kids should look around in the young adult section and leave the adult books to the adults.”

We all headed over to the ‘appropriate’ section.

Little did Mr. Thomas know Ryder let us in after hours to look at all the adult books we wanted.

Lost in my memories, I didn’t notice the two little girls until they crashed into me.

“Woah, hello there.” I looked down at two of the cutest little girls I had ever seen and knew right away they must be Ryder’s girls.

“Who are you?” the older girl, Chrissy, I assumed, asked abruptly.

“My name is Beck. I’m a friend of your dad’s. You must be Chrissy.” Looking at her little sister, I said, “and you must be Tabitha.”

Both girls looked up at me with wide eyes.

“You know who we are?”

“Yup, your dad told me all about you.”

“Are you his girlfriend?”

“No, Beck is not my girlfriend.”

I looked up and saw Ryder walking toward us.

“Hey, Beck, glad you came in.”

He kissed my cheek, and the girls giggled.

“Alright, you two, head over to the couch and we can get started on that book in just a minute.”

“A real minute, or a dad minute?”

I tried to hide my smile at the sass. Chrissy was definitely Ryder’s daughter.

“I just have to finish up a couple of things, then we can read.”

“I can read to them if you have something you need to do.”

“Daddy, you go do your work. Beck will read to us.” Each girl grabbed a hand and started dragging me to the couch.

“Beck, you don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind, really. Go do what you need to. We’ll be right here.”

“If you’re sure?”

“Daddy, she already said it like twenty times. She’s sure.”

I looked at Ryder with a grin. “Go on, we’ll be fine.”

Ryder moved toward the back of the store while the girls and I snuggled into the couch to read a book. I had a girl sitting on either side, huddled into me. We were a few pages into the book when the bell over the door jingled.

“Who the fuck are you?”

The girls and I jumped at the angry voice.

“Avery!” Chrissy said.

Tabitha jumped from the couch before I could grab her as she ran to the woman.

“Well? Who the fuck are you, and what are you doing with my girls?”

I stood up as Chrissy replied, “This is Beck, she’s Daddy’s friend. And you said a bad word, Avery. Twice.”

She held up two fingers toward the girl.

I looked at the woman, or should I say, girl. She looked about Lily’s age. She was pretty, but she certainly wasn’t Tammi.

“Your girls? You don’t look like Tammi.”

She picked up Tabitha and set her on her hip. Motioning for Chrissy to come to her as the girl walked over.

“We don’t say that name here. She lost the right to these girls when she walked out on them. So, I ask again, who are you?”

“Calm down, Avery, Beck is a friend. She’s not trying to steal your girls from you.” Ryder walked in like nothing happened. Like this girl hadn’t just walked in and dropped the f-bomb in front of his children twice.

“Beck, this is Avery. The girls’ nanny. Avery, this is Beck. We grew up together. Beck also knew Tammi, and never liked her, if that helps.”

“It does.” Avery smiled and stepped forward with her hand out. “Sorry, I get a little overprotective when it involves my girls.”

I shook her hand and replied, “I can forgive you for looking out for these two.”

“Avery, do you think you and the girls could hang out here and mind the store? I have somewhere I want to take Beck. When we get back, we can head out and get some pizza.”

Avery looked between Ryder and me.

“Uh, sure.” She gathered the girls, and I felt like she wanted to take back that smile and apology she gave me just a few minutes ago.

Don’t worry, dear Avery, I’m not after your girls or their dad.

Avery took the girls back to the couch while Ryder took my hand and headed for the door.

I looked back at Avery and, though she was busy with the girls, she looked over her shoulder at Ryder and me.

I wished I could put her mind at ease.

“So, where are we headed?” Ryder still hadn’t let go of my hand.

“We’re going for a walk.”

He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it.

When he noticed my eyes widen, he laughed. “Don’t worry, there’s a reason I’m not letting go of your hand, and it isn’t what you think.”

I walked along, not really paying attention to where we were going, as my thoughts turned to Ryder and Avery.

Avery was clearly interested in Ryder. Why wouldn’t she be? Ryder was a hot single dad. He was literally what romance books wrote about.

I was curious how old Avery was, and how long she had been taking care of the girls. She had some pretty powerful feelings about Tammi, so she must have known her. Ryder said she had been gone for two years, so I imagined Avery had been around at least that long. She looked about Lily’s age. Lily was nineteen, so Avery might have watched the girls at seventeen. Maybe earlier than that.

Was Avery the reason Ryder and Tammi split?

No, I knew Ryder better than that. Avery would have been underage. Then again, I have been gone eight years. People changed over the years.

Lord knew I had.

When I looked up at Ryder to ask him about Avery, I saw where we were.

“No,” I whispered.

I couldn’t be here.

I couldn’t do this.

Not here, not now.

I wasn’t ready for this.

I wasn’t ready to let go.

I stopped, pulling back on Ryder’s hand.

“Beck.”

“Why did you bring me here? I don’t want to be here.”

“Have you been here at all since the funeral?”

Looking around the cemetery, my eyes burned.

I couldn’t be here. Pulling my hand, I tried to break away from Ryder’s grip. I looked around for my escape when Ryder took my other hand and stood in front of me.

“Beck, it’s been ten years. That night at the clubhouse, it was clear you hadn’t moved forward. You can’t even say his name.”

“I don’t need to say his name,” I snapped. “He’s gone, Ryder. Saying his name won’t bring him back.”

“Avoiding your grief won’t bring him back, either. Where did you get stuck? My guess would be depression. You’re almost there, Beck. Acceptance is the last step. That’s the one that helps you move on.”

“I don’t want to move on. I don’t want to accept it.”

Tears ran down my cheeks as Ryder wrapped me in his arms.

“I can’t, Ry, I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.” Crying into his chest, I begged him, “Please don’t make me do this.”

“Ok, Beck, ok. Let’s head back. You can’t ignore it forever, but for today, this is as far as we’ll go.”

With his arm around me, we headed back out of the cemetery.

Once we got to the parking lot, I heard the rumble of a motorcycle. I looked up and saw a lone rider. He was too far away to see who it was, but I had my suspicions.

As he drove away, I heard Ryder mutter, “Asshole.”

I guessed Ryder suspected the same as I did.

“Let’s head back, get the girls and go get some pizza?”

I looked up at my friend and nodded. “Yea.”