Blood and Buttercups (A Vampire’s Guide to Gardening #1)

Chapter 13

13

Because my life has gotten incredibly weird, I end up at a hardware store after breakfast so my new bodyguard and I can pick out a replacement front door.

“Is it even safe to have a window in it?” I ask Noah as we browse the options. Like carpet samples, the doors are on a swinging rack display, so you can page through them like an enormous book.

“The newer ones are safer than regular windows,” he says. “But it was time to replace yours anyway. It was old and far too easy to break.”

“I still can’t believe you busted the glass.”

“All part of the service,” he deadpans, pausing at a door. “What about this one? It looks similar, doesn’t it?”

“Too expensive.”

“I’ll pay for it.”

“Fine.” I eye him. “Pick out the most expensive one, and let’s go.”

He rolls his eyes and keeps looking.

“I think I want a door we can paint,” I say. “I’ve always wanted one in a cheerful color.”

“We?”

“I’m giving you a discount for your room and board, remember? I plan to put you to work.”

“I said I’d pull your wagon.”

“That’s not worth a two-hundred-a-month discount.”

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

“Yep.” I pause on a nice, classic front door. “I like this one.”

“That’s one of the cheapest options.”

“It’s budget-friendly.”

“It might be cardboard.”

I flash him a look. “Fine. Which one do you like?”

He flips through the lot again and stops at a door that’s middle-of-the-road in price, with classic looks, and is paintable. “How about this one?”

“I like it.”

“Great. Let’s look at security cameras.”

I follow him out of the aisle. “I think you’re confusing my profession with one that makes good money.”

He chuckles. “Not today, then?”

“No. But while we’re here, let’s check out their plants.”

He turns his honey eyes on me. “Didn’t you just say you’re broke?”

“There’s always room in the budget for flowers.”

“You can buy pansies, but you can’t buy a security system for safety?”

“A six-pack of pansies is a couple of bucks. A six-pack of security cameras is a couple hundred. This isn’t girl math. Flowers are way cheaper than cameras.”

“But do flowers keep you safe?”

“No, but I don’t need a security system—I have you.” I pause near the entrance. “Now grab a cart, security puppy. I want to buy some marigolds.”

My brother’s truck is parked on the left side of the house when we get back, in its usual spot in the gravel. Noah said we couldn’t leave the house unattended with a broken door, so I texted Max and asked him to watch the place while we were gone.

Obviously, my brother had questions. I told him I’d answer them later.

I’m afraid later is now.

“How am I going to explain the busted window to Max?” I ask.

“Since you’re not married, your brother counts as immediate family,” Noah answers. “You can tell him.”

“Sure, I can tell him. But he’s going to freak out.”

“He’s going to freak out anyway. You asked him to watch over your house because I broke into it thinking your stalker got in.”

“And why did you think that?”

“We’ve been over this. You stopped texting, and then you didn’t answer your door.”

“I stopped texting because I didn’t want to take the blood.”

“Such a toddler,” he mutters.

I shouldn’t laugh, but I can’t help it.

“Okay.” I park the truck and turn off the engine. Then I take a deep breath and turn toward Noah, raising my clenched fist in the air. “ Fighting. ”

“What are you doing?”

“It’s a K-Drama thing. To pump yourself up? Like a battle cry?”

“A what?”

“You’re a lost cause.” I get out of my car. “You want to get the flowers out of the back?”

“You mean the flowers that cost as much as a security system?”

I bring my finger to my lips. “Shhh. The hired help doesn’t get opinions.”

He scoffs. “And to think, I could have been babysitting forty-three-year-old vacuum salesman Colin McGary.”

“Sounds like you really missed out.”

We begin pulling flats from the back of the truck. I think I have a few minutes to put my story in order, but Max emerges through the front door before I’m ready, scowling.

“Piper.” He says my name like I’m in trouble.

“Hey, you want to help us with the flowers? There was a sale, and I needed to supplement my May stock that died while I was sick. Plus, I bought some more bedding plants because the empty barrels are depressing.” Avoiding his eyes, I add, “Oh, there’s a door in here, too.”

“What is going on?”

“I’m going to do some planting.”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“I have acquired a vampire stalker.” I pick up a wobbly cardboard flat holding several six-packs of zinnias and shove it at him. “Take those to the garden, will you?”

“Just tell me.”

I step close to him and angle my head back, pointing at the two faint scars on my neck. “He bit me about a month ago, the day after that mess with Kevin. The doctor ran some bloodwork, and apparently, I was infected. It’s cool. I’m not actually a vampire—I’m just pre-vampiric. I do have to take blood, though. I haven’t managed to choke any of it down, but I’ve eaten several cows’ worth of steak in the last week.”

Max scowls at me, flashing Noah a dark look. “Stop messing around.”

“No, it’s true. Now I’m registered in NIHA’s system, and they’ve assigned me a bodyguard.” I gesture toward Noah.

“Conservator,” Noah corrects.

“Bodyguard sounds so much cooler—don’t fight it.”

Noah raises his eyebrows, his expression amused and patronizing. It’s a gift.

“Piper,” Max warns, sounding weirdly like our father.

“Just set those down and come inside.” I wave to a spot near the porch swing. “I’ll show you the pamphlets.”

Agitated because I’m not one for practical jokes, Max deposits the flowers on the porch and walks inside, his eyes catching on the broken window. “And what happened to the door?”

“Noah thought my stalker broke in, so he busted through the window, action-hero style.”

Noah rolls his eyes. “That’s an exaggeration.”

Max gives my conservator a dark look.

“The pamphlets are in my bedroom. I’ll grab them real quick.” I point at my brother. “Be nice.”

I hurry because I’m not sure I trust Max to behave. Maybe there was a better way to break the news to him, but getting it over with quickly seemed like the best way to tackle it.

I expect to find Noah and Max in the living room when I come down the stairs, but their voices are coming from the kitchen. I hear Max swear, which isn’t a super good sign, and I hurry a little faster.

“This is an elaborate prank,” Max says when I step through the doorway, pointing at the prescription bottle. “How much did this cost you?”

“Uh, well. It was pretty reasonable, especially considering I have crappy insurance.”

I set the pamphlets down on the kitchen island and shove them toward him. Max flashes me an incredulous look and picks one up.

“Once we arrest Ethan, your lawyer will push for medical compensation,” Noah says. “It’s very standard in these cases. Ethan will have to pay it.”

“I have a lawyer?”

“NIHA will assign one to you.”

“That sounds expensive.”

“For Ethan, yes. For you, no.”

Max makes a choking noise, continuing through the pile, which includes the prescription info that I added to the stack when I got home from the pharmacy.

Noah jerks his head toward the paperwork. “That reminds me, we still need to make an appointment with your dietitian, and you’ll want to start your support group soon.”

“Okay, I’ll go to the dietitian, but I’m not sitting in some lame support group.”

Noah sighs. “Piper, I know it sounds?—”

Max holds up a hand. “Just…stop talking. Both of you.”

I swallow, shifting my weight from one foot to the other, watching my brother. He’s about to lose it.

Suddenly, he picks up his phone. “What are you doing?” I ask urgently, stepping forward. “You can’t tell anyone.”

He evades me easily, holding the phone up to his ear and swatting me away when I get close. “I’m at Piper’s. She’s claiming her doctor told her she’s a vampire.”

“No!” I hiss. “Max!”

“Okay.” He ends the call.

“I can’t believe you told Mom and Dad,” I say, feeling betrayed. “They’re going to come home early from their vacation and completely freak out.”

“It was Olivia.”

“Oh.” I process that for a second, and then relief hits me. “I’m not supposed to tell her.”

“Too late now,” Noah says tonelessly.

I turn to the hunter, growing nervous. “Am I going to get in trouble? Will they arrest me?”

“This is ridiculous,” Max mutters.

Noah frowns at my frazzled brother. “No, but you have to keep your brother from running his mouth about all this, or they might arrest him. ”

“Don’t tell anyone else,” I command, scowling when Max turns his back to me and runs his hand through his hair. “I mean it.”

My phone buzzes with a call, and I know who it is before I even glance at the screen.

“Oh look, it’s Olivia.” I hit the accept button, preparing myself. “Hey.”

“So instead of telling Max you’re sick, you told him you’re a vampire ?” she says without even saying hi.

“I am a vampire.” There’s silence on the other end, and I decide it might be best to keep pushing forward. “Okay, not a full-fledged vampire. I’m pre-vampiric. I’m not, like, contagious or anything.”

“That’s not funny.”

“I didn’t think so either, especially when the doctor started talking about blood smoothies.”

“ Piper. ”

“I have the blood prescription in my fridge, Olivia. It’s freaky as heck. And that’s not all. Because I tested positive, I’m now registered in some system. They’ve even assigned me a bodyguard because my vampire is a stalker.”

“Conservator,” Noah corrects again.

“Seriously.” I meet his eyes. “Embrace it.”

Olivia’s still silent.

“Livi?” I say.

“Give me a minute,” she answers. “I’m processing.”

“Are you on your way?”

“Well, yeah. Obviously. But I’m ditching a massage with Alessio to come see you, so you better be a creature of the night, or I will be ticked.”

“Go to your appointment. I’ll still be a monster tonight.”

“This is weird.”

“Tell me about it. Turn your car around and go see Alessio.”

“I’m going to,” she finally says. “He’s hard to book.”

“I know.”

“When do you get to become extra hot? Is that like an actual thing?”

“I haven’t noticed any increase in hotness. Maybe it happens at a later stage?”

“Bummer.”

“Yeah.”

We say our goodbyes, and then I turn my attention back to Noah and Max.

“Who’s Alessio?” Max demands.

“A masseur who works at the Glenwood Springs Spa. Olivia likes him.”

Max’s eyebrows jump, jealous enough he’s temporarily distracted.

“I know this sounds crazy,” I say, bringing the conversation back to the matter at hand. “Short of frying myself in the sun, which is incredibly painful, I don’t know how to convince you I’m telling the truth.” I pull up Ethan’s text messages and then slide my phone across the counter. “But read these and tell me they aren’t concerning.”

“Are those from Ethan?” Noah asks.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll need to see them as well.”

With a frown deeply etched on his face, Max scans them and then hands Noah my phone.

“Vampires are real, but they’re not magical monsters,” I say. “The weird symptoms are the product of a virus. It’s an illness—an illness I now have.”

“An illness your body fought and overcame,” Noah corrects. “You’re not a vampire yet, Piper, and you never will be.”

Max stares at me, eyes slitted, expression skeptical. Then he jerks his head toward the bottle on the counter. “Okay, prove it. Drink that blood.”

“Right now?”

He doesn’t answer, but he definitely isn’t playing.

My stomach twists, and I turn my eyes on Noah. “We better try that smoothie.”