Bonded Beyond Trickery (Trick or Treat Monsters)

CHAPTER 2

WHITAKER

It’s a strange sensation to ache for something you’ve never had. I’ve been missing my mate for the last seven years and not having her at my side, the phantom sensation of a bond pulsing between us, has left me feeling empty in so many ways. Finding solace in my pack and throwing myself into being the best Alpha I can be hasn’t helped as much as I wish it would.

Instead of lessening the feeling of loneliness, it’s brought into stark relief how I’m ruling the pack without my Luna at my side. I’m unbalanced. I’m unmoored.

I can’t fulfill everything that my pack needs by myself, which is why my mom, Kyra, and Ella, my Beta female, have been helping with the Luna’s role in the pack. It’s been working, but I can feel the strain of it in my mom and Ella, but also in the pack.

They’re feeling the loss of their Luna’s love.

It’s a feeling I can more than relate to since I feel the loss of my mate’s love on a daily basis. It’s a wonder I can make it through each day. Sometimes each minute is pure fucking torture.

I miss something I’ve never even had. I want someone I’ve never even met. I yearn for a connection that I can’t even comprehend.

Watching mated pairs makes me irrationally angry at this point. It wasn’t always this way, but over the last seven years, the feeling of missing my other half, of not being whole, has taken its toll on me.

Maybe if I weren’t an Alpha it wouldn’t be so bad, but I am and there’s nothing I can do about that. Not only does it mean that the need I have for my mate, and the bond we’ll share, is stronger, but she-wolves are attracted to my power. It’s not like I can blame them for that—well, most of them—but I’ve made it very fucking clear that the only woman who will ever warm my bed or find a place in my heart is my Goddess given mate.

No one else will do.

I’m not sure how many times I’ve made that clear, but it’s something I’m confronted with almost daily. My resolve is strong, though, and backed up by the strength of my wolf.

“No one else is good enough for us,” my wolf snarls in my mind. There’s a feral edge to him now, even though we’ve been out running for the last few hours. “I won’t accept anyone other than our mate.”

“I know,” I try and soothe him, even though I want to roar at the thought of a chosen mate, “I won’t either. I want our mate.”

Thankfully, he chuffs, but lets it go at that. It’s almost a miracle and the only thing that has come out of burning off some of my extra energy. No one has tried to broach the topic of a chosen mate, not for over a year, but that doesn’t mean we can’t feel the pressure of needing a Luna.

“Of course we need our Luna, but only our Luna will do,” my wolf grumbles.

There’s not much I can say to him because I agree. I know trying to appease him won’t do much, not while we continue to run the pack by ourselves and relying on our mother and Beta female instead of the mate that should have been at our side for years.

As I stalk into the packhouse kitchen, I barely look around, my focus is on the fridge to grab some water. There are a few hours until dinner is served in the packhouse, and lunch ended long enough ago that the people who work in the kitchen have cleaned up and are no longer in the kitchen.

The quiet is a welcome distraction from the disquiet my wolf brings to the table as we yearn for our wayward mate. As he snarls in my mind, I can only mentally smirk. He’s only proving my point at this rate.

“Alpha Whitaker,” is purred from slightly behind me and I whirl around to find Cassidy, a she-wolf who has tried to lure me into her bed more than once, eyeing me up and down.

“Hello, Cassidy,” my tone brokers no further conversation, but I know she won’t take the hint.

She never does. It irritates me to no fucking end. That’s not even touching on what it does to my wolf.

With the way he’s growling in my mind, it’s a shame that Cassidy can’t hear it. If she could, she would back off. Probably. Hopefully.

The hungry glint in her eyes tells me that more than likely she wouldn’t. How does a she-wolf have no sense of self-preservation?

Cassidy stalks closer to me, her hips swaying in a way that I’m sure she thinks is seductive. She pouts, “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, Alpha.”

I narrow my eyes at her knowing full and damn well that she saw me just last night at dinner. I almost always eat in the packhouse dining room along with most of the pack. It makes me feel closer to the rest of my pack and allows them to approach me with issues when and if they need to.

Alphas who try and distance themselves from the pack, who hold themselves higher than the wolves who make up the majority of the pack, aren’t good Alphas. Those are wolves who think their position gives them more power than it does. While we have a hierarchy, it is there for the good of the pack; we are not a kingship and never will be.

At least not in Silver Howler Pack.

The only downside I’ve been able to find with making sure I remain accessible to my pack is that it has allowed she-wolves to become brave when it’s the last thing they should be.

“I was at dinner last night, Cassidy,” I try, and fail, to keep the growl out of my voice. “I saw you there with one of my warriors,” I point out with a raised eyebrow.

There’s no way for me to force the rest of the pack, especially the younger wolves, to wait for their mates, but I try to lead by example in this way. While I don’t condone having sexual partners outside of the partner you’re fated to be with by the Goddess, I don’t judge others for their choices. How can I when I won’t be the one held responsible for their actions?

All I know for sure is that I wouldn’t want to be mated to a she-wolf who spread her legs for the unmated males of the pack. Nor would I expect my Luna to roll over and not feel a certain way if I had chosen to bury myself in the pleasures of the flesh that is offered to me like a she-wolf buffet.

The thought of it being embarrassing for her when she finally does arrive, and the jealousies she would have to endure from she-wolves who forgot their place because of orgasms, makes me wince as I swallow down bile.

To her credit, Cassidy blushes at the way I blatantly, yet gently, call her out on her out-of-fated mated relations.

“It’s not serious,” she defends herself, but I keep my face carefully blank. She must think it’s an invitation instead of an attempt to maintain decorum because she steps closer to me. “I was thinking that we could have some fun together. You know,” she bats her eyelashes at me, “while we’re waiting for our mates to show up.”

She might say that she wants her mate, but my gut is telling me that she would willingly—hell, enthusiastically—forget all about her mate if she thought she could sit at my side as the Luna of the pack.

My wolf pushes his way to the surface and my eyes flash with him. Cassidy freezes in place, recognizing the predator I am and the danger she’s put herself in. Sure, she’s more than capable of defending herself against a threat, but not against me.

“How is having fun,” I snarl, “equate to waiting for your mate?”

She blinks a few times before taking a small step back. That doesn’t make my wolf relax, not even a little bit. “I just thought-,” she starts, her voice wobbling.

I cut her off, my wolf evident in my voice, “Don’t. I thought I made myself clear, Cassidy. I’m not interested in anything from you or any other she-wolf that is outside the role of packmate and Alpha. The only woman who will warm my bed, the only woman who will stand at my side, will be the Luna that the Moon Goddess has blessed me with.”

Cassidy’s mouth falls open in shock and I can see the fear in her eyes, but I don’t give a fuck about it. I can’t. Not when this has been a conversation that I’ve had more than once. With her. With other she-wolves. With far too many and far too frequently.

I turn and storm out of the kitchen, not giving a fuck about the wake of rage and annoyance I’m leaving behind. I hope everyone chokes on it.

When I make it to my office, I slam inside and come to a screeching halt when I find my father and former Alpha of the pack, Damon, waiting for me. As if I haven’t had enough to deal with in only the last few minutes?

Before I can growl out my frustration at him being in my office, even though it used to be his, I feel my Beta, Alex come up behind me. It takes considerable effort to breathe through the feelings coursing through me. My wolf only enhances those emotions, and I find myself not only struggling to calm myself down, but him as well.

When I feel like I have a firmer, but not ironclad by any stretch of the imagination, grip on my control, I stride around the desk and sit in the chair behind it. Thankfully, Dad didn’t try and sit in my chair. I think that would have just pushed me over when I was already teetering along the edge.

I look between Alex and Dad, wondering who is going to piss me off less. With a pinch to the bridge of my nose, I realize that it doesn’t matter because my gut is screaming at me that they’re both here to test my fucking control. The way my wolf is pacing in my mind only makes me more restless.

And to think I just came back from a run.

“Dad,” I force my voice to remain calm and neutral even though I’m feeling anything but, “what can I do for you?”

Dad leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees as his eyes study me. Having been the Alpha of this pack for years, I know he’s seeing much more than I want him to. He’s always been keen, not only when it comes to me but the pack at large. Retirement hasn’t done a damn thing to lessen those instincts.

“I wanted to check on you,” Dad’s voice ricochets around the room, but I can hear the underlying meaning in his words.

“If you’re here to, again,” I level him with a knowing—and pissed off about it—glare, “try and talk me into considering a chosen mate then you’re shit out of luck. I won’t have anyone at my side who isn’t the rightful, Goddess given, Luna of this pack.”

I swear that pride blooms on my father’s face before he shutters it and gives a chin lift in acknowledgement. “Then,” he shrugs one shoulder as if I’m not moments away from launching myself over my desk for any infraction, small or large, “I guess it’s a good thing that I’m not here to have that conversation. Again,” the single word holds weight and the echo of what he isn’t saying.

Not yet.

I chuff out a breath, spurred on by my unhappy, annoyed, and beyond frustrated wolf. There are times when we feel wholly disconnected, as if it is a miracle that we can exist within the same body. There are also times when it feels like we’ve melded into one.

When it comes to matters of our mate, we’re in perfect agreement.

We wait.

We try to harness some semblance of patience.

We treat her like a goddess, like our Luna, when the time comes, and we have been granted the ultimate gift by the Moon Goddess.

With a humming sound, I turn toward Alex and eye him with a sudden wariness. Growing up, I always knew Alex would be my Beta. He’s the first, and only son, born of the Beta family. Thankfully, none of his younger sisters saw me as a prize.

Considering the next born in their family is only a year younger than us, that could have made things tense and awkward around the packhouse. It turned out better than I hoped since we all grew up together and forged a bond like siblings and none of Alex’s sisters ever saw me as anything more than that. They also, like Alex and I do, respect the mate bond, and have either found their mates or are waiting until the day they are blessed with theirs.

Part of me is jealous of Alex. He is my best friend. We are brothers forged not in blood, but respect and responsibility. But he found his mate the day of his 18 th birthday and Ella is his perfect match in every way.

She’s also a fine Beta female.

“If only we could have been so lucky,” my wolf grumbles, his disquiet making me feel uneasy and on the verge of frenetic.

“I’m definitely not here to talk about a chosen mate,” Alex assures me with a smirk. He produces a golden envelop from out of nowhere, seemingly. He always was one to have a slight flair for the dramatic; it’s kept me grounded and reminds me to not take myself too seriously. “I’m here with the invitation to the mating ball.”

I blow out a slow breath as my wolf starts to pace inside of my mind. As much as I want to go, I find myself staring at the envelope like it’s going to grow teeth and attack me.

It’s a reaction that can’t be helped after seven years of mating balls without a mate and Luna to show for it.

I clear my throat, trying to push away the fear that a fucking envelope brings out in me. “Who is hosting this time?”

Alex’s grin widens. “Blood Rising Pack is the host this time.”

I relax a little bit in my chair. At least it’s being hosted by a pack with a solid Alpha and Luna pair at the helm. Before Tristan Hart found his Luna, it was not a pack I enjoyed going to. Tristan was grumpy and volatile. I didn’t understand it then, but after the word spread about what happened with his mate and Luna, Serenity, and how long he had to wait for her, I could sympathize.

I’m on the edge of losing my skin to the fur with just the notion of waiting for someone nameless and faceless. But for him? To meet his mate when he was just 18 and she was too young to know the bond that would shape their future?

It must have been pure fucking torture.

I shake my head, not wanting to think about that kind of pain, that kind of purgatorial waiting. My own is bad enough.

“As much as I don’t want to go,” I sigh and slump back in my chair. Dad and Alex straighten up and open their mouths like they’re going to argue all the reasons why I have to go, but I cut them off, “I guess one more mating ball won’t hurt me.”

If only I had the hope of it being a fruitful endeavor. Honestly, and I only allow myself to admit this in the darkest of night and only to myself, I’ve lost hope.

I’m just not sure what to do with the reality of never finding my mate and leading my pack with no one at my side.